by S. Moose
“Oh my God! I’m starving!!! Can we get something to eat?”
I laugh. “Yeah, let’s go.”
Sitting in the restaurant and enjoying our strawberry and vinaigrette salads, Lexi pops her head up and looks at me. “Hot yoga!”
“What?”
“Yoga! We need to stay in shape and prepare our bodies for delivery. The parent magazine I was reading today said yoga is the best form of exercise and it will help us when we have to deliver!”
“Hot yoga, though?”
“Oh, come on! Look at me! I’ve gained like twenty pounds,” she pouts. “It’ll help me lose weight and keep us in shape! I mean, you’ll probably carry it all in your front.”
She has a point. I haven’t worked out in a while and I feel like I have no energy. “Fine, sign us up. But remember, it has to be after Emma leaves for school.”
“Got it!”
Emma’s almost home from school. She’s loving it and making new friends. Seeing her come through the door, telling us how her day was, and what she did truly makes us happy. The best part of the afternoon is catching her in my arms and spending time with her.
Her dance recital’s tonight and Nicholas is missing it. I tried calling him again, but no answer. I’m tempted to call Larry or ask Lexi to pry, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I know he’s not doing anything wrong and he’s one hundred percent faithful to us. But a phone call or a simple text letting me know how he’s doing would mean so much right now.
“Mommy!” Emma runs to the kitchen, jumping up and down, holding a picture in her hands.
“Hi, Princess! How was school?” I bend down to her level, giving her kisses on her little cheeks.
“So fun! I drew this for you.” She hands me a picture, “It’s you, Daddy, and me outside, and this is our house. These are hearts because there’s a lot of love and smiles because I’m happy you’re back and because you’re gonna be with us forever.”
All the worries I have are out the window. Hearing Emma telling me all of this warms my heart. I love her like my own and I’ll always be here for her.
“Emma, baby, thank you so much. I love you.”
“I love you too! I’m hungry. Can I have a PB&J?”
“Sure, I’ll make you one. Go wash your hands and put your things away.”
“Okay!”
Emma runs out of the kitchen and I prepare her lunch. I look at my phone again and there’s still nothing.
Right before we’re about to leave, Jensen walks in, holding a bouquet of roses and lilies.
“Hey,” he says, giving me a hug.
“Hey, you. Those flowers are pretty!”
He hands me the lilies. “These are for you.”
My face turns pink and a smile comes on my face. I tilt my head to the side, taking the flowers. Jensen, oh Jensen. I still feel horrible about the way things ended, but he’s been an important part of our lives and a great friend. “Awww, thank you, but what are these for?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “Just because. You seem down, so I thought these would make you smile. I remember you telling me that lilies are your favorite flowers and, when you see them, it makes you happy.”
Oh my damn. Why does he have to be so sweet? “Thank you. I appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome. So are you two almost ready?”
I call up to Emma and help her with her shoes. She’s in a great mood and feels like a princess, especially with her flowers and recital dress. Tonight, it’s their ballet recital and she has her first solo. I take out my phone again and take a picture of Emma with her flowers.
Me: Just in case you’re wondering, this is Emma on her recital night. She has a solo and her daddy isn’t here. Just thought you’d like to know. Oh! And Jensen’s here and he brought her flowers. I hope you’re enjoying your business trip.
“ARE YOU SURE YOU WANNA DO THIS?”
Reading Karly’s text message is killing me. Knowing I missed Baby Nugget’s appointment and Emma’s recital doesn’t sit well. I’m already breaking my promise to her. My chest tightens, knowing what I’m doing. More lies, more secrets. More reasons to give to Karly so she can leave me. I don’t deserve her. She doesn’t deserve this shit.
The last forty-eight hours have been from hell. I was supposed to be back home with my family, but I’m still here in Ohio, saving Jamie.
We were about to leave for the airport when the text message came in about Jamie. At first, I ignored it, but then the picture of her blew up on my screen. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I knew I had to do something. I couldn’t let her die. I intended to make it home so I could start my life over, a clean slate. I’m still stuck in the drama web of Jamie. I was getting tired of all the bullshit. Yet I’m sitting here, ready to save her again.
“I have to. You saw the picture. They want the money and I need to save her.”
Larry stops the car, turning to me. “Why? What the fuck does she have over you?”
“I can’t explain it, all right?” Seeing the picture of Jamie tied and beaten scares the shit out of me. I know she’s done shady shit, but I can’t let her die. I can’t let that stay on my shoulders and look at Emma. It’s too much. Once I pay off the rest of her debt and get her out somewhere safe, I’ll be done with her and can fully give myself to Karly without distractions.
“I hope you know what you’re doing, dude. You have a baby on the way. What do you think will happen when Karly finds out?”
“She won’t! This needs to stay between us. I can’t stress her out with this bullshit.”
“Whatever, man. You got her back and now you’re gonna lose her because of your fucked up connection with Jamie.”
Everything Larry’s saying is true. I’m risking everything with Karly to save Jamie – the woman who kept the truth from me and turned our lives upside down.
“Wait here. I’ll be back.” Opening the car door, I run inside the dark building. I run up the stairs to the third floor and knock on the door three times. A tall, bald, muscular man answers the door. There are tattoos on his arms and face. Fuck, I better make it out alive.
“I have the money for J.”
“In.” He pulls me in and looks out in the hall.
Following him to another room, I see Jamie in the corner and another man at a table, holding a gun.
“Put the money on the floor and move to the side.” I do as Baldy says and wait for further instructions. I peer over towards Jamie and see her beaten body in a fetal position. Her bruised, nearly naked body is covered in blood and she looks filthy.
What the fuck did they do to her?
“The money’s all here. Take her and leave.”
I’m about to get Jamie when Baldy grabs my arm. “Tell her never to cross us again or else she’ll find herself dead. No one will ever be able to find her body.”
Grabbing Jamie in my arms, I rush out to the car and help her in. Bringing her to the hospital is too risky. Larry looks at her and back at me. “Hotel.”
He nods and starts driving.
We clean her up as much as we can, but the bruises are still there. She finally comes to after a few hours and moans, grabbing her stomach.
“What happened?”
“Your debt is paid off.” I get up from the couch and hand her a pile of papers. “You need to sign off on the divorce and then we’re taking you to the airport. This is over, Jamie. I can’t keep coming to your rescue.”
Tears fall from her eyes. “I know and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Larry huffs, leaving the room. “I know you’re sorry, but this is it. You need to figure out your own life and leave mine alone. Emma will be fine.”
Her mood instantly changes. “Well, what the fuck am I supposed to do, Nicky! I can’t survive out there on my own. I need help!”
“I can’t help you anymore. Do I make myself clear? You’ve taken so much from me and Jensen. What the hell is going on with you?”
Jamie gets up from the bed, pacing the room. “Pu
t me in rehab. Please. I need it. I need help so badly, Nicky.” Tears come down and she pushes herself away from me. In the corner, she wraps her arms around her knees and rocks back and forth. “I need help. I need help. I need help. I’m so scared. I’m going to fall again. I’m going to die taking drugs. I need the drugs, right? The drugs help me.”
I don’t believe what I’m seeing. Seeing the rise and fall of Jamie pisses me off. I’ve done so much to help her and she’s asking for more. All the lies and deception, but I can’t let her die. I can help her, but fuck, Karly’s gonna be pissed.
“I’ll set up an account, but you are to be watched. I’m hiring someone to watch over you. Do not fuck this up, Jamie.” I hand her the papers again. “Sign these, now.”
Taking the pen from my hand, she signs where she needs to and gives me the papers. “You’re welcome for letting you go.” I ignore her comment. Getting up, she walks over to me, touching my arm with a smile on her face. Fuck; I know that smile. “Thanks, Nicky.”
“This doesn’t mean anything. You’re still Emma’s mom, unfortunately.”
“You’re a good man, Nicky.” Leaning over, she kisses my cheek. The kiss of death.
Walking into the dark house, I put down my bags and quickly head upstairs. When I open the bedroom door, both of my girls are in bed, sleeping. It’s nearly three in the morning, but I need to see them. I need to hug them and say “I love you.”
As I kiss Karly and Emma, they slowly wake up. “Daddy! You’re home!” My Princess jumps into my arms, but I know Karly’s upset with me. I’ve missed too much.
“Hi, Angel.”
“Welcome home, Nicholas.” No baby. No babe. Just Nicholas. Yep, I am fucked. I lean over and kiss her lips before putting Emma down so I can get ready and fall asleep with them – my world.
I wake up the next morning, letting Ed know I won’t be coming in. I need to spend quality time with my fiancée and let her know how much I love her. In the kitchen, I whip up pancakes, sausage, and eggs with orange juice and two cups of coffee. On the other tray, I have chocolate chip pancakes and yogurt for the Princess. Bringing the trays – with talent, I must add – upstairs, I set them down and kiss both of my girls on their foreheads.
“Wake up, sleepyheads.” I kiss them again. “Come on; it’s time to get up.”
“Daddy, stop. So early.” Emma stretches, curling next to Karly.
“Nicholas, stop. Shhhh, quiet time.”
I shake the both of them and wait until they’re up. “I made breakfast.” This wakes up Karly and she rushes to the bathroom, cursing her bladder. “Emma, look; chocolate chip pancakes.”
“Fine! I’m up!” Dear God, please let me have a boy. I can’t handle another daughter.
Slowly, she gets up and eats her breakfast, praising my good cooking skills. Karly comes out of the bathroom, giving me a “we’ll talk later” look, and sits back on the bed, devouring her food. Damn, she can eat. But I don’t say that. Nope, I’m already about to die today.
“You made so much food! Oh my God, I’m going to gain so much weight.”
“But it’s good for the baby.” I rub her stomach, hoping Baby Nugget can feel my love.
“Yeah, and be fat like a whale.”
“It’ll be fine. Once the baby is born, you can get back into your workout routine.”
“So you do think I’m fat!” Oh fuck. “Because I’m eating for two and crave sweets all the time, you think I’m fat? I mean, I’m sorry for being tired all the time. It’s not easy being pregnant, Nicholas! Do you wanna try? Huh?”
“No! No, baby, that’s not what I meant. I know fitness and being healthy mean a lot to you.”
“All because I’m pregnant and have been eating like it’s an open buffet for ten doesn’t mean I’m fat!” She gets up from the bed, studying herself in the mirror. “Oh my God; I’m so fat! Where’s my cocoa butter lotion?” As she sprints into the bathroom, I fall back on the bed, kicking myself. Great, she’s going to keep this going.
“Baby! You’re fine.” Slam. Slam. Slam.
“NICHOLAS! GO BUY ME COCOA BUTTER LOTION! I AM NOT GETTING STRETCH MARKS!”
“Okay, I will, once Emma’s on the bus.” How the hell am I going to live like this?
When they’re both done eating, Emma hops off the bed and gets ready for school.
“I’ll take Emma out to the bus. Go back to sleep and, when I come back, we’ll talk.”
She shakes her head. “I’m gonna take her to the bus too. It’s what I’ve been doing and I’m okay.”
“We’ll go as a family. How’s Baby Nugget doing after your mini breakdown?” I ask, placing my hand on her stomach. She’s not showing yet, but it makes me feel better, knowing my baby is in there, safe and sound.
“Good. If you’d texted me back or if you were there with me, you’d know.” She smiles, kissing my cheek.
We put Emma on the bus and wait until it’s gone before going inside. As soon as the door closes, Karly looks at me with murder in her eyes.
“Was your phone broken?” I shake my head. “Were you hurt at all?” I shake my head again. “Then why the hell couldn’t you have answered!”
“I’m sorry,” is all I can say. She can’t know what happened. Not yet. Not now.
“You’re sorry! Really? That’s all you can say?” She pauses, looking at me, trying to read my expression. “You helped Jamie, didn’t you?”
“NO! I don’t know what else you want me to say. This trip took a lot of my time and I am sorry I didn’t text you or call you. The firm is riding my ass right now and I’m up to be partner.”
Karly gasps, looking at me. “You’re up for partner? And you didn’t tell me? Nicholas, it would be nice if I knew these things about my fiancé. I mean, for God’s sake, are you hiding anything else?”
“No, I promise.” I walk to her, placing my hands in hers. “I love you and I want to spend my life with you. So don’t worry, okay? Everything is okay and it’ll be okay.”
“All right.” She leans in to kiss me. “I don’t know if I can hear any more bad news.”
“I promise everything’s going to be okay.”
The week comes and goes. We’re preparing for a BBQ at the house. Lexi and Karly have been running around, getting things ready. I said we should get it all catered, but Karly gave me that “Just because we’re rich doesn’t mean we can’t do things on our own” look. And that’s also a look I don’t fight with. She’s been ultra-sensitive these days. Crying at everything. Pissed off at the world. She tried on ten dresses today. None of them fit, so of course she went to the mall with Lexi and came home with bags of clothes. I wanted to ask her about her spree, but decided against it. I kinda want my balls in place.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST PART IS ABOUT GAINING WEIGHT? When your clothes don’t fit anymore! I know this is normal and I’m pregnant, but I can’t help but to feel really bad about myself. I don’t feel pretty, especially when all that fits are my yoga pants and Nicholas’ shirts. Even though I’m really early and I’m not showing, I’ve gained fifteen pounds.
Trying on one more dress and failing miserably, I grab Lexi and we head to the mall. Heading to different stores and trying on countless dresses, I finally find one.
“I can’t wait until you’re showing, then you’ll know what I’m going through.”
“Lexi! You’re hardly showing!”
“But look at me!” Lexi’s gained a lot of weight too, and it’s getting to her, especially with all the younger and hotter women in the firm. I get where she’s coming from, but luckily, our men love us and we can trust them. Well, I’m still trying to trust Nicholas again.
“You are still super sexy.” I wink.
“Oh, shut up. You’re my best friend! You’re supposed to say that!”
I laugh, taking her hand as we walk out of the mall. Thank goodness for the fast trip! Hurrying inside, Lexi stays in the living room enjoying the AC while I rush to get ready.
Pulling out my
new dress, I put it on and fix my hair and makeup. It’s so hot today, so I keep my hair up and my makeup light. I’m definitely not getting in the pool today, so I don’t need to wear my suit.
Wearing a soft mint-green summer dress, I walk downstairs and join our friends in the backyard. With so much going on, we all needed this time to relax and hang out.
Baby Nugget is doing so well! The doctor is feeling good about my pregnancy, so there’s no cause to be worried. I stopped Googling every symptom I have to trust that my body will know when something is wrong.
While Lexi is ready for Baby Kayden to come out, I’m happy with being pregnant.
“Oh my God! Can I please move to the North or something? It’s soooooooo hot!” Lexi’s not dealing with the heat very well. The pregnancy is hard on her. They’ve had a few scares, but everything is back on track. Poor Larry’s been up just as much as Lexi. He’s had to cancel most of his business trips and lost his chance at partner.
Family first, he always tells us. I wish that applied to Nicholas. He’s been working late and coming home in the early morning hours, just to head back a few hours later. It’s getting hard, but I have Emma to keep me company.
Jensen comes over twice a week to hang out with us. Emma adores Jensen! It’s really cute, but when he has to say goodbye, it breaks me. I see the pain in Jensen’s eyes and I wonder if he’ll ever be okay with his decision not to claim Emma as his daughter and take her away from us. Fucking Jamie and her stupid craziness!
“Mommy! Look!” My head pops up and Emma’s running and diving in the pool. Ugh, my heart. Since she’s had the cast taken off, the girl cannot stay out of the pool! Sometimes, I wish the cast were still on. I hate when she dives, and she knows it too.
“Emma! Be careful.” A fit of giggles fills the air.
“Don’t worry so much, baby. She’s fine.” Of course, Nicholas hardly ever worries. That’s my job.
“Easy for you to say. She’s like a walking accident!” He kisses me, resting his hand on my stomach. This is the Nicholas I love and miss.