by L. B. Reyes
“Make me forget, Nathan.”
CHAPTER 20
Evelyn
Grief can make you take stupid, reckless decisions, and maybe this was one of them. My brain had ceased to work. I just needed something to numb the pain, something to make this terrible ache disappear. I'd never felt so lost.
Life had always been relatively easy for me despite my parent’s behavior but now, now I didn't understand it. As much as I tried to comprehend why things were happening this way I couldn't. Nothing made sense.
Nathan swallowed, his eyes traveling down my body, drinking me in. He was trying to keep in control with his hands by his sides, but I saw the lust and hunger in him.
Nathan exhaled, leaning down and picking up the dress I had been wearing. He handed it to me. “Don't do this, Evie.” he tried to reason with me. “You're not thinking straight.”
Rejection.
That's all I felt. What did it matter if I wasn't thinking straight? This hurt too much. He cared about me. He could make it go away. Why didn't he want to help me?
“Nathan, please,” I said, stepping closer to him. “Please, please, I don't want to feel this.”
He shook his head. “Evie, baby, this isn't the way to do things. You deserve more than this.”
I looked away, holding the dress to my chest, now feeling self-conscious about how exposed I was. Maybe I wasn't doing things right. “Don't you want me?” I asked, my voice a pathetic whisper.
He cupped my face in his hands, eyes searching for a hint of uncertainty. He leaned down, pressing his lips to mine with a sweet kiss. “Of course I want you,” he admitted softly.
“Then, please, Nathan, please make me forget. It hurts too much, I don't want to feel this anymore. Make it go away, make all the bad go away.” My eyes watered once again as I searched his, trying to decipher whether he would hold me in his arms like I knew he'd been wanting to for such a long time.
I lacked experience, but I didn't want anyone else to teach me anything.
I wanted him.
“Evie,” he sighed, pressing a kiss at the corner of my lips. “I don't want you to regret this.”
His resolve was breaking, he looked down on me, eyebrows furrowed in thought until I reached up, placing my hand over his cheek. I let the dress fall to soft carpet again, this time closer to him. Nathan seemed to think about it for a moment until his hand landed on my waist, pulling me flush against him.
I closed my eyes, feeling how his hands traveled up in a gentle caress, barely brushing the sides of my breasts until they were on my shoulders. They rested on my neck and I licked my lips, forgetting about anything and everything else.
Nate's lips descended on mine, passionately and ravishing, leaving me breathless and unafraid. He was claiming me just with that action; a bruising kiss that said there wouldn't be another man after him. I didn't want there to be.
My trembling hand went to the towel wrapped around his waist and Nathan broke the kiss, watching me with curiosity. I swallowed and pulled it off, leaving him completely naked in front of me. I bit my lip nervously. How the hell would he fit that thing inside of me?
In an instant, I was being kissed again, intense and demanding. There was no denying that he planned to consume me, invade my senses with his touch, and there was nothing I wanted more. He lifted me up and my legs wrapped around his waist as he took us over to his bed.
Soon his lips were no longer on mine, but kissing my neck, nipping at the flesh and then down my heaving chest, until he latched on to a nipple that so desperately needed his attention. I gasped at the new sensation but had no chance to dwell on it, for Nathan's hand dived between my legs, cupping my already wet core. “Fucking hell,” he groaned, pulling aside the material that covered me. “You want me to help you forget then?”
Every sense in my body was on overload against the onslaught of his expert touch, and as a finger entered me, my body bowed, giving him the answer he needed. He kissed his way down my breasts, then my abdomen, sliding the panties I still wore down my legs in the process. The feeling of his warm breath was suddenly on my dripping core, and my eyes widened in surprise. I heard Nathan mutter a curse, and then his lips were on me.
“Oh Nathan,” I moaned, my hips bucking against his face. His approval came in the form of gentle humming against my folds while his hands held my body still.
He devoured me then. There was nothing else in the world that mattered but the feel of his lips on me, his hands holding me down as he focused only on my pleasure. He didn't give a damn about anything else, his tongue thrusting into me, bringing an onslaught of bliss I didn't think was possible.
My moans filled the room and shamelessly, my fingers tangled in his hair, pushing him closer to my body.
“Please,” I begged, needing something, anything to help me find the release I craved. “Please, Nate.”
He listened. Nathan's tongue flicked over my swollen clit, one, two…three times, and then thrust his fingers inside me at the same time his mouth took my bud in his mouth.
I imploded.
Crying out, my eyes squeezed shut while his warm tongue lapped up my wetness as I rode out the orgasm. “Fuck,” I panted, holding on to the sheets. Vaguely, I felt his lips traveling back up, licking my pebbled nipples before his mouth met my own, as he kissed and settled his body between my legs.
I should have been scared perhaps, maybe doubt whether this was right or not. But when his warm eyes met mine, eyes that shared the same grief that mine did, eyes with the same longing, all fear was erased. He kissed me again, and I felt him, the tip of him at my entrance, slipping past my folds as he lubricated himself with it. I moaned, the sensation making my body tingle with need.
“I want to be inside you,” he said against my lips. “Would you like that, Evelyn?”
“Yes,” I breathed, raising my hips eagerly. “But please kiss me,” I whispered, almost feeling pathetic.
He gave me a small smile before bringing his lips down to mine, my hands tangling in his dark hair while my legs did the same around his waist. Thankful I was on birth control, I let myself get lost in kiss and touch.
Then he thrust into me. I cried out, breaking the kiss and throwing my head back with a sharp inhale of breath. My nails dug into his shoulders at the feeling of him stretching me out, the intrusion proving more painful than I anticipated.
“Holy shit,” Nathan grit out, his hand running over my sweaty forehead. He looked concerned, shocked, eyes roaming my face as understanding dawned on him. “Evie, you're a virgin?”
I nodded, biting my lip as my flesh spasmed around him.
“Oh, fuck,” he hissed, burying his face in my neck. He began kissing the skin there, his tongue flicking my earlobe seductively, earning a throaty moan from me. Taking that as his cue, Nathan pulled out and then pushed himself back in, both of us shuddering with the sensation of being so close…finally.
“You feel so good, so fucking tight,” he murmured, biting my neck as my body began to adjust to his size. I started meeting his thrusts, urging him on. Sensing my needs, his rhythm steadied, the gentle thrusts almost torturous but so good. Soft moans left my lips, pleasure cascading through my body with each and one of his movements.
There was no way things would go back to being like before. Nathan was with me, inside me, surrounding me; taking my body and capturing my soul. I wouldn't have had it any other way.
“Nathan.” His thick length caused things in me I'd never felt before.
At the sound of my voice, he rested his forehead against my own.
We didn't break our gaze, not as his pace increased, not as I felt his hand between us, flicking over my sensitive clit, not when the climax started welling up inside of me. My moans grew louder and I lost control. My walls contracting rhythmically around him, letting the feelings of ecstasy take over.
He kissed me, swallowing up the noise I made without stopping, my sensitive clit being teased even further until I was a whimpering mess. Na
than didn't let up until I felt him swell inside me, his thrusts growing erratic as he let go with a grunt. I whimpered, struggling to catch my breath.
After a few minutes, Nathan pulled out, his absence leaving a void in my body. He picked up the towel we'd discarded on the floor, cleaning me and later throwing it back without a care. His arms wrapped around me and he nuzzled my neck, humming in contentment against my skin.
“You should have told me you were a virgin,” he said softly. “I would have been more careful.”
“Was it bad?”
He looked up at me, gray eyes sparkling with adoration. “It was amazing,” he reassured.
I sighed, relieved. “I was so afraid you wouldn't like it.”
“You have nothing to worry about, Evelyn.” I gave him a small smile and he pulled me closer to his chest, running his fingers through my crazy, tangled hair. “Go to sleep, Evelyn. Tomorrow's a new day.”
I nodded, closing my eyes and drifting away into a peaceful sleep in the arms of the first and only man there would be in my life.
CHAPTER 21
Evelyn
I woke up the next day still in Nathan's arms. I shifted, wincing slightly at the pain between my legs.
“It's still early,” I heard Nathan state, his voice deep, laced with sleep. “How are you feeling?”
A soft sigh left my lips when I felt his arms tighten around me, embracing me as if afraid I'd disappear. Strangely enough, even through the hell of the past few days, that morning I woke up feeling content…motivated. I didn't feel numb any longer.
My heart still ached at the thought of Nana no longer being there, but as I laid in Nathan's arms, listening to the steady beating of his heart, my own felt lighter. I knew what we'd shared was more than a one night stand and I couldn't think of another man I would have wanted to share such a special moment with. I was his more than words could describe.
“I'm feeling better,” I replied.
“Good.” He tilted my chin up and looked down at me with a smile so happy and pure that it made my heart flutter. There was no way he could be faking those feelings for me. “God, you're beautiful, Evelyn.”
I blushed, running my hands through his disheveled hair. “You already laid me, Nate, no need for sweet talk.”
He chuckled, leaning down and kissed me. “Not sweet talk,” Nathan spoke against my lips, his voice tender. Soothing. “It's only the truth.”
My heart thudded in my chest at the sparkling of his eyes; he looked so happy. “What's going to happen with Hannah?”
“Divorce,” he said without hesitation. He must have seen how shocked I was because his lips tilted up to an amused smile. “I'm not waiting anymore. I'm contacting a lawyer Monday morning.” Nathan moved a strand of hair away from my face, gently lingering on my cheek with a tender caress. “I don't want anything between us anymore, Evie. I want to be able to show you off, kiss you without hiding, and hold you out in public. I—You're the best thing that's happened to me in years. I don't want to hide it.”
My vision blurred with tears. He was being far too sweet and with my emotions all over the place, it was only a matter of time before I started crying again. Nathan didn't lose his smile.
“Your Nana told me a few weeks ago that life has a strange way of bringing people together.” I sniffled quietly, nodding against his chest at the realization Nana had said the same thing to him. “I'm going to miss her because she was like a second mother to me, Evelyn, but I can't help but think that this is what she meant. I don't want to waste any more time without you, Evelyn. I made mistakes, I know that, but I must have done something right to have you in my arms like this.”
“You're good with words, Nathan Maxwell,” I muttered, wiping away a tear.
“Each and every one of them is true, Evelyn Carson.”
We laid in bed for a while; whether it was minutes or hours, I didn't care. He held me as if I was the most precious person in the world for him, the person that was the sole reason for his happiness as if guarding me would guard his own heart.
“What's going to happen with the house?” I asked, dragging a finger down his chest.
“I'm not sure,” Nathan murmured, kissing the top of my head. “If she wants to keep it she can. I'm going to buy something else. Maybe near campus.”
“But it's your house.”
“That doesn't mean it's a home,” Nathan interrupted.
“What about your studio, it's—”
“It's just a studio, Evie. I can have that anywhere. What I need is a place where I can start fresh with you. No memories of your sister or what we've been through. Granted, it probably won't be big or luxurious, but I'll give you what I can.”
“I don't need luxury, Nathan.”
“I know,” he said with a small smile. “I know you don't. You deserve it, but you're too selfless to ask for it. That doesn't mean I won't treat you like my queen every day and night.”
“So this is long-term?” I asked.
I felt him tense until he shifted, pulling up and on top of him so I could straddle him. Nathan's brows were creased and his lips were pressed in a thin line; he was frustrated.
“Evelyn, I don't do short term. I've never fucked around with women just because. You are my long-term; hell, you are so long-term that I see ourselves chasing each other down with our wheelchairs.” I giggled, leaning down and kissing him. He chuckled, letting his lips go down to my neck, nipping softly. “You are perfect, Evie.”
“Keep talking like that and you may just earn a morning quickie,” I gasped, tilting my head back. His laugh warmed up my heart. I’d never heard such a free sound leave his lips.
“Mm, Evie, keep talking like that and I may just make you a bit sorer.” He raised his hips and I suppressed a moan, not losing the smile on my face. We kissed again, our mouths moving together without a care. I moaned into his mouth when his hand cupped a breast, pulling gently at the sensitive peak.
“Oh my goodness!”
My eyes widened at the voice.
No, no, no. This could not be happening.
“Oh shit,” Nathan said, pulling me to his chest and the sheets over my exposed body.
“Nathan Maxwell, what the hell are you doing?”
***
I played with the hem of my shirt nervously, intimidated by the two pairs of eyes set on Nathan and me. He squeezed my hand in comfort but I didn't miss the suspicious gazes directed towards us. It was hard to blame them; they'd found their son naked in bed with his sister-in-law. There was no way that was going unquestioned.
The Maxwells, from what I knew of them, were sweet and understanding. Humble, yet respected in the community they lived in. They had a reputation for reasons completely different from my parents. They were helpful; always giving back to their community. I always admired them even though at the moment, I was sure I wasn't on their good side.
“Did you use protection?”
My eyes snapped up, meeting the accusing gaze of Deborah Maxwell. Nathan opened his mouth to speak up but when his mother raised her hand, stopping him, he pressed his lips together, squeezing my hand under the table yet again.
“Uh, I—” I stuttered.
Nathan's dad, Frank Maxwell snorted, an amused glint in his eyes. He nudged Deborah with his elbow, whispering something in her ear that made her suppress a laugh. Remembering that we were still there, she cleared her throat and put on a serious face.
“You know the grandmother train is fast approaching and I've yet to have grandchildren, right?”
Alarmed, I looked over at Nathan who now looked like he was at the verge of laughter. He wrapped his arm over my shoulders, pulling me into his arms before chuckling. “Ma, leave Evie alone, you're freaking her out.”
The woman smiled compassionately, extending her hand over to me. I took her hand, reveling at the warmth. Her grey eyes were tender on me, showing me more care than my mom had in the past few days. I gulped. “Where are your parents? Your sister?”
/> Shrugging, I replied, “I don't know. I haven't seen them since yesterday.”
She nodded, but I didn't miss the way her husband stiffened next to her; his gaze meeting Nathan's.
“I'm not sure what else to say,” I said nervously.
“Are you…dealing better with the circumstances?” She asked.
“I think so,” I replied. “It's still surreal.”
Nathan's father surprised me by walking towards me, extending his hand to me. I shot him a confused look but took his hand and stood up, completely confused as far as what to do.
“Yesterday we weren't able to properly give you our condolences because of the drama,” he said, his accusing glare directed towards Nathan. “But we truly are very sorry about what happened to your grandmother. She was a lovely woman and we cared about her very much even if we only met her a few times.”
“Thanks,” I whispered.
He hugged me then, catching me off guard. It was strange having a man hugging me in such a fatherly way other than Carter. I didn't get those type of hugs from my own father. I sighed, thanking him briefly before he let go of me. His wife followed, and her hug, it lasted longer.
“I know we've barely talked, but if you need something you can always give us call or come visit,” she said softly. “Always make your grandmother proud. Be brave and strong like you've always been. Don’t sell yourself out to the people that surround you, okay?”
“Thanks,” I said once again, feeling incredibly odd.
After a few moments of silence, the couple cleared their throat and looked between Nathan and me, smiling as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on.
“Now,” Deborah said, clapping her hands together. “I do believe you two have a lot to tell us so please begin whenever you’re ready.”
As if he'd been waiting for the moment, Nathan spoke up and explained to them everything that happened since I came back. There was no judgment coming from the Maxwells, just understanding and the occasional question of “are you sure of what you're doing?”