by Fox, Nicole
He frames it almost like a question. And I can only stare at him, trying to figure out an answer that doesn’t sound like a lie.
“I… Well, I mean… Tristan has always been an extremely insecure man,” I answer at last. “The bullies always are.”
He looks at me carefully. He’s too smart to miss the fact that I haven’t exactly given him a direct answer.
But thankfully, he doesn’t press me for one.
“‘Bully’ is too kind a word for him,” Cillian says. “Apart from that, Tristan didn’t really give much away about the Kinahans’ plan. And given that they planned on delivering Padraig to my doorstep in a body bag, I doubt he would have.”
“I’m sorry, Cillian,” I say sincerely. “I wish I could help.”
“You being here at all is a help to me.”
I smile. “Is that right?”
“You keep me calm,” he replies simply.
My chest tightens as I think back to when we were both eighteen, unencumbered with pain and loss. With unwanted husbands and disappointed fathers.
“Fuck me,” Cillian curses bitterly, looking out into the pristine lake.
“Hey,” I say gently. “You’ll figure this out.”
He shakes his head. “I should have had them back here by now.”
“It’s only been days since they were taken,” I point out. “You’re being too hard on yourself.”
He snorts derisively. “Ma used to say that to him when we were boys,” Cillian tells me. “‘You’re too hard on them, Ronan.’ He told her that we weren’t going to stay boys for long. We needed to get used to the real world.”
I feel a zip of sudden awareness block out the rest of Cillian’s sentence. “Ronan?” I repeat.
“What?” Cillian says, frowning at me.
“Your father’s name is Ronan?”
“Uh… yeah?”
Ronan and his bitch, too…
I grab Cillian’s arm as the memory resurfaces. “I heard Tristan say the name just after he locked me up in that cell,” I tell him urgently.
Cillian’s expression ripples with hope. “Did you hear anything else?”
“He mentioned that they were taken to… The Cavern, I think he said?”
I hope Cillian knows what that means, because I certainly don’t.
“The Cavern,” Cillian repeats, awestruck. “The fucking Cavern.”
“You know the place?”
“Yes,” he breathes, a smile lighting up his features. “Yes, I fucking do. It’s a secret police black site they use for interrogations and high-risk prisoners.”
He leaps to his feet. I do the same.
“Fucking hell, Saoirse,” he says. “You’re my good luck charm.”
He stares down at me, radiating with energy and strength that’s so contagious I can feel every molecule of my own body humming right along with him.
A crazy thought passes through my head. If he kissed me now, I wouldn’t be able to stop him. I’d have no choice but to kiss him right back.
For the briefest of moments as he beams at me, it’s like he’s thinking the same thing.
Like it might happen.
The kiss that could save us both or send us both straight to hell.
But whichever one of those things it is, I’m ready for it, because all that matters is him, us, this—
All that joy drains right out the moment Cillian starts walking away from me.
I abandon my sketchbook on the bench and run after him.
“Cillian! What are you gonna do?” I ask, suddenly nervous about where this information might lead him.
He doesn’t break stride for a single instant. “I’m going to go storm the fucking Cavern,” he tells me grimly. “We’re getting my parents back. Tonight.”
The fear that births in my gut is cold and nauseating. “Do you have enough men for that?”
“We’ll find out.”
“Cillian!”
I don’t even know why I call out his name. I have no question to ask. No parting words to give him.
I just want to prolong this moment, delay his departure. As long as he’s here, as long as he’s in front of me, he’s safe.
Finally, he stops and turns. “Yeah?”
The mirth is gone from his eyes. He’s the O’Sullivan don right now.
Cold. Decisive. Violent.
I shake my head. I’m too flustered to hide the fear in my eyes.
He reads my face for a moment and his newfound intensity seems to simmer, to recede ever-so-slightly.
He returns to me and cups my face with both his hands. His touch is ten points of heat on my skin, and it’s almost too much to bear.
“I’ll be okay,” he says, reading my thoughts. “I’ve done this before. More times than I can count. I know what I’m doing, Saoirse.”
I’m shaking like a leaf. “That doesn’t make me feel better.”
He smiles sadly. “It’s gonna have to do for now,” he whispers. “You know I have to go.”
“I don’t care if you go,” I tell him. “I just want you to come back.”
Am I giving myself away with those words? I can barely tell up from down anymore.
But before I have a chance to find out, Cillian’s lips come down on mine.
I’ve spent thirteen years dreaming about what it would be like to kiss him again. No dream or fantasy came anywhere close to the lived reality of this.
His lips are soft and insistent. But there’s urgency in the kiss that’s new and frightening, even as the notes of familiarity amidst all the exciting newness have my head spinning.
My lips part ever so slightly. His do, too.
There’s only a tiny moment, a second of freefall, when our tongues meet and it feels like we’ll never break apart.
Until we do.
I don’t even know who breaks the kiss. All I know is that suddenly, I’m looking at his gorgeous eyes again and he’s looking at me with the regretful expression of a man who’s about to make an excuse he knows I don’t want to hear.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “I can’t get distracted again. But I’ll come back, Saoirse. I’ll come back for you.”
And then he leaves.
I stand there with my fingers tingling and my heart thudding painfully against my chest.
Why am I always the one left standing there while he walks away?
Why am I always the one left grasping at thin air where he is supposed to be?
At first, I think it’s sadness I feel. The same longing I felt as he walked away down that hospital hallway thirteen years ago.
Then I realize, No, it’s not sadness.
It’s anger.
It takes me several more minutes to process what that means. To understand what I intend to do about it.
But when I finally do, when the last puzzle piece clicks into place…
My determination becomes razor sharp.
This time, I’m not staying behind.
46
Cillian
AN HOUR LATER—THE OFFICE OF THE O’SULLIVAN DON
“Well?”
Kian puts the phone down with an ashen face. “You’re right,” he confirms with a nod. “They’re being held at the Cavern.”
“And you can trust your source?”
“The guy is a fucking pro,” Kian says. “He wasn’t able to breach the walls, but he managed to abduct one of the guards on duty. Twenty minutes of interrogation and the guy started talking.”
I slam my closed fist down on Da’s table, the table at which most of his decisions were made. “So we have a location.”
“We do,” Kian says cautiously. “Now, we just need a plan.”
I wave a dismissive hand in the air. “We have a plan. We get a fucking team together and get the fuck over there. Ma and Da could be back here by sundown.”
“You want to attack today?” Kian asks incredulously. “Now?”
“What is the point in waiting?”
“Fucking hell, C
illian,” he says. “We need a game plan. We can’t just go in blind.”
“We’re not blind. We’ve done this shit before. At least I have. We get together a team. We go in heavily-armed and we open fucking fire. We have the manpower and the element of surprise.”
“We haven’t done any recon,” Kian retorts. “We don’t know how heavily guarded the Cavern is, we don’t know how many men or what security measures they’ve installed since our last recon on the area. We don’t know jack shit.”
“Fuck that. Doesn’t matter.”
“Listen to me, goddammit! We need more time. I’m not asking for much,” Kian yells. “Another twelve hours at the most. I’ll send Rory and Rhys in and they’ll be back in a few hours with a full report.”
“No.”
Kian grips the edge of the desk until his knuckles go white. “Why the fuck not?” he growls.
I sigh, realizing that the alphas in each of us are close to butting heads.
“Because…” I grit my teeth down, knowing there’s no easy way to say it.
“Because what?”
“Don’t you think it’s a little suspicious that our only legitimate piece of intelligence came from Saoirse?” I ask. “It was a fucking fluke that she happened to overhear information that’s useful to us.”
“Do you have a point?”
“My point is that you have a team looking into Ma and Da’s whereabouts, don’t you?”
“Yes?”
“And every lead they’ve gotten so far has led to a dead end.”
Kian frowns. “What exactly are you trying to say?”
“That maybe someone on the inside doesn’t want us to find them,” I say bluntly.
Kian’s eyes narrow in my direction as he puts the pieces together. “You’re accusing our men of disloyalty.”
“I’m—”
“That’s a serious accusation.”
“I’m aware,” I snarl.
“Don’t put me in the position of having to defend them.”
“I’m sure most of them are loyal,” I say. “And I know how this looks. I fly in after a thirteen-year absence and start accusing our own men of fucking around. I’m very aware that it doesn’t look good. So why would I do it unless I truly believed we have a breach?”
Tension and worry flits across Kian’s face as he stands in the face of my logic. “Fuck,” he growls unhappily. “I’m not saying I don’t believe you…”
“You don’t have to believe me. How about for now, you just trust me?”
Kian sighs. “I suppose I have no choice. You are acting don.”
I smile. “Music to my ears,” I reply. “So let’s get going.”
“Slowly,” Kian barks, reaching for his crutches.
“Ah. When I say, ‘Let’s get going,’ I mean that in spirit,” I say. “You’re staying put, little brother.”
“Are you fucking serious?”
“What do you want me to do?” I say. “You can barely walk.”
“I can still shoot.”
“Kian, if you were in my position, what would you do?”
Kian rolls his eyes, and for a moment, I see the ten-year-old kid I’d never said goodbye to. “Fine, motherfucker. I’ll stay put.”
I clap him on the shoulder. “Good man. You can coordinate from here,” I tell him. “And keep an eye out for suspicious behavior. I want a contingent of men around the mansion’s walls. We need to make sure this place is secure.”
“I’m on it,” Kian grumbles, sitting back down and grabbing the phone.
And just like that, it begins.
* * *
Within the next half hour, I’ve got fifty men all rounded up. They’ve gathered in the private driveway, standing in front of the armored vehicles we’re driving to the Cavern.
Rhys, Rory, and Collin are standing at the front of the chaos. All of the men are wearing confused expressions on their faces.
And I know why.
They’ve been told to get in full gear. Bulletproof vests. Combat armor. Protective shields. The works.
I’ve told them to prepare for war, but they haven’t been briefed on anything else. That’s intentional on my part.
If there is a mole in the team, I don’t want them tipping off the other side.
But the time has come. One more speech before we launch a bloody fucking massacre on the bastards who took my parents.
“This is a rescue operation,” I announce to the assembled soldiers.
Most look instantly excited. A few look wary.
I notice that Rory is in the latter group.
“I’ve found the location at which my parents are being held,” I tell them. “And we’re going to get them back. We attack with full force. No mercy shown and no quarter given. Just work your trigger fingers, stay together, move in formation. We get in, we grab them, and we get out again. Is that understood?”
A murmur goes up through the men.
“Where are they being held?” Rhys asks.
“The Cavern,” I reply.
More murmuring amongst the ranks as the buzz of excitement grows.
“We’ve got to have each other’s backs in there,” I tell them. “Now, let’s go get the big man back.”
As we jump into our respective jeeps, I run down the driveway and get into the first one at the head of the pack. I slam the passenger door shut and glance to the side.
I’m certain I catch a glimpse of red hair thrown by the wind.
Then I blink and there’s nothing but trees and the narrow bend of the lake to see.
Just a figment of my imagination, I’m sure.
The kiss Saoirse and I shared still feels soft against my lips. It’s effortless to bring back the overwhelming moment. Her smell, her heat, her touch…
But I can’t allow myself to be distracted right now.
It’ll have to wait.
The gates hurl open and we speed off the compound. The other ten men in the vehicle with me are quiet and focused. Each one checks over their ammunition and their gear, making sure everything is in order.
There’s nothing like the high of an impending battle to get a man’s blood flowing. But even though I’m trying to focus, I can’t help comparing it with the high of the kiss I’d just shared with Saoirse.
Somehow, the bloodlust coursing through me pales in comparison to the pure lust I feel for her.
I tell myself that’s a good thing.
I hope to God I’m right.
* * *
We arrive at the Cavern in record time. It feels like only minutes have zipped by.
With a firm mental effort, I shove aside the dancing image of Saoirse in my head.
The Cavern is a secure facility of nondescript buildings, all low and metallic, ringed by walls and topped with barbed wire.
But the quiet engulfing it tells me the motherfuckers inside are not prepared for this hellfire we’re about to rain down on them.
I press down on the comms button that links me to the leaders of all the teams following behind in their own vehicles.
“We’re gonna drive right up to the gate and let the grenades lose. The moment the gate falls, we drive through and open fire.”
“Roger,” comes a chorus of voices.
A second later, one of the drivers crackles through. “Boss, just got eyes on the gate!”
“Grenades!” I roar.
At least six rocket-propelled grenades fly out of the jeep and hit the tall brown gates.
For a moment, the night is silence.
Then we blow it the fuck open.
The explosives go off one after another in a hellacious cacophony of rending metal.
Instantly, the alarm sounds, but I ignore the blaring as I give my men the signal to throw the second round of grenades.
Once the gate teeters on the brink of collapse, I raise my hand and bring it down decidedly.
We drive through and the gates collapse forward under the bumper, flattened by the speed and force of the
armored jeep we’re in.
We smash into at least two guards who are trying to get their bearings on the heels of the gate’s collapse. Gunfire pings off the roof and doors.
The rest of my men roar into the compound and the jeeps circle rapidly, trying to establish the layout of the compound.
It’s definitely big, but not so big that locating my parents will be difficult.
In any case, Kian’s stealth guy has given us a building name and description to look for.
It’s the smallest building in the westernmost corner of the compound. Dark marked walls with a low, sloping ceiling. I can see the roof from my position in the jeep.
“Five of you, get out and help the others contain this,” I order to the men in my vehicle. “The rest of you are with me.”
The moment the jeep is emptied of five of my men, I turn to Mark, who’s driving.
“High-tail it over there. The smallest building in the western corner.”
He revs the engine and, within seconds, we’ve come to a violent stop in front of the dark, rectangular structure. I get out immediately and my men flank me as we pour inside.
Before I can kick down the door, it’s shoved open.
But my finger’s already on the trigger, and I open fire on the sorry sucker who decided he was a match for us.
Bap-bap-bap-bap-bap!
The man’s body falls to the wayside, riddled with bullets.
“Follow my lead.”
I run up to the windows on the wall around the corner and smash them in with the butt of my gun. My men do the same to the other panes.
Inside, I hear panicked voices. “Hurry the fuck up!” a man growls. “Get them out of the cell.”
The only reason that they’d need to get Da and Ma out of the cell is to use them as collateral. A bargaining chip to save their own hides and buy some more time.
Which means I have a very narrow window of opportunity.
It’s a risky move, but I’ve never been one to take the conservative option. I bust the last remaining window, jump through, and land on my feet on the other side. Glass clatters off me in glistening shards as I raise my gun and start shooting at the three special ops soldiers standing a few feet from me.