by Price, Sarah
The song changed, and as a new one began to play, a couple of younger women shimmied their hips as they danced to the beat. One glance in their direction told Amanda that she didn’t care for either woman: their shirts exposed their stomachs and far too much cleavage while their skirts barely covered their backsides. She knew exactly what she was looking at: women who would do anything to spend one night with someone like her husband. Their morals were in the same category as those of a barn cat, Amanda thought, and she knew that they didn’t care whether he was married.
“Take five, everyone!” someone called out.
Amanda relaxed a little, lifting her hand to wipe the moisture from her forehead. She hated the lights. She hated the attention. She hated the intrusion into her privacy. Without being told, she knew what the word “marketing” meant. The white backdrop could easily be replaced with other backgrounds using computer graphic programs so that Alejandro’s marketing team could use the photographs any way they wanted, to promote any aspect of Viper or his tour. And she had no control over what the graphic designers put in those new backdrops.
“¡Ay, Princesa!”
Startled out of her thoughts, Amanda turned in the direction of Alejandro’s voice. Immediately, she smiled and started to walk toward him, but before she could take more than a few steps, he stood with her in the center of the backdrop. “Alejandro!” She didn’t care if people lurked in the shadows behind the bright lights. Just seeing him made her feel better, and she flung her arms around his neck. “Oh, I am ever so glad you are here,” she whispered into his ear.
“¿Sí?” He gave a little laugh, wrapping his arms around her waist. “And why is that?”
“I hate this.”
At this statement, so direct and clearly truthful, he tossed his head back and laughed, this time loudly. Several people glanced in their direction to see what had entertained Viper so much. Even Amanda had to smile at his reaction.
“Oh, Princesa,” he said. He pulled back and stared down into her face. “Why am I not surprised, eh?” He glanced around at the cameras, nodding when he recognized one particular photographer standing off to the side of the room. “It’s a lot for you to take in.”
“Ja, it is,” she admitted. Having grown up in a culture that frowned upon vanity—and along with that, photography—she found that being the center of attention was not something she could easily embrace.
He returned his attention to her and, bending his knees just a little, looked straight into her eyes. “Then you will love my surprise for you!”
Alejandro and his surprises! These were his way of letting her know that even if he was not with her or was busy with his work, he was always thinking of her. “I think you being here is surprise enough!” Still, she smiled. “What are you doing here, anyway?”
He brushed off her question, focusing instead on his news. “I know these past few weeks have been busy, sí? I requested that Dali clear your schedule for a few days.” He hesitated and lifted an eyebrow. “And mine.”
Oh! If she were a typically demonstrative Englischer, she would have hugged him, showing him how delightful this news was. Clearing the schedule meant time together! Try as she might, she couldn’t contain her pleasure with the unexpected news. Still, she had seen the schedule earlier that day. “When did you speak to her?” Amanda asked, concerned that Dali might have misunderstood Alejandro. After all, it was only an hour or so since Dali had shown her the schedule.
“Just now.” He motioned with his head toward where Dali stood, her cell phone to her ear. She was likely shuffling around Amanda’s appointments now. “There’s more, Princesa,” he said softly. “Before the tour, I am taking you back to Lancaster. Just for a few days. I think you need a break from all of this.” He gestured toward the photographers and the lights. “Besides, I know you miss your family.”
She gasped. Lancaster? To see her family? She jumped into his arms and clung to him, loving the sound of his laughter as he swung her around, her skirt wrapping around his legs. With her head on his shoulder and a smile on her lips, Amanda could do no more than just hold him, fighting back tears of joy at his thoughtfulness.
To return to Lancaster and spend time visiting with her parents and her sister? She couldn’t even begin to express her gratitude. How had he known that she longed for routine days spent doing simple barn chores and evenings spent quietly, whatever the outside temperature at her Pennsylvania home? The idea alone rejuvenated her spirit. Good home-cooked meals, fresh-baked bread, and time spent with people she loved was exactly what she needed. And then a thought occurred to her.
“You are coming too, ja?” she asked.
He squeezed her and whispered a soft “But of course!” in her ear, his breath warm on her skin.
She shut her eyes and enjoyed his affection. Since their night out the previous week, she hadn’t seen much of Alejandro. She felt as if they were on two completely different time clocks. On more than one occasion, she had forced herself to stay in bed, despite having woken up early, just so she could enjoy the pressure of his chest against her back. And when he awoke and pulled her tightly against him, his hand slowly caressing her bare arm, she felt the all-too-familiar wave of flutters in her stomach and the light-headedness that always preceded his private tenderness.
Now was no different. She forced herself to ignore the fact that other people were near and, undoubtedly, watching. Receiving an unexpected five minutes of his time and attention was worth the cost of the public display of affection that she would have previously shunned. She reveled in his arms holding her, his words caressing her ears, and his heart beating against hers for those few minutes.
When he finally pulled away, he held her at arm’s length and stared at her, his glance darting over her shoulder for just a second, as someone must have distracted him. “I must get back to work, Princesa,” he said in a low voice. He then pulled her back to him, pressed his forehead against hers, and whispered, “I will see you later this evening, sí?”
“Sí,” she whispered, her eyes shut. She savored the moment as if she were a starving person who was eating a last meal that was about to be taken from her. That was how she felt around Alejandro: starving. While she had known that he would be busy in Miami, the few moments they had together made her long for more. Now, knowing that she would have him all to herself for a few days in Lancaster, she began to count down the days until her fast was over.
“I must get back to my meeting.” He gently disentangled himself from her.
She walked beside him as he slowly headed toward the door, pausing to shake hands and give a few people bear hugs along the way. When they finally stood before the doorway, she turned to him. “You never did answer me, Alejandro. Why are you here?”
He laughed. “I own the building, mi querida. My offices and a small recording studio are on the top floor.”
Amanda’s mouth dropped open. The building was located on Biscayne Boulevard along a strip of commercial buildings. And while it wasn’t the largest one in the small industrial zone, it was far enough from downtown Miami that tourists didn’t know it existed . . . just as Amanda hadn’t known. “What else haven’t you told me?” she asked.
Laughing, he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “Finish up here, Princesa, and maybe I will tell you more surprises later tonight.”
More? Amanda stared after him as he left the room, the door slowly shutting behind him. For a moment, she didn’t move. While she didn’t know much about real estate or property values, she certainly knew enough to suspect that the building was expensive. Her Amish upbringing had taught her that money was not important; in fact, people could often begin to idolize not just money itself but also the act of acquiring it. While she didn’t care about money, she was beginning to wonder how much of it Alejandro truly had. She knew that he was a businessman and that he considered every opportunity to be a business opportunity
. But she was beginning to wonder if he knew when enough would be enough.
Life was meant to be lived. That was God’s ultimate plan for everyone: live life and give thanks to the Lord. Too many Englische people sacrificed their health—physical, psychological, and spiritual—to chase after material things. But at the end of the day, whatever had been acquired seemed insignificant in light of their desires for more. The last thing that she wanted was for Alejandro to face God one day realizing that, despite being alive, he had never truly lived.
That thought lingered with her long after his departure.
Chapter Eight
“Amanda!”
No sooner had the driver stopped the car in the driveway of the Beilers’ house than the front door opened and Anna ran outside, a big smile on her face and her head covered by a navy-blue knit scarf. She wore no coat, despite the weather being cold. When Amanda saw Anna’s dark-blue dress and black apron were covered with flour, she knew that when they walked into the house, the familiar scent of fresh-baked bread would greet them. It was a smell that she had missed.
Amanda stood by the car, Alejandro at her side, as her sister embraced her. “It’s so gut to see you,” Amanda said, returning the warm hug. “I’ve missed you so!”
Pulling back but leaving her hands on Amanda’s shoulders, Anna stared at her and shook her head, the smile still on her lips. “Look at you now! So Englische and worldly!”
Instinctively, Amanda glanced over her shoulder at Alejandro. He stood by the open car door in his black slacks and white shirt, his dark leather jacket unzipped, his hands behind his back, as he observed Anna’s greeting, a pleased look upon his face. He didn’t appear offended by her comment about the Englische.
“Oh, I’m not so certain about the worldly part,” Amanda said, returning her attention to her sister. While she knew that her appearance was different—for certainly she no longer appeared plain—she also knew that she was anything but Englische.
And that was the main problem.
In Alejandro’s world, she straddled the fence between plain and worldly. There were some things she refused to change, such as how she wore her hair or avoiding slacks. She had tried once but hated the feeling of the fabric against her legs. And even though Alejandro loved to see her with her long brown hair at nighttime, during the day she always wore it pulled back and in a tight bun at the nape of her neck. After all, Amish decorum dictated that only a woman’s husband should ever see her hair loose.
She knew that since her dancing lessons had begun, she had lost weight, something that concerned her, especially after Jeremy began to take in the clothes that he had purchased for her. Her face was gaunt, with more defined cheekbones, and her chin jutted out after hours of Stedman yelling at her about her posture.
But Amanda knew that she would never truly relinquish the part of her that was plain. Just standing in her parents’ driveway, the pungent odor of the dairy mixing with the fresh breeze that blew from the north, reminded Amanda that there was more to life than Miami and Los Angeles. As she glanced toward the porch and saw her mother at the door, Amanda fought back the urge to release her emotions.
Four days had seemed like such a gift. Now, four days seemed nowhere near enough, like one bottle of water in a desert; the joy of drinking it was almost ruined by the anticipation of the inevitable dry spell that would follow.
“Kum, kum,” Anna said, tugging at Amanda’s arm. She walked backward toward the house as she pulled her younger sister with her. “We’ve much catching up to do, ja? And just enough time to do it before supper.”
Inside, Amanda greeted her mother with a shy embrace. “Missed you, Mamm,” she said. “Danke for your letters.”
Her mother gave her a quick once-over and clicked her tongue. “You’ve lost weight, Amanda! You aren’t eating enough, I reckon!”
Amanda gave a little laugh. “Oh, Mamm, I’m eating just fine.” Still, when her eyes fell on Anna and her stout waistline, Amanda felt disappointment all over again. Without being told, Amanda knew that her sister was pregnant. And while she was happy for Anna, she felt a deep longing to bear her own child.
Her father sat in his wheelchair by the sofa, his eyes following her and the right side of his mouth lifting into a smile. Amanda hurried over to him and gave him a quick hug, letting her hand linger atop his. She glanced around the room, comforted by its familiarity, despite the realization that her memory of the house and kitchen must have changed; for now, as she stood there and looked around, everything seemed smaller than she remembered. How long have I been gone, anyway? she wondered. And why didn’t I feel this way when I returned home to help care for my father after his stroke?
“Everyone is doing well, ja?” The question sounded as awkward as she felt. Amanda simply did not know how to break through the layer of nervousness that lingered in the room.
Anna motioned toward the sofa. “Sit, Amanda,” she said. “You must be awful tired after such a long travel day.”
“Oh, it wasn’t so long.” Amanda didn’t want to sound prideful, so she neglected to mention that they’d flown into Philadelphia on a private jet.
Of course, the truth was that she hadn’t slept the previous night and she was tired. Alejandro had returned late after wrapping up some last-minute business, and she had been far too excited to fall asleep. When he walked into their bedroom, tugging at his black tie with one hand and carrying his jacket with the other, he had looked surprised to see Amanda waiting up for him. With her legs tucked underneath her body, she had curled up in one of the chairs by the bedroom window overlooking the pool. She’d held a book in her hands but wasn’t reading. Instead, she’d been staring out the window, watching the ripples in the water and thinking.
Dropping his jacket on the edge of the bed, he walked toward her. “You can’t sleep, Princesa?” he had asked.
“Nee.” As he had approached her, she lifted her hand and reached for one end of his tie that now hung against his white shirt. She tugged at it, and when he responded with a slight smile, she pulled it free. “I don’t know what I’m more excited for,” she said, unfolding her legs and sitting up straight. “Spending time with you or seeing my family.”
He knelt before her and rested his head in her lap, one arm wrapped around her waist. “Be excited for your family, Princesa, for I will always be with you, no?”
For several long minutes, they had remained like that, Amanda stroking his hair and Alejandro holding her waist. For Amanda, it had been one of those moments that she hoped she’d never forget. Her heart simply could not love Alejandro any more than at that moment.
Now, as Amanda sat on the sofa and tried to figure out how to fit back into the life of her family, she realized that Alejandro was not in the house. Immediately, she sat up straight and looked around the room, a moment of panic overtaking her. “Hasn’t Alejandro come in, then?”
“Nee, Amanda,” her mother said, leaning forward to glance out the kitchen window. “Appears he’s on his phone by the barn.”
Amanda noticed the way her mother emphasized the word phone, as if it left a bad taste on her tongue. Understanding her mother’s contempt for the intrusive device was easy. Amanda remembered that when she had first met Alejandro, she, too, had questioned his constant use of his cell phone. Eight months later, while she still disliked the endless interruptions, she recognized the importance of his accessibility. Although he had planned this trip to Lancaster so that she could visit with her family, that didn’t mean there weren’t things that required his attention. With the South American leg of the tour just two weeks away, the demands on Alejandro’s time would only increase with each passing day. And while she would have preferred that he sit by her side, helping her transition from Viper’s wife to Amish daughter, she knew whatever phone call had temporarily separated them must have been important.
“So tell me,” Amanda said, shifting her attention
back to her sister. Just seeing Anna hurry to the rocking chair and sit down, her eyes glowing as she leaned forward and stared intently at her sister, made Amanda feel better. It seemed like years had passed since they had last visited, especially since her previous trip home had not been under ideal circumstances. “I want to hear everything I have missed since Christmas!”
Anna wasted no time filling her in on the details from the past two months. Even the poor winter weather couldn’t stop the Amish grapevine from spreading. It didn’t take long for Amanda to learn that her friend, Katie Miller, had slipped on some ice during the winter and broken her arm; that Jeremiah Smucker, the butcher, had accidentally cut off the tip of his finger, and that their neighbors, the Zooks, had lost one of their draft horses to colic.
“Oh help!” Amanda shook her head at the news. “Hasn’t anything good happened since I left?”
Lizzie clicked her tongue. “Sure does seem that bad news accompanies winter,” she said.
Anna glanced over her shoulder. “Well now, that ain’t entirely so,” she said, contradicting her mother. “Daed’s been doing better.”
Amanda brightened at this news. “That is right gut news, indeed! Tell me more, Anna!”
Anna began updating her about their father’s condition. As Anna spoke, Amanda glanced at her father and reached out to touch his knee. She learned that while his speech was still poor, he was now able to move his arms and, with the help of the physical therapist he saw three times a week, had managed to walk a few steps.
“Why, that’s just wunderbar!” Amanda gushed, turning to her father. “I’m so glad that you are feeling better, Daed!”
He gave a slight shrug of his shoulders and tried to motion with his hand. “Better . . .” he said slowly. “What is better?”
Anna laughed, and there was a lightness about her as she playfully said, “Oh, Daed! You know the deal. Keep working hard with your therapist, and Jonas will get you outside to help with the fieldwork.” She looked at Amanda and lowered her voice a little, although they both knew Elias could still hear her. “He says he’ll only be better when he can farm again.”