by Olivia Miles
But he wouldn’t. Adam was his oldest friend. The Browns were the closest thing to a real family he had ever known, and he was expected there. And he didn’t like letting down the people he cared about.
Which was why he never, ever should have kissed Jane Madison.
CHAPTER
25
How are you holding up?”
It was already a week after Adam and Kristy’s wedding, and people were still stopping to ask her that question, usually accompanied with prolonged stares of disbelief long after she reassured them she was fine, just fine.
Anna gave a small smile as she waited for Jane to reply, and Jane pushed aside the minor annoyance she had felt at being asked the question. It was a knee-jerk response by now, after a week of hiding in her house. She shouldn’t have given such an emotional reaction at the diner last Saturday. It was out of character. Not like her. But she’d been on edge, and Henry had hit a nerve. In one sentence he had confirmed everything she had feared. That she did, in fact, have feelings for him, and that she absolutely shouldn’t have let them develop.
“I’m trying to stay focused on my day-to-day routine,” Jane told her sister. She took a sip of her sparkling punch and settled back against the couch in her mother’s living room. The entire house had been transformed for Grace’s bridal shower, and even though their mother was a professional interior decorator, Jane still couldn’t help but be taken by surprise at the thought and care that went into the party.
Bunches of creamy white balloons were hung in each corner, and every surface was anchored with a beautiful arrangement of apricot-colored roses. The dining room table had been turned into a buffet, full of silver trays and tiered stands, with beautiful finger sandwiches, colorful salads, and pastries, cookies, and cakes that looked too pretty to eat. Pink Champagne was flowing, classical music played softly in the background, and all of Grace’s closest friends were gathered for the special event.
Anna leaned in closer and lowered her voice. “Has the lawyer said anything more about the hearing?” She looked just as concerned today as she had been when Jane finally came clean with her about the custody battle a few hours after talking to Grace.
“Just that the date has been set for early December.” Jane chased away the hard knot in her stomach with another sip of punch. Champagne would probably be a much better solution for her nerves right now, but she needed to stay focused and think straight. She’d made enough foolish decisions in recent weeks.
She glanced at Ivy, who was chatting with Grace, happily sipping her Champagne and munching on one of those gorgeous French macaroons Anna had made. Jane took a particularly pretty lavender one from her plate and nibbled it. Somehow, the taste was good enough to distract her for a few seconds.
“I could strangle that bastard,” Anna hissed, and Jane coughed on her cookie.
She set it back on the plate and nailed her sister with a look of warning, but a warm glow filled her. “I won’t tell.” She smiled, and Anna did, too.
“You still haven’t told Mom then?”
Jane shook her head. “I think this wedding is complicated for her. She’s happy for Grace, but Dad’s absence is too obvious.” She paused, thinking that Anna could very likely be getting married soon, too, from the way things were going with Mark. “I feel guilty that Grace won’t have Dad there to walk her down the aisle. It doesn’t seem right that it was wasted on me.”
“Wasted on you!” Anna narrowed her eyes. “You had a beautiful wedding, and Dad was thrilled to be a part of it. It’s not your fault the marriage ended.”
“No,” Jane said sighing. “It wasn’t.”
She eyed her sister. “You didn’t like Adam, did you?”
“Oh, now. Don’t say that.” Anna picked up a miniature quiche and stuffed it in her mouth in an obvious effort to avoid having this conversation.
“You didn’t. It’s okay. I understand.”
Anna dabbed her mouth with a monogrammed cocktail napkin and met Jane’s eyes with a guilty smile. “I’m sorry, Jane. It wasn’t that I didn’t like him. Maybe… maybe my memory is just tainted based on everything’s that happened.”
Nice try, Sis, Jane thought, but I’m not buying it. “Grace didn’t really like him either,” Jane said. She suddenly realized that at every family gathering, holiday meal, or social function, Adam had mostly sat silently at her side, not making an effort with any of them, and certainly not trying to form a bond the way she had with his family.
“None of us really knew Adam,” Anna eventually said. She peered into the distance, as if trying to make sense of it. “He wasn’t very engaging. He was very…”
“Cold?” Jane volunteered.
“I was going to say aloof,” Anna said kindly. “He was very quiet and—well, sometimes it bothered me that he just didn’t seem very interested in making an effort for you.”
“Like taking me to my prom?” Her heart panged when she thought of Henry, standing there on her porch steps, wearing that bashful grin.
“I’m sorry, Jane. You deserve better. You deserve someone who will do those little things, because they’re important to you and because, well, because you’re important to him.”
“Why didn’t any of you tell me how you felt?” Jane demanded.
“You were happy, Jane, and so we thought maybe there was something there that we just didn’t see. No one really knows what goes on behind closed doors.”
Perking up, Anna said, “There’s a whole life ahead of you. Look at me! Who’d have ever thought I’d be back together with Mark, and running a restaurant with him, too? Life is full of surprises.”
Jane gave a halfhearted shrug. She’d had just about as many surprises as she could handle right now. She didn’t need any excitement or thrill. She just wanted security, and comfort, and maybe a guy who did little things for her once in a while.
A guy who would take her dancing, help her out when her business was struggling, maybe even warn her about the huge mistakes she was about to make in life.
But not a guy whose loyalty stopped short.
“Jane, Anna! Come sit with us, we’re opening gifts!” Grace was waving them over from across the adjacent living room, where she already sat at in the antique rocking chair passed down from their grandmother. Their mother had stripped and refinished it, bringing back the beauty of its natural grain. Jane hoped to pass it down to Sophie someday. But now, she wondered if it would hold the same meaning. If Sophie went to Denver, her time spent in this big Victorian house would be fleeting, reserved for a few visits a year.
The sisters stood and joined the group, wedging into the sofas and armchairs. Jane winked at Sophie, who sat on Rosemary’s lap, happily munching a cookie and ignoring the crumbs that were sprinkling down on her purple smocked dress. As Grace reached for the first gift, Sophie’s hazel eyes widened and she leaned forward, soaking it all in.
The first gift was from Anna: a beautiful porcelain cake stand engraved with Grace and Luke’s wedding date. Grace fluttered a hand at her chest and grinned at their sister. “It suddenly seems real now. I’m actually getting married in two weeks!”
“Open mine next!” Sophie cried out impatiently, and all the women laughed.
Grace searched through the beautifully wrapped boxes until she found the small one Jane had carried in. She opened it slowly, claiming the pearlescent paper was too pretty to rip, but her hands stilled as she lifted the lid to the box.
“You know the old saying, something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue,” Jane offered.
“Something old,” Grace said quietly, meeting her eye. “This was Dad’s handkerchief. He always had it tucked into his pocket.”
“He used it to clean his glasses,” Anna chimed in.
A hush fell over the room as they let the significance of the gift set in. Finally, Jane said, “Dad gave it to me on the morning of my wedding. He’d want you to have it on your day.”
Grace traced her fingers over the init
ials embroidered in brown floss at the bottom corner. “Thank you,” she managed, her voice barely above a whisper.
Jane looked over to see Kathleen beaming, but tears brimmed in her bright-blue eyes. “I’d forgotten all about that old thing,” she said. “He’ll be with you every step down that aisle now, Grace.”
Across the room, Anna sniffled, and Jane reached into her handbag for her packet of tissues. She plucked one free and handed it to her sister, whose tears turned to laughter.
Soon everyone was joining in, even Jane.
“Oh, Jane. We can always count on you,” Anna said, wiping her nose.
“We sure can,” Grace said, giving her a long, slow smile. Huffing in a breath, she turned to the pile of presents at her feet. “Which one next? Oh, Ivy, this is from you!”
Ivy, who had been unusually quiet up until now, nodded from her armchair next to Grace. She smiled weakly as Grace playfully shook the box and began popping the tape along the edges. Jane tried to remain engaged as her sister held up the stunning silver vase that elicited gasps of approval from the other women in the room, but she couldn’t keep her attention from wandering back to Ivy. Her eyes were glazed and feverish looking, and there was a high flush in her cheeks despite the rest of her face being an almost ghastly white. She propped her head in her hand, as if supporting herself with the arm of the chair, barely managing a vague smile as Grace thanked her for the gift.
Catching Jane’s concerned stare, Ivy abruptly dropped her elbow from the chair and righted herself. “I just need to use the bathroom for a minute,” she whispered. She started to stand, almost struggling to do so, and took a step toward the coffee table, fumbling to her left and causing Jane’s heart to skip in alarm. Her eyes seemed unfocused, trained on something far away, or not quite there at all—just like the time Jane had fainted once early into her pregnancy She was blacking out, she couldn’t see where she was walking, and she was going to smack her head on the edge of the hearth if someone didn’t intervene.
A cry went out in the room as Ivy righted herself once more, and after what felt like an interminable pause but was only a split second, crumpled to the ground. Jane, Kara, and Kathleen were closest and managed to bear the brunt of her fall before she slid to the ground.
“She’s unconscious!” Rosemary cried, crouching near. In the distance, Sophie began to cry, and Rosemary’s youngest daughter, Molly, ushered her into the other room.
Anna quickly called for an ambulance, and Jane reached for her phone, shaking as she scrolled through her call list until she found the number of the man she had silently sworn she would never speak to again.
He answered after the first ring with a hesitant, “Jane?”
“Henry, it’s your sister. I’m at my mother’s house and she’s collapsed. An ambulance is on its way. They’ll take her to Forest Ridge Hospital.”
“I’ll meet you there,” he said quickly. “Ride with her, Jane. Please.”
It was the first time he’d ever asked anything of her, she realized, but that wasn’t the only thing that made her pause. Henry hadn’t seemed the least bit surprised to know that his sister was lying on the floor, unconscious.
“And Jane? Let the paramedics know she’s a diabetic.”
Henry was already in the lobby of the emergency room when Jane arrived.
“She’s awake,” she told him. “They took her out of the ambulance and into an exam room. They said they’ll come out when you can see her. I managed to keep the others from coming along by insisting Ivy wouldn’t want to ruin the shower, as Grace’s best friend and all. It wasn’t easy, though, I can tell you that.”
“Good.” His rubbed a hand over his jaw, furrowing his brows over flattened eyes. A shadow fell over his face as he stared through the sliver of glass that lined the double doors to the ER.
“Why don’t I get us some coffee while we wait?” Jane didn’t wait for a response. The vending machines were against the far wall. She doubted it would taste any good, but it was something to do, and right now she needed to stall, and think of what she was going to say next. Her mind spun with questions—about him and, of course, about Ivy.
Henry had taken a seat with a view of the doors, and Jane handed him the Styrofoam cup gingerly. “It’s hot,” she warned. “And they only had that powder creamer, so I didn’t add any.”
“Thanks.” He clutched the cup in his hands, showing no signs of drinking it.
Jane took the seat across from him and unwrapped her scarf. “I didn’t know Ivy had diabetes,” she said. “She never told me.”
“She never told anyone.” Henry took a slow sip of coffee. He made a face and set the cup down on the table beside his chair, pushing away magazines to make room.
Jane frowned. “Is it recent?”
“Not unless you call first grade recent,” Henry said, giving her a long look. “She wanted to keep it to herself, and I honored that wish. Until now.” His mouth thinned as he tented his elbows on his knees.
“I don’t think anyone heard me tell the paramedics. They asked us to clear the room but I stayed behind to relay what you told me.” Jane leaned across the narrow aisle and set her cup next to Henry’s. “Why didn’t she want anyone to know?”
Henry let out of a long breath. “Ivy and I had a rough time growing up. Our mother wasn’t the nurturing type, and everyone knew it. Sometimes we didn’t have anything to eat in the house but cereal, because she couldn’t be bothered to go to the store. Ivy hated the funny looks kids gave us at lunch when they saw what we brought. They knew we were different. She didn’t want to be different. Even something as common as her diabetes made her feel set apart, I guess. It was just one more thing.”
Jane tried to picture Ivy back then, not much older than Sophie was now, and felt her heart break a little. “That’s why you’re so protective of her,” she commented.
Henry scowled. “Not enough. I tried… I tried to get her to leave this town when I did. I thought she deserved a chance to start over, to live somewhere she could feel comfortable being herself, where she’d feel accepted and wouldn’t feel the need to… apologize for her past.”
“Ivy loves Briar Creek,” Jane pointed out.
“I know. I didn’t understand that back then, but I’m starting to now.”
“I thought you hated Briar Creek.” Knowing how hard his life here had been, she supposed she couldn’t blame him for wanting to leave.
Not that she particularly wanted him to stay…
“I wish Ivy had known she could trust us with the truth,” Jane said, shaking her head. “We wouldn’t have judged or thought anything of it. She has so many friends here.”
“Now she does, but growing up, she had Grace and I had—” He stopped himself as his eyes flickered to hers and away again.
Adam. Jane felt her heart drop into her stomach. His bond with Adam went deep. Much deeper than any relationship he’d had with her, kiss or no kiss.
“There was a lot of attention on our family, and it only got worse when we reached adolescence. It’s hard enough being a teenager without having to stop your mom from making her life harder than it already was.” He shook his head, his eyes narrowing. “I hated going to all those town events. Everyone sitting around, having a good time. How could I have a good time when my mother was making a scene, stirring up gossip and trouble?”
“Oh, Henry.” Jane tipped her head. “I didn’t know it was that bad.”
“That’s because you didn’t pay attention to the rumor mill. You didn’t hear all the things they said. The affairs with married men… the unpaid tabs at the pub… My father died before we were born. She was crushed. I don’t think she ever really recovered. She wasn’t strong like that.”
The pain in his eyes was deep, and Jane wanted to reach out, set a hand on his arm, pull him against her. But that wasn’t what Henry wanted, even if it was what he probably needed.
What Henry wanted was to be alone. To protect himself from painful memories, and the p
lace that held them.
And what she should do was let him go, not wish he’d stay.
Henry’s eyes strayed from hers and Jane looked over her shoulder to see a doctor in scrubs approaching them. “Are you here for Ivy Birch?”
Henry stood. “I’m her brother. How is she?”
“She’s stable but we’d like to keep her overnight for observation. You can see her now.” The doctor glanced at Jane. “We only allow one visitor at a time in the emergency room, but I can make an exception for your wife—”
Jane blanched and hurriedly said, “Oh. No. I’m…” What was she? Henry’s friend? His old friend? Or just some girl he’d kissed? “I’m Ivy’s friend,” she finished, and the color in her cheeks rose when she stole a glance at Henry, who was watching her with growing intensity.
“In that case, I do need to ask that you wait to see her once she’d been moved upstairs to a room. It shouldn’t be long.”
“I’ll give you time with her and check on her later,” Jane told Henry, smiling softly.
He hesitated, and for a moment Jane thought he might ask her to stay. Instead he said, “I’m sure Ivy would like that.”
Jane tried to ignore the pang of disappointment that swelled in her chest. She turned and began gathering her bag and the coffee cups, looking for a place to discard them. Always the mom, she thought wryly. Always tidying up, being responsible.
She stopped when she noticed Henry was still watching her.
“I won’t tell anyone,” she said, realizing the secret they now shared. “You can count on me.”
“I know I can,” he said gruffly, and then disappeared behind the swinging doors.
CHAPTER
26
With Sophie tucked into bed and the house quiet, Jane began her usual nighttime routine. She started with the kitchen, where she loaded the dishwasher and wiped down the table and counter, then moved to the family room, where she began gathering discarded toys into a basket. A few crayons had rolled under the coffee table, and she knelt to grab them before tucking them into their box. Sophie had helped with the effort before story time, but there was only so much one could expect from a five-year-old. Still, Jane couldn’t ever deny the swell of pride she felt when she watched Sophie straighten her coloring books, softly singing, “Clean-up time! It’s clean-up time!” in that sweet little voice.