by Nicky Shanks
She snorts through her tears. “You can’t promise that. You can’t predict the future.”
“Julie…” I pull her away so I can look directly into her eyes. “How many times do I have to tell you? No one will hurt you as long as I’m alive and with you. No one. I’ve let too many bad things happen to you and I’m done with that.”
“You didn’t do anything—”
I wipe the tears from her cheeks. “I’m supposed to protect you. That’s my job.”
She cuddles back into my chest and I hold her there as long as she wants me to. “What about our other loose ends? The new house and now the wedding?”
“Wedding? You still want to get married on New Year’s Day?” My heart skips a beat because I really, really want to fucking marry her. The moment I see her walking down that aisle toward me is going to be the best moment of my damn life. I’m not sure how goofy my smile is, but she laughs when she notices the look I’m giving her.
I honestly thought she would leave me after finding out about Lucy, but I hold onto the hope that someday we can look back on it and say it was another stepping stone to finding our happiness. I have to start making better decisions when it comes to her, or she’ll never go through with the wedding and our own happily ever after.
She nods. “Do you think that’s too soon?”
“Hell no, it’s not!” Excitement floods into my voice and I tip her chin up to kiss her. She wraps her lips around mine and together we melt into one. The room disappears, the apartment disappears. Every weird and bad thing that’s happened to us in the past six months disappears and all we can see are the endless possibilities with each other and our future.
“I can’t wait to marry you,” I whisper, watching her blush. “You know I’ve been waiting for this for a long time.”
She laughs and rolls her eyes. “A few weeks isn’t a long time.”
“No, I’ve wanted you to be mine since I first met you on the rainy street underneath the streetlight. I’ve dreamt about you and yearned for you in ways I never understood, and now that you’re here and you’re real…I feel like my life is finally complete. Like nothing is going to stop me from achieving my dreams or something, I don’t know. You make me feel powerful and worthy.”
“You are worthy.”
I shake my head. “Because of you. If I don’t have you, nothing else matters.”
“I feel the same way.” Her fingers twirl around in my thick, dirty hair. “You drive me crazy in more ways than one, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I keep coming back to you and at first, I didn’t understand why, but now…I keep coming back to you because you’re the one for me.”
My smile broadens. “Likewise, baby.”
She finishes her first beer and cracks open the second one. “So, we’ve settled the Lucy issue—”
“Have we? Lucy is still your friend, isn’t she? Does this change anything between you?”
When she swallows the mouthful of beer she’s just taken in, I notice that she’s thinking hard about my question. “That’s a really hard question. How can I forgive you but not her? She didn’t know me at the time, and I can tell she really regrets it. Plus, I know how much it stings when Oliver Jackson rejects you…it’s not a good feeling,” she jokes and winks at me. “Besides, we’re not all innocent in this family of ours, either. I hate to admit it, but I may have led Casey on at some point.”
Heat flushes down my cheeks and onto my neck. “Okay…explain.”
She hands me my second beer and finishes hers, and for the first time since we’ve met, I see a raw and real side to her. Julie’s legs aren’t as long as mine, but she relaxes onto the sofa and tries to put them onto the coffee table just the same. It’s cute how she tries to stretch her body to match mine, but she knows it’s a lost cause so she grunts and plants her feet on the floor.
“I don’t know, maybe. When you were in the hospital, we had a few moments where we connected, and I guess I let them go a little too far…you know, judging what happened.”
I snort and down the second beer before putting it on the table. “You did nothing wrong.”
“I’m not a saint, Oliver. I do the wrong things sometimes.”
I shake my head and swallow the liquid. “No, baby, trust me, you did nothing wrong. Casey has always been jealous of me and my life, although I’m not sure why. I haven’t had it as easy as people like to think I have. I had a rough start in my childhood and—even though yours was much worse—there was nothing to be jealous of. But, at least we knew where we came from and knew our parents no matter what kind of animals they turned out to be.”
She understands my point. “I wish Casey hadn’t turned out like that. He was a good friend to me.”
I pat her leg and she swings them onto mine. “He loves you, I know he does. I think he’s just too screwed up to process what that means to him. If he really loved you like I do, he wouldn’t ever put you in that kind of danger like bringing a gun and shooting someone. You know that, right? You know that you did nothing wrong?”
She slowly nods. “It’s going to take some time to really feel that, but I believe you.”
I lower my forehead to hers and smile. “Smart girl.”
“So, we’ve talked about Lucy and Casey and the wedding…” She bites the inside of her cheek and I want her so fucking bad right now my pants are suffocating the part that wants to reach out to her. “Anymore loose ends we need to tie up?”
I yawn so big that she giggles. “Moving into the new house?”
“I thought we could do that after the wedding; maybe we can move in but stay our first real night there the night of our wedding?”
I pull her body onto mine and she snuggles into my chest. This is my favorite thing that she does because I know she does it to feel safe and secure and that’s all I ever want to fucking give her. She can have everything of mine: my money, my heart, my soul, and my body. Everything.
“That’s a perfect idea. Where do you want to go on our honeymoon? I was thinking somewhere tropical with beaches and sun and private rooms right off the ocean.” I stroke her head and can feel her relax into me to start drifting off to sleep. I love how no matter what happens, she always bounces back and rolls with the punches.
Falling in love with a rule-hungry man.
Breaking all the rules just to be with him.
Following his rules to make him happy.
Having her heart broken several times by that man.
I start to drift off not long after she does because I know none of that matters to her.
I matter.
We matter.
Love matters.
There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right her with her, falling asleep on the sofa and listening to the silence of a dark Rockford night.
Dreams do come true.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Veronica
Jesus, everything hurts.
I can’t even breathe without searing pain shooting like rockets through my body. I want to scream my fucking lungs out, but the bright light that’s burning my eyes as I open them distracts me for a few seconds until I get used to it.
Someone’s snoring and it takes a few seconds to focus on everything around me. Machines surround me as I lie in an oversized bed with things stuck to me and sticking out of me. Across the room, another bed has been set up and Oliver sleeps soundly in it, wrapped in a blanket. His feet are poking out of the end of the blanket because his legs are too long for it, and it makes me smile.
I find the remote on the bed and slowly put myself into a sitting position. It hurts to do anything, but I get through the pain and breathe as shallowly as I can. The door to the room opens and Julie tiptoes inside with a few bags in her hands. She puts them down on the floor beside Oliver’s bed and bends over to brush the hair from his face and kiss his forehead.
She turns to check on me and gasps. “You’re awake!” she whispers, careful not to wake Oliver in a panic. “How long have you
been awake?”
“A few minutes,” I croak. “What are you two doing here?”
She sits on the edge of my bed and frowns. “We come and go, we visit whenever we can. How are you feeling?”
I’m so fucking confused as to why my son—who hates me—and his girlfriend—who I kidnapped for ransom—would be sitting in my hospital room fretting over when I’m going to wake up or if I’m going to be okay. None of this makes sense.
“Everything fucking hurts,” I tell her, and she laughs.
“Well, you did get shot and had to wait almost a month to wake up, so I’d assume you’d be in a little bit of pain there.” She laughs harder and snorts. “I’m sorry, I’m really tired.”
“Why aren’t you sleeping with him?” I nod over to Oliver.
She shrugs. “I can’t sleep here, it’s just something about this place that makes it too cold and creepy to sleep. He’s been here every night for the past week, though.”
“Why?” I sip through the straw of the cup she’s holding out and the lukewarm water feels fucking amazing in my throat. “I’m supposed to be out of town by now…why would he come and visit me?”
“You saved his life. We both owe you, and besides…” She puts the cup back down on the bedside table. “No matter how screwed up everything is, he knows you’re still his mother. What you did for him doesn’t erase everything, but it helps. Do you want me to wake him?”
I grunt and shift my weight. “No, let him sleep. I’d like to sit here and talk to you for a while, if that’s okay.”
She pulls up a chair to my bedside and plants herself in it. “Sure. What do you want to talk about? I really should tell a nurse that you’re awake.”
“Can you tell me what happened? I’m still a little fucking foggy and all I can remember is Casey shot a gun, and I stepped out in front of it so it wouldn’t hit Oliver.”
She nods. “Yes, and you had surgery because your lung was collapsed and it’s taken a little over a month to be able to breathe on your own. Oliver took care of everything—the surgery and this room—and it’s a week until Christmas now.”
“Holy shit, I’ve been out for a month and a half?” I panic and it hurts me inside. “And you’ve been coming here all this time?”
“For the past few weeks, yes, we have. We just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
For the first time in a long fucking time, I feel my cheeks flush and it travels all the way down my neck. I never in a million damn years thought this would happen; I especially never thought I would make it out of being shot alive.
“Oliver’s seen to it that you had the best doctors and everything you needed.”
I don’t know what she wants me to say.
“He’s been here day and night for the past three days…”
My lungs are already spent and I start to cough; it feels like zillions of needles are inside my body fighting over space and who gets to cut me the worst. “I don’t deserve any of that. You two should go home and not worry about me.”
Julie looks confused. “We wanted to help you after you sacrificed yourself—”
“—Well it’s the least I could’ve done, ain’t it?” I growl, and she looks startled. The sooner these two get far away from me, the better. I should’ve just hopped on a plane and been out of town before any of this happened.
Oliver stirs in his bed and the snoring stops. Julie glances nervously over at him and then back at me, warning me not to stir up shit and be grateful.
That’s the fucking problem.
I am grateful.
I’m also embarrassed and pissed off that my son had to save me.
“Julie?” Oliver says, stretching his long body. It takes him a few seconds to wake up and realize she’s across the room talking to me. He leaps up and rubs his eyes to make sure he’s not dreaming. “You’re awake? Did you call a nurse? How do you feel? Can you breathe? Are you in a lot of pain?” He reaches me and frets but doesn’t take my hand or hug me.
I’ll take what I can get.
Julie looks at me and clears her throat; the horror in her eyes is going to tip him off. “I’ll go grab a nurse; I think they already changed shifts this morning.”
Oliver nods to her and she leaves the room. “Do you need anything?”
“Yeah, I need you to take Julie and go home. You don’t have to be here.” I try to look him in the eyes, but I can’t. “I don’t need you here taking care of me and I sure don’t deserve it.”
He pulls up a chair to sit next to me and crosses his arms over his chest. “Hold on, let’s just pretend you didn’t fucking say that to me. I get it, you don’t think you deserve my help, but for this…you do. You saved me and I have to repay you.”
“Julie is forcing you to help me, you mean.”
He laughs and rubs his jawline. For a split second it feels like I’m sitting here with his father because of how similar they are. “Let’s just get one thing straight: Julie doesn’t force me to do anything. She isn’t going to let me leave you alone in here, either, so get over it. We’re here and we’re going to be here until you’re better enough to leave.”
“I don’t want you here.”
He growls and takes a deep breath. “Way to be inconsiderate. Julie isn’t going to leave until you’re better, and even then she’s going to want to tend to you, so just suck it up. You obviously wanted to be part of our lives or you wouldn’t have jumped in front of that bullet. Which, thanks for that, by the way.”
The way he says thank you makes us both uncomfortable. “You’re my son, of course I’m not going to let someone fucking shoot you.” I scoff. “Not even your ungrateful brother.”
He leans back in his chair and relaxes. “Yeah, let’s talk about that. Who is Casey’s father?”
“You share a father too,” I blurt out, because there’s no use in pretending anymore. Keeping this secret and following the rules didn’t get me very far, so what else is there now than to tell the truth? “When you were two, your father and I were together again and I never told him about Casey. I told him I was visiting my mother when I gave birth to him, and then Mac and I dropped him off on a firehouse doorstep. I was never really sure where he ended up after that.”
He clicks his tongue. “So, we share a father now too. Does he know that?”
I’m a little taken aback that he isn’t judging me on my decisions back then. Normally when people hear about the choices I make, they pity me and look at me like trash. But Oliver just keeps the conversation moving on like it doesn’t faze him at all…just like his father.
“He knows…I’m sure he knows.”
Julie comes back into the room with a nurse and looks at both of us to make sure we aren’t arguing before she subjects an innocent outsider to it. The nurse hurries toward me and starts checking all of the machines while Oliver pulls Julie aside and starts whispering. The conversation gets intense before the nurse is done and speaks to them in private before leaving the room.
“She said your vitals look good. You’ve been breathing on your own for a week or so, but they’ve kept you in a coma so you can get stronger.” Oliver shoves his hands into his jeans pockets as they walk back next to me. “She even thinks you’ll be released in time for the wedding.”
Julie squeals and tucks herself beneath his awaiting arm. I can’t help but smile, and for once it doesn’t feel wrong to be proud of something my son is doing. I know I have a long fucking road before I deserve any of this, but I’m taking what I can get—when I can get it.
“Wedding? You two are getting married?” My eyes dart between them. “When?”
“New Year’s Day,” Julie says. “In the garden of our new house.”
I hum a little and let the information seep in. I’m trying my fucking hardest to be motherly and give him what he obviously desperately wants. “You don’t have to wait for me to be outta here to get married—you live your lives how you want.”
Oliver swallows loudly. “Listen, why don’t we
wait until you’re better to talk about this, hmm? We have a long time before I can fully trust you, but I’m willing to try if you are.”
“I want that.” My mouth moves uncontrollably. “I’m ready for that.”
“But there are rules.”
Julie looks sickened but stands her ground. “We have rules and conditions if you want to be part of our lives. If you accept them, we will be holding you to a high standard. If you mess up once, we’re done. We’re only going to try once.”
I hang my head no matter how much it fucking hurts. “Honey, I tried to kidnap you. How can you forgive me for somethin’ like that?”
“I haven’t forgiven you for that.” Her eyes find mine. “But Oliver and I have agreed that we’re cutting off the past and creating a new future. Do you want to be a part of that?”
I nod. “I’ve wanted that for a long time.”
“Then act like it,” Oliver chimes back in. “Are you sure you’re up to talking about this now?”
“I want to know everything.”
He nods and sits down in the chair while Julie rests on the arm next to him. “Okay, so obviously you can’t ever fucking talk to or see Mac again in your life.” He rubs his jaw and turns to me. I shiver underneath his fierce gaze just like I did when Colin gave me that penetrating look. “And no drugs. Ever. Period. Not even weed, not even anything. Got it?”
“Got it. Anything else?”
“I’m going to hire you as a waitress at the bar I’m opening, can you handle that? You need a job once you’re better and able to move around enough.”
I crinkle my nose. “I thought you wanted me to move away and never come back? What happened to that?”
“That was before you saved my life in front of Julie. Make no mistake, if it wasn’t for her…we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I can’t let her down and be the man I was before, so I’m being the man I want to be when I’m with her. And I want to help you.”
A tear forms in Julie’s eye and she looks away to the wall. It’s charming when you see them together, how they interact like a ballet. When he moves, she moves. He looks at her with hungry eyes and doesn’t care that the world can plainly see his love for her.