It's a start.
Chapter 6
Lexi
"Fuck you, Noah!" I say pulling away from him, my voice threatening to break just the way my will did in his arms. "I hate you!"
He releases me and I step back, out of his reach. He looks like I just slapped him across the face. Good. I need some way to counter what he just did to me, some way to slow down my racing heart, and excuse my trembling hands.
"Lexi . . ."
"I'm sorry you're not here with Cooper. I'm sorry I screwed things up with that girl. Next time I'll keep my distance."
"No." He reaches his hand up toward my face. I'm guessing it's to brush away the hair that's fallen into my eyes, but I won't let him touch me. I swat him away.
"I'm not your consolation prize."
"Consolation prize? How can you say that?"
"Don't play your stupid games with me."
"Give me a chance, Lexi. I'm not the guy you think I am."
"Oh yeah? Tell me, the last girl you fucked, how long were you going out with her?"
His eyes dart to the side, as his lips press together in a thin line. "That's not fair."
"That's what I thought."
The air seeps out of my lungs. As much as I know he's an ass, there's a part of me, a small hope-filled part he woke, that wants to be wrong about him. The problem is, once again, he just proved I'm not.
I take a few steps toward the house and realize I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I get there. Maybe I should pack my shit up and leave. Not even twenty four hours have passed since I got here and it feels like every minute has revolved around Noah. I can't have a full week of this. I don't think I can make it even two days because if I let him under my skin or into my heart, I'll further betray the fat girl inside me. The girl I've been starving and trying to kill off because she repulsed Noah York.
"Lexi." He's next to me, matching my strides. "Give me a chance."
"No."
"I don't understand. You kissed me in the bar, you started it."
"This isn't the schoolyard, ass-wipe."
We're close to the house. Once we get there, I can run in my room and lock the door. I just need to be strong and hold steadfast a little longer.
"There's something between us, Lexi." He grabs my arm and stops me. "I felt it from the minute I saw you out on the beach this morning. There's something pulling me to you. I know you feel it, too. You owe it to yourself to find out what it is."
I ignore the tingling of my skin beneath his hand, the tumbling of my belly, and the passion that shot through my body when he kissed me. I ignore it all because it's dangerous not to; because I'm afraid getting too close to Noah will be lethal to my heart and I can't chance it.
"The only thing I owe myself is a good night's sleep. Goodnight, party boy."
I force one foot in front of the other over and over. I don't stop because I know if I do I won't find this strength to walk away again. I just keep pushing forward. I keep moving ahead. I don't have to look back to know he's not following me. I feel it from the chill in the air.
I don't allow the let down to settle over me, not yet. I hoped, I wished he'd know enough, care enough to follow me. That he'd do anything he could not to let me go. More than anything right now, I want Noah to sweep me up into his arms, lay me on his bed and make love to me. But it will never happen. It can't ever happen. I'll keep pushing him away, and he'll never hang around long enough to fight for me. He'll always go off and look for a convenient fuck. One with no strings or commitments, because he's a player at heart, always thinking with the wrong head.
*
Back at the house, I can't help myself from looking out the window. I'm guessing he went back to the bar, picked up where he left off with the blonde. My heart skips a beat; a little, tiny beat as I see him on the beach walking towards the water. I hate that I'm relieved he's alone. I'm going to lose it in a big way if he brings a girl back here. That's the real reason I kissed him.
I didn't want to lie in bed listening to the sounds of him fucking her. I have no doubt he'd work her over so that she'd be moaning and shouting his name. I'm sure the furniture here is crappy and cheap. The last sound I need to hear before I close my eyes tonight is the screeching of bed springs.
When my brother asked if I'd be interested in spending a week on the beach I jumped at the chance. Not because I love the beach so much, but because of Noah. Somehow I saw it as vindication. Proof to myself that I'd grown up and left my insecurities behind. Proof that a random jackass would never hurt me, never make me feel like I wasn't good enough for him. I thought I could pull it off, but I'm realizing that I can't. Because for every bit of me that hates him, there's another two that wants him.
I pull my phone from my pocket, staring at his silhouette on the beach, and call my best friend Allie.
"Are you having fun yet?" she asks.
"Remind me again why I'm here."
"You're there to have the time of your life while putting that prick in his place."
"I can't do this, Allie. I'm not strong enough."
"Yes, you are. You're one of the strongest people I know."
"This was a dumb idea." I sniffle and close my eyes, pulling myself back together.
"Lexie, what happened? Did he say something to hurt you?"
I shake my head like she could see me. "No. He's been," I search for words as I run my finger along the edge of the window. "He's been infuriatingly sweet. Polite. A perfect gentleman, offering to help me with my bags and to make me pancakes."
"This is Noah, right? The same jerk you've been avoiding every time you and Cooper are home together for the holidays."
I have a funny tightening in my chest as she says his name. This is bad. No, it's beyond bad, it's downright terrifying. "He kissed me." I'm embarrassed to admit I kissed him first. I can't tell anyone that, not even my best friend.
"He did?" I could hear her mouth hit the floor. "How? When? Was it good?"
"It's a long story, but it happened a little while ago. And Allie, it was the best kiss of my life. I swear I wanted to take my clothes off and fuck him right then and there." I close my eyes, and touch my free hand to my lips reliving the moment. I bring back to mind the details of how warm and strong his arms felt wrapped around me.
"Do you think you will?"
"What? Fuck him? Are you kidding me? You know how I feel about Noah. All I want is to forget it, forget him." I swallow hard.
"Lexi, don't take this the wrong way, you know I love you, but maybe you need to get your head out of the past? Maybe at the time, his raging hormones turned his brain to mush the way they do with most teenage boys, but a lot of time has passed since then. Maybe he's changed? And maybe the reason you're so upset right now is because you know if this is your first night together and you already kissed, you're going to give in to him."
"Thanks for nothing."
"I'm just telling you like it is, because I love you. And you wouldn't want me any other way."
I hang up with my friend annoyed with her, more annoyed because she's right. Satisfied that Noah's alone for the night, I pull my gaze off him and head up to my room.
Chapter 7
Noah
I can't get comfortable in bed. I toss and turn. Really what I want is to smash through Lexi's door, climb on top of her and pick up where we left off. I can't get her out of my head.
She's like a wand of cotton candy at an amusement park. A rare treat, sweet from the abundance of spun sugar used to make it. Dressed up to be appetizing with pretty colors. Soft, and delicate to the touch. You can pull off pieces and devour the decadent treat, but tiny, sticky bits you can't see cling to you, stick to your skin long after you're done.
Dangerous. Eating too much at one time, or having some every day over a long period of time will make you sick, eat away at your teeth and heart. She's every bit as delicious and delectable as the carnival delicacy. And just like a five year old forced to pass it by without even a lit
tle taste, I'm ready to pound my feet and throw a tantrum.
She hates me. No¸ she thinks she hates me. Or does she want to hate me because she wants me as bad as I want her? I think of how good she felt in my arms. She fit my body like a well-fitted glove. She felt how a piece of perfection would feel if you could see and touch such a thing. Like a missing piece of myself that's been cut off and hidden away.
She's driving me fucking crazy. I can't figure her out. One minute she kisses me like I'm the only guy on the planet, the next she's using her words to slice me open. But those few seconds that she gave herself over to me, set me on fire. I close my eyes and think about her pressed up against me, her hips, her lips, her tits.
Fuck.
I don't know what happened, what got in her head and spooked her. I want to email Cooper and ask what the fuck is going on? He has to know what's up her ass. But that'll raise a flag and I'm not sure I want to do that just yet. He's my best friend, but there's got to be a reason he trashed me to his sister.
I'm hyper-aware of the fact we're sleeping under the same roof. I use sleep lightly. There's no sleep happening in my room. I wonder what's going on in hers. Is she asleep? Or is she lying awake in the dark thinking of me? Is she wearing pajamas or does she sleep in the nude?
I listen to the crickets sing as I think of all the things I don't know about Lexi. I don't know anything about her anymore. Not what she does for a living, or where she lives. I don't know if there's someone special in her life. I have to think there isn't. If there was, wouldn't he be here with her? What if there is and he couldn't make it here yet? What if he's going to meet her here and I have to see them together? Hear them in bed?
The thought of another guy touching her bothers me. No it seriously fucking disturbs me. I reach for my phone and look back at the email she sent. She warned me to keep any girls I brought here dressed unless in my room with the door closed and she'd do the same with her guys. Definitely no-one special. That question's answered. But she intends on hooking up with guys and bringing them back here.
I can't let that happen. I have to show her that I'm not who she thinks I am. I'm not looking to fuck her and move on. Although, I don't know what more we could have. I'm not a good relationship guy. Most of the girls I dated over the years dumped me because I didn't seem interested enough in what they did with their life when we weren't together. But, Lexi, she's Cooper's sister, which means I can't touch her unless she's different.
She is different. I've known her for years. There has to be some foundation of friendship between us, even if it is buried under some hard feelings at the moment. But why? She's a puzzle I can't solve, and she doesn't want to give me the chance to move the pieces around to try and fit them together.
Tomorrow is a new day. Whether sleep comes or not, tomorrow morning I'll start operation 'tear down walls.' I'll turn myself into a wand of cotton candy, sweet and sticky, just like her. I'll infiltrate her mind and possess her thoughts. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but tomorrow it's on.
*
I open my eyes to the morning light sneaking into my room through the slats in the blinds. The room's bright. I can't tell if it's six in the morning or twelve in the afternoon. All I know is it's a new day.
My thoughts race to Lexi. I listen to the silence of the house. She's either still sleeping, or out. After pulling on a pair of shorts I grab a tee shirt, but think better of it. I can get a better read on what's going through her mind when she looks at me if I do it without a shirt on.
Once downstairs I look out the window. She's doing yoga on the beach again. I want to go out and watch her close up. I don't. Instead I remain glued to the spot I'm standing in for several minutes. When I finally pull myself away, I look around the kitchen for a sign that she ate breakfast. Finding none, I take out a skillet, and the bacon, eggs and asparagus I bought yesterday. I know the saying is the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but maybe a nice breakfast will endear me just a bit in hers.
Fifteen minutes later, I hear the sliding glass door open. Red faced, all traces of make-up from the previous night are gone. Her hair's swept up in a ponytail, away from her sweat dampened skin. I try to keep my eyes up, above the neckline because her shirt is clinging to her and I don't want her to think I can't have a conversation with a girl without staring at her tits. If it's possible she looks even sexier now than she did last night.
"You're up early." I greet her with a smile and a cold bottle of water. I toss the bottle at her knowing she'll react and catch it, taking away her ability to decline it. She reaches her hands out for it just as I thought she would.
"Thanks," she says twisting the cap off. Her eyes go straight to my chest. They move up and down my body taking me all in, before finding my eyes again. Bingo!
"I hope you're hungry. I've been hard at work in here."
"What?" She shakes her head like she's pulling herself out of a trance, "I mean no."
"Too bad. You won't enjoy it as much as you would if you were ravenous."
"What are you talking about? I'm not going to eat if I'm not hungry," she snaps.
Now she's pissing me off. She wants to think of me as the cocky party boy, then that's what I'll give her.
"You don't get a say." I move closer to her, doing my best to keep all emotion out of my eyes and off my face. "I bought the food, I cooked it, I say who eats it."
"Bossy, aren't you? If this is the way you talk to girls. I really can't understand what they see in you."
"Really, Lexi?" I close in on her so that we're almost touching. So close that if she stands straight and fills her chest with a deep breath her tits will touch my chest. So close, she won't look at me. Instead her eyes are off to the side. I crook my finger under her chin and tilt her face up. "I think you know exactly what girls see in me." I challenge. "But, if you still can't see it, maybe you should take a moment to feel it." I reach for her hand.
Fear flashes in her eyes as Lexi backs up and yanks her hand out of my reach. Her hands flail out at her sides as she stumbles back and falls into a kitchen chair. I allow her to straighten herself up and gather her bearings before I bend down and bring my face to hers.
"I've had enough of your smart mouth." Holding on to the chair, with a hand just above each of her shoulders, I cage her in.
"Oh yeah, what are you going to do about it?"
The tremble of her lip is the telltale of her uncertainty.
I bring my face closer, allowing my lips to brush ever so slightly against hers. This kiss is calculated. It's meant to tease, to threaten, to awaken something inside her, any bit of affection she might have for me.
"I suggest you at least try the food, before I'm forced to feed it to you."
"Now, Noah. Do you really expect me to believe that you'd waste your time feeding me?" She asks in a condescending tone looking amused.
I push her chair all the way into the table, and pull another chair over so that I'm right up against her. "Are you kidding?"
I use the fork to cut off and stab a small piece of the omelet, and bring it to her lips. I wait for her to accept what I'm offering before I continue speaking. Once she chews the food, I bring my mouth to her ear, because I'm not sure I could pull this off if I'm looking into those big green eyes.
"Having this close up view as I watch you open your mouth over and over again so I can put something in it, that's time well spent, if you ask me."
I'm on guard, half expecting her to slap me across the face. I wouldn't blame her. I never spoke to her this way. I play it off, acting like this is as natural for me as breathing while I break off another piece of the omelet.
I meet her stare again, and to my surprise, she doesn't look angry or annoyed. She has a playful glint in her eye. She opens her mouth wide, her eyes never leaving mine, until she reaches for my hand, and helps guide the fork deep into her mouth, sealing her lips around it, and then closing her eyes.
"Mmmm." Slowly she pulls the fork out, and offers me a mi
schievous smile.
I can't move. She just upped her game. All I can think of is seeing that look of pleasure on her face with her lips wrapped around my cock.
"See, you just had to give it a chance," I say as I get up and move over to the sink. I turn away from her because I don't want her to see what she just did to me; how she unraveled me.
I take a deep breath. What the fuck am I doing?
Chapter 8
Lexi
I succeeded, sort of. I managed to scare Noah York off. Again. He's standing at the sink with his back to me, hands on the counter, and his finger tapping away. He started it. He insinuated he wanted to put something in my mouth. I just played along. For a moment, I thought what if? What if the chemistry bubbling up between us is real? What if there could be something more between us? Clearly the thought disgusted him because he can't bring himself to look at me. Jackass.
"Noah." Part of me hopes he doesn't turn around, because I'm not sure what I'm going to say to him. Sorry? Go to hell?
He does turn. Chest heaving. Eyes smoldering. Holy shit, did I do that?
"I'm sorry."
"Don't." He shakes his head, eyes locked on mine. "I'm glad you're enjoying the-- omelet."
"Maybe I was wrong." I let my eyes study the image of his perfectly chiseled chest and abs. I wish my eyes weren't the only things being dragged across his hard body. "I should've given it a chance before I said no."
We both know neither of us is talking about the breakfast he surprised me with.
My phone rings, and I'm relieved to have a distraction because the air between us is heavy and thick. And there's something else, something that's making my heart race and turning my brain into mush. Whatever it is, it's the same something that was going on when he kissed me on the beach last night, and it's terrifying. I'm so anxious to lose myself in this distraction, any distraction, that I don't check to see who's calling before I answer.
Man Up Party Boy Page 3