"I hate you, Noah. Do you know that? I fucking hate you!" The secret's out. She knows I rigged her hair dryer. "You're childish and immature . . ."
I lean against the doorframe of the bathroom with my arms folded across my chest listening to her rant as I take in her pale, pasty appearance. Baby powder covers the side of her face and hair. There's a foggy mist clouding the tiny room. I'd enjoy my revenge so much more if she had clothes on instead of the flimsy bath towel that's barely covering her. I know that's the only thing between me and her naked body; it's all I can think about.
"Did you hear a word I said?"
"Because turning my skin blue is the pinnacle of maturity."
"I have to take another shower. Do you realize that? I'm not even sure this will come out. And Drake will be here any minute."
I shake my head. "You don't have to worry about him, He just left."
"What? Why? Because I wasn't ready?"
"Something like that."
"Did he say when he'd be back?"
"He's not coming back"
Her eyes leave mine and run over my body. It's as if she didn't actually see what I looked like until right this moment. Instead of seeing red, hot desire burn in her eyes, she looks horrified.
"What did you do?"
My lips curl up into a satisfied grin. "Nothing."
"You answered the door like that?"
My smirk grows into a smile.
"You answering the door is bad enough, but come on, Noah. Your pants aren't even closed. They're barely even on."
I shrug, as if it's no big deal.
"He's going to think we're sleeping together."
I take a step closer to her, curious to see her reaction. "Trust me, our sleeping arrangement was the last thing on his mind."
"You had no right."
I move further into the room, positioning myself so that I'm standing in front of her, leaning against the counter housing the sink. She takes a tiny step back.
"I told you I wanted to talk. Now you have no excuse. Besides, you knew he was coming. If it meant that much you would've been ready. Maybe you wanted Drake and me to come face to face."
"Why would I want that?"
"I don't know? To see if any fireworks took off?"
I reach out and swipe a bit of powder off her lips with my thumb. I'm struck with the memory of her lips on mine; how soft, how sweet they were. I want to cover her mouth and demand she succumb to me the way she did on the beach. I imagine backing her into the wall, lifting her up and wrapping her legs around my waist. It would be so easy to press my hardening cock against her opening so she can feel it, so she can know what she does to me. I want to give in to the urge I have to yank the towel off her and run my hands over her silky skin. They yearn to explore her body, touch her in ways that will make her blush. I fight the need to take her right here and now; to lift her up and fuck her until she screams my name so loud every person on the boardwalk, including the fucktard Drake, will hear it.
I'm about to bring my mouth to hers and start acting out every scenario running through my head, when I see a tear fall from her eye. Just that tiny drop of salty wetness extinguishes the heat surging through my veins. I feel like I've been submerged in a pool of ice. I meet her eyes for a clue as to what she's thinking. They're watery and scared. She looks frightened, and it wrings my heart.
I don't understand what went wrong? What did I do? I brush the streak of wetness off her cheek with my thumb, and back myself away, out of the bathroom.
*
I need to get out, to get away from Lexi. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore. I thought she wanted me. I've seen it in her eyes, and in the moments she allowed herself to be vulnerable. Or is it that I want her so bad I'll convince myself I saw something I didn't? I hear the shower water running. I don't bother telling her I'm leaving. I don't know if it would upset or console her.
I return an hour later with food, a veggie pizza and a Caesar salad. I knock at her door. I hear her in there, but she doesn't respond.
"I know your dinner was ruined, so I bought you some food."
I sit on the couch with a bottle of vodka and down shots while waiting for her to join me. She never comes down. Once again I want to kill Cooper. This is really turning out to be some fucking vacation. Disgusted, I turn in early. Tomorrow I start over. Tomorrow I focus on me and doing stuff I want to do. Tonight I leave Lexi and her baggage of shit behind. I tried to be nice, I extended the hand of friendship to her, but she shot me down every step of the way. She's too fucking erratic- running hot and cold every other minute. I've fucking had it with her.
"The sooner I end this shit day the sooner tomorrow starts."
I get up off the couch and head to my room. I'm not tired, but I want to sleep off the memory of Lexi. I'm grateful for the private bathroom. This way I don't have to worry about passing her in the hall. It means I could avoid her altogether if I choose to. I step in front of the bowl to whiz, cursing her under my breath when I feel a warm wetness envelope my feet.
"FUCKING BITCH!"
She covered the bowl with cellophane. I fucking had it with her. I drop two towels on the floor to clean up the mess, and turn the shower on. Before I jump in, I take off for her room. The door is closed. I turn the knob to find it's locked. Great.
"Open this damn door Alexis, or I swear I'll break it down."
"You wouldn't. You'd have to pay to replace it."
"What do you think the security deposit was for? Go ahead and try me." I give the door a kick to see how strong it is. It's nothing. A piece of cheap plastic. One good swift kick is all I'll need.
The door opens. "What's your problem?" she asks, hand on her hip.
I don't bother answering. I lift her up and throw her over my shoulder.
"What are you doing?" she screeches. "Come on, party boy. Put me down."
I slap my hand over her firm ass. I like the loud sound it makes. It feels good. Too good. I want to do it again and again, but I don't. She punches at my back. It barely registers. I'm too focused on what I'm doing. She pushed me too far, and now I intend on taking her right over the fucking cliff with me.
"Put me down!" she yells again as we walk into my bedroom.
"Shut up," I snap heading straight for the bathroom.
"Stop!"
"I'll stop alright." I open the door to the shower stall and carry her in with me.
"Noah!"
I pull the door closed and settle her down on her feet under the cascading flow of water.
"My clothes, you stupid, jerk . . ." She hits my chest, and once again I don't feel it. I'm solely focused on her. On the way her wavy, dark hair and lips look in the water.
My hands hold her head just behind her ears, and pull her toward me until I crush my mouth against hers. With our lips sealed, I back her up against the wall just the way I wanted to earlier in the night. I let one hand slide down her neck, straight down to her breast. I cup the firm, round mound, squeezing it, kneading it. Her fingers pull at my hair, while I kiss her neck and she moans my name.
I want to see her. I pull back enough to see the need in her eyes, the longing on her face. Droplets of water settle on her lips. I feel myself shake with need as I kiss them away. After another breathtaking kiss, I look at her again. This time I allow my eyes to drop. The water causes her white shirt to pull against her tits, clinging to her. At this moment I don't care if she does think I'm a pervert, I can't pull my eyes away. Her nipples are standing at attention, and the brown area surrounding them is pebbled. She wants me as much as I want her. I meet her mouth again, hard. I want to own her with this kiss. I want it to claim her; break her will to walk away from me again.
I take her nipple between my fingers and roll and pinch it. I continue playing with one, while I clasp my teeth over the other. Taking my time teasing her through the wet material of her shirt, I glance up and find her head leaning back against the tile. When I've had my fill for the moment I straighten back u
p. Her hands run the length of my spine as she looks me over. I follow her gaze, down my chest, all the way down to my harder than steel cock. Her eyes meet mine again, and there it is, hesitation. Fear.
"Noah?" She says my name like it's a question, and I realize what I did. I took this too far. I fucked up any shot I might have had with her, and probably lost my best friend all in one stupid, thoughtless, passion filled moment. I knew from her reaction before she didn't want me. But she does damn it. Even if she can't admit it to herself, I know she wants me.
I don't say anything, as I step out of the shower. I grab a towel from the closet and run it over my body fast and furious, as if the house is on fire, and I need to escape; which is exactly how I feel. She shuts the water and opens the shower door. I toss the towel to her and rush out of the bathroom; out of the house. In nothing but my soaking wet boxers, I head for the beach.
Chapter 12
Lexi
That piece of shit! How can he walk away like that? Did I disgust him that much when I was fat that even now the thought of being attracted to me repulses him? I take a moment to dry off before following after Noah. I call out, but there's no response. I go down the steps, and see him through the window, standing on the beach, his arms behind his head, staring out into the waves.
I give him a few minutes, but he doesn't move. It's like he's frozen out there.
"Hey, party boy."
"Don't call me that." Noah, turns to me, his eyes look pained, his chest heaving. "That's not who I am, Lexi."
I shrug. "It doesn't really matter."
"Yes, it does. I need you to know that." He closes his eyes. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened in there. I was way out of line."
"It's no big deal."
"Yes, Alexis. It is." He uses my full name, and it sounds beautiful coming off his lips. I wish he'd say it again. "It's a huge deal. I didn't mean to . . ."
"I disagree. You meant to." I step closer, and poke my pointer finger into his chest. I'm not going to let him off the hook with 'I didn't mean to,' or 'it was a mistake.' "You meant every touch. Every kiss. Look, we're alone together, and for the moment you were attracted to me."
"It wasn't a moment."
"I know it doesn't mean anything, that I'm not the type of girl you want to be with."
"You know shit about the type of girl I want to be with."
"I had a pretty good view at the bar the other night. Look, it happened. Get over it. You don't have to stay alone out here because you're embarrassed or ashamed."
His eyes narrow as he focuses them on me. "That's what you think? That I'm embarrassed and ashamed of wanting you?"
I nod.
"Why?"
"Because you find me repulsive and disgusting."
He steps toward me, cups my face in his hands, and looks at me like no one else ever has. Like I'm a precious treasure. He shakes his head as if he can't believe what I just said. "No. God, no."
I feel myself drowning in the intensity of those blue/green eyes. "Maybe not now, but when I was young and fat." I can't bear to look at him.
He touches his lips to mine swiping his tongue over my bottom lip slow and tender, as if I'm delicate and might break if he kisses me too hard. "You were never fat."
I back up. "Maybe you see things different now, but I heard what you said to my brother about me."
His hands drop and wrap around my waist, pulling me against him.
"I never said that." He brushes my hair away from my face. "You were always a cutie. The only thing I ever told Coop about you, was that he better invest in a lot of baseball bats because that was the only way he was going to keep the boys away."
"I know what I heard."
"Then you heard wrong."
Noah sounds sincere, and I want to believe him. More than I want oxygen to breathe, I want to trust in what he says, fall into his arms, and spend the rest of my life there.
"It was a shock to hear because up until that moment I thought you were the nicest guy in the world, so I asked Cooper who you were talking about. He said me. Why would he lie?"
"I don't know. For the same fucking reason he lied about me being the one who wanted to party all the time I guess.
"Then why are you out here? Why did you run away?"
With one hand still around my waist, Noah smoothes my hair and pulls my head against his chest. "Lexi, you've got me twisted in knots. I don't know what to do anymore. You kiss me, and it's like I'm the only one that exists, but then you're running your mouth talking shit to me. One minute you act like you want me, the next you're looking to hook up with another guy. You shock me with your antics. You infuriate me to the point I want to take you over my knee. Most of all, every minute we're together feels like I'm in the middle of a wet fucking dream, and what it all comes down to is I just can't get enough of you."
His words aren't eloquent. They aren't dressed up like a bouquet of sweet smelling flowers, and if they came from anyone else, I might be insulted. But, the words spill out of Noah's mouth like they live on the tip of his tongue, and they're beautiful. They're real. I know, because I feel the emotion behind them.
"I want you, Noah. I'm so scared because I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone."
"In case you're blind and have lost all feeling in your lower body, you know I want you, too."
"That's what's scaring the shit out of me. All these years I've thought about you one way, and being with you, you don't seem to be what I believed at all."
"Because I'm not."
My teeth chatter, and I'm not sure if it's because my shirt is still soaked, or because of my nerves."
"It's so easy to want more with you." I pause, and he doesn't speak. "What's happening between us?"
His hand comes off my waist and rubs across his forehead. "See, that's the part that confuses me. I don't know. I know that I'm falling hard for you."
I swallow the lump of emotion stuck in my throat. My stomach clenches at the thought of what I'm about to say. "This may come as a surprise, but I had a mad crush on you as a teenager."
"You did? I had no idea."
I shrug it off. "And then I heard you talking to Cooper and I've hated you ever since. Hated you with a passion. Maybe the passion part is the problem. Hate is such a strong emotion, everyone says it's a hair away from love. I've always swung to such polar opposites with you. You've been so wonderful these last few days. I'm afraid my feelings are crossing over to the other end of the spectrum and if I let myself, I might actually fall in love with you."
He looks away.
"What? I practically poured my heart out to you and you're looking away as if you can't handle the thought of you and me . . ."
He kisses me. Another deep, demanding kiss, where his tongue forces its way between my lips and into my mouth. It's all I can do to let him in, meet his fervor with my own. This kiss sucks the oxygen from my lungs, and I think I'm going to go limp in his arms.
When he pulls away, after what feels like the greatest minutes of my life. He rests his forehead against mine. "I'm nervous, Lexi. Hell I'm all out scared. I've never felt this way before, and there's so much at stake. I won't lie to you. If we take the next step, I'm not sure what's going to happen. I don't know that we'll have a happy ending, I can't promise that. But I do know it's going to push my relationship with your brother to the brink. I do know that I care about what happens to you, and if it goes bad, I lose you and Cooper. I'm not sure I want to risk . . ."
I press my finger over his lips to shut him up.
"Cooper isn't here. He doesn't have to know anything. If things don't work out, we just walk away at the end of this. It's that simple. We leave here and I promise I won't ever tell him what happened between us."
"I don't want you to lie to your brother."
"He doesn't own me, Noah. I'm not his property. And he doesn't get a say in who I fuck."
He looks into my eyes, his stare burning, piercing. "Is that what you want?" he whispers. "For me to f
uck you?"
I nod, and shiver in the night air as tiny bumps rise to the surface and cover my skin.
He shakes his head. "I'm not going to fuck you. I'm going to fucking worship you."
*
"I'm going to convince you how amazing I think your body is," Noah's voice is low, raw.
We're standing in front of the bed in his room, our wet clothes are now damp and a lot less clingy than they were half an hour ago. His mouth is on my neck. He found my spot. The spot. His lips and tongue brushing against my skin right here, act like a switch, lighting me up and turning me on.
The heat from his hooded eyes is intense and threatening. With just a look, he's telling me he's in control and challenging me to be right here with him in the moment. I hope I don't disappoint. It's not something I'm good at. When someone touches me or looks at me with my clothes off, the last thing I am is relaxed. But this is different because it's Noah and I want him to look at me just the way he is right now, with fire in his eyes mixed with all-out need.
His hands on my shoulders guide me down to the edge of the bed. Holding the hem of my shirt, he lifts it over my head and tosses it to floor, leaving me in nothing put a pair of white lacy panties. His eyes soak me in, study me, his gaze is so strong, I feel it's grip on me, caressing me, urging me closer to him.
"Breathtaking," he says before dropping to his knees in front of me.
Embarrassed, and too nervous to meet his stare, I look away.
"Look at me, Lexi," he whispers as his mouth meets my belly and tastes the area above my belly button. "I want you to see how much I enjoy looking at you and touching you."
My pulse is racing. I'm trembling with need. With each passing second it's growing stronger inside me; the need to touch him and kiss him, the need for his body to put demands on mine. I feel it between my legs in a way I never have before. I'm aching for him to take the next step, to do something more than tease me with his looks. I need to feel him deep inside me, so that all of him touches every part of my body, inside and out.
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