by K.N. Lee
I kept my head down as I walked, on the off-chance someone made eye contact and recognized me. My plan seemed to work. No one tried to stop me as I wound my way toward the west gate. If I was going to get out of town, the west gate was my best chance. There was a new recruit on duty. A new recruit was less likely to know my face.
I fell into step beside a man carrying a basket of goods on his shoulder. His bulk hid me from direct view of the guard.
My heart began to race as I approached the gate.
This was it.
I was so close.
Just a few more steps.
The path bottlenecked as we approached the gate. I was delighted to find myself surrounded on all sides by people who looked quite a bit like me. I was almost out!
The collar of the cloak tugged at my throat as someone behind me stepped on it.
I gasped as the cloak temporarily strangled me. With my hands tugging at the cloth around my throat, the cloak flapped open to reveal my very noticeable deep-green dress.
“Miss Delaroe?” the guard asked.
Oh no.
The guard squinted at me as I attempted to slouch lower, hiding behind the elbow of the man who stood between us. But the man noticed me and stepped out of the way, leaving me in plain sight.
“Miss Delaroe?”
I took one last chance and tried to shove my way through the gates, but that got me nothing but a glare from the big man in front of me. The crowd parted as the guard approached. The guard planted himself in front of me.
Foiled again.
I fumed as he shepherded me away from my goal.
“You shouldn’t be leaving the city without permission from your brother,” he said, trying to sound stern. The guards used to be a lot more intimidating when I was younger. This particular guard couldn’t be much older than me. He still had a baby face and no trace of a beard. “It could be dangerous.”
An elderly man hobbled past us. It was too dangerous for me, but not for him?
“I don’t care,” I said.
“But, Miss—”
“I am going.” I stood as straight as I could. Maybe I could pull rank and force him to let me through. The baby-faced guard stammered. I thought I might have won until I felt a shadow fall over me.
“Avery?” a familiar voice boomed. “I didn’t think you’d be the one to come flirt with the new recruits.”
I scowled as a blush burned across my cheeks. Clenching my hands into fists, I turned to face the newcomer. I had to crane my head back to make eye contact with the monstrous mountain of a man.
“I was not flirting,” I said. The gargantuan Captain Tor grinned down at me, clearly finding the whole situation amusing. “I would like to leave,” I declared, raising my voice because that’s what Alistair did when he wanted everyone to listen to him. “Now, please, move aside and allow me to pass!”
The word ‘pass’ came out with a strangled cry as Captain Tor, completely ignoring my request, picked me up and tossed me over his broad shoulder like a sack of flour.
“Hey!” I gasped. “Unhand me, you brute! Put me down!”
“Stop bullying my men,” Captain Tor said. “We’re going to go talk to your brother about this.”
“Oh no,” I groaned.
2
“You tried to leave the city?!”’
After my having to endure a humiliating trek through the streets of Silverleaf thrown over Tor’s shoulder, Alistair wasn’t even home. Instead, I was dumped unceremoniously at the feet of Hannah. While Alistair governed the city, Hannah governed the household. And by “governed,” I mean ruled like a power-hungry despot.
Hannah was — how shall I say it? — sensitive. Intelligent and beautiful, Hannah’s great flaw was how much she felt. She was keenly aware of the emotional state of everyone around her. If things got too heated or too heavy, she fled and locked herself in her room. She was the most easily spooked, easily upset person I have ever known. The only way to deal with Hannah was to give her what she wanted. It was impossible to win an argument with her because she always got emotional, whether you were right or wrong. Her erratic sensitivity was the main reason she had not yet married, despite being the most eligible bachelorette in Silverleaf. Her existence was a constant state of anxiety.
Her tumultuous emotional state had only worsened after being kidnapped by the Horrid Witch along with Alacia and Hallie. Our sister Delta had rescued them from the witch’s curse, but Hannah had never quite been the same.
Hannah spent most of her time hiding in her bedroom, so I was quite surprised to see her sitting at the fire in the drawing room. A tongue-lashing from Alistair would have been bad enough. But having to hear it from Hannah? Today was just not my day.
I glared at Tor as I climbed to my feet, rubbing my bum. Only Tor would dare manhandle a Delaroe. He wouldn’t get in trouble for it, either. Alistair adored him. He was one of Alistair’s most trusted men and had been around as long as I could remember.
Tor flashed me a cheeky smile, winked, and left me to my fate. Curse him.
I waited for the sound of the door clicking shut before I faced my sister. She sat completely straight-backed at the very edge of her seat. She always acted overly formal when she had to get after one of us. Why couldn’t Tor take me to Alacia instead? The second eldest sister, Alacia would have smacked me upside the head, called me a fool, and sent me on my way. But not Hannah. Hannah was going to make this emotional.
“You tried to leave the city,” Hannah said again. It wasn’t a question this time.
“Yes. I tried to leave the city. I failed. Tor caught me. Do we have to talk about it?” I just wanted to sulk in my room.
“Yes, we have to talk about this,” Hannah said. She rolled the fabric of her skirt in her hands and stared at me without blinking, which I think she did in an effort to look authoritative. Instead, it came across as disconcerting and a little creepy. “Avery, do you have any idea how dangerous it is to leave the city? Without telling anyone? What if something happened to you?”
“I would have welcomed it,” I said, “because nothing ever happens to me in this stupid city.”
“We try so hard to keep you safe.”
“Safe from what?”
Hannah pressed her lips into a thin line.
“You won’t tell me.” Big surprise. I was fifteen years old, but Hannah always treated me like a child.
“I know you feel frustrated,” she began.
“Yes,” I interrupted, “I’m frustrated. I just want to go outside the gates — just to see what the rest of the world is like.”
“Avery—”
“But of course not! You and Alistair would never let me leave. I feel like a prisoner!”
Hannah rolled her eyes — a very un-Hannah-like thing to do. “Oh, please. You are not a prisoner. You live in a mansion with everything you could possibly want.”
“I want to go outside the gates!”
“Well, you can’t.”
“Why not?! Mother and Father traveled the world, so why can’t I?”
“Traveling the world got them killed.”
“At least they lived before they died!” I yelled.
When I raised my voice, Hannah stood. Oh no. She was going to cry and run to her room, and I was going to have to feel bad about it all day.
But she didn’t. Her voice trembled, but she didn’t flee. “Avery,” she said, “I don’t want to lose you, too.”
Not this again. Hannah was playing the poor-me-our-parents-died act, as if they had died yesterday and we were still deep in the throes of mourning and how dare I want something so selfish?
“Lose me?” I scoffed. “I wouldn’t get lost! Silverleaf is a huge city surrounded by a huge wall! I could probably travel for two days and still see it. One of these days, I’m going to leave. And I’m never going to come back!”
Hannah snapped.
“NO!” Her voice came out in a strangled shriek. She sliced her hand through the air in frust
ration. I gasped as a sharp pain slashed across my face, nearly pushing me off my feet. I cupped my cheek and felt the warmth of blood against my palm.
Hannah stared at me with an expression of mixed surprise and horror.
“Ouch!” I pulled my hand away from my cheek. It was wet with dark, red blood. What in the world? “Did you throw something at me?”
“Avery! I—I’m so sorry.”
“You hurt me.” I stared at the blood on my hand in a daze. I couldn’t quite comprehend what had just happened, nor that Hannah had been the cause. Hannah would never hurt anyone. And how? She wasn’t holding anything sharp. She hadn’t even touched me.
“Avery—” Hannah stepped toward me. I retreated with a few quick steps.
“Don’t touch me.”
“I’m not— I didn’t mean—”
“Just leave me alone!”
I turned on my heel and pushed the door open with my bloodied hand. I heard Hannah calling my name, but I didn’t turn back. I slammed the door behind me and stormed toward my room.
For trying so hard not to lose me, Hannah was doing a fantastic job of pushing me away.
3
“Please let me go with you!” I knelt dramatically before my sister-in-law, hands clasped, pleading.
Ariana gave me a sympathetic smile as she folded a pair of pants in preparation for her trip across the country. Though she was apparently a princess, she was never comfortable letting the staff help her, preferring to do everything for herself. She had moved into the Silverleaf mansion after escaping her abusive mother and marrying my brother Elias. Elias was an ambassador. When he was out on official business, she usually remained with us. But this time, Elias had been assigned to a city within Barune’s borders and asked his family to join him. They were packing to meet him in Diaton, about two day’s ride away.
“I’m not sure Alistair would allow that.”
“I’m fifteen, not five!”
“And what about your face? You should let that heal before you travel.”
I touched the bandage wrapped around my head. “I’m fine,” I grumbled.
Ariana shook her head. “You know I would love to have you join us and, of course, Kadria would love to have you along, as well.”
I turned to Kadria with a big smile, only to find my niece with one of Ariana’s hair combs in her mouth.
“No, Kadri!” I snatched the comb away and wiped it clean on my skirt before handing it to Ariana.
“Kadria, combs do not go in your mouth!” Ariana dropped the comb into her trunk, out of Kadria’s reach. “I love that she’s walking now, but the eating everything in sight is getting old very fast.”
“Mine!” Kadria toddled toward the trunk in an attempt to climb in after the comb. I slid my hands under her chubby arms and lifted her onto my hip.
“If I came with you, I could help you look after her,” I suggested.
“Oh, that would be nice.” Ariana smoothed the fabric of a blouse before setting it in the trunk. Ariana was of Horrid descent. She wore their traditional clothing of baggy pants and a decorative top. Even Kadria wore the most adorable mini version of Horrid attire, which was probably why she could walk so fast: no skirts to trip over. “If Alistair gets home in time, we’ll talk to him. Alright?”
So that was basically a no.
“Alright,” I grumbled.
I settled Kadria onto the bed and kissed the top of her forehead. Her short, wispy hair was dark, like mine. I always felt a special connection with Kadria. I was her favorite aunt. I watched her, fed her, and played with her more than anyone else did. Occasionally, she had even called me Mama. Fortunately, Ariana thought it was darling and didn’t seem to mind the mistake.
“Be good, Kadri. Okay? No more eating combs.”
Kadria gave me a goofy grin, displaying her mouthful of little baby teeth, as if to say, I have every intention of putting the next comb I see in my mouth, but I’m so cute you’ll love me anyway.
I left Ariana to finish packing. There was no way Alistair would let me go. Not even he ever left Silverleaf unless he had to. I wondered if, technically, Ariana, a princess, outranked him since he was only a governor. Could she force him to let me accompany her? And if she could, would she?
Probably not.
“Avery? Is that you?”
“Yes.” I stopped outside the open door of my sister Alacia’s room. She was what we all called the ‘maker’ of the family. She was always tinkering with something — the kind of person who could never keep her hands still.
“Good. Could you do a favor for me?”
I leaned against the doorway, watching as my older sister snipped some loose thread from the tunic she had just mended.
“Sure,” I said.
“Will you take this to Captain Tor? One of his men ripped his uniform. But I fixed it up, good as new.”
She held up the blue tunic with the embroidered silver aspen leaf on the front. You could tell the rank of the guards by how much of the tree was visible. This was a newbie’s tunic, showing only a single leaf. The next rank would have a branch with several leaves. Then a tree. Captain Tor’s uniform had a full tree with many detailed little leaves and a whole root system, as well. I always found it strange that the man who was supposed to be the toughest wore the most beautiful clothing. But Tor rocked it. He really needed the whole tree to cover his enormous chest. Lucy always joked that Tor was descended from a cyclops, what with his huge size and his habit of squinting one eye when he was thinking.
“Yeah, I’ll take it to him.”
“Thank you— Whoa! What happened to you?” Alacia had just noticed the huge white bandage a maid had helped me wrap around my head, under my chin, and over my hair like a makeshift bonnet. It worked to cover the cut, but it made my injury look far worse than it was.
I didn’t really know how to explain that Hannah’s feelings had attacked me, so I just shrugged and said, “It was an accident. Not as bad as it looks.”
“You look like your chin’s going to fall off.”
I laughed. “Really, it’s not that bad.”
“How did you hurt yourself?” Alacia pressed. She approached me with that familiar I’m-not-giving-up-until-I-have-all-the-answers expression I knew all too well.
“I’m fine!” I insisted.
“Has Hannah seen this?”
I scowled. “Yes. She’s definitely seen it.”
Alacia placed on hand on her hip and cocked her head, studying me. “Are you still mad at her?”
“Humph.”
“You’re going to give her a heart attack.”
“I didn’t do anything to her!”
“What’s your deal, anyway? What exactly do you plan to do when you leave the city? A fifteen-year-old noble has no business traveling alone.”
“So I’m supposed to just stay here for the rest of my life?” I gathered the black trousers, the blue tunic, and the silver epaulettes with their silver tassels. The helmet was plain, but well shined and free of any dents.
“I don’t know, Avery. I’m sure you’ll have a chance to travel someday. But the sneaking thing really needs to stop.”
“Yes, Mother.” I hated being parented by Alacia just as much as Lucy hated being parented by me.
“Don’t forget the boots.” Alacia picked up the knee-high boots and placed them on top of the clothing I held in my arms. “Thanks for doing this for me. They need it right away. This guard is accompanying Ariana to Diatom.”
“Really?” They let a low-ranking guard who tore his uniform leave the city walls, but not me? I remembered the old man waddling to freedom while I was waylaid and rolled my eyes. Life was so unfair.
I caught the edge of the door with my foot as I left Alacia’s room, tugging it closed behind me. My arms full of the guard’s uniform, I turned to make my way toward the barracks, where I was most likely to find Tor.
Hannah stood at the end of the hallway. This was the first time I had seen her since our little
spat two days ago. I had been avoiding her since, which was pretty easy to do since she had promptly locked herself in her room. Her eyes were puffy like she had been crying.
“Avery,” she said.
“You look awful.”
Hannah touched her uncombed hair, flinching at my rudeness. Maybe I ought to tone it down. She was clearly distressed. I shifted the weight of the guard’s uniform in my arms, sliding the boots out of the way so Hannah could see my face.
She fidgeted with the sleeve of her dress. She always wore long sleeves, even in the warmest days of summer. “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice so quiet I almost couldn’t hear it. “I’m sorry for— for what happened.”
“So am I,” I grumbled. I cleared my throat. “But I accept your apology.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Only my pride.” The bandage-bonnet was a little much. Fortunately, the maid said I should be able to take it off that night.
“Listen. I have a — a compromise.”
I raised my eyebrows, intrigued. Hannah never compromised. “Yes?”
“I think you should go on a trip.”
“Really?!” I nearly dropped the uniform in my excitement.
“I’ll even go with you.”
That wasn’t so exciting.
“When you’re twenty.”
“Twenty!? That’s five years from now!”
“Exactly. That will give me time to prepare.”
Of course, Hannah would make it all about herself. She didn’t want me to leave because she was scared. It was all about what precious Hannah wanted.
“You need five years to prepare for a trip? You know what? Forget it. I don’t even want to go on any trips with you. I want to travel to get away from you!”
Hannah gasped. Behind her, a portrait fell from the wall and crashed to the floor. Better the portrait than my face, I suppose.
“What was that?” Alacia poked her head out of her room. “Hannah, are you alright? What did you do?” That last angry question was directed at me.
“Nothing!”
A wave of nausea hit me as Hannah covered her face with her hands. She was probably about to cry. Again. And I was going to look like the bad guy.