by Remy Rose
Once I figured out what I wanted, I just decided to go for it.
Whoa. Flighty, immature Sonya, being unwittingly profound?
What she said is most definitely different from that pale, wimpy, let it go poster. It’s bold and striking, vivid and reckless. And maybe it’s just what I need.
I say goodbye to Brownie and Sonya and walk to my car, my thoughts building one on top of the other until my mind is packed with possibilities. I’ve already proven to myself that I don’t have to be with someone. I’ve fought the idea of getting involved with anyone because I’ve been so afraid of becoming needy and dependent again. But this isn’t about wanting a man in my life. It’s about wanting Carlo. He's had the power in our relationship, but I’m going to take some of it back, because I’ve figured out what I want.
And I’m going to go for it. Just like that.
My hands are shaking as I reach into my coat pocket for my phone, my heart suddenly open and light, like someone opened all the windows inside me to let in fresh air.
The text message I send is simple and direct.
I want to see you.
A deep, slow exhale. Now, I’ll wait. And hope.
chapter thirty-six ~ Carlo
It feels like I’ve only been asleep a few minutes when the dream comes to me.
Cornstalks, waving in the wind...the rattle of their brittle leaves in sharp contrast with the wailing sound that blares and fades, blares and fades. There is light, spilling over the cornfield, and he squints from his position lying on the ground, cold and damp beneath him. A dark shape, some twenty feet away from him, out of the light. He blinks. The wail has become a scream.
Then, a silhouetted figure walking through the cornfield, the stalks parting and their tassels hanging stiffly. He strains to see. The figure passes through a beam of light, and he can now see long auburn hair, loose and wavy, a white blouse...Cassandra. He can't see her face and realizes she is walking away from him. He tries to call out to her, but his voice is only a whisper. She becomes smaller and smaller, as if being swallowed by the cornfield, and then he can't see her anymore.
I fight to wake up, pulling myself back into the present—my bedroom, the ceiling fan whirring overhead. I’m still in my work clothes, minus the tie and shoes, with my shirt unbuttoned. After a Scotch on the rocks, I had laid down to try and get rid of the headache from hell, not meaning to fall asleep. But yesterday's scene with Brock, combined with the aftermath of the night with Cassandra, taxed me to the point of exhaustion—both mental and physical. I need to take the shards of sleep whenever I can get them, as sharp and broken as they are. Although if the dream is going to keep recurring, I’d rather be awake.
I was blown away by the addition of Cassandra in the dream. Jesus, watching her walk away like that...even though it wasn’t real, it still wrecked me. I’m guessing she surfaced in it because of the text I got from her last night—something else that threw me. I'd just finished talking with my attorney about how to proceed with Dall when her message came through: I want to see you. Reading those simple words were jabs straight to the heart.
I didn’t respond. And that also killed me—thinking of her waiting for an answer that didn’t come.
She deserves so much better. Another reason why I’ve got to stay away.
I check my phone for the time. 7:30. I don’t like the frame of mind I’m in, especially since it makes me want to drink. I’ll go with water this time.
I pick up the empty tumbler on my nightstand and take it into the bathroom, catching my reflection in the mirror. I look like shit. Rumpled hair, five o'clock shadow, bloodshot eyes... paler than usual, too, with bluish smudges under my eyes. No wonder Estelle kept staring at me today. I haven’t told her yet about Dall, but I will. She’ll have the attitude good riddance with a dash of I told you so. I should have trusted her instincts. I hate the thought of having been duped—betrayed—by that lying prick. And knowing that he and I collaborated on that fucking contest makes my guts burn and my skin crawl.
I need a distraction, something to lighten my mood. I’ll call Gianna—she never fails to cheer me up.
Climbing back in bed, I arrange the pillows behind me and pick up my phone.
“My fratello! What’s going on?”
“Just wanted to see how my baby sister is doing.”
“I'm good! Jordan had a photography exhibit today, and it went really well.”
“Good for him.”
“You sound tired.”
“I am. Just waking up from a nap.”
“A nap? That's not like you. Are you okay?”
“Yes. Just some challenges with work. Let's just say Brockton Dall has outlived his usefulness at Miller Valve.”
“Wow, seriously? What happened? Or can't you tell me?”
“I'm not at liberty to say right now, but I'll tell you when I can.”
“Okay. I'm actually glad he’ll be gone—he always kind of creeped me out. Something about him. Estelle didn't care for him, either. And she has excellent judgment.”
“True. Although her choice of boyfriends still surprises me. Martin wasn't at all what I expected.”
“He's so nice, though, Carlo. And sometimes the best things happen when you least expect them.”
I can’t miss the purpose laced through her voice. Here it comes.
“Speaking of that...how's Cassandra?”
“Not sure. We haven't seen each other in a while.”
“Ughh, why not? Or is that also something you can't tell me?”
“I'd rather not share it, no.”
“I’m really happy you called to tell me that you can’t tell me things.”
“Sorry. You know how I can be.”
“Yes, I do.” Her voice is soft, reminding me again of my mother. “Carlo...have you ever considered that it might be time?”
I don’t answer. I know what she means, of course...just don’t know how to respond.
“She's very special, isn't she?”
I close my eyes.
“I just don't want you to lose someone who may be right for you.” Gi pauses. “I know I've said it before, but I want you to find happiness again. Seeing you with Cassandra at the party—it's obvious you two have strong feelings for each other. Can you at least admit that?”
A dull ache takes root in my chest and starts to spread. “It's not just about feelings, Gi. It's much more complicated than that.”
She sighs. “Carlo—sometimes I wonder if you're making it too complicated. Maybe if you tried to see it for what it is in simple terms.”
“And what is it, cara?”
“A boy and a girl who really like each other.”
I smile in spite of myself. We’re quite a pair, Gianna and I—sweet and sour. “You really are amazing, you know that? And I love you.”
“Yep, I do know that, and I love you, too.”
“It's been rough, Gi.” My eyes are suddenly burning.
“Then find the smoothness, my sweet fratello. Find it, and maybe you'll find yourself.”
God, if only it were that simple.
“Hey...Jordan and I are meeting some friends for drinks, so I've got to go. Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
“You're lying, but I want you to think about what I said. Keep it simple. A boy and a girl. Do what boys do, and ask her out.”
Ending the call, I shift myself against the pillows, thinking hard. The ache inside me is pulsing, like a quiet, persistent reminder. Gi is young and naïve; she doesn’t get how complex my world has become. And believe me, I want to keep it that way. But my little sister can also be incredibly perceptive.
Keep it simple. A boy and a girl.
The simple truth is, despite how our last night together ended, despite what I’d asked of her, and even though I haven’t initiated any contact for almost a week, Cassandra still wants to see me.
Another simple truth: Lying here alone in bed in this empty house...I want to see her, too.
&nbs
p; So.
I pick up my phone again and tap on Cassandra's last message, staring at the blinking cursor. Before I let myself think too much—always, my downfall—I text a reply. Keeping it simple, like Gianna said.
I want to see you, too.
Five minutes pass, my heart thudding hard. And then, one word from her. When?
Tomorrow night.
OK. I have the bring-in chore at Windswept. I'll need to shower after so I don't smell like a horse. Come to my apt 6:30?
Yes. There is a lot we need to talk about. I hesitate. She deserves to know this. I’ve missed you.
From miles away, I can feel her smile.
chapter thirty-seven ~ Cassandra
I’m scooping grain into Sweet Surrender's bucket as she lays back her ears and tries to shove her nose into the pail.
“Could we have some manners, please?”
I can relate to her impatience, though...it’s been less than twenty-four hours since Carlo texted me back, and I’m just about ready to climb out of my skin waiting for 6:30 to get here. Trying to keep the drama down, but God, I can’t wait to see him again. Imagining it kept me awake last night. Any reservations I had are now totally crowded out by thinking about kissing him, touching him, lying underneath him.
But I need to know the reasons behind his need for dominance. And understanding him better might make it easier for me to accept his commands.
I feel myself start to ache, just remembering the things he had me do...the way his voice sounded when he spoke to me in that sexy growl.
Unzip my pants. I think you know what I want you to do.
Lie across my lap, Cassandra. I'm going to spank you.
Are you ready?
Oh, God. Yes, Carlo...I’m ready. So ready.
Mostly, I want to see him to know that everything is going to be all right. That we will be all right, even though we aren’t officially a “we.”
Yet.
I push the cart with the pails of grain down the aisle and stop at the next stall, thinking of what to wear tonight. Maybe the jade green, silky blouse that looks good with my hair. One more horse to feed, and then I’ll put away the grain cart, do a quick sweep of the aisle and head home to shower.
I’m tipping the pail over a grain bucket when movement in the barn doorway catches my eye. The late-day sun is blinding...I can just make out a tall silhouette. Carlo? My heart leaps.
Shielding my eyes, I can see as the person comes closer that it’s a guy, but not Carlo. He’s handsome—tall, blond, rugged, in a flannel shirt and jeans—and he looks familiar.
He’s smiling as he approaches. “Hey, Cassandra—I was hoping you'd still be here.”
I put the empty pail in the cart, smile back at him hesitantly. And then I remember who he is. “Hey—it's Brock, right?”
chapter thirty-eight ~ Carlo
I’m stepping out of the shower, and it hits me that I feel good. Really, really good about today and things in general. Even though it’s Saturday, I went into the office to tie up some loose ends and then had a great workout at the gym. I feel cleansed, somehow. Everything seems brighter, lighter, and I’m wanting to make a fresh start with Cassandra. With life. I decided to follow Gianna's advice and let myself consider that it might be time. Time to shed the heavy cloak of guilt, regret and the past, and look to the future—possibly a future with Cassandra Larsen.
I can’t wait to have her in my arms again—cover her mouth with mine, listen to her whimpers and sighs, feel her body as she molds herself to me. I want to make love to her with a sweet, slow build-up, but given how it will be to see each other again...we may both want the first time to be intense, hard fucking.
I can do that.
Last night, after texting with her, I slept soundly—no dreams—and woke up feeling hungry. I can’t ignore the fact that just knowing I’ll see her again has completely changed my mood—that, in and of itself, says something. But we have a long way to go...there are some major issues that need to be addressed, one being the reason I went after her in the first place. Things will be different from here on out: no secrets between us, even if it means being brutally honest. I’ll find a way, somehow, to tell her about the game. Which will have to include telling her the why.
I’m toweling off, thinking how fucking painful this is going to be—painful for me to say, and for her to hear. But if this relationship is going to move forward, it needs to happen. And hopefully she’ll understand—maybe not right away, but with time. I’ll work like hell to make her see how much she’s come to mean to me. And I’ll take care of her sexually—keep exploring submission and domination with her, for the pure pleasure it can bring us both, without any ulterior motives.
I sit on the edge of the bed and pull on my jeans, grinning as I remember Cassandra teasing me about the holes in them. Her sense of humor is one of the sexiest things about her. I need more of that—laughing, flirting. The kind of things that boys and girls who like each other do. I smile again, thinking of what Gi had said.
Maybe I’ll take her to Maine. Walk the beach and go for a long drive to see the foliage, which will be at peak in mid-October. I can picture Cassandra loving the colors. And a change of scenery would be good for both of us.
Pulling on a sweater, I get my watch off the nightstand and flinch when I see the alarm clock. Jesus...I’ve been so preoccupied with everything that’s transpired this week, I didn’t take care of the video evidence. Definitely doing that now. This model has an SD card that I can remove and destroy. Turning the clock around, I find the slot.
With nothing inside.
chapter thirty-nine ~ Cassandra
So the way Brock is just standing here smiling is kind of creeping me out. I’m a little annoyed that he showed up when I was almost ready to leave, but hopefully he won’t stay long. Of course, I’ll be nice, seeing as he works with Carlo.
“How are you?” I’ll start with that.
“I'm wonderful. And you?”
“I'm good, thanks. How did you know I worked here?”
“Your boyfriend told me a while back.”
This makes me blush and shake my head. “Oh—Carlo's not actually my boyfriend...we've just gone out a few times.”
“Gone out? Is that what you'd call it?” Brock's smile broadens.
He really is very attractive, but something in his eyes...ugh. Kind of a cold gleam. I curl my toes inside my shoes. “I guess so. We're just getting to know each other.”
“Tip of the iceberg, you could say.” He laughs softly, folding his arms across his broad chest. “We didn't get to talk much at Gianna's engagement party.”
“No.” I’m getting more and more confused by the minute at the total randomness of this conversation.
“I wish we had, because I wanted to find out more about the girl whom Carlo was so intrigued with.”
I’m blushing again, not knowing how the hell to respond. Is there a point to all of this? If so, I wish he'd hurry up and get to it, because I still need to sweep before I leave. Maybe I can move things along. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
Annnd more staring and smiling. Awkward.
“That's actually very ironic, Cassandra. It's more about how I can help you.”
“Help me?”
“Yes. I can tell you're quite naïve, and where Carlo's such a private person, I thought it might help if you had a little insight from one of his old friends. Just to put you on more even playing ground with him in the game.”
Game?
“I was going to just tell you, but showing you is so much better.” He reaches into his pants pocket and takes out a small white envelope.
Taking it, I thank him hesitantly.
Brock waves his hand at me. “No need for thanks—I felt it was the right thing to do. There are directions for you to read. My phone number's there as well, if you want to chat later. And Cassandra—give my best to Carlo.” He flashes me a dazzling grin before turning to walk away. I can hear him whistling a
s he heads out the barn door.
This is sooo very sketchy. Why would—
I stop in mid-thought. Oh, God...of course! Carlo is behind this. Doing something to surprise me, and having Brock be part of the plan. I can’t believe I was so clueless and didn’t think of this sooner. No wonder Brock was finding it so amusing.
I’m smiling as I open the envelope and take out the contents: a note, and what appears to be a small computer card.
I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. But I can’t wait to find out.
Thank you so much for reading POINT OF SUBMISSION, the first book in the two-volume Point series.
POINT OF RELEASE, the 80K word sequel, features more steamy scenes, suspense, secrets revealed and plot twists. Available for pre-order below with a release date of July 27, 2017.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B073Q53LFB
Other Books by Remy Rose
BIG DECK, an internationally best-selling romantic comedy featuring lots of steamy sex, humor and heart.
United States.: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071S7GJ9T
United Kingdom.: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B071S7GJ9T
Canada: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B071S7GJ9T
Australia: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B071S7GJ9T
Contemporary women’s fiction
The Moment Just Before
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DVE3FEE
Curing Christine: Journey of a Jilted Hypochondriac
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D97T556
Thank you so much for reading POINT OF SUBMISSION. If you enjoyed it, I would be immensely grateful if you’d post a review - just a couple of lines would be much appreciated. Reviews are critical in helping new authors get more exposure.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to my readers for your enthusiastic support of my work. I wouldn’t be able to do this without you!