by Poppy Flynn
Jake's face paled, his eyes widened and he looked absolutely horrified.
"Oh my God!" he sputtered in disbelief. "I didn't realise…I never would have…I thought…"
Desi looked down into Jake's beautiful face and smiled, reaching out to cup his cheek, wishing, not for the first time, that it had been this cousin she'd fallen in love with. Jake was such a caring, special man. She couldn't believe the women who had wandered through his life hadn't see him for who he was and snapped him up. Of course, if they were that short sighted, they didn't deserve him, she thought protectively.
"It's okay," she hushed him. "It's better this way…really! He's set me free."
She settled her head back onto his chest. "You know me well enough to understand that a life as Joel's submissive would never be enough for me. And we both know that's all a relationship with Joel would ever amount to. I don't want to be someone's responsibility, Jake. I want more than that for myself. So, believe me, he's done me a favour. I've finally let him go, and now, I can move forward."
Jake brought his other arm around her back and pulled her to him, hugging her tight and she relaxed in his grasp. God, it was nice to just be held. She closed her eyes and luxuriated in the comforting sensation. This was the sort of thing she would never get out of a relationship with Joel.
"I don't want to be on my own any more, Jake. I want children, a family. I want to grow old with someone who will just want to cuddle me when my boobs sag and my hair turns white and I'm too old to be tied up and flogged. Whatever I feel for Joel, I'm a realist and I've finally realised that I want to live my life the way I should have done all along. I've thrown away too much of it already, hiding myself away and forcing back my own character, trying to mould myself into something I'm not. I don't want to live like that any longer. I'm not going to waste any more time and I need to start living for myself. It's my time now," she finished softly.
"Bravo!" Jake whispered against her hair.
The next couple of days at work were hectic and Desi felt mildly guilty that she hadn't been giving things her full attention.
As excellent as she was at her job, Luanna still needed a little guidance which Desi felt she had neglected, and Laurel was out of sorts, unusually moody and uncharacteristically unforthcoming with her problems. Usually, Laurel chewed her ear off about anything and everything and Desi couldn't shut her up, even when she felt the depth and intimacy of their conversations were inappropriate for the level of their friendship. So, it seemed odd that now that Desi herself was so much more approachable, Laurel seemed to have retreated. Not that she'd had time to discover the reasons yet.
Charlotte had left numerous messages on her answering machine, demanding to know what was going on and all Desi had managed in return was a pathetic text message to her best friend's phone, telling her that everything was great and she'd contact her soon. Well, that was the truth. The things she had to confide in Charlotte weren't the kinds of things you could cover in a brief phone call…or even a long one! Those would have to wait for a proper girls' night and that was something she was looking forward to enjoying very soon. Maybe Laurel and Luanna would like to join them, but that was probably best left until she'd updated Charlotte on this new direction of her life.
Neither Joel nor Connor had been around since their scene on Wednesday evening, but Jake and Logan both showed up from time to time and Desi knew that Logan was consulting on the legal ramifications of a takeover by the Blackwood Corporation, something she had been avoiding thinking too deeply about, given her relationship with both the Blackwood cousins.
Desi had embraced her new self with gusto. She wasn't the same impulsive, whimsical girl she was at nineteen, but neither was she the distant, conservative business woman she had allowed herself to become. She firmly believed there was a happy medium and welcomed the challenge of finding that comfortable middle ground.
She had softened her harsh hairstyle but kept her business suits and heels, since she was still a professional with a reputation to uphold and she needed to be taken seriously. Besides, she actually rather liked most of them, although she'd promised herself that she'd go out and buy some new, jewel toned silk shirts to team them with them to give herself a little bit of pizazz.
She adopted a friendlier approach with her colleagues and co-workers. Nothing truly overt, just a smile and a hello and the odd conversation about the weather while waiting for the elevator, but it surprised her how much more comfortable such a little thing made her feel when she walked through the building.
So, when Jake approached her on Friday afternoon and asked her if she would accompany him to one of the annual business foundation charity balls the following week, she accepted without hesitation. It was the kind of function she used to attend on behalf of Universal Holdings before the debacle with James and she had secretly enjoyed the excuse to dress up and go dancing, even if it had been in her own reserved manner. It had fed that inhibited part of her soul that longed to rebel against the staid and boring woman she'd become.
And when Jake had revealed that Joseph Blackwood would also be present, Desi knew this would also provide her with a unique opportunity to get a personal insight into the man who held the future of her company in the balance.
The week flew by, and Desi felt more comfortable with her life than she had for the past eleven years. If there was the odd yearning ache for Joel, then she didn't let it show. She didn't so much as acknowledge it. She was done holding on to the past; it was destructive and damaging and so very pointless when there was so much of the future to look forward to. During their brief phone call, when she had finally found a minute to schedule some girl time, Charlotte had offered the biggest compliment Desi could imagine when she'd said that Desi sounded just like her old self.
Just that thought made Desi smile as, with a spring in her step, she shopped for a new dress for the charity ball. She was looking for something spectacular. Something that would announce her 'new me' persona to the world…well, the business world, anyway.
She had even gone so far as to book beauty and hair appointments for the afternoon of the function, and she felt like a little kid at Christmas as she looked forward to it all with an unrestrained eagerness.
She found the perfect dress. It was full length in an antique gold colour that looked fantastic with her skin tone and highlighted the colour of her hair. It was sleeveless with a conservative round neckline, but the back was virtually non-existent, falling to a drape just above the dimples at the base of her spine, and the crystal beaded bodice with its built-in bra hugged her curves, showing her hourglass figure to its best advantage before falling away at the hip into a fluid, A-line skirt with layers of supple organza underneath.
She teamed it with a pair of plain gold shoes and decided to forego any jewellery, since the dress was ornate enough on its own and she didn't want to overdo it.
The following day, the stylist she had booked worked wonders on her hair. All these years, Desi had only managed two looks with her unruly mop. Either a mass of corkscrew curls, which she actually rather liked, but which bordered on unmanageable and was certainly unprofessional, or the ruthless taming into a tight twist that was undeniably harsh but kept it under control and was far more suitable for her job.
As she gazed at her reflection in the salon mirror, Desi barely recognised herself. Her makeup was flawless, defining her best features but still managing to look natural, and her hair fell in sleek waves to the top of her breasts, looking longer now that it had been teased and sculpted into a proper style.
When she dressed later and was waiting for Jake to pick her up, Desi couldn't help doing a little happy dance across her living room. She felt amazing and couldn't wait for the evening ahead.
Jake's jaw dropped when she opened the door to him a few minutes later, which boosted her confidence even more.
"Wow!" he spluttered. "You look absolutely stunning."
She did a little twirl for him and laughed. "I clean u
p pretty good, huh?"
"Pretty good might be the most colossal understatement ever." He winked. "I am going to be the envy of every man there. I'll have to keep an eye on you or they'll all be trying to steal you from under my nose."
Desi giggled merrily and grabbed a lined satin wrap and her evening bag before giving Jake a deep, contrived curtsey and extending her hand light-heartedly. "Shall we, dear Sir?"
Jake laughed and took her hand, following her lead with a flourish and a bow before placing a kiss on the back of her hand. He was pleased to see the playful side of her was back.
"By all means, my lady. Your carriage awaits."
The venue for the event didn't disappoint. Held in the original ballroom of one of the area's finest hotels, it had the luxury of 1920s glamour with its double height, vaulted ceiling complete with dripping crystal chandeliers and its sweeping marble staircase that accessed a colonnaded viewing balcony with mahogany and deep red velvet upholstered chairs surrounding little cocktail tables.
The music was provided by a wonderful string quartet, and as Desi listened appreciatively, she couldn't help noticing that some modern numbers had been reworked and nestled seamlessly between Beethoven and Haydn. She particularly liked the renditions of Coldplay's 'Viva la Vida' and The Rolling Stones 'Paint it Black'. They mingled for a while, nodding to the odd acquaintance and enjoying the atmosphere.
Jake stopped a passing waiter and took two glasses of champagne, handing one to Desi and she sipped, enjoying the feeling of the bubbles tickling her nose.
Across the room, she saw Connor chatting to another man, who from his distinctive black hair and blue eyes, Desi guessed must be Joseph Blackwood. There could be little doubting the family resemblance. The elder Blackwood was still a handsome man. There were wings of silver at his temples which gave him a distinguished look and he didn't appear to be as tall as either his son or his nephew, although that was difficult to tell, given that he was standing next to the giant who was Connor Griffin. Pretty much everyone looked small next to that man.
Jake followed her gaze. "Want to go say hello?" he asked.
Desi looked at her equally handsome escort. She had checked in her bag and wrap at the cloak room, so she was unencumbered.
"No," she said, finishing her drink and setting her glass on a nearby table. "Let's dance first!"
Jake grinned and led her to the dance floor, "It would be my pleasure, ma'am."
He spun her across the floor in a practiced foxtrot. Jake was an excellent dancer and she could tell by the attention they garnered that they made a striking couple. They were about to take a second turn around the floor when a familiar figure tapped Jake on the shoulder.
"May I cut in?" Joel asked smoothly, and Jake gave his cousin an odd, tight look and raised an eyebrow in askance before he allowed Joel to take her hand.
Desi smiled her consent to Jake. She could do this. She needed to do this, to prove to herself that she could function efficiently and without too much awkwardness in Joel's company. No time like the present to test the water and get a grip on how any future contact with Joel might turn out. It could probably only get easier from this point on, she reasoned.
Her stomach did a familiar flip-flop as he pulled her close, and his large palm seemed to almost brand her flesh with its heat as he placed it low on her bare back, slipping his fingers familiarly and maybe slightly inappropriately underneath the fabric of her dress where he proceeded to rub small circles across her skin while they danced in a somewhat stilted silence.
Desi felt a quiver slide down her spine at his attention and wondered if it would always be this way or whether time would eventually desensitise her to him.
She took a breath and was about to ask him exactly what he had wanted to achieve by asking her to dance, when he finally spoke. "My father would like to meet you," Joel said awkwardly. He seemed unusually agitated, not significantly so, maybe not noticeably to anyone who didn't know him as well as she did, but as if something was just bubbling under the surface. She wondered if he was uncomfortable because of her revelation, or if it was simply that the last time they were together, he had fucked her senseless. Or maybe it was something entirely different that had nothing to do with her.
"Of course," Desi replied politely but with a hint of reservation in her tone and body language. "Jake suggested an introduction earlier, but I wanted to dance first."
"Look, Desi. About the other night…" Joel began hesitantly, but Desi cut him off swiftly. She was sooo not going there with him, especially not here and now.
"Please don't," she said stiffly, pulling away from him slightly. Taking a deep, cleansing breath, she lifted her chin unashamedly and looked him straight in the eye, standing tall and confident.
"I understand, Joel. I understand everything," she told him clearly and noticed that he at least had the grace to look a little embarrassed that she'd recognised his play for what it was.
She stared deep into his eyes until he started to get uncomfortable with the intensity. Then she said sincerely, "I hope you find whatever it is that you're looking for, Joel. I hope what transpired was worthwhile for you—that you've slain those ghosts and you're finally at peace with yourself. More than anything in the world, I want you to be happy, my love. And I want you know that I'm finally at peace with myself. So, it's all good." She finished with a tremulous smile, bringing her hand up to touch his cheek with a mere feather of a touch.
"Now, let's go and meet your father." She closed the subject decisively and turned to make her way to the group of a dozen or so people whom she recognised were from The Blackwood Corporation.
As she reached the group and waded through the formal introductions of a bunch of men she would probably never remember the names of, she was aware that Jake seemed curiously uncomfortable and disconcerted, too. She also noticed that both Jake and Connor were shooting dagger glares at Joel, and she wondered if the three men had had some kind of falling out.
Connor met her affectionately, drawing her into his massive arms and hugging her tightly before placing a great smacking kiss on her cheek. Now that she knew him better, she was starting to see the cheerful guy behind the sombre exterior he so often presented. It was a nice juxtaposition for such a bear of a man who exuded an aura of remoteness and danger. She wondered if that was maybe just a gut reaction people had to his sheer size. Her final introduction was to the powerful mogul who was Joseph Blackwood.
"Desirae Harper!" he exclaimed. "Ah, Ms. Harper, finally, we meet. May I call you Desirae? What a pleasure!" he enthused and continued without waiting for an answer.
"I have heard so many wonderful things about you. And how delightful it is to have such a beautiful woman in the business. So much more lovely to look at than this ugly lot." He waved around the group and they all gave the required sycophantic chuckles that might have had Desi rolling her eyes, except that he grasped her shoulders and kissed both her cheeks, then tucked her hand in the crook of his arm, patting her hand in an oddly fatherly gesture.
Desi was dumbfounded. His effusiveness took her back somewhat. She had almost expected this meeting to be rather strained, since this man had tried to headhunt her several times and she had always turned down his increasingly generous offers, without reservation.
"I had no idea you were so familiar with my boys!" he exclaimed, raising an eyebrow.
Trust him to want an answer to that one! Desi grimaced internally before smoothing out her features. "I was at University with Joel and Jake for a couple of years before I transferred," she replied lightly.
"Really?" He frowned, looking genuinely annoyed. "I can't believe neither of them ever mentioned it!" The remark was directed to her but very clearly aimed at Joel and Jake.
"I went by a different name back then," she replied honestly. "Neither of them realised it was me until…" Desi trailed off, not wanting to draw attention to the circumstances of their reunion and get into what would undoubtedly be an unsavoury exchange about the takeov
er. This was neither the time or the place.
"But you knew the boys well?" he prodded, looking from one to the other like he was trying to decide on something, before settling on Jake. "You seem quite close." That idea clearly seemed to satisfy something in him.
Desi was done with running, so she answered him truthfully. "Joel and I dated for a little while."
Joseph's speculative gaze left his nephew and his head swivelled towards his son in surprise. "You did?"
Desi wasn't sure if he was asking confirmation from herself or Joel, but it was Joel who answered him. "We did." He looked remote and offered nothing else to his father, so Joseph turned his attention back to her.
"For how long?" he enquired, and she couldn't help wondering what the whole inquisition was about.
Desi took a breath, glancing over at Joel, whose expression gave nothing away. She wasn't sure why, but she didn't really want to disclose the length of their relationship, knowing that it would prove that theirs hadn't just been some passing fling, but something infinitely more serious.
It was Jake who saved her from answering. "About eighteen months," he told his uncle, though his eyes were on Joel.
Joseph's shrewd gaze sharpened and narrowed on his son. "Is that so?" he pondered, his stare never leaving Joel. "The only chick I remember there being any talk of you dating was the ditzy blonde bimbo that Eric told me all about."
Joel, Jake and Connor were all suddenly quiet, and the rest of the group picked up on the sudden tension and also hushed.
Joseph raised his eyebrows belligerently, mistakenly thinking that they had taken offense at his description of some unimportant, faceless woman, and Desi was momentarily speechless.
"What?" he asked, raising his palms and shrugging unrepentantly. "We all know what these damn gold-digging tramps are like!" he defended irritably. "You had a damn lucky escape from that one, quite frankly. In more ways than one!"