by ANDREA SMITH
“Here it is girlfriend,” Gina said as she pulled her car over to the curb.
It was a fairly impressive building in downtown Atlanta.
“You call me when you want me to pick you up, okay?
“Gina, I’m sure Trey will give me a lift back.”
“Honey, I’m just worried if you’ll survive that fucking maniac.”
“He’s not all that Gina, give the guy a break. I will call you if I need a ride, okay?”
“Okay, go get him, babe.”
I got out of the car, and walked across the pavement entering through the revolving glass doors into the building. I could hear Gina back in her car at the curb yelling ‘work it, work it girl’. She was definitely something else!
I went over to the directory by the four sets of elevators, scanning it for the law firm where Trey worked. It was in the penthouse. That figures I thought, pushing the button for the elevator.
The elevator doors closed behind me. I pushed the button marked “P”. When the doors opened there were huge gold letters with the firm’s name inscribed on the wall outside the elevator, ‘Pierce, Harmon, Richardson & Sinclair.’ I had to admit, it was impressive. I exited the elevator, the heels of my pumps clicking on the marble floor leading up to the receptionist’s station. A very pretty, very well dressed blonde looked up as I approached.
“May I help you?” she asked.
“Yes, my name is Tylar Preston. I’m here to see Trey Sinclair,” I stated as if I had every right to interrupt his day.
“Is Mr. Sinclair expecting you,” she asked.
(I’m quite certain he’s not.)
“I don’t have an appointment if that is what you’re asking,” I responded coolly.
She didn’t like me, I could tell. I didn’t really give a rat’s ass. I was here to say what I needed to say to Trey, and then leave. If he chose not to see me without an appointment, so be it. She picked up the phone and pressed one of the many buttons.
“Yes, Tonya this is Debbie. There is a Ms. Tylar Preston at reception to see Mr. Sinclair.”
(Slight rolling of the eyes.)
“She doesn’t have an appointment.”
I waited, tapping my foot as if my time was far more important than any of theirs. I liked it. A few moments later ole’ Debbie got a look of surprise on her expertly made up face.
“Oh, very well. Yes I will tell her. Thank you.”
She looked at me with a fake smile.
“Mr. Sinclair’s assistant will be with you momentarily to take you to his office. Can I offer you any refreshment, coffee, juice or water?”
“I’m fine thank you,” I replied.
Several moments later, as predicted, another young impeccably dressed and coifed brunette came to reception.
"Ms. Preston?" she asked, holding her hand out to me. "I'm Tonya, Mr. Sinclair's assistant. How are you?"
“I’m well, thank you, Tonya.”
“If you will come this way please.”
I followed Tonya down a wide marbled hallway that curved several times. There were rows of doors lining each side of the hallway. We finally reached one that had ‘Trey Sinclair’ in gold letters on it. She opened the door for me, standing aside to allow me entrance.
“May I get you anything?” she asked politely as I entered the outer office.
“Thank you, no,” I declined.
This was her office, and beyond, there was another heavy wooden door.
“You may go on in, Ms. Preston. Mr. Sinclair is expecting you.”
My courage was quickly fading. What the hell was I doing here? It was one thing to be brave and bold when those sapphire blue eyes weren’t piercing through me, I was regretting my decision to come down here and confront him. Suddenly, my legs felt like rubber. I can do this I repeated to myself several times, making my way over to his door, my heels sinking into the deep carpet.
My hand trembled as I turned the door knob, pushing the door forward and entering his inner sanctum. Those magnificent blue eyes were immediately upon me as I crossed the threshold, closing the door behind me.
He stood up from his massive desk, dressed impeccably in Armani, yet another suit of custom tailoring. In just several strides, he was right there in front of me. I wasn’t sure if I should offer my hand for a handshake, realizing instantly that this was not what Trey had in mind.
His arms were around me, pulling me against his strong, hard body. His hands cupped my face, looking at me with those magnificent blue orbs.
I was taken aback. This was not the reception I had anticipated. My heart fluttered. The butterflies in my
stomach that had been left for dead were suddenly resurrected. He lowered his head to mine. I felt his warm lips on mine, kissing me with a fervor that left me breathless. I could not let this happen. This was not the reason that I came downtown to Trey’s office. I gently pushed Trey back, fighting the urge to peel my clothes off, throw myself on his desk and have him do me right then and there.
“Stop, Trey, please,” I said, trying to catch my breath.
He released his hold on me, gazing down at me with a look I could only describe as fear.
“I came here to talk to you; I heard from Denise. She said that you were upset.”
His eyes turned to blue steel in that moment. He motioned me over to take a seat in front of his desk. He retreated back to his leather chair behind his desk. Okay, we were going to play lawyer/client now.
“Please sit down, Tylar,” he said coolly, taking his seat.
He rested his elbows on the desk in front of him, clasping his hands together on the desk, resting his chin on them and continued observing me.
“Trey, I came here to let you know that I am alright. I’m staying with Gina. I did not run off with Mark. I can’t believe that you would even think that.”
“Who told you that I thought that?”
“Denise.”
“Ray must tell her everything,” he mumbled, looking definitely not pleased.
“I won’t have you thinking those kinds of things about me, Trey. Or Mark either. There was nothing between us.”
“You’ll forgive me Tylar if I have my doubts, won’t you?”
“Trey,” I leaned forward, now running my hand through my flat-ironed straight hair, “There is one thing that you have to know regardless of that picture that was sent to you.”
“I’m listening,” he replied.
"I was at the point with you that I couldn't live up to your expectations any longer. I knew that I couldn't be the person that you wanted me to be. As much as I cared
about you, I simply could not, would not allow myself to become some, some Stepford replicant.”
A tiny hint of amusement flickered over his face.
“So the night you called and Clint was there, it was just too much. I wasn’t giving up my friends simply because they were male. That is not a reasonable request, Trey. All the comments I got from my friends were that you want me as a possession only. I started to believe them. I started to feel that way as well. I’m not that person Trey. I could never be.”
“I see,” he replied, reflecting on my words.
“So anyway, after the phone call the night Clint was there and I told you that I was exercising my opt-out, Mark noticed at practice that I was in a funk. He invited me to have drinks with him. He walked me to the door of my cottage, and then he just kissed me. Someone took that picture. I thought it was Jenna, but she said no. Someone else took that picture, Trey.”
I watched his expression to see whether I could tell if he had instructed someone to keep an eye on me in his absence. I could tell by his concerned expression that he had played no part in it. I felt good about that for some reason.
“Anyway,” I continued, “the part that doesn’t show in that picture Trey is the part when I pushed Mark away. Similar to what I just did with you. I told him that I couldn’t, that the most we could be was friends. He apologized to me for the kiss. So there was no reason
for you to fire him.”
“So where does that leave us, Tylar?”
“I will assume the blame for all of this. I didn’t understand fully what your expectations were with respect to me. I should have asked for clarification at the time. I apologize to you for that, I guess my horniness got the best of me that night. I can’t be what you want me to be, Trey. I want love, I want commitment, but most of all, I want trust. I don’t see that happening with us.”
“I see,” he said once again, calmly. “Are you coming back to the estate, to work?”
"I guess that kind of depends on you. I love working
with the horses; I love training for dressage with Derringer. I respect that you are the boss there, Trey. I realize that I cannot pick and choose my job responsibilities. If it is your intention that I work over at Le Vie Belle with Jenna and the rest, well then I guess my answer is 'no thank you'. I will come back and get the rest of my belongings.”
“And if I say that you can continue working with Derringer, how would you feel about that?”
“I would love it,” I replied. “I don’t see how that is possible though, with you letting Mark go.”
“I may be able to persuade him to come back into my employment with the right incentives.”
“Do you even know where he went?” I asked.
“I believe I know where to reach him.”
I knew it. He did have someone tailing Mark.
I smiled, thinking how well I knew my Trey.
“There is one requirement that I would ask of you, Tylar.”
Uh oh, here it comes.
(Objection: Sexual harassment!)
“Yes?” I asked
“Since Ray has moved out of the first cottage nearest the stables, I would like for you to occupy it when you get back.”
I didn’t have an issue with moving to a different cottage, though I was puzzled as to the nature of the request.
“I think it may offer better safety being closer to the stables and the house. I don’t like the idea that someone is still out there taking pictures and harassing you. I will also put someone on security until we know exactly where all this is coming from. Are you in agreement with this?"
“Yes, that’s fine,” I answered.
“As for our personal relationship,” he continued, “What are your expectations there?”
I was not prepared for that question. It took me completely by surprise. I didn't think the terms were negotiable. I wasn't comfortable exploring the possibilities at this point in time. I guess I needed to be honest with Trey about that; otherwise it would lead to further
misunderstanding and disappointment.
“Trey,” I said softly. “I don’t for one minute regret anything that has happened between you and me. You have helped me deal with the ugliness of my past; you have taught me to discover exquisite things about my body and the magic that it can feel. You know everything about me yet I feel I know so very little about you. As I said before, things like love, commitment and trust – those are things that I want. Are you able to give me those things?”
Trey could not hide the distaste he had for discussing things of that nature. I could read that right away in his body language alone. He was out of his comfort zone.
“I’m not much of a believer in ‘happily ever after,’ Tylar. My experience has taught me to appreciate the here and the now; unfortunately my career and even my past relationships to a certain extent have taught me to trust no one but myself.”
“People are dynamic, not static,” he continued. “Things can change in a moment’s notice. People that you thought would love your forever suddenly don’t and vice-versa. Commitments can be the hangman’s noose. What you want at twenty-one may not necessarily be what you want at thirty. You’re young; you’ve not come to realize these realities yet. You still possess the idealism of youth to some degree. That’s not a bad thing, don’t get me wrong; enjoy and revel in it for as long as you can. Just know that it won't
last forever.”
I stood up slowly, getting ready to leave. I felt really sad for him.
“If I live to be a hundred, I pray to God that I am never as skeptical about love, life and human beings as you are at thirty, Trey.”
“Let me know how that works out for you, Tylar,” he replied, smiling slightly.
“I will be back at the estate by Monday morning, ready for work, then.”
"I look forward to seeing you there, brightening up the
landscape once again, Ms. Preston,” Trey replied, standing up and walking me to the door of his office.
He held his hand out to me and I shook it. Our business today was concluded it seemed. I waited until I had taken the elevator down from the penthouse and was safely on the ground floor in the lobby of Trey’s building. I called Gina on my cell phone. I was hoping she wouldn’t mind coming back down to pick me up. Things didn’t go exactly as I planned, but they could have gone worse.
“Gina, can you come and pick me up, please.”
“I’ll be there in five minutes; I’m only like four blocks away.”
“Hurry,” I said, my voice giving way to sobs.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
I was sleeping somewhat peacefully, at least more peacefully than I had in the weeks since the blow-up with Trey that had sent me packing to Atlanta. I realized that I truly loved him more than I could ever have imagined loving someone in my life. What I couldn’t deal with was his constant need to control everything in my life.
Of course, there was also the matter of his avoidance of love and commitment, and general mistrust in all human beings. How would that have ever worked? The emotional roller coaster had ceased now. I could handle an even keel even if it meant no more Trey for me.
Having my emotions in a constant state of upheaval was not where I wanted to be. He was a chameleon of emotions; sometimes loving, protective and sweet, other times cool, inflexible and aloof. I wasn’t going to take responsibility for his moodiness. It seemed that when we were together, the very qualities he said he appreciated in me were the ones that pissed him off. What a contradiction.
I had done well avoiding Trey these past several weeks. The dressage training with Derringer was going well. Mark and I were able to pick up where we had left off. The test was less than one week away. Mark continued to work on the choreography. He felt that both Derringer and I had the potential for a more advanced technical routine. We had increased our training schedules from a total of four hours per day to a total of six hours per day. Derringer was so easy to train. If only his master was so inclined.
I quickly erased that thought from my mind. The truth was I would rather live my life without Trey than to have him any different from the way he was. That had been my choice. I loved the man he was, but for me, it just didn’t work because of the woman I was. It didn’t mean that either of us was in the wrong. Incompatibility I suppose. It seemed as if both of us were victims of contradiction.
I finally realized what had awakened me from my
sleep. I could hear the horses in the stable making a ruckus. I glanced over at my clock on the dresser. It was 2:15 in the morning. I was starting to regret taking the cottage that Ray had vacated. When I had returned to Bristol from Atlanta, all of my things had been moved to Ray’s old cottage.
While the proximity to the stables made me feel safer, it was also a bit louder, in particular when something was riling the horses at this time of the morning. More than likely it was a barn cat or raccoon; some nocturnal beast that was about.
Finally, realizing that it wasn’t going to stop without some intervention, I got out of bed, pulling a pair of shorts on over my panties. I hadn’t been sleeping in anything slinky or sexy since I was no longer sleeping with Trey. I was sure the horses wouldn’t mind my attire of shorts, tee-shirt and boots. I was definitely not making a fashion statement this morning. I rummaged for a flashlight in the drawer of my night stand since the stars weren’t visible in the night sky
. Finally locating it, I tested it to make sure it was working and headed out the door.
There was a slight breeze in the air, the crickets were chirping. In the distance, an owl hooted creating just a bit of an eerie sensation. There was a light on in the tack room. I was now thinking perhaps someone was in there in which case, I was not going in until I could be sure who it was and what they doing in there at this time of the morning. I couldn’t imagine any legitimate reason for someone to be in there so late with no foals due for months.
I crept up along side of the stable and peered in to the corner of the window. The light was on in the tack room but I couldn’t see that anyone was in there. I moved directly in front of the window so that I could view the entire room. Nothing. I suppose it was possible a light had been left on, but that wouldn’t explain the horse’s behavior.
I opened the barn door just a crack and peered inside. The horses had quieted somewhat, but I could see that Derringer was restless, snorting about. It was then that I
I heard his voice, smooth and silky.
“Derringer buddy, how’s my girl been doing?”
Trey was drunk. I’d never heard his voice slurred. To the degree it was slurred now meant that he was fairly hammered.
“Did you see my girl today, huh? Well, I didn’t. I haven’t seen her for quite some time. Are you keeping a good eye on her for me? You better have my back on this one, Derringer. You let me know if Mark Montgomery fuckin’ touches her, you hear? No one can touch her except me. Isn't that right, buddy?”
I stifled a giggle. Confiding his innermost thoughts to a horse was so not Trey!
“Who am I kiddin’?” he asked the horse. “She won’t let me touch her anymore. You know why? I’m fucked up, that’s why! I smother her, I fucking smother her. I can’t help it Derringer, I love her. You know what that’s like, buddy? I guess not, seeing that you’re a gelding.”
Trey started chuckling to himself on that one.