All That I Am: A Victorian Historical Romance (The Hesitant Husbands Series Book 1)

Home > Other > All That I Am: A Victorian Historical Romance (The Hesitant Husbands Series Book 1) > Page 15
All That I Am: A Victorian Historical Romance (The Hesitant Husbands Series Book 1) Page 15

by Grace Hartwell


  She was not wearing much more. Aidan knew even being out here with her could prove dangerous. She was far too tempting to him when she was completely covered, let alone just wearing a nightgown that left her arms enticingly bare. He needed to excuse himself and return to bed.

  “You're not intruding,” she said, smiling at him. “I was just admiring the stars. Aren't they amazing? Like tiny little diamonds sparkling in the sky. They're absolutely spellbinding, don't you think?”

  He'd hardly given them a thought in years. “I couldn't agree more. I shall take my leave of you and let you enjoy them in peace.” He turned to go, but her voice stopped him.

  “They have stories, don't they?” she asked quietly. “The stars, I mean. Each constellation has a story behind it, right?”

  “Yes,” Aidan agreed. “Each has roots in mythology.”

  “Can you show me a constellation?” she asked, still staring up at the sky.

  Damn. Did she know what trouble she was inviting? “Elizabeth, I really should—”

  She put her finger to her lips and beckoned to him with her other hand. “Tell me a story,” she said softly.

  Aidan sighed. She was trusting him to behave himself, but he didn't know if he could. He gave in, however, and padded over to join her at the railing. They stood in silence for a moment, taking in the view side by side, and Aidan saw the stars through Elizabeth's eyes. It was like he was seeing them for the first time.

  “What's your favorite constellation?” Elizabeth asked, her voice a caress in the darkness.

  “Hmm…that's a tough one,” Aidan replied. “They all have such good stories. But personally, I like that of Cassiopeia. It's said that she was so vain that she bragged that she and her daughter were more beautiful than any other. This angered the sea nymphs, so Neptune sent a sea monster to ravage her village. After consulting an oracle, Cassiopeia and her husband were told the only way to stop the monster was to sacrifice their daughter, Andromeda, to it. She was rescued, however, by Perseus, and they were married and lived happily together for many years. Cassiopeia's punishment for her vanity was to be placed in a chair in the heavens, sometimes hanging upside down as a warning to others.”

  Elizabeth laughed. “That sounds like a fitting punishment. Where is she?”

  “Well, she's not visible this time of year. But there's another one,” he said, moving behind her and putting his hands on her shoulders, turning her slightly to the right. “Do you see that cluster of stars over there?”

  “No, where?”

  “Right there,” he said, reaching around her and pointing. Her head turned slightly to follow his aim, and her hair tickled his cheek.

  “I see them now,” she whispered, a hint of excitement in her voice.

  “That's Corona Borealis, the crown that was awarded to Ariadne for her loyalty to Theseus when he was sent to be sacrificed to the minotaur,” he said softly, returning his hand to her shoulder, his body smoldering at being so close to her. He caught the floral fragrance of her hair, and he wanted to just bury his face in the cascade of curls and inhale deeply. He was in very dangerous territory now. He had to leave before he did something incredibly stupid.

  But he simply couldn't force himself to move.

  “So vanity is punished and loyalty rewarded,” Elizabeth said, interrupting his thoughts. “It doesn't seem society has quite learned that lesson, does it?”

  Aidan chuckled softly. “Some of us have. Others need a little more time.” He kissed her on the temple, then rested his cheek there and sighed, pulling her ever so slightly against him.

  She leaned on him for a few moments, then turned to face him. His hands fluttered away from her briefly, then came to land again on her shoulders in a light caress. He slowly slid his hands down her arms to her elbows, reveling in the softness of her skin, continuing on down to slip his hands in hers. He bent his head closer to her and peered at her in the moonlight.

  “Don't go.”

  Elizabeth drew back in surprise. “I beg your pardon?”

  “Don't leave me. Not just yet. Please. I…I enjoy your company,” he floundered, not used to being in the position of so desperately wanting something that he was actually willing to beg for it. He didn't simply want her. He needed her.

  Elizabeth smiled sadly. “I have to go, Aidan. You and I both know that.”

  “Just one more day.” He squeezed her hand. “Please.”

  “Aidan, I—”

  “Come to the ball with me Saturday,” he blurt out.

  “What?”

  “There’s a ball hosted by the Duke and Duchess of Addendale on Saturday. It’s the start of the season. Surely Lainey must have mentioned it to you.”

  “Well, yes, but—”

  “Come with me. Us.”

  “Have you lost your mind?”

  “Possibly.” He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. “It’s just two days away. Just two. And then I’ll let you go, I promise.”

  Her eyes were suspiciously bright. “Aidan, you don’t know what you ask.”

  “Two more days. I just can’t…I can’t let you go just yet.” He stared at her for a moment, searching her eyes. Then he asked the question before he could stop himself, for he wasn't really sure he wanted to know the answer. “Do you not care for me, Elizabeth?”

  “Of course I care for you!” she exclaimed. “You must know that. I care for you very much.” She hadn't noticed that in her earnestness, she had rested her hand on his chest, her fingers just touching the bare skin at his throat. The instant she realized it, she moved to yank it back, but Aidan was too quick for her. He caught her hand with his own and flattened it against his chest.

  “It's all right to touch me,” he whispered huskily. She hesitated, but then she gave his chest a tentative caress. It sent shock waves through his body, which leapt to attention with alarming fierceness. Never had he wanted a woman so desperately as he wanted this one right now.

  He slowly drew her into his arms. When she didn’t resist, he leaned forward and kissed her forehead, her nose, and finally, each cheek. He brought his hand up to lightly touch her face and rested his forehead against hers. “Kiss me, Elizabeth, ” he whispered. “For the love of God, please kiss me.”

  Heaven help him, she did. Her lips were velvety soft against his, hesitant and sweet. He palmed her cheek, tilting her head and coaxing her lips apart. His tongue explored the sweetness of her mouth, softly at first, but then more demanding. A moan sounded deep in her throat, and he intensified the kiss. His hand made its way into her glorious mass of hair, and he marveled at its silkiness. He tightened his arm about her waist and drew her snug up against him, which was a terrible mistake. The feel of her luscious body with so little fabric between them fueled his flame of desire into a raging inferno in a matter of seconds, and it was all he could do to keep from yanking the fine lawn of her nightgown up around her thighs and burying himself in her right on the balcony. His hand wandered to one of her delicious breasts and he cupped it. Elizabeth immediately stiffened in his arms.

  Damn. He broke the kiss, realizing he’d gone to far. What was wrong with him? He wasn’t a randy twenty-year-old anymore. He should know how to behave himself. His breath came in heavy gasps, and he leaned his forehead forward to touch hers.

  “Come to the ball with me.”

  “I…I don’t have anything to wear.”

  “I’ll take care of that,” he said silkily, grazing her temple and her ear with his lips.

  “You always take care of things, don’t you?” she said breathlessly.

  “Yes.” He nuzzled her neck, inhaling her lilac perfume. He smiled to himself when she unconsciously tilted her head to allow him better access. “Say you’ll come with me,” he murmured, his lips enjoying her softness. “Please.” He waited. So long, he thought she would refuse. But then she sighed in resignation.

  “Yes. I’ll come.”

  He said a silent prayer of thanks. He had her for two more days. He would ma
ke the most of them. He forced himself to step back, then nodded at her.

  “Good night, Elizabeth.”

  And he walked away.

  Wait. What had she just agreed to? Damn the man! It was hardly fair of him to extract promises from her by drugging her with kisses.

  But then again, she had let him. Her willpower had taken a holiday the moment his lips had touched hers. His arms had been so warm around her, so gentle and reassuring. She’d felt…protected. What was it about this man that made her even consider…

  No. She’d promised herself, no more men. She would not give herself again, even to Aidan.

  Even if it broke her own heart.

  Chapter 24

  Aidan sighed heavily, checking the clock on the foyer table. “By the time we get there, the ball will be over.”

  Tibbs waited by the door. “I believe it’s called being fashionably late, my lord.”

  Aidan rolled his eyes at Tibbs’s explanation of the obvious.

  Lainey had not been pleased when Aidan first told her of his plans for this evening. She knew how cruel the ton could be to outsiders, especially those of ignoble origins.

  “The cats have claws, my dear, and they won’t hesitate to use them,” she said. “I do not want to see Elizabeth hurt after all she’s been through. You and Anne and I can only do so much to protect her.”

  “I strongly suspect she can take care of herself,” he replied. “I want to do this for her.”

  “For her?” Lainey shot him an amused smile. “I rather think it’s for you.”

  “And just what do you mean by that?”

  “You can’t bring yourself to let her go. When are you going to admit that you’re in love with her?”

  “Don’t be absurd. I’m not in love with her.” But the denial sounded feeble even to his own ears. “And I promised I would let her go after the ball. I won’t go back on my word.”

  Lainey took both of his hands in hers and kissed him on the cheek. “I love you, Aidan. But you are an idiot.”

  Aidan smiled at the memory. He did adore his sister, even when she was pointing out things he didn’t want to acknowledge.

  A slight rustling of silk sounded overhead, and Aidan turned to glance up the stairs.

  His breath stole from his lungs with a soft whoosh.

  He was quite sure that, just for a moment, his heart had actually stopped beating as his eyes took in the vision that was Elizabeth. She wore a pale blue silk gown that did amazing things to her eyes. The neckline was daringly low, showing off her lovely décolletage. Tissue silk in a matching shade of blue swept from the vee of her neckline to perch on the edge of her shoulders, and was captured there with cream-colored silk roses. Three rows of the tissue silk were swagged across the front, held with more cascades of roses, and brilliants winked out at him from their folds. Three huge loops of silk trailed down the back, and the whole ensemble ended in a froth of delicate ivory lace that trimmed the bottom edge of the skirt and the train. Her shining dark hair had been curled and swept up, a cascade of ringlets trailing down the back of her neck. In it were tucked the ivory roses Louisa had so thoughtfully sent over from her glasshouse for the occasion. Elizabeth was all creamy skin and wonderful curves, and Aidan couldn't take his eyes off of her.

  As he stood there staring at her, the jewels on her gown and in her hair sparkling in the candlelight, he came to a startling conclusion.

  His sister was right.

  Despite his best intentions, he had gone and fallen in love. He wasn’t entirely sure, but it might have happened the moment he had first laid eyes on her. He had looked into her eyes, and had seen his own soul reflected there. It had scared him to death, and he had done everything he could to ignore it.

  But Elizabeth was perfect for him. She was gracious and kind, intelligent and witty, and she understood him in a way no other woman ever had. But it was more than that. It was the way he felt when he was with her. Like his own life had been waiting for him to discover it.

  He knew in that instant that he couldn't let her go, promise or no promise. He had to find a way to convince her she belonged with him, no matter what her past.

  She came to a stop in front of him, looking up at him with a shy smile that told him how unsure of herself she really was. “You're staring,” she said softly.

  “You're stunning,” he countered, and he was rewarded with a charming blush.

  “I might say the same for you,” she replied, taking in the perfectly fitted trousers and tailcoat, set off with a snowy white shirt, waistcoat, and bow tie. “Richard is worth his weight in gold.”

  He chuckled. “I’ll thank you not to tell him that.” He drank her in with his eyes. “I daresay your dance card will be filled the moment we step through the door,” he teased. “Perhaps I should fill my name in now while I still can.”

  “You won't be doing any dancing if we don't actually leave the house,” came Lainey's voice from behind Elizabeth. Aidan blinked and tried to focus his eyes on his sister. He hadn't even noticed she was there.

  “Lainey. You look—”

  “Don't bother. I know you're not even seeing me right now.” She grinned and kissed his cheek. “You are such an idiot.”

  Aidan grinned back. “I know. You look radiant, Lainey. Forgive my tardiness in my observation.”

  “You're forgiven. Are we ready?”

  Aidan studied the two captivating women before him. “I think you forgot something.”

  Elizabeth glanced at Lainey, then down at her own gown, a miracle of a confection they’d pulled together with astonishing speed. When she looked back up to say nothing was missing, a gold pendant necklace was dangling from Aidan's hand.

  Her Celtic knot. It had taken Lainey four days to convince Elizabeth to let Aidan take it to a jeweler to have it cleaned and restored, but now it seemed he had had other plans. He had also bought a chain to go with it so she could wear it properly.

  He decided that tonight seemed the perfect night to do so. “May I?”

  “Oh, Aidan,” she breathed. She presented her back to him so he could put it on for her. The charm came to rest in the hollow of her throat, and she fingered it lovingly. “Aidan, you shouldn't have done this,” she whispered, her eyes bright.

  “It's a symbol of love,” he said softly, meaning more than the knot itself. “You should keep it close to your heart.”

  Forgetting that there were people watching them, Elizabeth raised her hand and laid it on Aidan's cheek. “Thank you.”

  They looked into each other's eyes for a moment, and probably would have stayed there longer had Lainey not cleared her throat.

  “We should be getting on our way. It’s going to be a crush. It’s too bad Gavin won’t be attending this evening,” she mused, a faint pout on her lips.

  “I don’t think he feels the same way,” Aidan said wryly. “But he’s doing me a favor by following up on something for me this evening. He said he would make an appearance if he could. Shall we?”

  He led the ladies out the door and handed them into the carriage, and they were off to the ball.

  Elizabeth hardly said a word on the drive over, and she tried not to panic as the carriage pulled up to the house. Mansion, actually. Elizabeth had never seen a residence so large in her life. She fixed her eyes on the gleaming set of about fifty marble steps that led up to the massive front door. Huge pillars graced the facade of the house, making for a two-story entrance that dwarfed the guests entering the house. A magnificent fountain gurgled nearby, and there were hundreds of spring flowers in bloom that perfumed the air. She was so awestruck that she didn't notice Aidan waiting for her with an outstretched hand.

  “It's much easier to dance if you don't stay in the carriage,” he teased. Elizabeth snapped to attention and blushed furiously.

  “I'm sorry…it's just…a little more than I anticipated.”

  “Don't be nervous. You'll be fine.” Aidan wrapped his hand around hers. “You look amazing,” he said sof
tly, a hint of encouragement in his voice. She smiled tentatively and allowed him to help her out of the carriage. A familiar voice called out to them the moment she set foot on the ground.

  “Ashby! Didn't anyone ever tell you that it's not fair to keep all the ravishing women to yourself?”

  Elizabeth turned to see Donovan MacKavoy striding toward them.

  “Damned selfish of me, isn't it?” Aidan returned, grinning.

  “Ladies, you are looking splendid this evening,” Donovan said, kissing each one's hand in turn. “Lady Elaine, you are a vision as always. And Miss Townsend…well, well, well. Couldn't have gone a little easier on the men this evening, my dear?” She blushed furiously at his compliment, and he smiled and looked over the top of her head at Aidan. “Might I encourage you to share, Ash, and let me escort one of these fine ladies into the ballroom so I don't have to trail behind you looking pathetically alone?”

  Aidan laughed and Lainey detached herself from his arm almost instantly. “I'd be happy to accompany you, Mr. MacKavoy. Thank you.” She took his offered arm and they preceded the other couple up the steps. Elizabeth's insides were quaking the entire journey. It seemed to take forever just to reach the front door, and then suddenly, it was swinging open and they were being ushered into the foyer.

  Elizabeth tried not to be astonished. The pink marble floor gleamed with the reflection of the huge crystal chandelier that hung overhead. There was an elegant double staircase that curved in opposite directions up to the second floor, and crowds of ladies in fine gowns and men in their evening blacks swarmed up and down it. In between the staircases was a set of gilded French doors that led to the ballroom. They were standing open, and Elizabeth could hear the conversation and music that was coming from within. There were people milling all about, and those who knew Aidan looked in his direction and nodded a polite hello. They were, however, less politely assessing her. She tightened her grip on Aidan’s arm.

 

‹ Prev