“Alex, honey, come sit down. We have some sad news to tell you.” her dad said.
Once she was seated, they both reached over and clasped hands with her.
“I’m so sorry sweetheart, Quinn’s grandfather passed away last night. I know how much Harry meant to you.”
Alex shook her head. “What are you talking about? He was fine last night at the party. He even danced with me!”
Her dad pulled her into a one-armed hug. “I know. He had a great time at the party but once everyone left, Anna says he sat down in his rocker on the porch and fell asleep and he passed away. It was very peaceful for him.”
Tears started pouring down her face as a hundred memories of Harry rushed through her mind. That man had been in her life since the day she was born and had treated her like a granddaughter. She was devastated and couldn’t even imagine how Quinn must be feeling. Harry had taken on the role of father to Quinn when his son and daughter-in-law had died. She had to go to him.
Alex pulled away from her parents and jumped to her feet. “I have to go. I have to go to Quinn.”
She left her parents there and raced out of the house. She ignored the people standing around in the yard that were there to help with the work of putting food and wood up for the coming winter. She had one goal and it was to get to Quinn as quickly as possible. That meant burning some carefully rationed gas. Where normally they walked or took the horse drawn wagon anywhere they needed to go, today she didn’t care. It only took seconds to fire up one of the farm’s ATVs and head out across the field towards Quinn’s place. By the time she hit the edge of the barnyard she had managed to get her tears under control.
It was no surprise to see many wagons, horses and other ATVs already parked around the barn. Harry Dennison was a pillar of the community and it was due to his experience and cool head that a lot of people had survived the event that changed everything. He would be greatly missed by all.
When Alex shut her machine off, she heard the sound of another racing towards her. Seconds later, Josh came to a halt and parked next to her. His face was pale and tears leaked down his face. As much as Josh was a goof, he had the biggest heart of them all. He didn’t say anything as he dismounted and pulled her into a bear hug, making her own tears surge back. He finally let her go and cleared his throat.
“Have you seen him yet?”
Alex couldn’t speak through the sob in her throat so she just shook her head. Josh took her arm and the headed towards the house but the sound of an axe hitting wood had them veering around to the backside of the barn. That’s where they found Quinn. He was only wearing a drenched in sweat t-shirt, despite the cool morning air, as he poured his emotions into destroying each piece of wood. They waited patiently for him to acknowledge them, but minutes passed as he just kept swinging the axe. Josh finally stepped towards him.
“Quinn, you should ease up, man. You’re going to hurt yourself.”
Neither Josh nor Alex was prepared for the rage filled eyes that lifted up to meet theirs. His voice was filled with bitter anger.
“His pills ran out two weeks ago. All they had to do was tell me and I could have gone looking for more! That stubborn bastard held out until after the harvest was in and then just left. He left Grams and me here alone to do this by ourselves! How could he do that? How am I supposed to take over for him?”
Alex rushed towards him, stunned by his harsh words but knowing it was the grief talking.
“Quinn, Quinn don’t say that! Harry would never leave you willingly and you’re not alone. I’m here, and Josh and the others, plus the whole town will be here to help, too.”
Quinn evaded her outstretched hands and spun away.
“Just leave me alone, Alex. You have no idea what you’re talking about!”
Josh had come up right behind Alex and he tried to reason with his best friend.
“Come on Quinn, you know we’re all here for you. I’m sorry about Harry, he was a great man and it’ll be hard to fill his shoes but we’ll all work together. We’ll all be here for you and your Grams.”
Quinn made a strangled bellow of rage before turning and throwing the axe overhand towards the barn. The blade bit into the wood halfway up the wall, quivering from the force of the throw.
“Just leave me the hell alone!”
Alex and Josh stood in disbelief and watched as Quinn stalked away towards the woods. Neither of them had ever seen him display anything more than mild anger before. This violent rage was completely opposite of his personality.
Josh finally tugged Alex away and they headed towards the house to pay their respects to Harry’s wife, Anna.
“He’ll be ok. It’s just the grief hitting him. Give him some time to come to terms with it, Alex.”
All she could do was nod her head and hope that Josh was right.
Chapter Two
It seemed that the death of Harry Dennison was a trigger that started a chain reaction of bad things to come. The day after he was laid to rest, the weather turned and freezing temperatures and snow blanketed the town. No one could ever remember winter coming so early before and most believed that it was the effects of nuclear winter. It became obvious after the first week that people wouldn’t be able to heat all the homes being occupied, so families were forced to triple up to conserve heat.
Alex’s family home was a large sprawling farmhouse with four wood burning fireplaces and a pellet stove. Her dad had switched the backup generator for the house to propane a few years back, but had kept an old trailer mounted diesel generator in running condition as well that they could use for the outbuildings if needed. They ran them off and on when they needed a boost of heat from the furnace or pellet stove, or to pump up water from the well. A large propane tank supplied the backup generator for the house and the furnace, but that had to be conserved as much as possible to make sure they made it through the winter. Wood burning stoves were created from old barrels and then installed with exhaust ducts in almost every room to help heat the home.
The sound of wood-chopping and chainsaws filled every minute of the waning daylight for weeks as they prepared to stock enough to survive the cold winter to come. In between wood gathering details, the teens helped scavenge old parts for Josh as he worked on getting snowmobiles running. They had spent a lot of winters in the past sledding for fun, so each family in their group had at least two machines in their barns or sheds but some of the newer models were filled with electronics and completely dead. They knew they would be stuck in place once the roads became deep with snow and they all wanted to be able to travel at least to each other’s farms.
Alex’s house filled up with more people than had ever lived in it. Dara and her little brother Jake had been living in the camper the teens had brought back from California. It had kept them comfortably over the summer, but the dropping temperatures were too much so she and Jake moved into to Alex’s room for the winter.
Alex’s brother Peter, his wife Susan, and their newborn baby arrived the day after the first snowfall. They were a welcome addition to the home and Alex’s parents were thrilled to have all of their family safely under their roof.
Not so welcome was the family assigned to them from town. It had been agreed to at a town meeting that families doubling and tripling up would bring supplies to share and help with the many chores it now took to survive a single day without modern conveniences. A single woman and her three little boys were assigned to stay with them for the duration of the winter. The mother’s name was Jessie and she brought bags of dirty clothes, three undisciplined boys under the age of eight and lots of complaints.
With seven adults, four little boys and one baby crammed into her house, Alex was ready to break by the first week of December. Quinn had pretty much stopped talking to her and the rest of their friends and with the weather being so harsh, they were practically trapped on the property, causing her own rage to build day by day. Her life seemed to only consist of farm chores, kitchen chores, laundry chores
and trying not to freeze any parts on her body. She never seemed to have any space or time alone and it was taking its toll.
When the first week of December passed with no one mentioning the holidays, Alex woke up determined to have some cheer back in her life. As she helped wash the breakfast dishes one morning with her mom, she brought it up.
“Mom, why don’t we stay inside today and put up all the Christmas decorations? Dad and Peter could go cut us a tree. It would be nice to have some fun for a change.”
Before Alice Andrews could reply, Jessie, who was sitting in her customary seat beside the fireplace doing her thousandth Sudoku puzzle jumped in.
“Oh my God, can we have pie? I’d kill for pie. I’m so sick of all the plain food we eat here!”
Alex clenched her teeth and kept silent, determined to keep her hopeful mood alive for one day.
Alice set the dish she was drying down on the counter and turned to reply to the woman in a very neutral tone.
“I’m sorry you don’t enjoy my cooking Jessie. Perhaps you could cook a meal for everyone tonight?”
Jessie scrunched up her nose before turning back to her puzzle. “No, that’s ok. I just meant you could add in some spices or something sometimes. It just gets a little bland, you know?”
Alice turned back to the sink and picked up another dish to dry. Alex glanced at her from the corner of her eye and saw her mom was trying very hard not to answer the woman. She finally looked her way and smiled.
“Yes, let’s do that. I think everyone could use a little holiday cheer. We can decorate the house and plan to have a special Christmas meal…with pie.”
Mother and daughter shared a knowing smile with each other but were interrupted by a crash of breaking glass from the living room followed by the sounds of yelling boys that almost drowned out the sudden wail of a baby crying.
They both turned quickly away from the sink to see what had happened now with the young terrors living in their home but were stopped in their tracks by Jessie’s screech.
“Oh my God! I can’t concentrate with all this racket!” Her frustrated face turned towards them and she snapped, “Alex, go play with those boys and get them settled down!”
Last straw, last, final, done was all Alex could think. All the hope she had for a better day vanished as red fury filled her vision.
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Who the hell do you think you are? You come into our home and contribute nothing, NOTHING! You sit there day after day for over a month now doing your stupid puzzles while the rest of us cook, clean and serve you. Your three brats run wild with no supervision by you and they wreck everything they touch and all you do is COMPLAIN! I am not your nanny. Get off your lazy butt and take care of them yourself!”
Alex was so filled with fury from all that had happened since the lights went out and she finally found an outlet for her anger. She had no idea that she was screaming at the top of her lungs and that everyone in the house was rushing to the kitchen when Jessie snarled back at her.
“How dare you talk to me with such disrespect? You have no idea how hard it was for me and the boys when the power went out! Those monsters came here and treated us like cattle. They taunted us and barely fed us every day. It was traumatizing! I’m sorry if me escaping into my “stupid” puzzles bothers you, but it’s my way of coping with what I went through.”
Alex didn’t see her father, brother or Dara come into the room. All she could see was the weak pathetic excuse for a person who wanted her to feel sorry for her.
“What a trauma!” she said sarcastically. “You had to sit in a gym with a little bit less food and have people be mean to you. Boo hoo, poor you! Do you have any idea what’s out there in the real world? I crossed a country never knowing each day if I would live or die to the next one. I had a biker gang hang me on a wall by hooks so they could rape me and then I was forced to kill them all just to live another day. I had to cut open my boyfriend’s body and dig bullets out of it not knowing if it would kill him or save him. And then! Then, I finally get home and find my family enslaved and AGAIN, I’m forced to kill more people. I’ve seen heaps of dead bodies of people I knew and liked thrown away like garbage and girls I used to go to school with used for their bodies. So, tell me again just how TRAUMATIZED you are!”
Her chest was heaving at the raw emotion finally flowing out of it as a whimpering Jessie fled the room. It felt so good to get some of the pain out but it left her weak in the knees and feeling like she needed to vomit. Her eyes met Dara’s across the room and she saw the same feelings mirrored in her friend’s eyes. No one could understand what they’d been through and it was all still there bubbling under the surface.
“Alex, did that really happen? My God baby, why didn’t you tell us?” Her mother asked in a tortured whisper as she reached out a shaking hand to her little girl.
Alex, swallowed hard and shoved tears from her cheeks and then gave a sharp nod.
“I’m sorry, you didn’t need to know that. It’s in the past and I’d like to leave it there.”
Her father’s face was bone white with grief and shock as he stepped towards her.
“Alex, we can’t just forget about it. We need to talk about this. You need to tell us everything sweetheart.”
Alex felt like a trapped bird and her eyes flew around the room looking for an escape route as she quickly shook her head. No, she couldn’t talk to them about it, not now, maybe never. It was just the anger at that woman that made her even speak of it. Her brother quickly stepped between her and her dad and grabbed her by the shoulders. His face was firm and understanding.
“No, you don’t need to talk about it. Not now, if you want to one day then we can but you don’t need to do it today. Go, go on out and get some air. Dara will go with you. I’ll… I will talk to Mom and Dad. Everything is ok, Alex. Go on, little sister.”
Alex could barely contain the sob of relief that was growing in her chest as she turned away from her big brother and flew around her mom to the back door. Her feet dropped into her boots and her hand snagged her jacket as she shoved the door open to the frigid cold. The bitter air slapped her in the face as she struggled to pull her jacket on and get control of her breathing. She was furious and so sad all at the same time. She didn’t know what to do or where to go so she just stood there. Faint sounds of raised voices came from inside the house. She heard her brother’s voice yelling something about PTSD and it caused all the anger to drain away and shame to replace it. All she had wanted was a happy day where she didn’t have to think about everything that had happened in the last nine months. Instead, she brought heartache and pain to her loved ones.
After ten minutes the door behind her opened and slammed closed, causing her to flinch. It filled her with relief when it was Dara who walked around her. She stood like a child as her friend dressed her in a hat, scarf and mittens.
“Dara, I just…”
Dara shook her head. “Come on, it’s too cold out here. Let’s go fire up the motorhome and burn some propane.”
The girls walked across the yard to where the camper that had brought them home and gave them shelter was parked. There were snow banks piled high around three sides of it leaving the side door and exhaust pipe cleared. Even though Dara and Jake had moved into the house once the real cold had hit, she had been keeping it clear of snow and running it for a few minutes every day to keep it operational. Alex wasn’t the only one that needed a little space from all the people crammed into the house.
The girls settled into the small dinette and sat in silence as the air slowly warmed around them from the blowing propane furnace. Once it was warm enough to remove their hats, scarves and mittens, Dara reached over and grasped Alex’s hand.
“It’s ok to feel this way. All of us are messed up from what happened on the trip. I don’t think any of us has really talked about everything that happened.”
Alex lowered her eyes and let out a breath. “How am I supposed to talk to them about all that? The
y still see their little girl when they look at me. That’s not who I am anymore! The things I saw, the things I’ve…done, have changed me.” Alex looked around the small space inside the camper and shook her head. “We fought so hard to get back here and free our people but all I really want now is to drive this camper out of here and run away. As scary as the trip was, I MISS us, I miss all of us being together, being a team that just plows ahead and gets what needs to be done, done.”
Dara nodded, “Yeah, I miss it too. I mean, I’m happy to not have bullets flying my way and knowing Jake is safe is a huge relief but I miss our team and being with them all.” She peered through the frosted window towards the house in thought before turning back to Alex. “I think this is why soldiers do it. Why they keep re-enlisting for tour after tour. Having a team, having a mission, it’s like it gives them a more meaningful reason to get up every day. We were soldiers for a while there and now we just go through the motions of living each day. It kind of feels empty.”
“That’s exactly how I feel! Now there’s so much time that I think about everything that happened way too much. I wake up angry, I go to bed angry and it just seems to get worse every day! I need... I need to do something, but I don’t know what to do! It makes it even harder to deal, with all of us spread out and hardly seeing each other. Add in Quinn basically dumping me the day after he asked me to marry him and I’m ready to shoot someone. It’s probably a good thing that we hid away most of the guns we brought back or I’d have probably shot that woman this morning!” Alex joked.
Dara smirked, “Well, I don’t think you have to worry about her anymore. Your dad’s taking her and her kids back into town this afternoon. They’ll find another family to take them in and we’ll probably get some others. After you left the house, he said he’d had enough of them. I guess he’d already been putting out feelers to move them before the big blowout today.”
STRANDED: Box Set: Books 1-6 Page 80