by Jen Talty
Only, he couldn’t find it.
He could understand how Cheyenne could do this to him, but not to her own kid. All she had to do was text or call. It wasn’t too much to ask, and it certainly would be the respectful thing to do, but for now, he’d squelch his anger.
Hugging his precious little boy, he closed his eyes, taking a big whiff of his baby shampoo. Jimmy loved freely. He reminded him a lot of JB’s mother. She’d been a kind and loving soul who always saw the good in people and forgave the bad, no matter what. Well, at least that’s what everyone said about her. Honestly, all he really remembered was that when he’d been with her, he felt like he was the most important person in her world.
“JB?” Cheyenne whispered as she cracked open the door.
He blinked open one eye. He didn’t really want to move. He wanted to hold on to Jimmy a few minutes longer, but there would be other cuddle sessions. Gently, he rolled his son to the side and followed Cheyenne downstairs, biting the inside of his cheek. The desire to rip her a new one filled his heart. “Where have you been? I’ve had half this ranch out looking for you.” He stood in front of the fireplace with his hands in his pockets, glaring.
“I know. I’m sorry. I left my phone at JW’s place; otherwise, I would have texted you that I was fine.” She held up her hand when he opened his mouth. “JD gave me a ride back here; the search party was called off.”
JB patted his pockets.
No cell.
He turned toward the end table next to the sofa and sure enough, there it was, and as soon as he picked it up, the screen flashed with messages from everyone in his family.
And, of course, Cheyenne.
He tucked it in his back pocket, not bothering to read them. “I need a drink. Want one?”
“I could use a glass of wine, thanks.”
He made his way to the bar, opened the wine cooler, and pulled out a cab he’d cracked open yesterday and poured two extra-large glasses. All of the Whiskey siblings had a taste for the vino thanks to Chuck Holland, the man who used to own Whiskey Ranch. The same man who employed their parents and who took them in after the train crash.
Handing her a glass, he made himself comfortable on the sofa and took a long sip and waited. She owed him an explanation, but he wasn’t going to demand it, or beg for it. Not this second anyway.
“How was Jimmy? He often won’t go to sleep without me. Even Katie had a hard time getting him down, so I’m impressed.”
“I’m his father.”
“That you are.” She plopped down on the sofa next to him and raised her glass, tapping his with a tiny clink. “But seriously, what did you do? You haven’t seen it yet, but that boy can throw one hell of a temper tantrum.”
“I just asked him what mommy did, and I followed what he wanted. He was out before I finished the story.”
“And you let him sleep in my bed, which isn’t really a bad thing, but a habit I don’t want to get back into.”
“I can understand that,” he said. “But he kept asking me when you were coming home, and I couldn’t give him an answer, so I thought that was the best thing.”
“Agreed.”
A long silence filled the room. He stared off at nothing, making sure his gaze landed on anything but her. She’d always had a way of captivating him, and at one time, he thought he’d do whatever she wanted and not think twice about it.
He wouldn’t make that mistake again.
“You don’t have questions for me?” she asked, finally breaking the silence.
“I have so many I wouldn’t know where to begin, so I’m going to let you tell me what you want.”
“Let me start with I’m sorry.” She turned and faced him, tucking one foot under her butt.
But he still didn’t look at her; instead, he kept his gaze on her pink toenails. “For what?”
“For making you and your family worry. I reacted badly, and once I had some time and space, I realized what I had done, and I came back.”
That got his attention and he snapped his gaze to hers. “You weren’t planning on coming home at all tonight?”
“I was out of my mind after helping Kitty deliver her baby, but no,” she said, twisting her hair and pulling it over her shoulder. “I ran off with no intention of returning until tomorrow.”
“Why?” he asked. “And I really want to know all the details. Genuinely. I need to understand.” He couldn’t afford making rash judgments about her or her decisions. About anything, past, present, or future. Full-out honesty was the only way they would get past the hurt and anger they both had for one another and start fresh.
Which they had to do for the sake of their son.
“It was the perfect storm for me to have a meltdown, especially when I handed you their little girl.”
He sucked in a harsh breath as he grappled with the reality that he hadn’t been there for her and Jimmy. It no longer mattered what the circumstances were; they’d both made mistakes, and they both paid a huge price.
“After you refused my calls and changed your number, I decided to just move on without you, but then I ended up on bed rest after going into early labor. I was so angry with you that I just couldn’t reach out.” She swirled the wine, and he concentrated on the red liquid hugging the sides of the glass. “I was also focused on making sure I did whatever it took to have a healthy child, but the delivery didn’t go so well. It was long and hard, and it took a lot out of me.”
“JW was terrified today.” JB set his glass on the table and took hers from her hand, resting it next to his before he inched closer, looping his arm over the back of the sofa. “So was I. And all I could think about was you and Jimmy. And the fact that I wasn’t there.”
Cheyenne’s eyes filled with tears. “Being angry at myself for what I’d done didn’t help matters. And after thirty-six hours of labor—”
“Jesus. That long? I can’t imagine.”
“Well, I had some good drugs, so much of it I wasn’t in pain,” she said.
However, that really didn’t make him feel any better for not being by her side, holding her hand, telling her it would all be okay. He should have been the one to soothe her anxiety.
Instead, all he had done was create more of it.
“I blamed myself when Jimmy didn’t take a breath when he was first born. It was three minutes of me screaming at the doctors, trying to sit up while they worked on him.”
JB’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. He pulled her closer, rubbing his hand up and down her arm. “But he’s okay now. Everything worked out, and there is nothing to worry about anymore.” God, he hoped there wasn’t any underlying condition she was keeping from him.
She nodded.
“And it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Perhaps not, but it felt that way.” She swiped at her cheeks. “I didn’t get to hold him for hours, and he struggled to breathe for the first day. He was on oxygen and hooked up to all sorts of machines. I thought I was being punished.”
“You know that’s not true.” He kissed her temple. “Things happen that are out of our control.”
“Once he was out of the woods and the doctors assured me that he would be fine, though, they kept him for a week, and for the first year of his life, he had to see a specialist. I still worried about him day and night. That’s another reason I did everything I could to keep him and myself out of the media.”
“You were smart to quietly disappear versus making an announcement. Honestly, it made it easy for people not to speculate, including myself. Even after you and Scott split, which didn’t make much of a splash either. I’m kind of surprised he didn’t act like an ass about it.”
“He had a bruised ego, and then he met his current wife and just couldn’t be bothered, to which I’m eternally grateful. He’d hurt me by selling our house and my car and taking what little money we had and we were able to call it sort of even. He and his wife just had a little girl. She’s adorable. But that
too just reminded me of all the things I screwed up, and then I saw Jimmy racing toward you, running into your arms. It was a beautiful moment.”
“Shockingly gorgeous.” He tipped her chin. “I understand why this afternoon was so hard for you, and I’m sorry I was so insensitive.”
“You couldn’t have known. Hell, I had no idea I was going to snap. I’ve only wanted what was best for Jimmy.”
“Your heart is in the right place.” He tapped his index finger between her breasts and smiled. “That’s all that really matters.”
4
Cheyenne glanced down at JB’s hand, which lingered dangerously close to what little cleavage she had. One good deep breath and a slight twist of her body and his finger would brush across her nipple. It would be so easy to lean a little closer, then bat her long thick lashes and lick her lips before whispering his name. He’d always been a sucker for the subtly obvious.
He didn’t like games, but he sure as hell liked the chase.
“You’re smirking,” he said.
“So are you.”
“I think we both might be about to get ourselves into a bit of trouble.” He traced a line from the center of her chest up her neck and across her lips.
She swallowed her breath. “This probably isn’t a good idea.”
“I would concur.” He fisted a good hunk of her hair and gave it a little tug. He lowered his chin and pressed his warm lips on her neck.
She shivered, and a deep moan vibrated against the back of her throat.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked.
“That depends on if you’re asking my body or my brain, though the latter isn’t thinking too…oh, God.”
He cupped her breast, while he licked a path over her skin, across her chin. “You were saying.” He reached inside her shirt, finding her nipple and giving it a good pinch.
She arched into him, biting down on her lower lip. “I can’t think when you do that.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing.”
Before she could pretend to protest more, his mouth clamped down around her areola and he gave it a good suck. She clutched his shoulders, digging her nails into his skin. No one made her feel the way JB did. She hadn’t been with a man since that she hadn’t wished had been him. Every lover paled in comparison, and so she just gave up trying to find the kind of pleasure JB offered and settled for less.
She’d forgotten how long it had been. Six months? Maybe seven. Did it even matter? Other than her ex-husband, they had been nameless, faceless men. All she’d wanted or needed was the physicality of sex. The human need to be touched and desired.
But even that had fallen short, leaving her dissatisfied and resorting to personal pleasure toys that did the trick much better anyway, allowing her to fantasize and remember the only man that ever made her truly feel like a whole woman anyway.
He lifted her shirt over her head and tossed it to the side.
“We should go somewhere where we can close the door. Just in case Jimmy wakes up,” she said. “He sometimes wanders.”
“Good idea.” JB lifted her into his arms.
“Whoa there, cowboy. No need to do that.” She laughed. She hadn’t felt this playful with a man since…since…well, since the last time she’d been with JB. He had a way of making her feel like the center of the universe. As if she were the only one who mattered in his world. “I’m capable of walking.”
“I know you are, but then I wouldn’t be able to toss you on the bed.” He climbed the stairs with a smile as wide as a kid on Christmas.
Deep down she knew she shouldn’t sleep with JB. But maybe this could be a way to heal old wounds and make a fresh start.
They tiptoed past Jimmy’s room, stopping to take a peek. Their son lay blissfully asleep, hugging his blanket.
JB gently set her on the king-size bed in his room before turning and locking the door. “Is that okay? I wouldn’t want him walking in.”
“If he wakes up, he’ll yell for me. More like scream, so yes. Good call.” She wiggled out of her shorts and kicked back the comforter.
He stood at the foot of the bed and raked a hand through his dark-brown hair. “Take off the rest.”
She shook her head. “Not until you show me some skin.” Cupping her breasts, she teased him by lowering the fabric of her bra, but not revealing to him the goods.
He tossed his T-shirt to the floor, exposing his well-defined pectoral muscles and ripped stomach. His fingers looped over the top button of his pants and plucked it open. Slowly, he lowered the zipper. “Shall I remove it all at once?”
“Please.” Unhooking the clasp on her bra, she tossed it at him. Her nipples puckered in the cool air-conditioning.
“Hmmmmmm. Nice view.” He dropped his pants and underwear to the floor and stood before her proudly, and rightfully so.
She’d never forgotten how incredibly magnificent his body had been. She knew every supple inch and curve. Her gaze lowered and she swallowed. Hard. Describing him as large would be the correct term. Massive would be overkill, and she was sure many men had dicks of that caliber.
Only she’d just never laid eyes on one.
Nor experienced them between her legs.
Their first time had been a bit of a challenge for her. Not as if it had been her first time, but it had been a bit of a tight squeeze.
She let out a chuckle as he climbed on the bed, yanking her panties to her ankle.
“Are you laughing at the first time we had sex?” he asked.
“It was kind of a dumb thing to say. I mean, who the fuck asks a man if they feel like they are fucking a virgin every time.”
He kissed the backside of her knee. “A woman who hasn’t seen many men naked, much less been with them because really, while I’d like to say I’m King Kong—”
“Oh, my God.” She covered her mouth, trying hard not to burst out laughing. “Don’t ever compare yourself to your brother’s dogs. That’s just gross.”
“Yeah. I didn’t think that through. But the point is, we need to get you a dirty magazine filled with men’s cocks because I’m not that spectacular.”
“Can’t say I’ve ever seen one as nice or as large as yours since I left Whiskey Ranch.”
“That really makes my day, because I can be a jealous man, and right now, we need to stop talking or my glory will be no more.”
“We can’t have that.” She sat up, stretching out her arm and curling her fingers around him, squeezing gently.
He hissed. “You’re being naughty.”
“You know it.” She pressed her lips against his stomach. It twitched.
Threading his fingers through her hair, he knelt on the bed. “Do with me what you want.”
She glanced up at him, letting her fingers trace a path over the tip and down the long hard shaft with a featherlike stroke.
His lids lowered over his eyes, and his chest rose as he took in a breath, letting out a growl as he massaged her scalp. “The more you tease me, the more I’ll tease you back.”
“If you recall, that’s the best way to bring me right to the edge.”
“You’re the devil.”
She smiled just before she brought her lips to him, slowly letting him slide into her mouth, taking as much as she could, which wasn’t much, but she gripped him harder with her hand and stroked the rest, all while watching him stare at her with a lust-filled gaze.
He made her feel admired.
Desired.
Adored.
There hadn’t been a time when they’d been together in the past that she hadn’t believed she’d been the center of his world, which is why his sudden unwillingness to speak to her had nearly crushed her altogether. Not that she thought he loved her, not even close.
But she had thought he cared.
Well, maybe he did.
Yes. He did. Or he wouldn’t be here, with her, like this, right now. That she knew to be a fact.
He yanked her head back.
“Too much f
or you?” She fell back on the bed.
“You are definitely too hot to handle,” he said with a growl as he shamelessly pushed open her legs and let out a long breath. “I say this at the risk of being slapped, but I have never seen anything so pretty.” He shoved his index finger in his mouth and pressed it on her belly, gliding it down her body before rubbing it over the sweet spot.
“Dear God.” She tossed her head back, gripping the sheets.
He dipped his finger deep inside and then repeated the motion, adding a second finger. “I’ve missed this body.”
“Yeah. Why is that?” It seemed like a silly question to ask, but she wanted to hear the answer. She needed to know that she’d left the kind of impact he’d told her she would when they’d first gotten together.
“Because no one has ever responded to me the way you do,” he said. “Ready?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know,” she managed, mentally preparing herself for the onslaught of sensations that only visited her in her dreams.
He’d been the only man who could make her orgasm in a matter of a few minutes. And so intensely that it took her breath away. He knew her body better than she did, and she used to want to resent him for it. She figured he was like this with all women he slept with, but he promised her that it didn’t work that way.
And she believed him.
He sucked on his finger before diving between her legs. His velvet tongue swirled over her and in her like the ocean waves crashing into the shore over and over again. Retreating, taking away a tiny piece of the beach, only to bring it back with a second and third wave.
Squeezing her eyes shut, she let the sensations take over her body. It started as a tickle on the tip of her big toe and slowly worked its way up to her ankle, gaining in strength as it created a ripple effect over her calf, across her knee, spreading like a wildfire, filling her belly.
His hands kneaded her breasts, rolling her nipples between his fingers, intensifying the flame burning deep in her soul.
Digging her heels into the bed, she took ahold of his hair and braced for impact, but nothing could really ever prepare her for the volcano that would soon erupt.