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by Paek Nam-nyong


  “Take the umbrella. Your clothes are going to get wet.”

  “I’m already wet,” barked Seok Chun. He then sneered, “Why don’t you use the other one yourself?”

  It was a derisive response. He knew that it would be silly for her to use two umbrellas, so he snickered. Then he thought that if Sun Hee had come out with the intention of meeting him, his behavior tonight would appear despicable. Nonetheless, he did not slow down and kept walking toward his dormitory. He did not hear footsteps following him, so he assumed Sun Hee remained standing where he had left her. Though he wanted to, he did not look back, instead forcing himself to keep his head still. He thought that even the slightest glance would betray weakness, so he pressed on to his room.

  Seok Chun had once had uncontainable feelings for the village, the countryside, the warm sun, the cool air, and the lush hills. But now, none of his surroundings satisfied him as he trudged along the muddy path. He regretted ever coming here. By tomorrow, his duties here would be completed, and he would return to his hometown. With all these complicated thoughts whirling in his head, he proceeded to walk with determination, resolved to abandon all the feelings he had had for Sun Hee.

  That was last night. And now the woman Seok Chun wanted to forget was approaching him onstage with a bundle of flowers. Seok Chun tried to ignore her and solemnly looked at the audience. But he could not remain calm and stole glances at Sun Hee from the corner of his eye. He felt nervous, and his heart raced like the heart of someone who had committed a crime, anxious and deeply distressed. He had no means of escaping from Sun Hee’s presence. When he saw Sun Hee in the traditional Korean dress and with flowers in her arms approaching him, he felt his knees buckle. Seok Chun was not able to subdue his impassioned emotions. He felt as if he were caught up in a whirlpool, his senses thrown into disarray. This was because Seok Chun truly longed for Sun Hee. He wanted her to forgive him for his inappropriate behavior the other night.

  Sun Hee approached Seok Chun, who was third in line.

  “You’ve really worked tirelessly for us,” whispered Sun Hee with a coy smile.

  Sun Hee acted as if nothing had happened between them the night before and presented the bundle of flowers to Seok Chun with both hands. This time, it was not an umbrella but flowers. He was intoxicated by her perfume, and his distraught emotions dissipated. Seok Chun’s heart melted with delight at the sound of Sun Hee’s tender voice.

  After the ceremony thanking the three men and the technicians, there was a performance by the Factory Arts Committee. It was a simple performance, amateur at best.

  However, when Sun Hee got up onstage, the ordinary became extraordinary. Members of the audience applauded loudly, expressing their pride at having a worker with such talent at their factory. Sun Hee clasped her hands together and sang in a sweet lyrical tone, projecting the calm of a seasoned professional.

  Seok Chun realized that Sun Hee was beyond his reach, an angel who dwelled in the celestial world who would never embrace, adore, or cherish an unsophisticated man like himself. The thought of his love being forever unrequited brought pain to his heart, his entire being. His body felt feeble at the very thought of having to dismiss his love for her. He felt a despairing certainty, which he had resisted, but, in the end, needed to accept.

  While Sun Hee lured the audience into the sublime world of music, Seok Chun watched from a reserved distance. He could not participate in the festivities. He became more and more forlorn, overwhelmed with melancholy. He recalled the determination that he had made the night before in the rain while trudging home and recognized that it was the correct decision and that he must carry it out. He realized that a duck and a swan swimming in the same pond could not overcome the most apparent obstacle of their intrinsic difference. The duck would never be the swan’s mate, as their different lives would lead to different destinies. He could not listen to the rest of the song, so he abruptly got up and left the hall.

  It was a bright moonlit evening. He walked past the courtyard in front of the meeting hall and headed toward the small park surrounded by tall, dense willow trees. Seok Chun entered the darkness cast by the shadows of the trees. The moonlight could penetrate neither the park nor the solitude of Seok Chun’s soul. He sat on a rock, which was still warm from baking in the sun all afternoon. He felt dejected, like a man who has lost his will to live. He was angry with himself and also sorry for himself. Why was he agonizing over a childish infatuation, over a woman who was beyond his reach? He had determined to forget about Sun Hee, but he deeply wanted his feelings for her to persist. He regretted his foolish behavior of the night before, when his words, which he had intended to use to express his love for her, had instead been cynical, deriving from his frustration and embarrassment. Yet he loved her, he still desired her. He felt that he had neither the strength nor the courage to control his emotions.

  He decided to leave at dawn without anyone knowing, without a word, while the villagers were still asleep. He thought that if he left, his love for Sun Hee would subside, gradually fading into oblivion, and then his troubled heart would be able to find solace and regain its peace in solitude. Yet he could not forget the factory, to which he had grown attached. He did not want to leave because of Sun Hee. His heart would not find peace in an abrupt departure. He tried to convince himself that if he spent his energy solely on working on the lathe and living among the noble factory workers and adopting their humble lifestyle, then thoughts of Sun Hee, his love for her and everything that concerned her very existence would fade away. Seok Chun could never forget the lathe work that had become a part of his identity along with the smell of greased steel, the sharp steel rods, the admirable workers and their quiet ambitions, and the humorous stories the factory workers told. These were the elements that shaped his life, that gave passion to his creativity and aspirations. Just thinking of leaving this village, he already longed for the smell of the countryside, the beautiful landscape, and the people with whom he had worked for the past month.

  Then the door to the meeting hall was flung open, and people poured out. People passed the courtyard and took the path next to the small park to go home. The night was terrifyingly dark, with no streetlights to guide them. Yet laughter, boisterous voices, coughing, someone calling for someone else, parents concerned about their children’s whereabouts, and other loud voices reverberated in the darkness. There was the sound of a young boy trying to frighten a young girl, and the laughter that ensued. Flashlights and cigarette lighters flickered all around like fireflies flitting through a field. The night was dark but full of life.

  Soon, silence fell and dampened any remnants of the festive sounds. But then, from the courtyard, Seok Chun heard footsteps approaching him.

  Someone must’ve just woken up in the concert hall and realized that everyone had gone home. Why doesn’t he go toward the noise? Why does he have to come this way?

  The person approached with caution and then halted behind Seok Chun. There was silence for a moment, an awkward hesitancy that held Seok Chun back from stirring, talking, or turning around. And then a woman’s soft voice called his name.

  “Comrade Seok Chun?”

  When Seok Chun heard that voice, it was as if he had touched an electric current that stunned his body. He rose slowly, trembling with anticipation. Seok Chun blushed in the presence of Sun Hee’s angelic radiance. He gazed at Sun Hee with the desire and excitement of starting anew. Their eyes conducted a passionate dialogue. In moments such as these, words may fail to express one’s feelings, but eyes can speak ineffable emotions. Seok Chun managed to stand up, but he did not know how to behave or read Sun Hee’s expression. He had already forgotten about last night’s humiliating incident, how he had worried over her and then had determined to forget about her. Although she was the source of all his anguish, he wanted to welcome her into his heart again.

  “Why are you sitting here alone?” she asked.

  Seok Chun had no words to respond.

  “I saw
you leave during my song,” added Sun Hee.

  He was surprised and relieved that she had noticed his absence.

  So, she did see me leaving while she was singing her song! She even found me sitting here at the small park!

  He wondered if this gesture was her way of expressing interest in him. He did not think she was taking pity on him, but he still could not shake off suspicion of her overt generosity. It could have been simply goodwill, but it could not be love, he thought.

  “Would you care to join me for a walk?” asked Sun Hee softly.

  Without answering her, Seok Chun started walking.

  They walked in the park without exchanging any words. The village was quiet that evening. A light, warm breeze shook the persimmon-shaped lightbulbs that had been hung between the willow trees throughout the park.

  “How did you find me?” asked Seok Chun, breaking the silence. He spoke carefully. He did not want to sound desperate or appear as if Sun Hee was the only thing on his mind. He was a proud man.

  Sun Hee peered into Seok Chun’s eyes as if she were trying to read his thoughts. The moonlight was reflected in her eyes, illuminating them with a bright glow.

  “I just wanted to see you,” responded Sun Hee. “That’s why I came looking for you.”

  There was an impenetrable stillness between the two. The insects that danced around the lightbulbs were livelier.

  After quite some time, Seok Chun said, “I’m sorry about what happened last night.”

  “Me, too. But let’s not talk about that anymore.”

  Seok Chun was enamored with Sun Hee’s breezy personality, which cleared away the stagnant air of uncertainty and embarrassment between the two.

  But then, Seok Chun had to inform Sun Hee of the bad news. “I was thinking … either tomorrow or the next day … of going home as soon as the machine gets assembled.”

  “Why?” Sun Hee exclaimed impetuously. She looked shocked and stopped in midstep.

  “Well, I think I will get lonely if I stay here. And besides, what else is there for me to do?”

  “You promised to teach the factory workers how to operate the new machine, didn’t you?”

  “I did at first.”

  “Then you have to keep your promise. It’s your responsibility, as someone from a larger factory, to assist people like us from a smaller factory, even if you don’t think much of us.”

  Seok Chun was at a loss for words.

  “I can’t believe this,” continued Sun Hee. “You promised.” She paused. Then her eyes lit up as though she realized something. “Comrade Seok Chun, won’t you teach me how to operate the lathe machine?”

  Seok Chun looked at Sun Hee in delighted disbelief.

  “Comrade Sun Hee, a lathe machine is nothing like a friction press.”

  “Yes, but, you see, my work is repetitive and monotonous. I want change, something new.”

  Seok Chun restrained himself from revealing his joy in having found a new excuse to stay.

  “By the way, Comrade Sun Hee, you sing really well.”

  Sun Hee guffawed, “That’s belated applause. It seemed like you left because you couldn’t stand it.”

  “No. It was because I was moved,” insisted Seok Chun.

  “Liar,” whispered Sun Hee teasingly.

  Sun Hee’s response was affectionate, a sign she was growing more comfortable with Seok Chun. This pleased him immensely.

  Seok Chun stopped walking and turned to face Sun Hee. His abrupt movement caused his chest to bump into the curve of her shoulder. Sun Hee was startled at this sudden movement. She felt a strange sensation running through her, as if her body had become sensitive to even the slightest contact.

  In the bright moonlight, Seok Chun could see her timid eyes, her long thick eyelashes, the blush on her cheeks, and the contours of her lips. His eyes followed her long neck, curved shoulders, and lingered on the swell of her breasts.

  At that moment, Seok Chun was so driven by impulse that he reached out and grabbed Sun Hee’s hands. Her hands were small, firm, and warm. She felt shy, but she cautiously allowed him to hold her hands.

  Seok Chun hastily whispered, “Comrade Sun Hee, do you love me?”

  Sun Hee, with her hands still in his, turned her head to the side.

  “Huh? Tell me please.”

  The intervals between Seok Chun’s breaths became shorter.

  “Please don’t do this,” Sun Hee whispered apprehensively. Sun Hee freed her hands from Seok Chun’s and lightly slapped his chest. Seok Chun did not budge.

  “You love me, right?” he asked loudly.

  “Shh! Someone might hear you!” Sun Hee cried, surveying her surroundings.

  She slapped his chest harder.

  “Please, tell me,” begged Seok Chun.

  “Let’s just meet again tomorrow.”

  Sun Hee retreated with playful eyes. Seok Chun let out a robust laugh, pregnant with his burning passion for Sun Hee. She responded with a coy smile.

  “Would you allow me to escort you to your dormitory?” he asked.

  “No need. It’s right there,” Sun Hee said. “You should go. Your roommates must be wondering where you are.”

  Sun Hee walked away and soon disappeared into the dark night, while Seok Chun gazed fixedly after her.

  Thereafter, Seok Chun did not return to his home in the city. Even after his two friends had left the village, Seok Chun postponed his return for another ten days or so, teaching the local factory workers methods for operating the new machines.

  On the night before Seok Chun had to leave, a crescent moon dimly illuminated the vast sky. Seok Chun and Sun Hee met at their regular place, the riverbank near the willow trees.

  Silver fog quietly descended from the majestic mountains and veiled the landscape. From the dim mountains beyond the hills rushed a strong river, gushing along its wide path with enough force to cut deeply into the earth, rumbling and crashing, washing over rocks and boulders, until it reached the lower rapids. The branches of the willow trees by the riverbank swayed, and the leaves fluttered with life. Pebbles covered the bank, and rocks glistened in the moonlight. Two large boulders leaned close together as though they, too, had come out to share their love for each other. It was a sublime sight, lyrical music, composed on nature’s instruments.

  Across from the rapids, somewhere in the hills, a cuckoo cried a melancholy song. Legend has it that a poor old woman died and then turned into a cuckoo, which cried for her abandoned children. However, tonight, even the cuckoo’s sorrowful cries sounded affectionate to the two lovers.

  Seok Chun sat on a rock, placing a guitar borrowed from a young man from his dormitory on his lap, and began to strum. He was not trying to demonstrate his guitar skills to Sun Hee, who already had musical talent and artistic sensitivity well beyond his capacity. Instead, he wanted to show her the tender side of his brusque personality. He did not consider this behavior foolish or arrogant but a genuine display of sentiment that emerged from the simplicity and innocence of his love for her. However, his guitar skills fell short of his desire to express his feelings—his fingers stumbled around the neck of the guitar and produced stubbed sounds.

  After a few more attempts, Seok Chun sighed with disappointment and set the guitar down. The hollow body gave out a loud, resonant sound. Sun Hee encouraged him with a quiet sensibility. “There is too much ambient noise around the riverbank. A guitar should be played indoors, where there are better acoustics, for it to produce its true sound.”

  Seok Chun was grateful. He knew that these words conveyed Sun Hee’s love for him. Strolling together by the river in the late evening, breathing in the fragrance of the evening mist, hiding in sheds to avoid getting wetter from the rain were unforgettable moments of their budding love affair. What else would these moments be other than love? He loved her, and Sun Hee loved him back. He looked at Sun Hee with soulful, passionate eyes.

  Sun Hee coyly played with a string that hung from the front part of her dress.
She appeared more attractive tonight than ever before.

  The rapids released a cool, refreshing scent as they flowed forcefully down the valley. Foam from the tides and the small waves shimmered in the moonlight. Larger waves crashed and spread over the bank, momentarily dissipating the reflection from the moonlight, and then proceeded to flow in tranquil bliss. Another set of waves washed up along the riverbank and withdrew, and then another, over and over again.

  “Comrade Sun Hee, the rapids also seem to have life. The river sounds like it has a thousand emotions.”

  “Ever since I was a young child, I’ve loved the sound of the river rapids,” Sun Hee said.

  “I wish I could play nature’s deep and profound melodies with my guitar.”

  “Try it. You can do it,” encouraged Sun Hee.

  “No, I can’t. I don’t have the talent,” Seok Chun confessed.

  He stared at the river, immersed in deep thought.

  “However, I have a passion that is better than my musical talents,” said Seok Chun, reassuring himself. “Being a lathe operator. It’s truly rewarding, and like the sound of the rapids, it, too, has a melodic tune. I just need someone who will play that tune with me. Comrade, do you know what I’m talking about?”

  “I do.”

  “Sun Hee, will you come with me on that journey?”

  “Yes, I will.”

  “So, you will marry me?”

  “Yes.” Sun Hee nodded her head. She answered as if she had already been thinking about this matter for some time. Seok Chun’s soul was filled with ecstasy.

  “Thank you!” he shouted.

  He grabbed her shoulders and looked into her eyes. The crescent moon was not bright enough for him to see its reflection in her eyes, but he realized that her eyes this evening glowed brighter than before, different from the timid eyes he had seen many nights ago. Her soft eyes indicated a quiet promise of love and hope for the coming days.

  “We got married two months later,” said Seok Chun. He tried to smoke his cigarette, but it had already been snuffed out.

  Judge Jeong Jin Wu lit a match. Though it was a long story, it was engaging, not quite what he had expected. Jeong Jin Wu had never planned on writing down the entire story on the divorce petition; he simply wanted to know the couple’s past in order to explain their current life, emotions, behavior, and opinions of each other.

 

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