“I can’t help but recall my childhood. I feel like I’m still in that place. It feels like some other woman got married and not me. I’m scared. I feel guilty for leaving Yeonsudeok over there and living over here. In that village, there are the old-timers and comrades whom I grew up with.”
Jeong Jin Wu was moved.
Eun Ok looked ever so beautiful with the moonlight on her voluptuous body. Eun Ok’s face glowed the way it had when he had seen her at his senior thesis presentation, in the early morning at the University Park, and on the train station platform. It made Jeong Jin Wu more attracted to her.
“Eun Ok, if it’ll make you happy, cultivate the vegetables at Yeonsudeok. I will help you. As your husband, your comrade, and your friend.”
Jeong Jin Wu promised Eun Ok to support her, thinking that her research project would take only a year or a couple of years at most. He had never imagined that her research would be indefinite; he certainly had not imagined that he would have to live a life that was very different from those of other families. He did not want to look that far ahead. The enchanting reverie of marriage veiled the reality of life. Jeong Jin Wu and Eun Ok were in their prime. From their perspective, any difficulty appeared easily overcome and any agony tolerable.
“Thank you very much,” said Eun Ok softly.
In the vast, dark sky, a comet flew over the mountains and then disappeared. The moonlight cast a shadow of the two lovers embracing on the blankets.
“Comrade Jin Wu, when we receive our new home, I was planning on using the master bedroom as a greenhouse so that I can check on the plants when I return from the research lab. Would that be all right?”
“Of course it will. I will buy you all the flowerpots you need,” said Jeong Jin Wu.
Eun Ok, completely moved by Jeong Jin Wu’s commitment, gazed into his eyes and promised eternal love, a harmonious family, and positive results from the research lab.
Jeong Jin Wu perceived their wedding vows materializing in her eyes. He read his wife’s heart with his. A week later, Eun Ok left for Yeonsudeok.
It was still too early to conclude that there would be, or hope for, any positive results from Eun Ok’s research lab, but since it was nearing the end of March, she had to sow new seeds.
This was how their life began.
Jeong Jin Wu reminisced about the early, innocent, and passionate days of their marriage. And now, twenty years had passed.
Jeong Jin Wu felt utterly dejected.
It was such a beautiful, elegant wedding. Those were good days, full of love and joy. But how could I have forgotten about all that just because time has passed?
Time had passed. Marriage had not been an enchanting reverie but a harrowing reality.
Jeong Jin Wu had been burdened with his legal duties along with having to take care of the greenhouse in their apartment and other chores in Eun Ok’s absence. He had bid farewell to her with their infant son on his back on countless occasions. He had raised his son from kindergarten to the day he left for compulsory military service because she was absent most of the time. Rather than being eventful, those days were hazy to Jeong Jin Wu. He had complied with every one of Eun Ok’s requests and desires. He had done all this without complaining once.
Now he was frustrated with her and his family situation. He has become indignant about her research experiment. Where had his passion on their wedding night gone? What had happened to the covenant of faithfulness he had made at the altar? Had it, perhaps, passed along with time?
Jeong Jin Wu sank into a pensive mood as he looked at the flowerpots and the moss growing on them.
The rain continued to pour down, and the wind moaned.
It must be snowing heavily in Yeonsudeok. And by tomorrow morning, the ground will have frozen. Eun Ok must be cold.
TWO LIVES
5
Sun Hee lay in bed with her eyes closed, listening to the rain beating on the roof tiles, flowing down the eaves, and splashing on the ground. The unpleasant sound irritated her and kept her awake. The heavy rain seemed to be an ominous sign. She thought that nature did not discriminate among people, but tonight, it seemed that nature was not going to free her from her misery.
During her carefree childhood days, her dream-filled teenage years, and her blossoming adulthood, nature had blessed her with warmth and beautiful memories. In her home village, the sound of the summer rain dripping from the eaves was an enchanting and vibrant song, a joyous and wonderful melody. Sun Hee thought that each drop of water contained the universe. Each drop of water that fell from the vast sky contained a power too great for the dark clouds to hold and, like the faint sound of a bell tolling in the distance, dropped to earth one by one. If she were to put her ear close to the ground and listen to the beating rain, she would be able to picture everything of interest that was happening at school, in the fields, and on the hillsides.
Sun Hee reached out her small hands and received the summer rain. The rain began to fill her cupped hands, and some drops bounced off her face. As the rain began to fall harder, a stream of water flowed from the tip of the roof tile into her hands. Drip, drop, drip, drop. The rain tickled her hands. At first, the dripping rain sounded like a stringed instrument. But soon it turned into the sound of a symphony orchestra, producing harmonious melodies as it fell on pear tree leaves, barn roof tiles, wooden fences, flower gardens, clay pots, and the dirt path. The rain allowed her to experience something entirely new and musical. It rolled down her face and down her shirt. It seemed like the neighborhood children, who were also listening to the sound of the falling rain, were soon going to congregate at Sun Hee’s house to appreciate nature’s symphony. Children sang and danced to the rhythm of the rain. Sun Hee, full of vibrant energy, joined the neighborhood children. The falling rain, the sound of children laughing and chattering …
“Mom?”
What a familiar voice. That voice was now pulling at her shirt, dragging her away from her memories of her youth.
“Mom?”
Sun Hee was tossing and turning in her bed as she returned to reality, leaving her youthful days with the neighborhood children in her ephemeral dreams.
“Are you asleep?”
“No, dear …”
Sun Hee shuddered at the sound of reality. It was her son, Ho Nam. He was sitting by the sliding door between the two rooms. She was able to make out the silhouette of her son fearfully hugging a pillow in the dark. Ho Nam had been sitting there because he had not decided which room to sleep in. His father was sleeping in the main room and his mother in the other room. The two rooms, which were separated by only a sliding door, appeared to be worlds apart. They had turned off the lights to go to sleep many hours ago, but Ho Nam sat between his parents, between the two rooms, amid the tense atmosphere, completely alone and dejected. Sun Hee recognized Seok Chun’s stubbornness in Ho Nam, a resemblance that displeased her greatly. However, she could not suppress her motherly love.
“Come here, sweetheart.”
Ho Nam stood up with his pillow clutched to his heart. As he moved toward his mother, he banged his knee on the dinner table that Sun Hee had prepared for Seok Chun. Neither she nor her husband had eaten that night. So the dinner was untouched, and the dinner table remained in the room as evidence of their lack of concern for each other. Ho Nam crawled into the blankets next to his mother. He turned his back to her and got into a fetal position. He did not sink into his mother’s arms like he used to. Even though he snuggled next to his mother, he had his back to her and his face to his father in the other room.
Sun Hee tried to make her son look at her by turning his body. Ho Nam obediently went into his mother’s arms, fondled her breast, and fell asleep. His deep breathing was a telling sign that he had been upset over his parents’ quarreling for quite some time. The dark sky wept through the night like Ho Nam’s dejected spirit, beating the earth, trying to keep the boy awake with its irritating noise. The boy slept, while Sun Hee lay awake in fear that the rain woul
d wash her precious and beautiful childhood memories down the muddied gutters.
In the other room, Seok Chun rustled in bed. He finally sat up and lit a cigarette. Seok Chun sighed deeply as the smoke clouded the room. He, too, could not fall asleep, knowing his marriage was nearing its end. He no longer felt like a member of his own family, but like a stranger to his wife and a mere acquaintance to his son. Although he was still considered a husband and a father socially and legally, he had relinquished those responsibilities.
Seok Chun did not eat the dinner Sun Hee had prepared, but she did not care. He decided to sleep in the other room by himself, but she did not care about that either. This had become a nightly occurrence, the physical realization of their isolation and scarred emotions.
Sun Hee recalled the judge’s countenance when he had escorted her out the door at the courthouse. She recalled his deep-set but soft eyes and his authoritative voice. Sun Hee knew that Judge Jeong Jin Wu was the only one who could legally put an end to her marital problems and her inexplicable misery. She regretted not convincing the judge to allow her to divorce Seok Chun. When the judge inquired about the marriage, all she did was brood over their personality conflict, her future, her occupation, speaking in nonsensical abstract metaphors like “not on the same rhythm.” Like a child, frustrated with things not going her way, she had rambled on and on to the judge without making a clear case for herself. She sighed with regret …
6
Jeong Jin Wu woke up at dawn, disturbed by the sound of the moaning wind and rustling tree branches.
A ray of moonlight and the dim glow of the streetlights penetrated the curtains, casting a gloomy shadow over the room. The furniture and other household objects were consumed by the darkness, but the large shadows on the ceiling and walls seemed to come to life, roaming about the desolate room like nocturnal creatures, whispering to one another.
Soon the wind subsided, and Jeong Jin Wu felt calmer. Like a child, he did not want to get out from under his warm covers. The heated floor was at just the right temperature, and he was cozy inside the silky, fluffy blanket his wife had made. He wanted to fall back asleep and imagine the sound of his wife preparing breakfast in the kitchen. However, there was no sound coming from the kitchen, and his room was the only place alive in the apartment, with the animated shadows dancing on the walls.
Convoluted thoughts troubled Jeong Jin Wu, and he felt confined and trapped. Was it because he had not slept well last night? Or was it perhaps because he had to return to the many marital problems waiting in his office at the courthouse? Civil suits were not serious problems compared to the criminal trial that would be held that morning.
The director of the City Electricity Distribution Company had designed an electric blanket for personal use and had been using it without permission from the government. This was considered a felony, as the entire country was trying to conserve energy. He was not an ordinary citizen, but the director of the very institution whose priority was the conservation of energy. For this reason, he was going to receive a severe sentence. It was not simply a crime of wasting energy, but a crime of selfishness and greed. Electricity was more precious than money or any other commodity because it was the property of the nation.
Jeong Jin Wu expected a large turnout at this hearing. The sentence was to be stern in order to prevent anyone from thinking that wasting electricity was a negligible offense. Representatives from local institutions, industrial complexes, and factories were expected to attend. Before the senior judge left on a business trip, he had ordered the district judges to give the director a harsh sentence and had told Jeong Jin Wu to oversee the entire hearing so that there would be no errors.
Jeong Jin Wu finally forced himself out of bed and did some chores around the house. He was worried about the vegetables in the greenhouse, so he took a closer look at each one and recorded the changes in humidity level and temperature that had occurred during the night.
The world outside Jeong Jin Wu’s apartment was still dark. There was no light in the sky. Across the street, there were only a few apartments with lights on as diligent housewives prepared for the new day and husbands dressed to go to work. The other apartments still had not woken from their peace and comfort, their dark windows obscuring a dormant hope for a new day coupled with anticipation for new challenges. One by one, the lights went on. Joy, hope, curiosity, and love of life woke up to face the new dawn. More lights were turned on, and soon, a new determination for a new day emanated from all the apartment windows.
Are Lee Seok Chun’s lights on at this hour? The couple could not have had a good night’s sleep. Without a doubt, Sun Hee must have slept with Ho Nam in the other room, while Seok Chun slept alone. It must have been a cold and lonely night for the family, thought Jeong Jin Wu.
The sun, too, woke from its slumber and brightened the morning sky.
Jeong Jin Wu completed the chores and prepared to go to work. He paid closer attention to his shirt, suit, and tie than usual because today was no ordinary day but the day of a big trial. After one last glance in the mirror, he grabbed his briefcase and left his apartment.
By coincidence, Jeong Jin Wu saw Seok Chun and Sun Hee on his way to work that morning.
The two were walking in the same direction, but at a distance from each other, with Sun Hee in front. She wore a fancy feathered brooch on her bright two-piece suit, and she had her hair and expensive makeup done like a true celebrity. She was easily identifiable in the crowd of other women. This was how she normally dressed, and she always carried herself with confidence. It would be hard for anyone to believe she was miserable just by looking at her appearance. She had taken extra measures to hide her despondency from the locals of the Gang An District out of pride.
Sun Hee turned and gestured at Ho Nam to catch up to her.
Despite his mother’s urgency, Ho Nam kept his distance. Then he stopped and stood by some trees on the side of the road. The distance between him and his mother increased, but he did not care. He kept looking back.
Behind him was his father, dragging his feet with his head lowered. Seok Chun’s disheveled hair fell forward and covered his forehead. He kept his head down and looked at the small pebbles on the road.
Seok Chun’s countenance was utterly wretched. Although he had on a nice dark-blue suit, it looked as if he had not ironed it. His white dress shirt was covered in yellowish grease stains. It was evident that Sun Hee had not washed his clothes for quite some time. His shoes were dirty and worn, as though they had not been shined. Those shoes were lugging around a heavy and depressed pair of legs. He did not even realize that he had just passed his son.
“Dad!” cried Ho Nam.
Seok Chun stopped. As soon as he looked at his son standing by the trees, Seok Chun’s face turned bright and full of life.
“Hey, you! Why are you standing here?” Seok Chun knew why, but for the sake of Ho Nam, he said, “Why don’t you follow your mom? You’ll be late for kindergarten.”
“I don’t want to go.”
“What? Where do you want to go then?”
“To your factory!”
“You know you can’t do that,” corrected Seok Chun.
Seok Chun fixed Ho Nam’s collar and buttoned his sweater.
“Now go on to school, and watch out when you cross the street,” said Seok Chun softly, patting Ho Nam’s head.
Ho Nam nodded reluctantly.
Sun Hee turned around, looking for her son. When she spotted him, she unconsciously raised her hand, but when she saw her husband, she quickly lowered it and looked the other way. She felt bitter with embarrassment, as if someone had thrown cold water on her face.
Judge Jeong Jin Wu observed this on his way to the courthouse and was deeply concerned for the couple. His determination to resolve their marital problems began precisely at this moment, on this road.
The couple’s attitude and behavior in public made it clear what happened behind closed doors at home every night. It seemed t
hat their strife had worsened. Sun Hee and Seok Chun probably thought that there was no way to cure this disease between them, that their marriage had reached its end, and that the only solution was to begin anew without each other. Most couples perceived the law as something that resolved their marital problems once and for all, without any compromises. That was why couples would act as if they were strangers after filing for a divorce. Any iota of caring or regret was thrown out the window, and it was common for couples to feel only cold and embittered loathing toward their partners.
Some students raced toward Jeong Jin Wu from the opposite direction and shoved him aside as they passed, nearly causing him to fall. One student looked back apologetically, but then he continued on his way with the others. Normally, such disrespectful behavior would have angered Jeong Jin Wu, but today, rather than feeling indignant, he felt that the students were driving a stake deep into his heart, a stake that urged him to work on Seok Chun and Sun Hee’s divorce case. He was determined to restore harmony to this family, but he had an important trial waiting for him. He looked at his watch and picked up his pace to the courthouse.
Sun Hee stopped walking to wait for Ho Nam.
From a small path between the apartment buildings, Sun Hee’s colleague Eun Mi walked out with her daughter and husband. The daughter was about Ho Nam’s age. She held both her parents’ hands and fluttered like a baby bird. She looked up at her father and mother and grinned, a radiant smile that was as bright as the pink hairband on her head. The child’s gaiety lit up her parents’ faces.
Eun Mi’s husband worked at the Gang An Machine Factory as a cannery supervisor. He had graduated from an industrial college and was now a respected supervisor among his peers and community. He wore a heavily starched suit and a classy necktie. His hair was neatly combed back and styled with mousse. He did not look like someone who was going to work at a factory but like someone who was going to give a lecture or some kind of important presentation. His appearance gave the impression of a dignified intellectual of the nation.
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