“This wasn’t your fault,” she said against my shirt. “It wasn’t.”
“She left because me and dad were fighting. We’d flustered her. She left and then forgot how to get home. She was wandering around the streets, lost and alone for hours. She died alone. If someone hadn’t seen her, we may have never found her. If I hadn’t pushed him so hard, she’d still be alive.”
She was silent for a while, then she said, “By that reasoning, if I hadn’t taken up so much of Dad’s time when I was younger, he would have gone to the doctor sooner, caught the cancer sooner. Maybe he’d still be alive.”
I shook my head. “It’s not the same thing, Charlie.”
“It is,” she insisted. “Gram was sick. Very sick. I’ve talked to your mother about it. She didn’t have much longer, even with constant care. It was more a matter of making her as comfortable as possible. It was an accident, Liam.”
When I didn’t respond, she pulled back and as my eyes adjusted to the dark, I met hers as she studied me. “Do you think she’d blame you? Do you think she’d want her only grandson to shoulder that amount of guilt?”
My immediate answer wasn’t one I was willing to consider. “Get some sleep, Charlie,” I said instead.
Her free arm came around me as her body settled against mine. For the first time in nearly three weeks, I was able to fall into a deep and dreamless sleep.
“Why don’t you git and let that young lady have a moment’s peace?” My great-aunt Ida told me as she shoved me away from the refreshment buffet set up in our kitchen after Grandma Dorothy’s funeral.
Charlie hadn’t left my side over the past three days. Through funeral arrangements, receiving out of town guests, and the service itself. When I turned, she was there. After the first night of sharing a bed together, I’d moved to the couch and let her have the bed. She didn’t bring up resuming our relationship, and I didn’t ask. I was simply grateful she hadn’t left.
“He’s alright,” Charlie told her. “Besides, he gets lonely when I leave him alone.”
Aunt Ida eyed me over the tuna casserole. “Well, alright, but you let me know if he starts bothering you.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I will.
“How is it my family likes you better than me?” I asked as I made up my own plate. I wasn’t exactly hungry, but my mom was watching me like a hawk and I knew if I didn’t eat she’d beeline over to me in a heartbeat.
“I’m much prettier,” Charlie answered and popped a grape into her mouth from the fruit platter.
“And so humble,” I teased with a grin that felt like it needed to be oiled.
Charlie’s eyes softened, and I realized it was the first time I’d smiled since Grandma Dorothy died. My smile instantly fell, and I took a step toward her, plate of food forgotten on the table. “Charlie, I—”
“Liam, can I talk to you for a minute?” my father interrupted. He stopped short when he realized how close Charlie and I were standing. “It can wait until you’re done here.”
“No,” Charlie said as she pushed me in his direction. “We can talk about this later.”
When I opened my mouth to protest, Charlie glared at me. “Fine,” I said and followed Dad through the throngs of relatives to the deserted front porch. Good. At least there’d be no witnesses when we had another epic blowout and it devolved to one of us throwing punches. It wouldn’t be the first time in the south when fists were raised at a funeral.
I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the porch railing. “What did you want to talk about?”
He crumpled onto the porch swing, the metal chains groaning in protest, and buried his head in his hands. “I’m sorry, son. For everything I’ve said. For what I’ve done. Mom tried to tell me I was being too hard on you—when she was aware of what was going on. She tried to tell me I was pushing you away, but I didn’t listen.” He looked up then with a broken smile. “Guess that runs in the family.”
I couldn’t remember the last time my dad had apologized—to anyone, let alone to me, who’d seemed to disappoint him at every turn. The anger that had seemed to burn a hole in my gut whenever I was in the same room with him had turned to stone. “I’m sorry, too. I got it in my head that I was going to do things my way and I never stopped to consider helping any of you. I thought if I went to school and got my degree I’d be able to make enough money for everyone. Figure we were both equally wrong.”
“For what it’s worth, I am proud of you, for all you’ve done. I never could have stuck it out in college and I’m damn proud you’re my son.”
I looked to my feet, my face heating. “Thanks,” I managed to choke out. “That means a lot to me.”
“Gram was proud of you, too,” he said as he got to his feet and pulled me in for a one-armed hug. “Now let’s go find your mom and let her know we made up so she doesn’t divorce me. That woman is like your Charlie. I knew I found a good one and didn’t give her a second to come to her senses before I chained her down. You’d be wise to do the same.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Charlie
“I can’t believe you’re leaving me. Who is going to spend Taco and Tequila Tuesdays with us now?” Ember threw herself down onto the couch next to me. Layla nodded enthusiastically from her place on the floor where she was sorting through the mountain of things I’d managed to accumulate at her place. I’d only been living at her place a few weeks, but somehow my things had wound up all over her apartment.
I gave them both quelling looks, which they ignored. “I do have a car, you know. I can come see either of you any time. That includes on Taco and Tequila Tuesdays.”
Layla sighed heavily as she folded shirts. “It won’t be the same with you gone. We won’t be able to come over to see you any time we want. You might as well be on the other side of the city!”
I’d given some thought to staying in the building. Now that the semester was ending, there were a lot of openings. Students moving out, graduating. I could have my pick if I wanted. But I couldn’t imagine putting up with the landlord again. Besides, my new place was farther from campus, but closer to the hospital where I hoped to apply when I graduated. Call it wishful thinking, but I hoped it would impart good vibes for when I did.
“Who is gonna help me plan to defeat Dash? I just know he’s going to plan something horrible for my senior year. I won’t make it to graduation if you’re not here. I may kill him this time. For real.”
My heart squeezed at the thought of missing their fighting, and inevitable making up. Layla may not realize it, but Dash was definitely going to make her life hell—just not for the reasons she thought he was. It almost made me a little misty to think of the wild ride that was in store for my friend. I considered warning her ahead of time but managed to bite my tongue. She’d probably kill me if I ever suggested he only teased her because he wanted to get in her pants.
“Uh, hello!” Ember said, waving a hand around. “I still live here. I can help.”
Layla sighed again. “I guess.”
Ember threw a pillow at Layla’s head. “Jerk.”
Liam had been secretive about his plans since the funeral, where we didn’t get much chance to talk. I wasn’t about to press him for details, not while his family was still grieving. We still chatted and texted constantly, but it wasn’t the same. I missed my best friend. I tried to weasel information out of him on the pretense that I’d be willing to adjust my plans for him, but he vehemently rejected that idea. I had to admit, I loved that he wanted me to follow my dreams. Not that I’d ever tell him that.
I’d even grilled his parents for clues, but they were sworn to secrecy. His mother was so overjoyed with the idea that we might get back together that she’d given me one of her rose bushes for my new apartment. “It’s tradition,” she’d insisted. It was already turning brown, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was even more hell on plants than she was.
It was late when I finally convinced Layla and Ember I could handle the las
t load and promised to invite them to my new place as soon as everything was unpacked. I loaded up the rest of the boxes in Liam’s truck. I’d let him borrow my car in return as long as I promised him no less than three hundred times that I wouldn’t let anything happen to his baby. I drove across town to his duplex where some of my stuff was still stored.
I had to admit as I walked around double-checking drawers and cabinets the emptiness left me feeling a little tender. So much so that when Liam walked through a short while later, I didn’t look up from the cabinet I had my head stuck in.
“How’d it go?” I asked from inside, my voice echoing.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Checking to make sure I didn’t leave anything.”
“Like a ten-year-old can of tuna?” he asked. I could hear the smile in his voice mocking me, but even that made me want to cry so I kept my head in the cabinet. He’d packed all his things from the duplex the week before. I hadn’t realized how much it would affect me until I walked in the living room and found all his furniture gone. It was just another reminder that he could be leaving soon.
For a long time.
Without me.
I had to be strong about it. Liam deserved every chance at a happy future and a good career. As much as I loved him, I loved him enough to set him free if that’s what he wanted.
“You never know,” I said with forced cheerfulness.
“Can you come out of there for a minute? I have some news.”
I froze, half in, half out of the cabinet, my ass probably making a delightful display. I gave a passing thought to staying there and never coming out, but my knees started to ache from kneeling on the tile floor. Standing, I noticed the counter had crumbs on it from God-knows-when and decided to give it a good scrub while I was there.
“Charlie, you and I both know you’re not this domestic. Stop procrastinating and get your ass over here before I come over there.”
I turned, tossing my hair over one shoulder. “Or what, you’ll carry me?”
He leveled me with a look. “If I need to.”
There was a moment’s pause where I considered defying him, but the edgy look in his eye told me not to push it. Besides, it would be better to go ahead and rip the Band-Aid off so I could deal with the fact that the person I loved most in this world would be halfway across the country for the foreseeable future. Even though I didn’t like it, I knew he was right. Whatever he chose, I’d figure out how to deal with it. We’d been just friends before, we could do it again.
“Fine,” I said and flounced away, only to realize, too late, that the only piece of furniture we had left in the apartment was his bed. Unwilling to admit defeat, I stomped to his room and plopped down on the bed. If we were going to have this conversation, I’d rather be annoyed than vulnerable. I would be just as unruffled as he was. We were adults with an adult friendship. I could do this.
Except the second I turned to face him and took a steadying breath, my eyes filled with tears. I groaned at my own childishness. This was silly. Even if he did have to move away it wouldn’t be forever.
“Aw, sweetheart, don’t cry.” He pulled me into a hug and pushed my hair away from my face. “This isn’t a bad thing.”
I sniffled. “I’m not crying. Ignore me.”
He wiped away a tear and then settled in to tell me about the new place he was moving to in August. I listened to his voice rumble through his chest and tried to commit it to memory while still paying attention to the actual words. His words tumbled over themselves as he spoke. It sounded like a dream come true. A great city with the best university. Tourist attractions. Nearby beaches. It was everything he’d been hoping for and more because he’d get to do what he loved, finally, with his father’s support. I was happy for him, really, I was, but all I wanted to do was cry.
“The best part about it is I won’t have to go far away.”
“That’s good, I’m hap—” I looked up at him, blinking owlishly. “Wait, what?”
His smile was blinding and a little smug. “I decided to enroll at UF instead of taking out loans for California. They offered me a scholarship I couldn’t refuse. I know it’s not close, but it beats being a continent away.”
“You’ll be staying in Florida? What? Why?” Maybe I was dreaming.
“You’re not dreaming.” I must have spoken aloud again. He cupped my cheek with a hand and I closed my eyes, leaning into his touch. Needing it to keep from spinning out of control. “I love it here. I want to be near my family. Near you. It’ll allow me to have the best of both worlds.”
“But what about the program in California. You were so looking forward to it, I know you were. If this is because of me, then I forbid you from doing it.”
He smiled. “You should know by now I do what I want the way I want it. Dad says it’s a family trait. I’m sorry, you’re stuck with me. If you’ll have me.”
I didn’t know whether I should screech for joy or convince him what a bad idea it was. “Are you sure about this?”
He lifted me to my feet with two hands at my waist, then tipped my chin up to stare deeply into my eyes. “Completely. Tell me I didn’t screw things up. Tell me we can work this out over the next couple years. I want to be with you, Charlie. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
I kissed him, unable to hold back any longer. “You’ve already got me.”
Epilogue
Charlie
The house was barely bigger than the duplex we shared for those few short months nearly three years ago. It sat on the corner of a heavily shaded road and was flanked by similar homes—though they were in much better repair. When Liam finished school and moved back to Tallahassee to work and I was on my second year as a full-time nurse at the hospital, we’d fallen in love with it, even though it was the first one we’d toured.
“I don’t know what you see in this,” April said. “There’s so much you have to do!”
She wasn’t kidding. The crumbling brick structure would need to be repaired, but thankfully, most of the exterior damages were purely cosmetic. Overgrown ivy and bushes blocked most of the view and destroyed whatever curb appeal may be underneath. Inside, we’d need oceans of paint and patience to remove and refinish the walls underneath the acres of faded wallpaper. Underneath a film of dust and neglect lay wide-planked wood floors that I hoped would be as good as new after some refinishing.
Liam wrapped an arm around my waist, his shirt already off and his hair drenched with sweat. “That’s what we love about it. It’ll be ours.”
April flitted in and out of rooms, her voice echoing off the empty walls and bare floors. “It’s so cool!”
Mr. and Mrs. Walsh returned from the back where they’d been scrutinizing the overgrown gardens in the backyard. The scent of damp soil trailed in behind them. The ground was still wet from a violent storm from the day before.
“You’re gonna have a hell of a time clearing all that out,” Mr. Walsh said with a gleam in his eye.
Liam and I shared a look.
“Actually, I was hoping you’d give us a hand with that,” Liam said.
The Walsh’s had moved to a smaller house once his sisters had graduated school and moved off to attend college. They kept themselves busy after they retired, but it wasn’t a secret that his dad was driving Mrs. Walsh crazy when he was without busywork.
“With the garden?” His eyes brightened.
“Yeah, with Liam starting his new job and me working overtime at the hospital, and now the house, we can use all the extra help we can get. Mom, that means you, too.”
April—Mom—jerked as my words sank in. “R-really?”
I smiled warmly and crossed the living space to pull her into a hug. “Really. I hope you’ll come by when you can. Madison and your husband, too. You’re both welcome.”
“Epic,” Madison said and we laughed.
“Thank you,” Mom said quietly and I squeezed her hand.
“We better get going,” Mrs. Wals
h said. “We’ve got a bit of a drive back to Nassau. Why don’t we come by this weekend and we’ll help the both of you get settled?”
“We’d love that,” I told them.
We stood on the porch as Mom and Madison waved their goodbyes and Mr. and Mrs. Walsh honked their horn. The urgency that had always plagued me, always urging me to keep moving so nothing could hurt me was absent. I didn’t miss it. In its place was contentment. Peace.
Liam turned to me and tugged me to the steps where we sat and watched the afternoon turn into evening.
“I’m so happy,” I said and clasped the hand resting on my thigh.
He lifted the other to brush away a lock of hair from my cheek and cupped my head to bring me in for a soft kiss. “I’m glad, but I’ll be reminding you of this when we’re knee deep in paint and wood stain.”
A contented smile teased at my lips. “You do that.”
I leaned my head against his chest and let the sound of his heartbeat fill my ears. Our lives had been intertwined for years. First as friends, then as lovers. Now, we were starting a new life, together, and this house felt like a tangible symbol of the future. A promise. It wouldn’t be easy, my own experiences had taught me that, but knowing Liam was there by my side would make whatever curves we had yet to face easier to bear.
With a hand covering my stomach, I stretched up so I could whisper in his ear.
The house wasn’t the only symbol of our future together, after all.
Keep reading for a sneak peek at the next book in the series…Frenemies!
Friend Zone Series Box Set Page 18