I smile and let out a breath. Logan kisses me as he pulls my shirt off, only breaking the kiss to lift it over my head. Then we take turns unbuttoning each other’s jeans and pulling them down, leaving us only in our underwear.
Blushing, I take a moment to size him up. He’s tall and everything about him reflects that fact.
At the same time I’m sizing him up, he’s looking at me. I meet his eyes and see the deep burn there that gets my adrenaline pumping.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispers.
“So are you,” I say, then feel stupid for saying it. Handsome, rugged, edgy, all of those words describe Logan. Beautiful does too, but I want to make him feel like a man tonight.
Not long into the night, I realize all I have to do to make him feel that way is be myself.
February 15
Sweet Obsession
I have the greatest boyfriend in the world.
Last night, he went all out and created my fantasy for me, complete with rose petals and candles just like I always dreamed. It was better than I always imagined it. We couldn’t look away from each other. Then at the end we got to sit in bed together and eat fresh-baked cookies. What could top that?
Logan gave me the full queen treatment for Valentine’s Day and I ate up every second of it. I’m not ashamed of how spoiled I am with him. Sometimes, though, I feel selfish. What exactly is he getting out of this?
Well last night, I found out. In fact, now I know why a guy will do just about anything for sex. He was so happy afterwards; it was adorable. He looked at me like I owned every bit of him from head to toe. Like I could ask him for everything and he’d grant my wish.
Now I know beyond a doubt I don’t have to worry about losing him. I’m his priestess, he’s the priest.
PSA to all women everywhere:
Logan Caldwell is mine.
Now and forever.
Ttyl,
Mads
Two days later, I’m called out of school because the doctor declared Jess doesn’t have more than a few more days to live. Her assistant expressed to me that Jess definitely wanted me there to say goodbye before she passed, so I asked for a day off and the school gave me the rest of the week.
The drive over is hollow, lonely, and solemn. No one is with me to take the edge off my depression. I have to sit here and blast music into the car, trying to fill the empty space and take my mind off the fact that my mother is about to die. Back when I first learned she had cancer, I was numb to it, but the closer it got to saying goodbye to her, the more it hurt.
I park my car outside the Redinger mansion and am led inside to Jess’s room. The sight I’m met with when the maid opens the door unsettles me at my core.
The Jess I once knew is gone. Her body is here and a small remnant of her soul lingers here, but it doesn’t seem like her at all anymore. It’s the last of Jessica Redinger. She’s hanging on by a thread, waiting for the monster called cancer to finish her off.
Jess’s nurse wets her lips with a sponge, trying to give them some kind of moisture. Her IV drip is getting low, so the nurse switches out the bag and puts in a fresh, plump bag of water. A soft moan comes from Jess, and the nurse turns to her, searching her face to decipher what she’s asking for.
A hand pushes me forward from behind. “She’s asking for you.”
Cold chills run down my spine. That voice, so similar to mine and yet so different in tone, sends my entire body into a nervous frenzy. It causes me to shift into defensive gear.
Slowly, I follow Raven’s command, step forward, and pause beside Jess’s bed. She can’t breathe on her own or speak. How am I going to communicate with her? I now wish I hadn’t let Raven’s actions against me separate me from Jess for the past month. It was my last chance to talk to her, and now it’s gone. I’ll never be able to carry on a conversation with my mother again.
Guilt crushes my chest when Jess lifts her trembling hand a mere centimeter off her leg. Of course. All she wants to do is hold my hand one more time.
I lace my fingers with hers, letting a warm tear fall. What a mess our lives have become. Here I am, saying goodbye to my mother, and I barely know her. She never told me her favorite color, her favorite food…we’re still strangers after all this time. My respect for her only comes from the past few months when she tried so hard to turn a new leaf. Cancer swept in and stifled her change of heart to the point where I only got to see brief glimpses of it, but I know it was there. She wanted to make things up to me. I’m going to be able to live the rest of my life knowing she was sorry. That was the best parting gift she could have given me.
“Thank you, Jess.” The words slip from my mouth. “You tried to make things right. I want you to know I don’t blame you for anything. It was good for me to meet you, even though our time was short.” Squeezing her hand gently, I force a smile. “Here’s hoping the next place you find yourself in is a lot nicer than this one.”
A corner of her lip twitches, and I know she’s heard me. With one more squeeze of the hand, I release her, feeling too overwhelmed by the sight of Jessica Charity “Jacie” Redinger on her deathbed to stick around. I can’t watch this. It will add more heartache to a life that has already had too much of that lately.
Turning toward the door, I don’t bother to say bye to anyone as I take my leave. Heavy footsteps follow behind me, but I don’t turn around. I pass through the open door, feeling relieved in a way to be done with this side of the family. If all goes my way, I don’t plan to see them or acknowledge them again. Jess was the only reason I was staying in contact with them.
I hear Jess’s bedroom door close and turn around. Raven is standing in the dim hallway with light falling in a strip across her eyes. Breaking out in a sweat, I swallow down a girlish scream that wants to come out and face her.
“What do you want from me?” The question carries more meaning behind it than this one meeting. Ever since we met, she’s been after me. For the first time, I think I’m ready to know why.
“Did you tell the principal what I did?”
“No.”
“You swear?”
“I didn’t breathe a word, I swear.”
Raven pauses as if to absorb that information. “Good. I suppose I’ll spare you for now.” She moves to turn away from me, but I stop her with my voice.
“No. You’re not walking away without answering my question.” After she turns back to face me, my nerves convert to adrenaline and I ambush her. “You ruined my chances to have a relationship with Jess over the past month. You humiliated me and abused me in front of the world multiple times. What is it about me that has you so terrified? Is it because I look like you? Is it because I’m friends with Dalton? Just tell me. I want to know, and I’m not leaving until you tell me.”
Huffing, Raven crosses her arms in front of her. “Are you recording me?”
“No. I don’t have any ulterior motive here. I want to know why my long-lost twin sister can’t be bothered to try to have a normal relationship with the one person she could have had one with.”
Her face contorts at that statement, like my words stung. Sighing, she drops her arms to her sides and holds my gaze. Millions of emotions and rampant thoughts run through her eyes. I’m afraid for myself just looking into them.
“You really want to know the truth?”
“Yes. I can handle it. Just give it to me so we can be done with each other.”
Raven smirks, like she approves of my reasoning. After a huge sigh, she finally gives in to me.
“Well, here it is. You’re a threat to me.” She shrugs. “It’s as simple as that. I was Jacie Redinger’s only daughter, her princess, for seventeen years. I didn’t want to give up that position.”
“You didn’t have to,” I protest, shaking my head. “I wasn’t going to try to take anything away from you.”
“You’re taking half my inheritance,” Raven growls. “If you had never shown up, that money would have been all mine. Now I’m losing fif
ty million dollars to you. How’s that for a threat?”
My eyes grow wide. Fifty million? That may not seem like much to some people, but to me it’s a damn fortune.
“Not only that, but now I have to compete with you in the public eye for the status that comes with inheriting a celebrity’s fortune. You divided everything in half, including my mother’s attention. All she could talk about for the last few months was how much she wished you had been here with us all this time. As if I’m not enough.”
“Well, I’m her daughter too, in case you’ve forgotten.”
“Oh, no one will let me forget.” Raven’s glower darkens. “Everywhere I looked last summer, there you were. The Basket Baby. The returned sweetheart of America. I knew who you were to me a long time ago, but I never expected you to be so popular. After all, when you first got here you looked like a complete…” Her hand flails around in the air as she searches for the right word.
“Dork. I know.” My cheeks heat.
“I tried my best to get rid of you. To make you so afraid of this place you’d run crying back to Kentucky, but to your credit, you’re a lot stronger than I realized. I now know nothing I can do to you is going to send you away.”
Hope burns like a beacon in my chest. “So…does that mean you’re going to stop harassing me now?”
A wicked smile curls on her lips. “I’ve got bigger fish to fry in this town. After all, now that I have a record deal, I’ve got some fierce competition out there in the pop music crowd to deal with,” Raven announces.
“You…you have a record deal?”
“Yes. The talent agent was not in the auditorium to hear you perform. One of my girls found out who he was and brought him out into the hallway to meet with me. He was so impressed by my singing he immediately offered to connect me with Royalty Records. I’m a signed musician now.”
The burn of hope I felt seconds ago is replaced with scorching shame. She beat me. She won, and I didn’t know it.
“Well, congratulations. I guess we have nothing left to say to each other.” I turn away, but she grabs me by the arm and forces me to face her.
“Oh no, darling, we’re not finished yet. I may have won the battle of the spotlight, but there’s another battle to be won. That inheritance is going to be all mine. Every last penny.” She leans in until she’s practically breathing down my throat.
My mouth drops open. “You want my part and yours?”
“You shouldn’t have had a part in the first place. For seventeen years, everything was mine. I’m not going to let you swoop in now and take what rightfully belongs to me. If you fight me on this, I won’t rest until you’re utterly obliterated.”
My body turns to stone and my face freezes into a snarl. No. No way is she taking this consolation away from me. Jess wanted me to have this money. I deserve it. I’ve earned it over the past few months taking every ounce of shit Raven’s thrown at me. I can’t let her have this. If she wins, everything I’ve been through will be for nothing.
Straightening up, I look her right in her deep, dark pupils that remind me of twin black holes.
“Then I’d suggest chugging the caffeine, because you’re not going to be resting for a while.”
To be continued…
Battle Royale
D.O.R.K. Series, Book Four
Rain streaks the window as I sink down into the bed and open my laptop. An ironic smirk warps my lips as I watch the lazy drops of water trickle down the tinted glass.
Yep. Seems about right.
Today was as depressing as a day could possibly get. So dreary, so long…
From experience, I’ve learned the best thing to do on a day like this is tune out the clamor in my head with a writing session and the tinny sound of rain shooting down the gutters on the side of the apartment building. The sound of water hitting the bottom of the bathtub as my boyfriend takes a shower adds to the ambience. Today is a little different, though. It’s not only the rain giving me the blues. I just got back from something I would have never thought I’d have to attend so soon.
The laptop warms up, and I open my Word program. Writing in a secure electronic journal feels a lot better than writing in a blog. If I ever blog again, it will be something I don’t mind sharing with the world.
February 24
She’s Gone
I just got back from my mother’s funeral. And it’s raining. How very cliché.
Funerals give closure, but I hate going to them. When I was young, I went to a funeral for Nana’s sister, my great aunt Margaret, and I felt so uncomfortable the whole time. I hate sympathy. I’ve always wanted to be seen as strong. Going through grief, and especially being a motherless child, makes everyone think you’re fragile. The truth is, I’m fine. I said my goodbye and I know Jess is out of pain now. My tears have dried up, my bruised heart is healing, and I finally feel like I can move on. No more Basket Baby, no more Jacie Redinger…it’s done.
Taking a deep breath in through the nose, I exhale a sigh. My Basket Baby days are over. Now maybe I can finally focus on my life and putting myself out there without the chains of the past weighing me down.
Well…there is still one chain.
Raven sent me ample doses of her withering glare all through the ceremony. I couldn’t help but feel a bit smug. I’ve finally got something to take away from her that gets under her skin. Raven Redinger has not seen the half of what I’m capable of. My new mission is to show her I’m not the loser she thinks I am.
There’s still a lot of guilt inside me about fighting with my sister during the family’s time of grief, but I know Jess wanted me to have my half of the inheritance, and that’s what’s keeping me strong. I’ve lost Jess, and there’s no hope of having a real bond with Raven. The pain inside me will have to keep healing one day at a time. Not every story has a perfect happy ending. I’m just glad most of the stories in my life do.
Goodbye, Jess. We taught each other a lot. I’ll never forget you.
Ttyl,
Mads
As soon as I’ve saved my new journal entry and closed my laptop, Logan comes out of the bathroom with his hair dripping wet and curling around his ears. He’s wearing nothing but a damp white towel wrapped around his hips, giving me a great view of his stony, tattooed upper body. His green eyes deepen with compassion when his gaze meets mine.
“You okay, sweets?”
Smiling, I pat the bed beside me. He needs no second invitation. As soon as his ass hits the mattress, he pulls me into his embrace, tucking my head into the crook of his neck and shoulder. His strong arms hold and shelter me.
“I’m so sorry for your loss, babe,” he whispers into my ear, brushing a sweet kiss against my neck.
“I’m okay,” I assure him.
He pulls back and tips my chin up to look in my eyes. “Are you sure? Is there anything I can do?”
I run my hands up over his pecs to his firm shoulders and hold him still. “Just this.” Stretching up onto my knees, I plant a kiss on his warm, still-wet lips. Logan crushes me into him and returns the kiss with passion.
No complaints are made as we sink into the mattress together, tangled up in each other’s arms. Everyone has their methods of dealing with grief. Mine is falling in love.
One day later, Logan, Dalton, Devon, and I are all gathered around the music room at the mansion, jamming out as usual, and Dad and Cass walk into the room. All day long, they’ve been exchanging this secretive glance that’s making me crazy to find out exactly what they’re planning. Finally, I can’t wait any longer after Dad chuckles to himself and sinks into the dumb couch beside me.
“Okay Dad, spill it.”
He grins at me. “Spill what?”
“You know what I mean. You’re acting weird. What’s going on that you aren’t telling me?”
“Well…I hope you don’t mind too much, darlin’, but after the talent show, I sent Kelsey to Hannigan Records anonymously and had her give them your video from the talent show.”
My breath escapes me. That’s his record label.
Dad gives me a sheepish grin. “They already knew you were my daughter, so they called me instantly and offered you a deal. I know you said you didn’t want my help, but—”
“No, that’s fine,” I tell him. Logan and Dalton glance at each other with sparkling eyes. This is it. Our moment. And it’s coming a lot sooner than either of us thought it would. “We’ll meet with them for sure.”
“Okay, and if that doesn’t work out, we’ll do the same thing with every record company in Los Angeles. I know someone’s bound to take you. That performance the other day was really somethin’, sweetheart. Words can’t properly describe how proud I was. I had to see if my good friends over at Hannigan could give you the same great experience I had.”
“Oh, Daddy, thank you!” I hook my arms around his neck and squeeze him, laughing like a maniac.
Who’s the winner now, Raven?
She might have snagged the talent scout, but I’ve got an agent that’s better than any other. He knew I wanted his help but was too proud to ask for it.
Was this too easy? Yes.
Am I going to complain? Hell no.
The packet of papers that just got placed in my hands does not feel real. After a brief meeting, our contact at Hannigan Records immediately initiated the contracting process. Turns out being the Grim Weeper’s daughter means a lot more than I thought it did. Not only do they love our music, but working with Dad again has them all kinds of jazzed, too. I might consider asking Dad to be our manager after this. Who else in the world would be better at that job? He knows his stuff. He has a fantastic relationship with our label…
Our label. The words run through my mind and get me trembling.
Now that this is happening, it’s all kinds of scary and exciting. I haven’t a clue what’s going to happen next. All I know is high school drama has ceased to mean a thing to me. High school is now a mere roadblock to my career. Dad is being gracious and letting me sign early because he knows how serious I am about both things. Three months until graduation, and then my real life begins.
D.O.R.K. Series Box Set: Diary of a Rocker's Kid, The Sister Code, Twin Wars Page 60