by K. Langston
“Right now this is about you, not me.” He kisses me again, this time it’s tender and sweet. “Go get dressed before I drop to my knees again.”
“I’m okay with that,” I tell him, warmth heating my cheeks.
His eyes burn into mine. “Fuck me, she likes my mouth on her,” he murmurs. “Later. I promise.”
Kissing me once more, he leaves me there, with a tingling sensation deep in my belly and a newfound feeling in my heart.
This woman has me feeling all sorts of crazy shit and she’s testing every ounce of control I possess. I haven’t done anything more than kiss her since the other day but fuck all if I’m not dying to. I feel like a teenage boy all over again. Every time I kiss her, touch her, hell, even walk by her, it feels like my dick is going to rip my jeans in two. All I can think about is devouring every goddamn inch of her until she’s covered in my scent.
My cum.
Me.
I can’t remember ever wanting a woman so much, but after I found out she was a virgin, that she’d never been kissed or touched by another man besides me, it was like a switch went off and whatever need had been brewing inside of me before was now a distant memory.
In its place is something far more powerful.
Keeping my hands off of her had been a challenge before but now, now it’s impossible. Every chance I get I have my hands and my mouth on her. I’ve never kissed a woman so much in my life never mind damn near come from it.
It’s crazy to me how much my feelings have grown for her in such a short amount of time, how much I care for her already, but I am not afraid of falling in love with her. I’m pretty sure I already have, and I’m fairly certain it happened in that goddamn basement when her eyes met mine and my heart stopped beating altogether.
I remember Pop telling me once, when he met my gram, he felt something similar. I would be a fool to ignore what I feel for her, regardless of what she’s been through or how old she is. I am the only man who can love and protect her the way she deserves.
Smiling, I remember this morning, after breakfast, she started making an apple pie for today’s barbecue. I’d tried to be a gentleman and simply give her a tender kiss but the second her fingers scraped through my hair and her breathy moans filled my mouth, I was a fucking goner. I nearly took her right there on the kitchen floor. She begged me to after all, but I want her first time to be special, and despite my need to want to take it slow, that is quickly dissolving along with my self-control.
I adjust my cock, waiting for her to finish getting ready so we can head over to Jimmy and April’s. As I’m waiting, my phone vibrates from my pocket, and I look down to see it’s my mother calling.
“’Lo.”
“Would you care to explain to me why I had to hear from your brother that you were shot?” my mother shrieks, anger and hurt threading throughout her voice.
“I was going to call but—”
“But what? You better have a good reason for not calling your mother and telling her that you were not only shot but also hospitalized!”
Catching movement out of the corner of my eyes, I find Selena standing at the top of the stairs, and just when I think she can’t get any more beautiful, she does.
The look on her face crushes me, nearly brings me to my knees.
I swallow thickly. “I met a girl.”
“A girl?” My mother sniffles. “You were shot and you met a girl?”
“I might even be in love,” I confess, low enough for only my mother to hear.
“Oh God, Neil, he’s not making any sense. I’m booking a plane ticket right now. I can be there tonight.”
“Mom, no, I’m fine. The bullet went in and out, hardly any damage at all. They didn’t even keep me for forty-eight hours.”
She lets go of a sob, the same one I heard when I was twelve years old and got bucked off of a stud Pop couldn’t seem to break. I broke that son of a bitch though. My arm and collarbone, too.
There’s some shuffling then my father’s voice comes over the line. “You’re in a world of shit, you know that?”
“I didn’t want to give her a reason to worry when there was nothing to worry about.”
“You’re dealing with a woman, son, your mother at that. You can’t use that stupid fucking logic. You have to think when it comes to shit like this. I reamed your brother’s ass, too. We’re a family, we communicate; one of us hurts, we all bleed. You with me?”
Nothing like a mother’s love and a father’s wisdom to put your ass in check.
“I’m with you.”
He lets go of a long exhale. It sounds akin to relief and that guilt nips at me a little more. “Your brother filled me in on what’s going on. You good?”
“I’m good.”
A pause then a grunt.
“You’re sure?”
I gaze up at Selena, my heart hammering against my ribcage. “Positive.”
“Good. Call me if you need me. I got your six. You know that.”
“I know. Tell Mom I love her and I’m sorry. I’ll call her back soon.”
“You better. Or I’m bringing my ass down there.”
The underlying threat has me shifting on my feet. “Copy that.”
“Over and out.”
Once I end the call, Selena walks slowly down the stairs, her feet a little uncertain, cheeks flushed and rosy. I slide my phone back into my pocket, smiling at the goddess before me. Fresh face, rosy cheeks, a smile just for me.
“Is everything okay?” she asks once she reaches the bottom step.
“It is now,” I reply. “Shall we?” I offer my arm because that’s what you do when you want to throw yourself down at a woman’s feet.
I’ll throw myself over the edge of a fucking cliff as long as she keeps smiling at me like that.
We almost make it to the door before she stops. “Hold on, I almost forgot!”
She scurries to the counter, the flats of her sandals slapping against the hardwood to collect the apple pie she baked.
Jesus.
Can this woman be any more perfect and beautiful?
“Come here,” I tell her, and she floats over to me without an ounce of hesitation. Wrapping one arm around her waist, I pull her close and kiss the side of her neck, not wanting to mess up her pretty lip gloss, but then my eyes land on her lips and all bets are off. I take her mouth in a heated kiss that lasts a lot longer than I intended.
We are both breathless when I summon the strength to tear my lips from hers.
“What the hell are you doing to me?” I ask, pressing my forehead to hers.
“I do not know, but whatever it is, I never want it to stop.”
“Me neither, baby.”
* * *
“When do you go back to work?” Jimmy asks, flipping the burgers on the grill. I take a sip of the only beer I’ll allow myself today since I have to drive home, gazing across the yard at Selena. I’m not ready to go back to work yet. Not until I know there’s not a threat against her.
I look over at Jimmy who has his attention focused on the task at hand. We met right after I joined the department. He was in his second year, cocky and thirsty for life on the beat. Bastard wasn’t afraid of anything. Fearless as they come.
We both were.
Funny how things change with a little perspective. Like your best friend being shot and nearly killed by a thug robbing a convenience store. The thug was brought down but Jimmy was on life support for two weeks. It was touch and go there for a minute, but thankfully, he pulled through. Recovery wasn’t easy for him either. It was a year before he came back to work. He’s a lot better now and has since been promoted to another division but we’re still tight. He’s the luckiest son of a bitch I know.
“Chief says I can take as much time as I need.”
“Feds find anything yet?” he asks, keeping his attention on the burgers while mine stays on Selena.
“Got a call yesterday. They’re still collecting evidence, dismantling his elaborat
e empire. This fucker was into a lot of shit. They’ve already recovered over forty million in cash, that doesn’t include his offshore accounts. But that ain’t even the kicker, motherfucker owned several properties throughout Mexico, two of them hideouts, the rest, pit stops for trafficking. One of the properties they raided had as many as a hundred women, some as young as twelve years old.”
“You think she had any knowledge of this?”
“No, she was terrified of him. The bastard killed her mother right in front of her, and I have a feeling whoever was backing that trafficking operation will want to tie up any loose ends, know what I mean?”
“She got any clues who it could be?”
“None, but I’m hoping they figure that shit out soon. If nothing else to put her mind at ease.”
“No doubt,” he says, closing the lid of the grill and picking up his amber bottle. “In the meantime, you two just playing house or is this thing serious?”
“Serious as fuck.”
“Thought so. You have that same look in your eyes I did when I knew April was the one.” He tips his beer bottle toward April.
He hit the nail on the head with that one.
A few of the guys I work with and their wives are gathered around the fire pit, laughing and talking. Selena sits among them, quiet, reserved. As if she can sense my gaze on her, her eyes drift toward mine.
The intense pull between us is scary as shit and oddly perfect.
“Good thing you’re keeping her close, innocent girl like that, having gone through what she has. Someone would take advantage of her and she’s had enough to deal with.”
Damn right she has, and if I have anything to do or say about it, that shit will never touch her again.
No matter where he is, his eyes are always on me. Silently keeping guard.
My noble protector.
I’ve had so much fun today. More fun than I thought I would. The wives have made me feel welcome. Even though I know they recognize me, they don’t ask about my past. And it’s something I appreciate immensely. I spend more time with the children than anything. April and Jimmy’s little boy, Caleb, is so sweet and has the cutest set of dimples. He took a liking to me right away, and I couldn’t help but fall madly in love with him, too.
Lindsey nudges me, leaning over the chair and dropping her voice low. “If he keeps staring at you like that, he might bust a nut right there.”
“Bust a nut?”
She blinks at me.
“You know, come in his jeans?”
My face heats. “You’re still not with me, are ya?” I shake my head. “I’m getting the feeling here you’ve never had sex before.”
I do not answer but she must see it written all over my face. “Sweet Lord, that man is going to die.”
Looking over my shoulder at Justin, his heated glare aimed right at me, I clench my thighs, thinking about what he did to me the other day. I return my attention back to Lindsey. “But—we’ve done other things.”
Lindsey smiles. “Atta girl. You let him go down on you?”
I nod.
“You go down on him?”
I shake my head, my face heating even more. “I wanted to, but he only wanted to please me.”
“Hell yes, I knew he was a giver. A man like that won’t be able to hold on to that self-control for long, and judging by the way he’s looking at you now, I’m thinking it’ll be sooner rather than later. You nervous?”
“A little. I’ve never been with a man before. I do not want to do something wrong.”
“You can’t do it wrong. There’s just no possible way. And Justin being the man he is will take control. Follow his lead, he’ll sort you out. However…” She leans in closer, lowering her voice further, which I am grateful for. I don’t know why but I only feel comfortable talking to Lindsey about these intimate things. “Get on birth control as soon as possible. So much better without a condom unless you want some little Cunninghams running around.”
The moment the possibility leaves her mouth, images flash through my mind in slow motion.
A child.
Dark-haired boy.
With brown eyes and a heart just like his father.
“Perhaps someday.”
“Then talk to him about it.” Lindsey takes a sip of her wine.
I’ve lost count of how many glasses she’s had but there are three empty bottles on the table already and all the girls are sporting rosy cheeks and there is mirth in the air.
“I’m not ready for kids either. I’m too busy having fun,” she says, raising her glass to her husband who stands talking to the guys a few feet away.
“How long have you and your husband been together?”
“Five years. Married last spring.” She takes another sip.
“How did you meet?”
A mischievous grin tugs at her red lips. “He arrested me.”
I gasp. “Arrested you?”
She nods.
“What on earth for?”
Dropping her voice to barely a whisper, she confesses, “I’m a voyeur. I like to watch people having sex.”
Shock and confusion wash over me but what is even more surprising is the lick of desire I feel, too. To watch someone in such an intimate act, in the throes of pleasure. I squirm in my seat, curious to hear more.
“Ah, that curls your toes too, huh?”
My cheeks flush. I’ll admit the thought is enough to evoke desire but I’m not sure how I would feel about invading someone’s privacy like that.
“So what happened was, my neighbors were like rabbits. They had sex all the time and they weren’t shy about it. I’d watched them fuck in the pool. On the balcony. Through their windows at night. I became obsessed with watching them. And I didn’t see the harm in it. I mean, they were the ones doing their business for me to see, why can’t I look? But one Saturday night, I went too far. I hadn’t seen them in days. Every time I glanced over with my high power lens telescope they had the drapes drawn and the windows closed. So I snuck around back, through their gate, and peeked inside a window. And there they were right there, fucking in the living room. He had her leg pinned back, slamming inside of her so hard and so fast, I couldn’t help but put my hand down my pants and watch. I couldn’t control myself. In my own lonely existence, I’d been reduced to fingering myself while I watched my neighbors get nasty. I was so pathetic. Well, little did I know, they had a dog. A little ankle biter that I’d never even noticed or seen before. The fucker attacked my legs and they caught me wet handed, as Larson likes to affectionately say.”
She smiles wickedly.
“They called the police and he was the one who showed up. He took me into custody. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I didn’t want to have to call my parents or my sister to come bail me out of jail because I’d been caught peeping into my neighbor’s window. I begged him not to take me in. Even offered sexual favors but he wasn’t having it. That badge on his chest wouldn’t allow it. He took me in and booked me, and nine hours later, he bailed me out.”
“What?”
“Shocked the shit out of me, too. He talked my neighbors into not pressing charges and somehow, magically, it never showed up on my record. I didn’t go without punishment.” Her smile grows wider. “He made me pay for what I did.” Her gaze shifts over to him. “I’m still paying to this day.”
I swallow thickly, nearly on the edge of my seat with anticipation. “How does he make you pay?”
“See that belt he’s wearing?”
I nod slowly, glancing at the thick leather belt holding up his faded blue jeans.
“He whips me with it.”
“No.”
She bobs her head and sips her wine. “While I’m handcuffed to the bed.” The image she paints sounds horrible, a severe punishment for her crime. “Then he records it so we can watch it together later.”
“And you…like this sort of thing? You get pleasure from it?” I can see in her eyes that she does.
�
�Hell yeah, I do. Listen, my kink might be someone else’s hard limit. You gotta find out what turns you on. What makes you tick and be vocal about it. Guys aren’t mind readers.”
I like talking to Lindsey. She’s strange and a bit over the top but in a good way. A comforting way. She makes me feel normal in my lack of knowledge and experience. And she is someone I feel like I can trust to confide in about such things.
“You’ll learn.” She lifts her chin toward Justin. “He’ll teach you.”
He’s done a good job of that already. With every kiss and touch, he peels away another layer of my inhibition. The last few days with him have been nothing short of magic. A dream. A fairytale. I never believed I would leave the walls of my father’s prison, much less find love beyond them, but with Justin, there is so much possibility.
Lindsey leans in closer. I wait patiently for whatever morsel of information she’s going to give me next when a tiny hand lands on my arm.
“Miss Selena, come see my Nerf gun collection!”
April turns from her conversation with one of the other wives. “Caleb, leave Miss Selena alone.”
“He’s fine, April.”
“Girl, he will wear you out if you let him.”
I laugh. “It’s fine, really. I would love to see your Nerf gun collection.”
Caleb tugs me into the house and down the hall into his bedroom. He’s only five years old but he seems much older. Remarkably smart and as handsome as his father. There’s no doubt that this little guy will be breaking hearts all over Texas.
Entering the room, I gasp when I see dozens of Nerf guns spilling out of several toy boxes. There are some propped up in corners on the floor, they’re everywhere.
“Pretty cool, huh? I bet you’ve never seen anything like this before, have you?”
Well, he’s right about that. I’ve never seen a room quite like this. I walk around, inspecting a few.
“Uncle Justin gave me this one for my birthday. It’s one of my favorites. I can shoot up to thirty bullets in less than fifteen seconds.”
“Wow, that’s impressive.”
Caleb proudly grins. “We have a Nerf war once a month. You should come next time.”