by Aubrey Gross
Heather popped the lid on to the now empty plastic container that had held homemade spaghetti. Her brown eyes twinkled as she asked, “What do you think it is?”
“Well, it’s obviously jewelry.”
Heather balled up her napkin and threw it at Jo. “No shit, Sherlock. But what kind of jewelry?”
Jo shrugged, but her heart was in her throat and her stomach was a nervous mess. She put down what remained of her sandwich, suddenly unable to eat any more. “I have no idea. I can’t imagine it being what you’re thinking it is, though, considering we haven’t even spoken in three weeks. It’s probably just a bracelet, or earrings or something.”
Heather peeked into the bag. “Considering the size of the box, it’s not a bracelet. That, my friend, is either a ring or earrings.”
“Or a necklace, maybe a charm for a necklace or bracelet.”
“Except you don’t have anything you would need a charm for.”
“That’s beside the point.”
Heather snorted and tucked a lock of outrageously curly black hair behind her ear. “Well, I hope it’s a ring and that he’s come to his senses and realized how lucky he is to have you.”
Jo felt the sting of tears and blinked rapidly.
“Oh, hell. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
She practiced deep breathing for long moments until she got her emotions somewhat under control. “It’s okay. I’m pretty much an emotional mess these days. Thank God it’s been a pretty light week so far.”
“Knock on wood, my friend. It’s Friday afternoon and the first week of school—shit could still hit the fan.”
“You don’t teach with that mouth, do you?” Jo teased.
Heather snorted. “Only in my dreams.”
~~*~~
Luckily shit did not hit the fan that afternoon, and Jo found herself breathing a sigh of relief as the last voices of students faded down the halls. Her gaze once again fell on the gift bag on her desk. It was just after 4:30, and she still had some paperwork to wrap up and emails to respond to before she could leave for the weekend.
Not to mention almost thirty minutes until she could open that damned box.
She looked around, and then back at the bag. Wait a second. Why was she even waiting to open the stupid thing? It wasn’t like he would know if she’d opened it before 5:00, considering he was in Del Rio.
Ugh.
She reached for the bag, withdrew the box. Hands only slightly shaking she made quick work of the gift wrap.
It was definitely a jewelry box.
Not that she’d expected anything else considering the name written in elegant script on the gift bag.
She took a deep breath, wrapped her hands around the velvet container, and cracked it open.
“I thought my note said not to open that until five?”
The box snapped shut, pinching Jo’s finger. She yelped and turned towards her office door and the voice she’d missed more than air itself for the past few weeks.
She sucked on her pinched finger before glaring at Chase. “So it was you.”
His smile was unsure, and she wanted to leap over the desk and wrap herself around him, but she wasn’t going to make things that easy for him.
Oh, no, it was his turn to apologize and grovel for making a stupid decision.
Not that he’d ever really made her grovel, but still.
Payback was a bitch.
Or something like that.
“Can you leave yet?”
His hands were in his pockets, and for the first time Jo really took note of how he was dressed. Charcoal gray trousers, blue button down shirt and a black jacket. This was Chase all grown up, looking every bit like a confident, self-assured businessman.
It was kind of hot.
She nodded and said, “Let me just shut everything down and we can go somewhere private to talk.”
A part of her wanted to make him wait and squirm, but she just didn’t have it in her.
He nodded, and she went through the motions of shutting down her computer, turning off her desk lamp and the Scentsy warmer she had on the bookshelf behind her. She straightened up her desk, made a couple of notes to herself for when she came back in Monday morning, grabbed her purse out of her desk and was ready to go.
She took a deep breath to calm her nerves. “Okay. We can get out of here.”
She walked towards him, and he smiled and asked, “You forgetting something?”
She was close enough now to smell him, that unique combination of sunshine and warm skin that was Chase, and her senses were just enough on overload that she had to stop and think about what he was saying. “Forget what?”
He reached around her, grabbed the jewelry box off her desk, and said, “This.”
“Oh, yeah.”
He shoved it into a pocket and gave her half of a grin. “Let’s get out of here.”
~~*~~
Chase followed Jo towards the back of the school, barely noticing his surroundings he was so engrossed in the woman in front of him.
He was having a hard time reading her mood, but he was man enough to admit that that was all on his shoulders. He’d been the one to shut her out then push her away, and considering how bad he’d felt when she’d done that to him back in high school, he could only imagine what she was feeling now.
Her palm hit the release on the door, and they stepped out into bright sunshine and sweltering humidity. Just being back in Austin for a day had made him appreciate the relatively lower humidity in Del Rio.
She stopped short just in front of him before pointing at the black Cadillac sedan idling in the parking lot and asking, “That yours?”
“Ours, if you’re willing.”
She slid him an unfathomable look before shrugging. “Well, I’d hate for you to have gone to all this trouble for nothing.”
Chase bit back a grin as they headed towards the vehicle. The driver stepped out and opened the back door, Jo slid in and Chase followed. The door closed behind them and they were ensconced in cool air and leather.
As the driver pulled out of the high school’s parking lot and headed towards Highway 71, Chase searched for something to say to fill the space between them.
Jo finally broke the silence by asking, “So where are we headed?”
“It’s a surprise.”
She raised an eyebrow. “A surprise? You think you can just waltz into my office after not speaking to me for three weeks and whisk me away for some ‘surprise’ I may or may not enjoy?”
“I’m sorry, Jo.” He sighed. He wasn’t about to force her to go somewhere with him if she didn’t want to. “We can turn back around and you can get in your car and go home.”
Okay, so that sounded a bit more defensive than he’d intended.
She snorted. “I’ll play along with this surprise thing for now, cowboy.”
Chase smiled, for the first time in weeks feeling like everything was going to be okay. “Fair enough. I think you’ll enjoy what I have in mind, though.”
She glanced towards the driver and back at him, a blush staining her cheeks.
He leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “Get your head out of the gutter.”
She laughed but didn’t respond, instead turning towards the window to look out of it. “So, seriously, where are we going? It looks like traffic’s a nightmare.”
“Austin traffic’s always a nightmare.”
“You have a point.” She paused. “So you’re really not going to tell me where we’re going?”
He sat back and grinned. “Nope. Just enjoy the ride.”
~~*~~
An hour and a half later they passed a huge stone sign that read “The Reserve at Lake Travis,” and Jo turned to Chase, confused. “What are we doing out here?” As far as she knew, The Reserve was a
luxury home community with real estate prices beginning at three times what she’d paid for her little house in south Austin.
“Just a couple more minutes, counselor. We’re almost there.”
She rolled her eyes and turned back towards the window, watching as sprawling homes that could only be called mansions flew past them. Tennis courts on the right. More homes with lushly manicured lawns. They rounded a bend in the road, turned left and came to a stop. She peered out of Chase’s window and saw a scattering of small, high-end cabins. Behind them, she could just make out the waters of Lake Travis.
Chase’s door opened from the outside, and he stepped out. Jo followed, grabbing on to his hand for stability. He pulled his wallet out, handed a few bills that Jo couldn’t see to the driver and said, “Thanks, Mark. I’ll see you again on Sunday.”
The driver—um, Mark—tipped his hat and smiled before closing the back door behind them. Chase led her down a path as she heard the car drive away.
Too busy taking in her surroundings—these cabins were absolutely gorgeous—she paid no attention to where they were going. Chase drew to a stop in front of one of the smaller cabins, withdrew a key from his pocket and placed it in the lock. He opened the door and stepped back, gesturing for her to enter first, which she did.
The first thing she noticed was the smell of something absolutely delicious that made her mouth water. The second was the modern, yet somehow natural feeling décor. The ceilings were surprisingly high, the walls painted a neutral stone color.
“This place is beautiful.”
“You like it?”
She nodded. “And what is that smell? I’m suddenly starving.”
She set her purse down on a chair and wandered around the small space. The source of the wonderful food smell came from warming dishes that had been set on the counter top, along with plates, silverware, two wine glasses and a bottle of wine chilling in a bucket of ice. She touched the dome of one of the warming plates, found it to still be warm, and turned to Chase. “I’m guessing this hasn’t just been sitting here for a couple of hours.”
He stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels, a nervous gesture that was so unlike him that she barely managed to resist the urge to walk to him and wrap her arms around him. Sure, she was going along with things for now, but she wasn’t foolish enough with her heart to risk it all again without knowing what the lay of the land was.
“I texted the lodge about fifteen minutes before we got here to let them know to bring it on over and leave it. I figured a private dinner and conversation would be better than a public one.”
Fair enough. “It feels kind of weird, getting here and immediately eating.”
“The food will keep warm for a little longer.”
She shook her head. “No, I’m actually starving.”
God, this was so freaking awkward.
“Okay,” he said before walking over to the sliding glass doors, sliding back the curtain and revealing a private patio area with a table for two. Well, that answered one question she’d had.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she began to pull off the warming covers and discovered what looked to be herb-crusted prime rib, fluffy mashed potatoes, and roasted green beans, already plated. Another dish revealed little wells of what looked to be au jus and horseradish butter. There was also a basket of crusty, still warm bread that smelled heavenly, with individual pats of butter tucked in here and there.
By silent agreement, Chase took their dinner, and Jo managed to grab the condiments, butter and bread. They carried their fare out to the little patio, arranged it to their liking and then went back inside for silverware, bread plates, the wine glasses, and wine, which Chase opened before going back outside.
Once settled, they looked across the table at each other, and Jo almost smiled.
Chase poured them each some wine, giving her more than he did himself. From all the research she’d been doing, she guessed he was cutting back on alcohol due to his kidneys—not that he’d really drank all that much to begin with.
They each took an appreciate sip of the red wine, set their glasses aside and then simply stared at each other across the table.
After long, silent moments, Chase cleared his throat. “So this is kind of uncomfortable and awkward.”
Jo shrugged, somehow managing not to smile again, and then picked up her steak knife and fork. “It’s been better, that’s for sure.”
He sighed and picked up his utensils, too, but didn’t seem as interested in the meal as she was.
She relented, just a little. “Eat. This conversation will go much better if we’re not both hangry.”
“Hangry?”
“Yup. Being hungry makes people angry. You combine hungry and angry and you get hangry.”
He shook his head, but he at least seemed to relax enough to enjoy his meal (which really was superb).
They ate pretty much in silence, broken only by small talk about work how the Wranglers were doing. Safe, fairly neutral subjects. Nothing like the conversations they used to have over countless shared meals.
It was awful and awkward and there had to be a way to get past it.
Jo just wasn’t sure how.
~~*~~
Once the dishes had been cleared from the table and placed in the sink for the lodge’s staff to retrieve, Chase led Jo to the sofa inside the cabin, unwilling to have this conversation outside where anyone and everyone could hear them. Yes, the cabins had wood privacy fences that were impossible to see over unless you were maybe a professional basketball player, and with it being the beginning of the school year most of the other cabins were empty, but what he had to say to Jo was between the two of them and nobody else.
He refilled her wine glass before taking a sip out of the bottle of water he’d grabbed for himself after dinner. The jewelry box in his pocket felt like a lead weight, and the one in the bedroom taunted him.
He hoped like hell what he had to say was enough to make Jo forgive him.
Although to be fair, he was still struggling with forgiving himself.
She waited patiently, and he knew her silence was her way of getting him to talk. God, he’d been stupid to push her away.
He took a deep breath, studied the water bottle in his hands for long moments, and then slowly began to speak.
“That day I broke up with you, I was out of my mind. I was scared. So I pushed you away because I was trying to protect myself and you. At the time, I knew it was stupid. I knew it felt all wrong. But all I could think about was how unfair this was to you, and how you deserve someone better, healthier, who’ll live to grow really old with you. I felt like if I stayed with you, I would be condemning you to a life of doctor’s appointments and medical scares and uncertainty. You’ve had enough instability in your life, I didn’t want to pile on.”
He looked up at her then, met her gaze head on and saw the tears swimming there, felt his own eyes burning and continued. “The thing is, Jolene Dolly Sommers Westwood, I’m an idiot. I was scared of having a short life to spend with you, so I ended it now instead of getting to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter how short that life might be.”
A tear spilled over and onto Jo’s cheek. He reached out and brushed it away with his thumb, feeling his own threatening to fall. “But then I got to thinking about that, and realized that there are no guarantees in life. For all we know we could die tomorrow, a year from now, ten years from now, or live until we’re eighty-five. We just don’t know. And the longer I thought about it, the more I realized that a life without you—no matter how long or short that life may be—isn’t living at all. What I have, yeah, it’s a bit of a death sentence, but that doesn’t mean I should stop living between now and when my name is called.
“I’m sorry for being an idiot. I’m sorry for hurting you—that’s the last thing I want to do, a
nd yet I did it. I’m sorry I made you cry. Most of all, I’m sorry that I was so willing to throw our love away out of fear of the unknown. Life is short, but what good is life if you’re not actually living?”
Jo sniffled, set her wine glass down on the coffee table and grabbed a tissue out of the box on the end table beside the sofa. She swiped at her eyes, blew her nose and then said, “So all the gifts this week, those were from you?”
He grinned. “I wasn’t sure how much I needed to butter you up. Sorry if I went a little over board.”
Her smile was wobbly, but at least she was smiling now, which was better than the past few hours had been. “It was kind of sweet, if not a bit exasperating. I’m not sure what was worse—knowing they were from you but not knowing why you were sending things anonymously, or the questions I kept getting from all of my coworkers. Why did you send everything anonymously? It’s not like I couldn’t figure out it was you.”
He shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not really sure. I think I was a little scared that if you knew they were from me that you would refuse to accept them, which meant it really was over.”
She scooted closer to him, leaned into his body and wrapped her fingers around his. “Chase, honey, things will never be over between us. Even after the good Lord decides it’s your time to go I’ll still love you. You’ll always have my heart, no matter what happens.”
He kissed the top of her head. “I love you so, so much. I don’t think I can apologize enough for being so stupid.”
“This is a pretty good start. And I love you, too.”
They sat in companionable silence for long moments, until Jo finally spoke again. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve been doing some research about End Stage Renal Failure, dialysis and kidney transplants.”
He raised an eyebrow. “How much research?”
“Maybe just a few…dozen…hours’ worth?”
He laughed. “I don’t mind at all. What have you found?”
She told him about everything she’d found, from online support groups to news articles about the kidney transplant black market to research institutions developing artificial kidneys that would work in lieu of biological ones.