by Abbi Glines
He didn’t appear convinced but he didn’t push for more. He would later. Bray didn’t let go of something until it was settled.
Bray’s hand left my back, and he walked over to get our drinks. I watched him wishing I didn’t love him. It would be easier to leave Bray, hurt him again, if I didn’t care so much for him. There would never be a wedding like this one. Our ending was inevitable.
“You’re gonna have to give me the details on that one. I tried to get my own taste, but Asher put a stop to it,” Meg said as she came up to stand beside me. I glanced at her and saw her gaze was on Bray. Before . . . I would have been jealous. I was eaten up with jealousy when other girls talked, looked, or touched Bray. But I’d grown a lot over the past seven months. I couldn’t expect them to not want him.
“I already know the details. This isn’t a wedding hookup,” I replied honestly.
Meg slapped my arm her eyes wide. “You’ve experienced that! No way!”
Sighing I looked back at Bray. He was getting me a glass of water. Reality was even better than her imagination, but I wasn’t sharing that with her.
“He’s that bad boy you want to try out to know how it feels. You know?” Meg’s voice was laced with excitement. As if Bray was just a short ride on an adventure.
“Yeah,” I replied because I did know. Once he had been that for me too. Then he’d made me love him. That was my mistake, but it had been unavoidable.
While my thoughts were on preparing my heart to leave him again, a tall blonde I didn’t know walked up to him and whispered in his ear as she leaned into him. His hand touched her waist. I don’t know if it was to push her back or pull her closer, but I was frozen by what I saw. Unable to look away.
“Looks like you’ve got competition,” Meg whispered as if they could hear her.
There would always be someone else, but I wouldn’t be here to see it.
The blonde laughed and smiled up at him. His expression was serious, and he did move her away, but his hand was still touching her. I couldn’t hear them, but Bray was not happy about this conversation. The blonde wasn’t giving up easily. She twirled a strand of hair and puckered her lips in a pout. I had seen this a million times with a million other girls. Before I’d needed Bray so badly I had taken it. Dealt with it.
Bray nodded his head in my direction and our eyes locked. I didn’t want him to see too much in my eyes. The loss I already knew was coming, my wish I could be that girl, the desire to love him with a healthy mind.
He began moving away from her in my direction. Not breaking eye contact with me. The determination in his gaze was evident. He was ready to defend whatever that was I’d just witnessed.
“I think you’re the winner,” Meg said with a giggle, then winked and walked away.
Bray handed me the water while staring at me intently. “Yes, I’ve fucked her and no, I don’t want to again,” he said bluntly. “I can’t erase my past just like you can’t yours.”
He had no idea how powerful his last words were. Erasing my past had been my wish since I’d been a child. Erase the memories. The things I’d seen, the things that had touched me, cracked me, tangled my wiring until I was weak. Desperate. Angry. I said nothing. But I did nod and drank my water. The blonde was coming up behind him. This wasn’t over. I didn’t have time to tell him before her hand touched his shoulder.
His body stiffened, and he sighed before turning to look at her. “I was clear, Ari. Not interested.”
The blonde’s glare was then on me as she blatantly looked me over with distaste. “You said you preferred blondes. Red was your least favorite color,” Ari said with a smirk.
“Don’t get nasty, Ari,” Bray’s tone was annoyed.
She shrugged. “Last night you were begging me to suck harder and telling me I had the best mouth you’d ever had. That’s over so soon? Already moving on? I have more tricks you haven’t seen yet.”
Last night.
It wasn’t like I didn’t know Bray was a player. Sure, he’d been sleeping around over the past seven months. He wasn’t sitting around waiting on me to return. But her words were the splash of cold water I needed. A reminder. That leaving him wouldn’t hurt him. It would sting his ego, but this was Bray Sutton. He’d find a mouth to make him feel better within hours of my leaving. Beating myself up over leaving him was only hurting me. I knew what I had to do.
“You weren’t on the guest list, Ari. Please leave,” Bray repeated.
The blonde slung her hair over her shoulder and held her shoulders back. “I think I’ll stay and meet everyone.” The smug grin on her face bothered me. “Or you could walk me to my car and I promise to leave.”
Bray glanced at me. “I’ll be right back.” Then he turned back to Ari. “Let’s go.”
She seemed pleased and flashed me a winning grin as they walked off. I waited until they had left the tent to find Dixie. She was drinking a glass of champagne speaking to guests. When she saw me coming she excused herself and walked toward me.
“Hey,” she said, already knowing I was here to say goodbye.
“It was perfect. You are beautiful. Thank you for letting me stay. I love you and I will call soon. Enjoy your honeymoon. But,” I paused and glanced back at Bray. “I need to go.”
Dixie nodded, then hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her tightly. “You’re gonna get your happy one day,” she whispered. “I love you too.”
Before I began crying, I nodded, then let her go before walking away. Toward my car. This was an escape. It felt wrong to leave without telling him goodbye, but how could I? He’d try and convince me to stay. This was for his own good. Even if my heart broke with each step I took away from him.
Ari was what I needed to remind me who Bray Sutton was. I’d thank her . . . if I didn’t hate her.
Bray
I STOOD THERE. Watching the tail lights of Scarlet’s white Camaro drive away. Deep down I’d known she wasn’t ready to stay. Not once had she truly smiled and meant it, but I had wanted her to stay so damn bad I’d let myself believe she would.
Going after her was my first thought. Begging her. All the shit I’d spent the evening doing. If Ari showing up was all it took to send her fleeing, then I had no hope of ever really having Scarlet.
She wanted the fucking fairy tale Dixie and Asher had found. Scarlet was smart enough to know I wasn’t the one to give it to her. Brent would have, but she hadn’t loved Brent. She thought she loved me. If she did . . . she’d have fucking stayed. No matter what.
“Let her go,” Steel’s voice wasn’t welcomed. No one’s was. I wanted to be alone.
“Do I look like I’m moving?” I snarled, angry that he thought he could advise me.
Steel sighed, and that meant he was going to keep talking. Fuck me.
“She seems better. Different. I think wherever she is and whatever she is doing has been good for her. If she’s running back to it, then she must agree.”
Her leaving had nothing to do with that. It had to do with getting away from me.
“She’d scared of me. Of what we have. I can’t love her, and she wants romance.”
Steel didn’t speak up right away. Love and forever weren’t exactly things he was knowledgeable in. I wouldn’t point that out. I was a bastard at times, but even I wasn’t going to throw salt on that shit today. He didn’t need it.
“Then she has gotten smarter. She knows that and she wants more. She respects herself now.”
I glared at him wishing he would leave me the hell alone. “I respect her. That ain’t our fucking issue.”
He shrugged. “Not the way I’m talking about.”
I was done with this conversation. Going back to that tent wasn’t happening. Dixie would give me frowns, Asher would be pissed. No one would fucking care that Scarlet had left me twice, now.
I walked toward the truck instead.
“You can’t be serious!” Steel called out.
I kept walking.
“Dixie and Asher hav
en’t even left yet!”
I threw up a hand and waved. “Tell ‘em I said congrats and shit,” I replied.
“Momma is gonna kill you,” Steel warned me.
That was possible. But I wasn’t going back. Even for my momma. I needed to be alone. Face this shit again and not end up in a black hole for weeks. Losing Scarlet was not going to put me under again.
“For once I your goddamn life think about someone other than yourself!” Steel yelled.
That caused me to pause. I should have just keep walking but fuck if I didn’t need to defend myself after that comment. Turning around slowly I leveled my gaze at Steel. “My leaving is thinking about someone else. Asher don’t want me here right now. I’m gonna need to get drunk. I’m angry. Fucking furious. I don’t need to be at this wedding. So back off me Steel. Go be the good guy somewhere else. Your lecturing me is about to cause a motherfucking scene.”
“STEEL!” Asher called out.
We both swung our attention to see Asher standing just outside the tent watching us.
“Leave it,” he said. “He needs to go. Don’t try and stop him. Come back here and let him go.” The authority in Asher’s voice was something we’d grown up with. He was the oldest. He was the one everyone respected.
Steel shot me one more frustrated glare, then headed back to the tent. I shifted my gaze back to Asher. He gave me a short nod, then turned and went back to his party. Back to his wife.
Fuck that sounded weird. Wife. Jesus why would anyone want one of those? And why would they be so damn happy about it? Seems like a life sentence to me.
“Is he fucking leaving?” Dallas said as he came from the dancefloor looking at all of us.
“Yes, Dallas. He is. Go back to dancing,” Asher replied.
Dallas stared at me as if I was an alien. “That’s shit!” he told Asher while looking at me.
“That’s not your business, kid. Get back in there and have some more fun.”
Dallas, like Steel, would do as Asher told them. Although neither was happy about it.
“Tell Dixie I said she made a beautiful bride and congrats for me,” I told Asher, feeling a tiny sliver of guilt over leaving.
He smirked. “Okay.” He was amused by my guilt. Fucker.
“Momma is gonna kill ‘em,” Dallas said loudly.
“No she won’t,” Asher said, then put his hand on our large baby brother’s shoulder and led him back to the others.
I stood there a moment watching them go. Wishing I found happiness in things the way they did. They’d all been so damn jolly when we were kids. I never understood them. When Asher had broken up with Dixie it had been the first time in my life I’d seen him go dark. Sure, we’d all been upset when dad died, but it hadn’t been a dark cloud over them.
Darkness seemed to follow me. It was a part of me. Held onto me. Joy wasn’t my friend. Scarlet had been the closest thing I’d experienced to happiness. It was one reason I was desperate to have her near me.
Dixie met Asher as they reached the tent. She lifted her eyes to me and with sad smile, waved to me before Asher put his arm around her and they went back to their party. She understood.
If Ari hadn’t shown up there was a good chance that Scarlet would still be here. But what good would that do? She’d have left eventually. Other girl would have come up to me. Said something stupid. Given Scarlet a reminder of the life I’d lived. Then she’d have gone.
Maybe it was better this way. Get it over with. Find a way to move on.
Brent hadn’t tried to stop me before I got in the truck. The only brother who wasn’t watching my every move. He was too consumed with Sadie. Good. Fucking perfect. That wouldn’t make Scarlet stay either.
Glancing back in the rearview mirror I pulled away from the house. Left the music and noise behind me. I was tempted to go sit at the lake and sulk in my depression. But I wasn’t sinking that low. I would find a distraction. Whiskey. My life. The same shit I always did. Why change now. I had no reason to try.
Scarlet
BEFORE I STARTED working, I needed coffee. Sleep had never come last night. I had tossed and turned, then finally got up and cleaned house . . . or trailer. Walking in the backdoor of the café I went for the coffee pot. Netty would have had some made for an hour now. She had to come in early to start the biscuits. They sold out faster than she could make them.
Netty held up a hand in a wave as I walked into the kitchen. “Didn’t think I’d see you back here for a couple days,” she called out. The large white bowl she used to make her biscuits for that past thirty years was in front of her.
“No reason to stay after the wedding,” I said, and got a cup down to get myself some coffee.
“I didn’t make that pot. It’s strong as shit,” Netty warned me.
I glanced around. Who else was here this early? I came in early every day to get the dining room ready. Ethel would get here in about twenty minutes. Jim would show up right before we opened. The swinging door that led to the back were the freezer was located suddenly moved and a tall blond-headed guy I’d never seen in my life came walking through. He was holding a package of bacon.
“Where you want it, Netty,” he asked her, then his eyes moved from her to me and he paused.
“Over by the stove,” she replied. “Scarlet this is Diesel. He’s Ethel’s great nephew fresh out of prison. Working here with us for a bit. He’s a good boy though. Known him since he was in diapers.”
Prison? Diesel? Was that seriously his name? I didn’t know what to say. I stood there with my coffee cup still empty and the smile I attempted didn’t even feel close to normal.
He nodded. “Nice to meet you.” He lacked any drawl. He wasn’t from the south. “Ethel’s warning makes sense now,” he added with a grin. He had dimples. Pretty blue eyes. Nice haircut. He looked nothing like a criminal. Not even any tattoos. None that I could see at least. He was wearing short sleeves. Didn’t criminals have arms covered in tattoos? And long hair? And beards? He was probably too young for a beard.
“You might want to water the coffee down,” he said, then nodded toward the pot. I still hadn’t said anything.
“Uh, yeah, okay. Thanks,” I stammered, then with a tight smile I turned back to the coffee and filled my cup anyway forgetting his suggestion. I needed the caffeine anyway.
“Did you find out if the eggs are being delivered before we open or do I need to run to the store?” Diesel asked Netty.
“Go on to the store and get five dozen. They’re claiming they’ll be here by six but I don’t trust Mike. He’s always running late on Sunday’s. Drinks too much on Saturday night,” Netty grumbled. Mike was the dairy and egg delivery guy. And he didn’t just drink too much on Saturday nights. He drank too much all the time. He smelled like whiskey all the time.
I took a sip of the black coffee and it was so thick I almost gagged. Coughing I reached for the milk to weaken it a bit.
“Warned you that was strong,” Diesel said with a chuckle.
It annoyed me. His chuckle. His stupid thick coffee. I wanted Netty’s coffee dammit. Why was he here? We were fine without him.
“I wasn’t aware I’d need a fork to eat it. I normally drink my coffee.” My tone was sharp. I should probably not sound as annoyed as I did. I glanced at Netty who looked amused as she rolled out her biscuits.
“I see you’re a ball of sunshine,” Diesel replied. “I’ll go get those eggs.”
I waited until he walked out the back door before turning around. Netty put the batch of biscuits she was working on in the oven. I had my side work to get to this morning. The flatware needed to be on the tables and the chairs needed to be taken off the tables where they would have been left last night when the place was mopped.
“Don’t sound like you’re happy about your visit back home,” Netty said as she closed the oven and turned her head to look at me. “Going home can be shit sometimes.”
I nodded.
“Ethel sure was hoping you’d hav
e a love match with that good-looking man that came in here. But she watches them soaps every day you know. Woman likes herself a romance.” Netty rolled her eyes, then went back to her bowl to start on another batch.
I just nodded my head in agreement. Ethel would turn on the tiny little television she kept back here at noon every day and start watching her shows. She’d fuss and rant at them like they could hear her. It was entertaining listening to her.
“I didn’t sleep much last night,” I admitted to Netty. I had been rude to Diesel. Netty liked him. He may be an ex-con but he was also Ethel’s family. My attitude had to change.
“We all have those days, weeks, hell, I’ve had those years.” Netty replied.
I started to say more but I let it go. Netty had biscuits to make and I had a dining room to prepare. Taking my nasty thick coffee, I went into the front of the restaurant and got to work getting the chairs down, then wiping the tables. I was about to put the little mason jars of fresh flowers together to go in the center of each table, something we only did on Sundays. Netty brought the flowers in with her.
Before I could get them from the bucket of water I saw them standing in when I got here, Diesel came in with the flowers in his hands.
“Netty said you’d be needing these,” he said without smiling as he sat them down on the nearest table.
“Yes, uh, thanks,” this felt awkward. I was too tired to fix it though.
“Need any help?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No, thank you.”
He turned to leave and I sighed in relief when he stopped and looked back at me. I could see he was about to say something but he thought about it, shook his head, and left without a word. Eventually, I needed to apologize for my rudeness. Just not today.
Ethel’s Cadillac flew into the parking lot going too fast like always. She’d be in here asking me a million questions about my being back so soon and the wedding. I picked up the coffee and took a big gulp.
If I let myself think about Bray Sutton my chest hurt, my eyes stung, and I felt a little lost. Driving away from that town had been easy, a relief. But Bray . . . I didn’t want to love him. We were ruined from the start.