by Abbi Glines
“No! I will not fucking enlighten you!” I yelled at him. “Stop trying to be my friend. Stop asking questions and giving advice. Because you have no idea!” His eyes were wide. The place was silent. There should be some noise.
The others—Netty, Ethel—they were listening to me yell. How could they not? I was screaming. My heart was slamming against my chest. Emotions churning inside me. I yelled at him like he’d wronged me. When he had done nothing but try and be my friend. How was he to know how my life was a crockpot of shit.
I didn’t look at any of them although I felt their eyes on me.
“I’m sorry,” I said not just to Diesel but to Netty and my boss. I walked back to the door I had just walked through. It closed firmly behind me. My car was where I had left it last night. My keys in the purse on my arm. I reached inside and found them. I liked this job. I liked the people here. But I’d just yelled and cursed out Ethel’s nephew like the crazy person I was. I’d shown them my unstable character. The girl I had hidden so well for years. It was bound to happen. My snapping. Mentally combusting. Was this it? My turning point into looney land.
“Scarlet!” Ethel’s voice called out loudly. I didn’t want to look at her. Listen to her. But I owed her. She’d given me a job when I needed one. Trusted a girl with no references or former jobs. With a deep inhale, I tried to steady myself for whatever dressing down I was about to get. Then I turned to face her.
She was stalking out toward me. A serious expression on her face. It wasn’t exactly a scowl but it was determined. I didn’t want Ethel to hate me. She’d been nice to me. Kind. They all had. Little did they know I was a ticking time bomb.
“Where do you think you’re going? We’ve got the breakfast crowd gonna be here in a few minutes. God knows that boy can’t handle this alone.”
I had expected her to yell at me, scold me, tell me to take myself on out and not come back. Never had I even for a brief moment thought she’d come out here to tell me to get back inside. Had she not seen me acting like a lunatic?
“You don’t want me to leave?” I asked, making sure I understood her correctly. Maybe she wanted me to finish my shift, then get out.
“Because you yelled at the boy? I’m not sure why or what he said but sometimes a woman has a reason to yell at a man. It happens. We’re females. They can say stupid shit. Now, come on. Ain’t got much time.” She said waving her arm toward her and the diner.
I still had a job.
I would think about Bray later. Tonight. When I was alone.
I could yell and scream in my camper. But not here. And not at Diesel. He’d done nothing but be nosy. How was he to know my past?
Bray
BRENT STOOD THERE glaring at me like I’d lost my damn mind. It was possible I had. “You can’t fucking move! What about your job? What about . . .” he trailed off before reminding me I had to take medication to function normally. Or what everyone else considered normal. I was capable of taking my meds without Momma reminding me every day.
My bags were packed and in the truck. I just needed Brent to drive me to Joe Kirks so I could buy the red 1998 Chevy Pickup he had for sale in his front yard. I had enough in my savings to pay cash and I’d taken it out of the bank on my way back into town earlier. Joe agreed to sell it to me for three grand if I paid cash. He’d been asking four grand.
I didn’t need to defend my leaving to Brent. Getting back to Robertsdale before Scarlet got out of work was important. Leaving her today I hadn’t been sure what I was going to do. I just knew I needed some space to get angry at her stubbornness and then calm the hell down and figure shit out. All that had taken about thirty minutes and I’d been on the road headed North before I realized my decision had been made.
“Just drive me to Joe’s,” I replied. “I’m buying the Chevy and going south. I don’t need your advice, Brent.”
Brent tilted his head back to stare up at the barn rafters and sighed loudly. “This is a major fuck up,” he muttered.
There were a lot of things I could say. Cruel things. But I didn’t. Just because Brent had moved on to Sadie didn’t mean it was okay for me to tell him what he’d missed from Scarlet. He hadn’t known her at all. She was more his friend he kissed than anything.
The door swung open and sunlight filled the room briefly as Steel walked in carrying a tool box and scowling at us. His shirt was soaked with sweat and his hair was equally damp. The summer heat was already in full force.
“Glad you two fuckers can stand around in the cool ass barn while I work. Don’t let me stop you from your girlie chatter.” His sarcasm was evident.
“He’s moving! Buying a truck and fucking moving to be with Scarlet! Talk some sense into his stupid ass.” Brent was disgusted. It annoyed me. Had he really paid attention to Sadie? The girl was giggly and silly. No depth. I wanted to stuff a sock in her mouth to shut her up regularly.
Steel had paused for a moment and looked at me. “Hmmm,” he replied with only a tiny amount of interest on his face. “Good luck with that. Don’t reckon it’s my business what the hell you do. You might want to give Momma a heads up though.”
I’d already planned on telling Momma. I was going out to the garden to talk to her before I headed to get the truck. “I am. Would you give me a ride to Joe Kirk’s so I can buy that Chevy he’s got for sale out in his yard?” I asked Steel deciding I was done trying to talk to Brent.
Steel nodded slowly. “That’s a good truck. Old but a classic. 1998 Chevy’s were made well. Nice body style. Talk to Momma and I’ll meet you back here in ten minutes. Brent you help me get this new cover over the well lifted. I just got the rotten one off.” He didn’t wait for Brent to respond before he dropped the tool box on the shelf and walked out. “Hurry. I got more shit to do,” he said as he left.
Brent shot me one last glare. “When this all goes to shit, I will remind you that I told you so.”
“When you finally put a piece of fucking duct tape on Sadie’s mouth I’ll start considering your advice on women,” I shot back at him, then followed Steel out of the barn to find Momma.
“You’re a motherfucking asshole!” he called out behind me.
“Yeah,” I agreed with a lift of my hand but didn’t turn around to look at him. He knew Sadie talked for the sake of hearing her own voice. He just didn’t want to admit that shit.
I headed toward the row with cabbage and root vegetables. This time of year the carrots, turnips, and beetroot were ready to pull. As well as the cabbage and if we were lucky the broccoli. I could see her on her knees in the dirt with a carrot she was inspecting in her hand. I’d grown up in this garden. As kids we’d run out to the garden, pull one of the carrots, wash it under the faucet out by the barn, then ate it as a snack. It had been years since any of us had eaten a carrot right out of the garden as a snack. Now we were more likely to grab a beer that we kept stashed in the barn cooler.
Momma looked up at me as I got closer and she heard my footsteps along the path. Frowning she shaded her eyes from the sun and studied me closer. Then with a knowing sigh she took the carrot and put it in the bucket beside her. How she could read our thoughts that easily always made me nervous. I swear the woman was either given some kind of gift from heaven to raise us or she was into witchcraft.
“You leaving?” she asked as I stopped, standing a few feet away from her.
“Robertsdale,” I replied.
“Scarlet ain’t wanting to come home then.” It wasn’t really a question. More of a statement.
I shook my head. “No. She’s happy there. Wants to stay. I can’t . . . I want to be with her.”
Momma stood up slowly. Her age starting to show in things as simple as standing after being on her knees. She dusted her jeans to get some of the dirt off, then stood straight and looked me directly in the eyes. “I reckon that girl has some bad things in her past. People talk and I’ve heard enough about that momma of hers to know Scarlet’s childhood wasn’t a good one. Never saw a real smile on that girl’s fa
ce. So you be careful. I’m not saying she’s not worth chasing. I am saying she may run harder, fight meaner, and build walls you can’t climb. If she’s worth it you’ll figure it all out. If she’s not then there’s a bed in that house that will always be yours.” She stopped then. When she was done with whatever she planned on saying she ended the conversation. Asking her for more info than she provided was pointless. She’d give you all you needed to know first. No more.
“Thanks, Momma,” I said once I knew she was done. After a short nod, she pointed at the bucket by her feet. “Pick that up and carry it back to the kitchen on your way.”
I did as instructed, but as I walked back by her I stopped and put my arm around her shoulders in a small hug. “I love you.” I wasn’t one to say those words. Never had been. But at this moment I felt like she needed to hear them.
“I know you do, boy. I know you do.”
With a smirk, I walked back toward the house with the bucket of carrots in my left hand. Before I turned off the path that led where Momma was in the garden I heard her call out. “And I love you too.”
My smirk turned into a smile. “I know, Momma. I know.” I said quietly.
Scarlet
THE APPLE COBBLER wasn’t tart enough, the collards needed more salt, but the new warm potato salad was a hit. That could be because the Lions Club wasn’t eating today. It was almost as if the majority of customers knew my day was shitty and I needed them to go easy on me. The complaints about the cobbler, well . . . I had to agree with them. It was not Netty’s best. Once you’ve had her cobbler you expect delicious.
The two old men who complained about the collards more than likely needed less salt in their life anyway. The majority had been easy. A few had made me smile with their comments. Ethel had yelled across the restaurant asking Netty or Jim to bring her something or fix something. She had no inside voice.
It was Diesel who made the day difficult. He kept watching me like he expected me to burst into tears at any moment. He studied me. His smile rarely there. I hadn’t seen one dimple all day. That should be a reason to celebrate. He normally used his dimples as a way to get better tips. They worked better than any service I could render.
“Take the two old bastards at table five some of this blueberry cobbler and tell them it’s on the house,” Ethel told me not even trying to whisper. “And here are some fresh sugar cookies for those sweet babies at table seven. They’re headed home from vacation and need a treat to brighten their day.”
I took the tray from her and went to the table where George and Norman sat. George owned the Feed and Seed across the street. Norman was retired from the ministry. They met here for lunch most days. “Ethel wanted the both of you to have a slice of Netty’s cobbler. It’s really good today,” I assured them.
Norman smiled. “Well, thank you, Scarlet.”
“She called us Bastards. I heard her. The evil witch,” George said picking up his fork. “Looks delicious.”
Norman only chuckled then took a bite of the cobbler and finished it up with a sound of appreciation. “Netty outdid herself.”
“She better after screwing up the apple cobbler,” George replied.
“You two enjoy,” I said to them as I made my way over to the next table. It was a family from Tennessee. They had twin girls who were five years old and they were sad their beach vacation was over.
“Mrs. Ethel wanted you two to have these. She said they make the traveling back home easier,” I placed a cookie in front of each freckle-faced redhead.
The talkative one looked up at me. Her smile was missing a front tooth. But only one so far. “I like your hair. I wish mine looked like yours.”
Her hair was a bright orange. I couldn’t be sure it would ever darken but she was adorable anyway. Mine had been that color once. It had turned into this by the time I was eight though. Red hair can be tricky. “I think yours is beautiful like that. As are you. Both of you.”
That reply got big smiles from both girls. The other one who was shyer was missing both of her front teeth. I knew all too well about the summer sun causing freckles. The two of them would be a perfect summer picture.
“Thank you!” they said in unison. Then their mother thanked me too. I nodded and headed back to the kitchen. Diesel was standing there watching me again. His arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his face.
“You need to take your break. I can handle the rest of the lunch crowd. It’s thinning out anyway.”
I wasn’t hungry. I shook my head. “I don’t need a break. I can wait until three.”
“That’s in twenty minutes. Go on now.”
“No, Diesel. I don’t need to,” I replied firmly. He wasn’t my boss. I didn’t need his concern. Or his advice.
“You didn’t eat breakfast either,” he continued.
I wasn’t going to argue right here in front of the entire dining room. Instead, I pushed past him and into the kitchen. The tea was getting low and we wouldn’t completely thin out until three thirty. I had planned on making more once I had my tables taken care of.
“I’ve seen his kind. He’s an asshole. You’re better than that.”
I froze, my hand on the tea bags I had picked up and I took a deep breath before moving again. This was not the time to lose my temper with Diesel. I had already done that once today. Ethel had forgiven me. I needed him to back off and let me work now.
“Diesel, I’ve known Bray most of my life. There is nothing I do not know about him. You, however, have known me a short time. You’ve briefly met Bray. So please, back off. Shut up and do your job. Let me do mine.”
That was kind enough I thought. Not too bossy. Not too angry. Just to the point.
“Girl is right, boy. Stay out of her business. She ain’t asking you for any advice. Table six just left. Go bus it,” Ethel said behind me.
I breathed a sigh of relief. Saying thank you to Ethel for getting rid of her nephew seemed a little rude so I went about making the urn of tea like I had planned on.
“He means well. He has a protective streak when he cares about someone. You made it onto that list. I’m afraid he cares too much. I’ve seen you barely able to smile today. The sadness in your eyes tells me that your heart is hurting. That means it’s taken. He’ll accept it eventually.”
I simply nodded as I turned to look at her. I didn’t have to be told Diesel liked me. No guy would be that involved in my moods and life if he didn’t. But Ethel was right. My heart was hurting. But even if I didn’t love Bray, I wouldn’t ever be able to love Diesel. He was too happy. There was no darkness there and he’d been in prison. Even that hadn’t brought him down. He made me laugh and smile when I needed it but that never took away what was underneath. And I knew it was something he would never be able to live with. It was too twisted.
“Thanks for understanding,” I told her.
She chuckled. “We are females with a lot going on in our lives. These men don’t get it. We gotta stick together.” She winked. Then she walked off with a pat on my shoulder. “You make some fine sweet tea, girl.”
I wanted to go find a quiet place and check my phone for calls or text. And maybe cry a little. Not enough to make my face red and blotchy but to get some of the pain out.
Bray was a balm to my soul. He had no idea. But he was. Being near him made everything hurt less. Often it faded away. In its place came happiness. Excitement. Going to Dixie’s wedding might possibly be the worst thing I ever did. Because now I was reminded how good it felt to be in his arms. I had to get over it again.
Bray
GETTING BACK TO Scarlet was important, but before I got there I had one last thing to do. Stop by her parent’s house. Her mother’s expensive ass luxury car was in the drive. I knew several guys from high school who had fucked the woman. Everyone in town knew about her. Her husband had to know. Yet they were still married. The bastard must not give a shit.
I climber out of my new old truck and walked down the sidewalk toward the front
door. I’d never been in this house. Scarlet had rarely ever stayed here. Most of the time she could be found at Dixie’s or with Dixie. Not at her own house. I never questioned it because it made sense to me.
The door was elaborate but it needed some upkeep. It reminded me of a house that someone bought and couldn’t afford to take care of. Glancing around I saw dead plants, paint that had been peeling for a long while now, and the entire building needed a good washing. Momma would be disgusted if she saw this.
I rang the doorbell and waited. Nothing. I gave it a couple minutes, then I rang it again. It was after lunch. The woman had to be awake. I was about to ring it for the third time when the door opened and Scarlet’s mother opened the door. She was in a short revealing night gown. Her hair messed up from sleep and mascara smeared under her eyes where she’d slept in her makeup.
She ran her eyes over me slowly, then smiled. “Hello,” she purred.
“Mrs. North, I’m Bray Sutton ma’am, and I’m here to get Scarlet’s things.” I didn’t ask for them. I wanted to make it clear there was no room for argument. I knew Scarlet said her things were gone but I wanted to be sure.
She straightened then. A pinched look of annoyance on her face. “Why do you want Scarlet’s things?” she asked not nearly as welcoming as before.
“She needs them. I’m taking them to her.” The woman didn’t need more explanation than that.
She studied me a moment. Her face softening again. “You sleeping with my daughter, Bray Sutton?” It wasn’t a normal question and the way she asked it wasn’t either. It almost sounded flirty. As if talking about my sex life with her daughter was a challenge. Sick bitch.
Ignoring her I repeated “Her things?” I left no room for argument. My scowl was enough to let this woman know I was fucking serious.
“Angry and bossy,” she said doing some strange move that shook her breasts at me. “I like it.”
Jesus, no wonder Scarlet never wanted to come home. “Mrs. North if I could get Scarlet’s things I can be on my way. I’m not here for anything else.”