“I love you, Gracie girl, this doesn’t change anything,” he told her when the offer to university arrived.
For weeks he begged Grace to give them a chance at a long-distance relationship. No one else understood him the way Grace did, and he was the only person to bring her out of her nerdy shell.
No one else wanted to understand her love for math and science. He didn’t understand but accepted it and encouraged her be herself. During high school, he became as comfortable curled up on her bed helping her study, as he was supporting her from the sporting sidelines.
She never considered him dumb because he was more at home in the wood work shop than the class room. Her belief in him made him want to be more than a builder.
If only she trusted how much he loved her, trusted that he would have waited for her, moved to be with her.
Instead, all his energy and love funneled into renovating and building.
In his second apprenticeship year, he bought an old house, miles out of town. After reviewing the planning development proposals, he knew the council would be releasing land for a new sub development. The house location would only increase in value. He bought it with a couple of friends and within six months, they fixed it up and sold it with enough profit to do it again and again.
By the time council announced the sub development, they had enough cash to bid and win a large block perfect for town houses. They were the right friends with the right skills at the right time.
“Seth, the high school called again to confirm – are you sure you have time?” his secretary was a blessing and his secret weapon.
“I’ll make time – how many are they giving me this term?”
“Three – but Seth, you should know that one of them only got out of juvenile detention a couple of weeks ago.”
“What for?”
“Aggravated assault.”
“He wouldn’t have been locked up for that – can I meet him one-on-one first before I meet the others.”
“I’ll set it up. I heard about the sale – congratulations.”
“Thanks, and thanks again.”
“Miriam called about the reunion – she will be there.”
Seth smiled and pumped his fist, it had been almost too much to hope for to see Grace again. It didn’t matter she was living with someone else. No matter how much it would hurt to see them together, it was better than not seeing her at all.
“Thanks, I hate to ask …”
“Her name is Sienna and she’s coming too.”
The day passed quickly and by the time he pulled into the high school car park, he already identified his next project. It would be the largest one yet – his first commercial development.
“Seth, glad you still have time to be involved,” his old English teacher was now the principal and met him in the front office.
“I’ll always make time for these kids. If it wasn’t for you, I’d be locked up or worse by now.”
“Seth, you were always a good kid that needed a break.”
“Still, I owe you everything – and these kids do, too.” Seth followed Mr Compton across the quadrangle. “Who have you got for me?”
“Darby is waiting in the gym for you – he’s 16, has a single father, mother died a couple of years ago and since then Darby has hardly attended school or kept out of trouble.”
“I heard he got out of juvie last week?”
“Yeah, I tried to keep him out, but he copped a magistrate looking to make a bold statement, and to be honest, the kid ran out of chances. Of all the boys you have helped, he needs you the most.”
“And the others?” Seth picked up the pace as they walked through the school, eager to meet Darby.
“Blake is only 12 but still can’t read. He doesn’t see the point, but he is bright, and I think he would do well if he gets a little encouragement. Simon is everyone’s best friend, except for the newsagent who caught him shoplifting. He is probably the easiest – scare him a little with what his future could be like if he gets a record, and maybe offer him some part time work or something.”
“What support do you have for Blake?”
“His teacher is young, enthusiastic but can’t get him to listen to her. If you can start something with him, she will take over.”
“And Darby?”
“Mate, whatever you can do, it will make a difference. He deserves a break.”
When Seth entered the gym, Darby stood off to the side, basketball at his feet. Seth’s footsteps echoed in the empty room, but Darby didn’t even acknowledge his presence.
Sullen face, an angry young man. Darby was everything Compton warned him about and the sort of young man he signed up to help.
Seth picked up the ball, threw it at Darby’s chest without warning and stepped onto the court. In a physical game of one-on-one basketball to break the ice, Darby easily took the points, but Seth felt the brunt of his anger when Darby roughly shouldered him out of the way before playing the winning shot.
“Winner takes all,” Seth threw the ball at the boy. Darby started to dribble, but Seth charged through, grabbed the ball and nailed a long-range shot. He stifled a smile when he caught a glimpse of respect in the eyes of the young man. He took the opportunity to close the session with a nod, “Same time next week.” A statement not a question.
He made sure not to rub his shoulder until he returned to the safety of the front office.
The meeting with the other boys went a lot smoother. It wouldn’t take long to break through and get them focused on school and their future. Darby, well, he’d take a lot longer.
In the mean time, he had a new project to get up and running before he could self-indulgently focus on the weekend, and Grace.
Sienna
Sienna threw her work bag and purse on the table before going back into the kitchen and hugging Grace.
“Finally,” Grace’s lips tasted of the rich tomato sauce, “Oh, you started without me.”
“I had a small bowl, give me a second and I’ll reheat yours,” as soon as the microwave started whirring, “How did the school Board meeting go? I started to get worried.”
“Believe me, I never thought it would end,” Sienna collapsed onto the lounge, pulling a cushion over her head to scream, “I needed that. Round and round they went until the principal ended up calling Sadie and her parents to address the Board over speakerphone. I swear you would think that letting girls wear pants would bring down society!”
“I’m sorry, so they didn’t agree to change the policy?” she gratefully accepted the bowl of pasta as Grace went back to get two glasses of wine.
“Actually, between my logic and Sadie’s emotional plea, they agreed not only to change the uniform policy but want me to work with them on an ongoing basis,” luckily the pasta needed no effort to bite or chew. Even the glass of wine felt heavy to her lips.
“That’s great, what will you be doing?” Grace’s hands found the knots in the back of her neck, her thumbs working together to release the pressure.
“Review all of their policies and join their “Big Sister” program,” rotating her neck, “Oh, I needed that.”
“I’m so proud of you, the kids will love you.”
“I accepted the work but not being a “Big Sister”. It’s not my thing.”
“Why not?” the fingers stopped.
“I can’t think of anything worse than being responsible for someone, having them rely on me.”
“You should do it,” Grace urged, “Get some experience before we have our own kids some day.”
“Don’t push it,” Sienna tried to keep her tone light, but sat up out of reach. “I don’t want kids, never have and never will.”
“Never is a long time,” Grace pulled her back, kissing her shoulder before starting the massage again. “We don’t have to talk about it tonight, just enjoy your win. Sadie’s win.”
Sienna tried to relax her clenched jaw, even if she wanted to join the Big Sister program, it would only give
Grace ideas.
Instead of revisiting the argument that never ended, she changed the subject, needing something to bring them closer together.
“Thinking about the weekend away, have you organized where we are staying?”
Grace squealed, turning her into a hug, “Are you coming now?”
“Of course,” she spluttered between kisses, “You can’t get rid of me that easily. Have you booked somewhere?”
“No, I haven’t had time.”
“Guess your mum’s is still out of the question?” an old joke.
“Unless you want me in the single bed in my old bedroom and you are at the other end of the house in the guest room …” Grace laughed.
“Leave it to me,” she offered, the look of love back in Grace’s eyes, “It’s been a while since we had a dirty weekend.” Or a weekend without fighting, she thought.
“As long as it’s not too far out of town, sounds good.”
While Grace fell asleep beside her, Sienna got a second wind of energy and found a four-star hotel in a near by town that still had a honeymoon suite available.
“Are you celebrating a special occasion?” the receptionist asked.
“It depends on what my girlfriend says when I ask her,” not really a lie. The question, “Do you love me?” would require a full body response, making the weekend a special occasion.
“Certainly, we can book you our full-service package. It includes a couples massage, packed picnic lunch and champagne on arrival.”
No expense spared – even though Grace would end up paying off their credit card. Sienna felt the chasm between them during the whole debate whether to go or not.
With a weekend of indulgent romance, she needed to make this right. Plus, she thought, an organized booked dirty weekend wouldn’t give Grace time for anything, or anyone else.
“That sounds huge, book it all.”
Grace
Each mile on the odometer ticked over excruciatingly slowly.
Sienna hadn’t spoken since leaving Sydney. Stony faced, watching the road ahead while Grace made up for it, talking at a hundred miles an hour, trying to get Sienna as excited as she was about going home.
“About two miles up that turnoff is the best dairy farm. We used to go there late at night and drink the warm cows milk.”
“Why on earth would you do that!”
“Because we could,” how did Sienna not understand the joy of sneaking into a barn with a group of friends and doing something random.
“Can you smell that,” she wound down the car window, “Long wet grass patiently waiting for the cows to be turned loose on it. That’s the secret of the dairy around here. Heaps of rain and long, dark green grass.”
“Watch it!” Sienna screamed as Grace avoided a deep pothole at high speed.
“I saw it, they are everywhere. No boring city driving out here. Kangaroos, wombats and potholes.”
“So, essentially the roads are out to kill us.”
Tears from an event years ago threatened, “About a mile up ahead you’ll see an old eucalyptus tree with a cross, stuffed toys and flowers. One of my best friends died at the site in our final year of school. Apparently, she swerved to miss a kangaroo and hit the tree instead.” She choked back the tears, angry that Sienna made her remember and sad that she had forgotten. “I guess it’s proof that when man and machine hit tree, the tree would still be standing.”
“Sorry, babe. I never knew.”
“I don’t talk about it.” Fuck Sienna. She had tried so hard to make this weekend something they could both enjoy. Sienna didn’t want to understand and didn’t care.
For the last week, she ignored the forced smile and enthusiasm since Sienna consented to come. Harder to ignore was the structured itinerary Sienna put together.
“We’ll be there soon,” almost home.
“There should be enough time to unpack before we get our couple’s massage and confirm arrangements for the picnic tomorrow.”
“Why can’t we go and see what happen – wait and find out what everyone else has planned.” She didn’t want to have to choose between a picnic with her girlfriend and a luxury High Tea with her old friends. Something she had already agreed to, and hadn’t told Sienna about.
“We are only going for the weekend. We need to make the most of it.”
“The whole point was to catch up – you haven’t left me any time to see my old friends.”
“Don’t you want to spend time with me?” the pout and petulance wore thin.
“I might stay longer.” Possibly something she should have talked about with Sienna rather than telling her when they were almost there.
“What do you mean, you might stay longer? What about work?”
“I had a look at my schedule before I left,” she didn’t want to tell Sienna that she cleared her diary of anything that couldn’t be handled remotely. “There’s nothing I can’t handle by logging in. I haven’t been home in years and I don’t want to rush back.”
Friends had gotten married, some of them divorced. She hadn’t been around.
Friends became mothers – one lost her little girl in a tragic bathroom incident best spoken of in hushed tones. She called, sent flowers and a card – but she wasn’t there.
For the past five years, Grace lived a single life as a couple in Sydney, hiding away from her home and trying to fit in. Something about coming home felt like – well – coming home.
“I’ve always loved you in that,” she couldn’t stay mad at Sienna, not in the deep green and purple, flowing gypsy style dress. Perfectly suited to her soft brown hair, the ethereal goddess.
Grace straightened her own dress, knowing that every single time she wore it, the night ended up with amazing sex. She had taken her time in the bathroom, getting her hair and make up perfect. They would walk into the room together and show off to the world, or at least her friends, the depth of their love.
“Why are you wearing, that?” instead of kisses, Sienna spat the words at her.
“You bought it for me, I thought it was your fav?”
“Who are you trying to impress with it tonight?”
“You, I want to move past all the arguments and have a wonderful night showing you off.”
“Do you think that wearing that will make me change my mind? Yes, Grace. Of course, you look so sexy let’s get married straight away.”
“I didn’t mean …”
“Or is the dress to make sure you have a plan ‘b’ ready and waiting.”
“Fuck you, Sienna. I was wearing it for you.”
“I don’t believe you. Not tonight.”
There wasn’t enough time to change, and in any case, she didn’t want to. Instead, they both finished getting ready in silence not even holding hands as they walked into the school gymnasium.
A slight stumble in her high heels as they tentatively walked into the hall, through an archway of balloons and streamers. Around the hall hung large photos from their final year. She touched the image of her. Wrapped in her old blue woolen cardigan sitting high on the football bleaches. Her long blonde hair whipped across her face in the wind. Grace remembered the day, watching Seth in the football final. Hours spent by his side in hospital after he was carried unconscious from the field after an illegal tackle. She hadn’t thought about that day in years and had never seen the photo before.
“You look so young,” Sienna finally spoke.
“I was,” no need to say she also looked so in love. “I’m glad we came.”
“Grace!” A scream from behind. “Look, Grace made it!”
“OMG – you look amazing!”
“Grace, I swear you look exactly the same!”
“Gracie girl,” a huge bearded man grabbed her from Sienna’s hand and swung her around, “Fuck, we’ve missed you.”
People she barely recognized and hardly remembered came up to her with massive hugs and kisses.
Swept up in one greeting after another, Grace went with the fl
ow, introducing Sienna where she could, but losing her in the crush.
When Grace turned to look for Sienna, she found her at the other end of the room with a group of people looking equally bored and resigned to a night alone with their drinks.
She tried to care but after the grief of getting here and the dress, she wanted to enjoy the night and not care about her girlfriend’s feelings. For years she showed up as Sienna’s devoted companion and girlfriend to every party or protest Sienna agreed to.
Tonight, for one night only, she returned to being Grace – hockey legend and netball champion. Pulled onto a table of old friends, more hugs and kisses as she placed names and faces together.
Until she came face to face with the one, unforgettable, “Seth.”
“Grace,” the table went silent as everyone waited to see how the former lovers would greet each other.
“Seth,” Grace said, wanting to do more than shake his hand, but not knowing how she should greet him. Did he still resent the way she broke things off, or forgive her for replacing him so quickly and with a girl?
“Gracie, come here,” Seth’s arms opened, and all doubts evaporated like rain drops on a sizzling summer day. As his arms closed around her, she was taken back in time by the smell of his soap and shampoo. Nothing had changed.
Seth was and always would be, Seth.
Remember when
Seth
All the planning, all the practicing how he would greet her, whether he would look past her and intentionally acknowledge someone else. Anyone else.
Or would he trample over everyone to be the first to welcome her home.
Or any combination of what to say and how to say it and what to do that fell in between.
Everything disappeared with her single, “Seth.”
She hadn’t changed. Sure, her hair cut was far shorter than before, but instead of reducing her femininity, the lack of hair made her eyes even more prominent. The beautiful green eyes that once looked at him with such lust as they made love, now belonged to another.
Yet, nothing mattered when she said his name, “Seth.”
The Question Is Page 3