by Renee Rose
“Mechanical.” She shrugged, looking down at her hands holding the reins. “It’s boring. Math and physics. Calculations. That kind of thing.”
“You don’t like it?”
“Honestly?” She glanced my way, sighed. “No.”
“So why study it?”
“My dad is an engineer. Math and science were always things I was good at in school. So, it seemed logical. He pretty much said if I studied engineering, he’d pay for college. I needed his help with tuition, so that’s what I did.”
“And you and Audrey share the same dad?”
“From what we can gather, my dad and her mom got together for a one-night stand. They were eighteen or nineteen. My dad probably forgot her name that night. He met my mom and married her a few years later. They divorced because he found a newer model in his office. He isn’t much of a commitment type. Not for a wife or a kid.”
“Was he glad you went into engineering?”
She shrugged. “I don’t think he really cared. I mean, he pays the tuition. But I thought… I thought we’d have something in common.” Looking my way, she gave me a fake smile. “Silly, right?”
I moved my horse a little closer to hers, so our legs bumped. “Nah. Parents are supposed to give out love unconditionally. It doesn’t sound like your dad was even around. Nothing wrong with wanting to be closer to him.”
“Well, it didn’t pan out.” Vulnerability flickered on her normally bright face, and my chest tightened for her.
Dammit, I wanted to make up for every wound she’d ever received. I wasn’t going to push the fact that her dad sounded like an asshole. If he hadn’t been there for her at all, he didn’t need to ruin our ride.
“Not every man will let you down.” Fuck, I’d always be there for her. Unconditionally. Even if it killed me. Even if it meant pushing her away. That made no fucking sense to anyone but me.
She shot a glance at me through her lashes, then looked away, like she didn’t know how to take that. Fuck, I’d confused the hell out of her.
I’d confused the hell out of myself.
Trying to woo a female without touching her? It was like some kind of Olympian challenge.
But I was going to keep at it.
“If you hadn’t chosen for him, what would you have picked as a major?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. Nothing ever called to me.”
“Okay, so forget school.” There was a boulder in the way, and I steered us around it. “If you could do or be anything—you know, like if you had the magic wand or genie in the bottle who could just make it come true—what would you do?”
Her eyes lit up. “I’d own a cute little small-town bakery and make people happy with my chocolate chip banana bread or my Tiramisu roll cake.” She gave a sad laugh. “My dad would consider that a huge failure.”
Small town. She said small town. That boded well. As for a huge failure, Marina could never be one. I doubted she’d believe the words, so I’d have to show her. Get her to believe in other ways.
“I want to be made happy with your banana bread, little girl.”
She turned up the dial on those dimples. “I will make you some, then.” She lowered her lashes. “I could make you happy in other ways, too.”
She was fishing, trying to get me to say something like I wanted to drag her to the grass and fuck her here and now. Or lean toward her and kiss her. Something.
But I couldn’t, and I watched her face as the realization that I wasn’t going to do anything sank in.
“Come on, I’ll show you the waterfall. I don’t think we have time to go for a dip today, though. I promised to get you back for the wedding preparations, and I’m not going to be the asshole who breaks a promise to you.”
“Wow,” she murmured, rubbing her lips together.
“Wow, what?”
“The things you say.”
I cocked my head. “What about them?”
She blushed. “Nothing. Nevermind.”
“Come on. I’ll, uh, show you the falls.”
She looked away. Fuck. Were those tears in her eyes? Great. I was trying to do the right thing here, and it came across as being a total dick.
I kicked Cinnamon into a canter. I was not out here to fuck my mate. I was not out here to fuck my mate. I was not...
I took her up to the top of the ridge where the hot spring originated, and we could look down on the swimming hole.
“Wow, this is amazing,” she murmured. Hopefully this place would distract her from her disappointment. Our horses side-stepped next to each other, and Lucy lowered her head to eat the tender shoots of grass.
“Can we come back? Maybe tomorrow?”
“Um… sure.”
The idea of skinny dipping with her, getting her naked and wet and beneath me was going to fill my head all day. Like my wolf wasn’t already in enough of a frenzy.
We headed back down the ridge, and that’s when I saw it—a herd of cattle grazing on Sheffield’s lower forty.
They didn’t look like our cattle, these were a different shade of brown, but I urged Cinnamon forward to take a look. When we reached them, I held up my hand. “Stay here for a minute. I want to check the brand on these cows.”
She reined in Lucy, and I got close enough to one.
“JM” was the brand on its hide. Jett Markle. He was the flashy New Yorker who’d bought up the property on the other side of Sheffield’s place, Rob had told me. Boyd had had a run in or two with him. Hated his guts. I could see why now. Who the fuck let their cattle roam on someone else’s land? A total dick, that’s who.
Rob had told me he’d shot one of our pack members last month—a teenager running in wolf form for an illicit visit to his girlfriend. Markle hadn’t seen the kid shift, and I heard Boyd had given him a black eye and told him he’d shot our dog.
Not only that, Markle wanted to buy the Shefield land, perhaps double the size of his property, which meant we’d be next door neighbors to the asshole. It didn’t bode well for our need to run in wolf form. The man was a fucking problem.
And now, apparently, he was moving his cows onto Sheffield’s place as if he owned the place.
“What is it?” Marina asked, when I returned.
I shook my head. “They belong to the next ranch over. I don’t know what they’re doing on this land.”
“Probably the same thing we are.” She smiled impishly. “Maybe they want to go skinny-dipping, too.”
My cock went hard again, and I had to adjust myself. “Stop talking about being naked, little girl.”
“Or what?” she challenged with a smirk.
I growled. “Or… fuck.” I looked away.
“Right.” Disappointment rang in her defeated tone. “What’s the scoop with the cows? Are they lost?”
“No, I have a feeling Jett Markle is using this property like he owns it.”
“Well, aren’t we?” she asked. “I mean, the waterfall is on the same property.”
“Technically,” I grudgingly agreed. “We’ve had a long-standing arrangement with the guy ever since my parents ran the ranch. Hell, before me and my brothers were born. He gave us permission to be here. We helped each other out. That’s what neighbors do. Markle just moved his cows right on in.” I sighed. “We’ll have to call his niece and make sure she knows about Jett’s cattle being over here.”
Marina nodded. She knew nothing about cows or grazing land, so it was a short conversation. But I’d need to have a long one with Rob and what the fuck he was going to do with Jett Markle.
“Well, little girl, I’d better get you back, so you can get all dolled up for the wedding. While you’re doing that, I’ve got to talk to Rob.”
15
MARINA
* * *
“So what’s with you and Colton?” Audrey asked, an hour later.
After the riding, Colton had given me directions, and I’d driven one of the ranch trucks to Audrey’s and Boyd’s cabin in the woods. He’d wan
ted to drive me, but since he still had to rub down the horses, I put my foot down. In return, he refused to allow me to take my tiny rental, saying it would probably bottom out on the dirt road to get there. Once I parked in front of Audrey’s and Boyd’s cute place, I had to agree he was probably right. This place was remote, and the access road was… rustic.
When Audrey came out onto the porch to meet me, I knew she was happy here. I felt a pang of jealousy… again, but tamped it down. She deserved a good man, and Boyd was it.
“Now that I finally have you all alone, I want to hear all about you and Colton.”
She led me inside. The walls were log, the main room a living room, kitchen and dining room combination. The kitchen had been updated or was in the process of it, but I could see modern touches in the granite counters and new fridge. The rock fireplace went from floor to ceiling, and I knew it would make the place cozy in the winter.
Now, all the windows were open to let in the gentle breeze. It smelled like pine and… wildness.
“We met by chance in front of a washed-out road.”
“And you shared a motel room because of the storm.”
“Right.”
“Yet he seemed really surprised when he came into the kitchen when he arrived.”
I blushed. “That’s because I didn’t tell him who I was.”
She pushed her glasses up. She’d already showered, and her hair was blown out but hadn’t been styled. “But you knew who he was?”
I nodded.
“Oh boy. No wonder he was so… wild.”
I thought about how he’d carried me off and punished me.
“Yeah,” I said on a breathy sigh.
“Please say you used protection,” she said, looking her down her nose at me.
“Audrey!” I gasped. “I’m not a patient of yours. I’m your sister.”
“Even more reason to check in.” When I only frowned at her, she continued with her hands up. “I’m not saying he’s got chlamydia or something, but you don’t want any babies right now.”
“Okay, Dr. Wolf. I’m good. I’m covered. No STD. No baby.”
She studied me, then whispered all dreamily, “I’ve never heard anyone call me by my married name before.”
“Well, speaking of not using protection.” I eyed her still flat belly. “It’s a little late now to have second thoughts about that name.”
She shook her head and set her hand at the base of her neck. “Zero second thoughts.” She paused, smiled at me. “You like him. Colton.” She studied me, and I had to look away. “I mean, really like him.”
“What’s not to like?” I admitted. “Can I shower? I smell like horse.”
“Horse?”
“Colton took me for a ride.” I smiled. It had been so much fun, and Lucy was a sweetheart. I was going to sneak her carrots or whatever treats horses ate.
She pursed her lips trying not to smile. “I’m sure he did,” she said, leading me into the bedroom.
“Not that kind of a ride.”
I set my things down. She grabbed a towel for me in the linen closet, and I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I stalled under the hot water thinking of Colton. He was a hot, dominant, and extremely confusing man. I honestly had no idea where I stood with him.
He wasn’t just being nice entertaining the little sister. I’d swear he had feelings for me.
Not every man will let you down.
I wanted to give him the chance to prove it, but he wasn’t biting.
When I dried off, Audrey shouted, “There’s a robe behind the door.”
I wrapped the towel around my head and put on the robe then joined her in the bedroom. She was putting on her makeup standing in front of her dresser with a large mirror over it.
“Your cell rang,” she said her head tipped back as she put mascara on.
I dug it out of my purse and listened.
“Hello, this is Janine Fitz in the bursar’s office calling again. I do need a call back about your payment for fall semester. I spoke with Mr. Thompson, and he indicated he is no longer paying the bill. Please call me right away to get this matter settled.”
I stared at my phone as I ended the recording. No longer paying the bill? That couldn’t be right.
“What’s wrong?”
“Dad told the school he’s not paying my tuition anymore.”
She turned around, leaned against the dresser. “What? Is this normal behavior?”
I looked up at her. My stomach clenched. “Not paying? No, he’s paid. It’s the only parental duty he’s come through on.” I realized what I said and went over to her, took her arms in mine. “I’m sorry. I know he gave you absolutely nothing.”
“Marina,” she said, her voice soft. She didn’t look upset, but she was a doctor. She had to hide her emotions for patients all the time, I was sure. There had to be a class in hiding emotions in medical school. “I don’t care about him. He was never there for me. Ever. There was no void because he was never there to begin with.”
She stepped away, grabbed the mascara brush and shoved it into the base, then pulled it back out. “Today’s my wedding day. My dad’s not walking me down the aisle. I’m glad because I only want people who truly care to be here. To me, he was a sperm donor. I’m just sorry for what he’s done to you. He’s hurt you.”
I bit my lip, tears welling in my eyes. “Yeah, I guess I always wanted more from him, you know?”
She nodded. “Call him. Maybe there was a mix up. Maybe she got it wrong.”
I swiped my phone, did as she said, even though I knew in my heart there was no mistake. “Dad, hi.”
“Marina. Hello.”
He didn’t say anything else. No how are you or what have you been up to?
“Listen, Dad, did you get my texts?”
“Yes.”
I frowned. Then why hadn’t he responded? “The school called and said you haven’t paid the fall tuition.”
“Right, about that. I’m in Miami right now with Cindy. We’re about to get on a connecting flight to the Bahamas.”
“Okay.” I had no idea who Cindy was, but I assumed one of his long line of women he dated for a few months, then dumped. “So the school bill?”
“There is no money for tuition. I’ve spent it on a rental property in the Caribbean. We’re staying there for a few months.”
I stared at Audrey’s bedroom wall processing his words. No tuition.
Of course, he let me down again. Every. Fucking. Time.
“But Dad, you said you’d pay for my education if I studied engineering. That’s what I’m doing.”
“I know, but the money is gone, cupcake.”
What. The. Fuck?
“It wouldn’t have been gone if you’d given it to the school.”
“Things change, kid. Cindy needed a break, and I used the money.”
Things change. He was right. They did. Including me. My dad had let me down. Big time. Why was I so surprised? Why did I always come last to him? Mom had gotten the shaft years ago, but I’d been strung along. Or maybe I’d just let him.
“Yeah, I’ve figured it all out,” I snapped. “You don’t give a shit, do you, Dad? You never have.” I spun in a circle.
“Okay, Marina. That’s enough.”
I glanced at Audrey who stood there, watching. Listening. She knew exactly what was happening.
“No, Dad. It’s not enough. It’s never been enough.”
With that, I hung up.
Audrey came over and wrapped me in her arms. “You okay?”
I nodded, staring blindly at the bed. “I’m done. My whole life I’ve been trying to be the good little girl in hopes I’d keep his attention. But now I finally see. I’m not the problem here. That man is incapable of being a decent father. He’s the definition of emotionally unavailable. He’s selfish and a total dick. I think I’m starting to see what you’ve been saying all long. You were the lucky one. He didn’t even try with you, so you didn’t develop
these fucked up feelings of not being good enough.”
“Yes,” Audrey murmured.
“All this time, I’ve been wondering what I could do differently to be enough for him. I was bending and contorting myself to be what I thought he wanted. I stapled, folded and crunched myself to fit into the mold I thought he wanted for me. When in fact, he never wanted me in any mold because I don’t think he ever wanted kids at all!”
Aubrey blew out her breath. “I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s good. I finally realized it’s not my fault.” I tossed my phone on her bed. “None of it is. And I’m done trying to make someone love me who doesn’t. The toxic cycle ends here.”
“You’re absolutely right.” She took the towel off my head and stroked my damp hair. “You're worth more. You deserve all the love and respect in the world."
I looked her in the eye. “I don’t need that asshole.”
“You don’t. You have me. We’re family now.”
I had Audrey. And I had myself. Maybe for the first time. I squeezed her tight. “I love having a sister. You’re the best gift I could’ve ever received.” My eyes grew damp. “And I love that you’ve got Boyd, that you’re having a baby. I can’t wait to be an aunt!”
“You’ve been the gift in my life, too.”
“We don’t need him.”
“We never did.” She set her hand on my shoulder and met my gaze. “You’re strong all on your own.”
I nodded. “Yes. I think I’m just realizing that.”
Audrey smiled. “And you’ve got me. After tonight, I’ll be a Wolf, and you’ll have a family here. With all of us. That is, if you want.”
I moved and sat on the edge of her bed. “Well, it doesn’t look like I’m going back to school.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Oh yes, you are. You’re getting that degree.”
I threw my arms in the hair. “How? I don’t have the money for the tuition. Even if I picked up a full-time job on the side, I doubt it would cover all my expenses. God, I’m so naive, setting myself to be like this. I should’ve known and been prepared.”
“I have the money. I’ll give it to you. You’re not dropping out because our father is an asshole.”