4. Reeves, Karen, ‘Female Breadwinners: a subtle but significant shift in women’s paid employment in the 21st Century’, PhD Thesis, University of Sydney, March 2013, p. 1
5. Australian Bureau of Statistics 2011, Census of Population and Housing, ABS, Canberra analysis provided by Jennifer Baxter, Australian Institute of Family Studies
6. Baxter, Jennifer, ‘Parents Working Out Work’, Australian Family Trends No. 1, Australian Institute of Family Studies, April 2013, at http://www.aifs.gov.au/institute/pubs/factssheets/2013/
familytrends/aft1/
7. Reeves, Karen, ‘Female Breadwinners’
8. Ibid., p. 147
9. Ibid., p. 148
10. Ibid., p. 85
11. Ibid., p. 151
12. Ibid.
13. Ibid., p. 146
14. Ibid., p. 149
15. Ibid., p. 153
16. Kabeer, Naila, ‘Marriage, Motherhood and Masculinity in the Global Economy: Reconfigurations of Personal and Economic Life’, UC Santa Cruz: Center for Global, International and Regional Studies, 2007
17. Ibid., p. 18
18. Stuart, H. Colleen and Moon, Sue and Casciaro, Tiziana, ‘The Oscar Curse: Status Dynamics and Gender Differences in Marital Survival’, Social Sciences Research Network, 27 January 2011
19. Ibid.
20. Kraft, Kornelius and Neimann, Stefanie, ‘Effect of Labor Division between Wife and Husband on the Risk of Divorce: Evidence from German Data’, Institute for the Study of Labor, IZA DP, no. 4515, October 2009
21. Kalmijn, Matthijs and Loeve, Anneke and Manting, Dorien, ‘Income Dynamics in Couples and the Dissolution of Marriage and Cohabitation’, Demography, vol. 44, no. 1, February 2007
Conclusion
1. http://data.worldbank.org/indicator/NV.IND.MANF.ZS?page=4
2. Bianchi, Suzanne and Robinson, John and Milkie, Melissa, Changing Rhythms of American Family Life, 2006, cited on pp. 52–53 of Eagly/Carli, 2007
3. Reese, Hope, ‘Studying US Families: ‘Men Are Where Women Were 30 Years Ago’, Atlantic Monthly, 27 March 2014 at http://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/03/studying-us-
families-men-are-where-women-were-30-years-ago/284515/
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
The first thing to say about this book – written at warp-speed, much of the time either late at night or with one small person or other sitting under the desk – is that it would never have been written without the help of Madeleine Hawcroft. Madeleine, a brilliant young woman who as series producer for Kitchen Cabinet has done everything from wrangling prime ministers to procuring weird ingredients, proved equally invaluable to this book – and its grateful author – as ace researcher, proofreader and dispenser of wise counsel. One day, Madeleine will be the boss of everything; to exploit her in the meantime has been one of my great professional pieces of good fortune.
The second thing to say is that neither would this book have happened without the small people under the desk. You little varmints are, above everything, the delight of my life.
To my regular employers who allowed me to take leave and write the thing – Mark Scott, Kate Torney and Gaven Morris at the ABC, and the Fairfax Sunday editors – thank you for your patience.
I have been assisted mightily by individuals far more expert than I in the field of gender, family and work. Some patiently endured phone calls: Elizabeth Broderick and her staff, Lisa Annese, Terrance Fitzsimmons, Marian Baird, Kaz Cooke, Graeme Russell and – of course – the redoubtable Jennifer Baxter. Others too numerous to mention here wrote books, articles and theses to which I am heavily indebted. Especially those who did the kooky social experiments – you are excellent.
I asked a lot of people some very nosy questions in the course of writing the book, and from politicians to political spouses to businesspeople to stay-at-home mums and dads and people I met on Twitter, I encountered so many interesting and thoughtful responses. These are not always easy issues to discuss publicly, and I thank you all very much for being so helpful.
Leigh Sales, Julia Baird, Miranda Murphy, Samantha Maiden, Rachel Healy, Helen McCabe and Maria O’Brien maintained enthusiasm in the face of repeated harangues, and offered valuable insights and ideas, for which many thanks. Lisa Wilkinson’s support for the book was immediate, generous, and vastly appreciated.
Nikki Christer at Random House deployed her customary charm and enthusiasm to get this project on the way. My debt to her goes back a decade to when she rescued my first book, an act of faith I have never forgotten. I would also like to thank Catherine Hill, Deonie Fiford, Sophie Ambrose, Josh Durham and Peri Wilson for variously belting the thing into shape, making it look good and organising the author. Additional thanks on this front to Fiona Inglis, an author-organiser from way back.
I am constantly aware of how fortunate I am, not only to have and love a job that allows a measure of flexibility, but also to have the kind of help without which a sustainable juggle would be impossible. As would (to state the arterially-bleeding obvious) an entire book.
So many people have made my life easier in one way or another over the course of this book’s genesis. They include Jodi Fleming, Deb Claxton, Sue Bath, Anja Seidel, Nico de Soleil, Lisa Whitby, and of course Madeleine. Not to mention the entire Storer family (Jen, Brian, Margot and Rob, Joseph, Uncle Mark, Damien and Anisa, Tim and Belinda), who provide a sophisticated child-entertainment network incorporating books, Scalextric and model aeronautics, stretching all the way from Adelaide to Sydney; my parents (of whom more in a moment) and my brothers James and Tom.
Special thanks to Miranda Murphy and Fiona Hughes, for all the times you’ve generously complicated your own juggles by accommodating an extra ball or two from my place.
I owe a lot to mothers. My own, for starters – Christobel. Her good humour, unflappability and unfailing generosity (not to mention her preparedness to run rescue missions from rural South Australia) have meant the difference between failure and success to many of my more ambitious enterprises, from Canberra sitting weeks with newborns to white-knuckle rides between Kitchen Cabinet shoots. Her sister, Elizabeth Coles, is also an astounding mother and continuing world standard-bearer for cheerfulness in the face of life’s intricate challenges; as is their mother – my Granny, Sheila Riggs, now in her late nineties – whose love of reading I inherited, and whose potent combination of charm and fearsomeness I still hope some day to develop. And my oldest friend Wendy Sharpe is an inspiration to me in the art of mothering, among so many other things.
I owe a lot to fathers, too: I thank mine, MacDonald, for his love, adventurism and support, and for his impeccable foresight in buying a hovercraft before they were fashionable. To all those fathers who push, every day, to exceed rather than fulfil the expectations of them as parents, I say: good on you, chaps.
And to Jeremy, most importantly of all: thank you for your love and attention and for three beautiful children and for never thinking anything is impossible, even when it really just about is. Thank you for your patience with me over the writing of this book. And thank you for – when faced with a choice between more involved and less involved – always going for the former. You are a great man, and I love you.
INDEX OF SEARCHABLE TERMS
Abbott, Margie
Abbott, Tony
advertising stereotypes
female competence
male incompetence
Andrews, Karen
Annese, Lisa
Arbib, Mark
Asda commercial
assumptions about women’s priorities
Australian Bureau of Statistics
Time Use Survey
Australian Work and Life Index
average Australian
Babbage, Melissa
Babcock, Linda
Baby Bonus
Baird, Marian
Barón, Juan
Barr, Natalie
Baxter, Janeen
Baxter, Jennifer
Beazley, Kim
/>
Becker, Gary
Beloff, Halla
Bergman, Ingrid
Berry, Halle
Biernat, Monica
Birmingham, John
birth of children
changing working life after
daughters, effect on fathers
effect on father’s working life
effect on mother’s working life
equal incompetence on
female politicians
housework load, effect on
parental leave see parental leave
Bishop, Julie
Bittman, Michael
Bland, Harry
Blewett, Neal
books about why women don’t succeed
Boyer Committee inquiry
‘break point’ (work/life)
Broderick, Elizabeth
Brown, Edith see Cowan, Edith
Brown, Kenneth
Bullock, Sandra
Bunting, John
Burgess, Stephen
Burke, Anna
Carnegie, Dale
Carnegie, Dorothy
Carr, Bob
Cash, Michaelia
Centre for Work and Life study
CEOs and senior executives
childhoods of
cooperative spouse
gender differences
gender pay gap
Leaders in a Global Economy study
selection of
statistics on gender
work–life balance and
Chait, Jonathan
Chapman, Austin
child care
assumptions about responsibility
competence of women
cost-benefit analyses
definition of
differences between men and women
increase in time spent
increase in work hours and
responsibility for
valuation of
who pays for
childless politicians
children
assumptions about women’s priorities
average Australian
birth of see birth of children
care of see child care
changing working life for
effect on career choices
effect on earnings and employability
expectations of parenthood
fathers missing time with
female politicians
flexible work to care for
government payments for
juggling work and
leaving work to care for
male politicians
parental leave see parental leave
politicians
Chiquita
Clinton, Chelsea
Clinton, Hillary
Clooney, George
Cobb-Clark, Deborah
Cohen, Geoffrey
Combet, Greg
Commonwealth Public Service Act, s
competence of women
advertising stereotypes
raising children
Coontz, Stephanie
cooperative spouse
Cousins, Greg and Ruby
Coutts-Trotter, Michael
Cowan, Edith
Cowan, James
Craig, Lyn
Crawford, Joan
Crean, Simon
dad moments
Dawson, Justice
digital revolution
Diversity Council study
divorce
development of law
domestic load, effect on
no-fault
Oscar Curse
valuation of wife’s contribution
domestic workers
wives as
Downer, Alexander
Draper, Thomas
Emerson, Craig
Equal Opportunities for Women Association
equal pay
lack of see gender pay gap
executives see CEOs and senior executives
Fallon, Jimmy
fathers
flexibility at work
missing time with kids
not taking paternity leave
stay-at-home dads
Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta study
female columnists, lack of
female super-competence
Fenton, James
films see movies
Financial Services Institute of Australasia (FINSIA) survey
Fischer, Tim
Fitzsimmons, Terrance
flexibility at work
associated with women
‘break point’ and
CEO and
fathers
men not asking for
people without children
reactions of others
women asking for
Fonda, Jane
Fox, Catherine
Francis, Frederick
Frankel, Lois
Furnham, Adrian
Gates, Melinda
Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media
gender inequality in workplace
gender pay gap
comparison with other countries
financial services industry
male/female perceptions of
women not asking for more
Gillard, Julia
Goodluck, Bruce
Gordon, Michael
Grattan, Michelle
Graycar, Reg
Grey, Rita
Groom, Littleton
Haines, Ian
Haines, Janine
Healy, Rachel
Heffernan, Bill
Hellicar, Meredith
Hepburn, Audrey
Hewitt, Belinda
Hewlett-Packard
Hewson, John
Hitchens, Peter
Hockey, Joe
Holman, Herbert Leigh
House Husbands
housework
assumptions about responsibility
birth of child, effect
definition of
different standards
divorce, effect
earnings and
exchange bargaining
gross domestic product not including
moving out of home, effect
time spent on
Time Use Survey
valuation of
wives as domestic workers
women out-earning husbands
Howard, John
Hunter, Governor John
‘husband’ and ‘wife’, use of
IBM study
ideal man
Iemma, Morris
incompetence in the home
advertising stereotypes
assuming in men
female breadwinners exaggerating male
females
males
politicians
screen dads
Industrial Revolution
IQ estimating
John, Alan
Johnson, Dr Samuel
Kabeer, Naila
Keating, Paul
Kelly, Gail
Kelly, Ros
Kerrisk, Michael
Kitchen Cabinet
Koch, David
Latham, Mark
Law, Jude
Leaders in a Global Economy study
legal profession
Leigh, Andrew
Leigh, Vivien
Loren, Sophia
loss of consortium
loss of servitium
Louis C.K.
Lyons, Enid
Lyons, Joseph
McGrath, Dr Philomena
McHugh, Jeanette
McHugh, Richard
Macklin, Jenny
McLeay, Leo
McMahon, Billy
Madigan, Dee
Male Champions of Change campaign
Marche, Stephen
Marek, Paul
marriage
advantages for men
disadvantages f
or women
keeping secret
premium
shotgun
specialisation in
wives as domestic workers
women forced to resign on
women working after
marriage bar
marriage premium
Marshall, Mr
maternity leave see parental leave
Mathieson, Tim
Maxwell, George
Megalogenis, George
Meisenbach, Rebecca
Mendelsohn, Dr Ronald
Menzies, Robert
‘Mere Male’ column
Milne, Christine
Mitchell, Sir James
Morgan, David
Morgan, Kate
Morrow, Jane
Moses, Charles
mothers’ groups
movies
fish out of water stories
full-time dads in
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