by C Churchill
All in a day’s work
Walking in pictures
Away from the truth
filters
I was chained to the day
Suffocating
In a collar thicker than the skin it rested upon
Twisted nonbelievers
Told me I could never win
I could never free
Never begin
Branded in this life
In his death
In a senseless act of violence
Left widow
And nonsense
Try as I did
I no longer fit in
Widowed in name, in place, in friend
I left the day
Left it for them
And took my place in the night
Where collars were for lips
And chains were nonexistent
night calling
Run with me
Naked
Under June skies
As they release
Rain a flood
Run with me
Naked
Feel the clouds
Free themselves
We will lay the same
On fields of pleasure
Their release wetting ours
Lay with me
Flesh upon flesh
Trickle down into shadows
Filling our darkness
Awakening a pulse
That had forgotten its pace
Lay with me
As the sky washes us free
From parched hearts
From parched voids
From a thirst
Stay with me
Naked
Free
In all things that are real
Let the June sky
Release a flood
In lieu of flowers
in lieu of flowers
Let’s kiss our way
Beyond the stars
And spend time
Exploring the universe
The clocks will shift
As they always do
For those who
Drink of the moon
And swallow
Forever
kiss me
One day I felt the earth tremble
One day it did quake
It tore love from my arms
In a true force way
There is no revenge
There is no plotting
For how we can battle the universe deciding
So, we plant our feet and extend our reach
Hoping the universe hears our plea
screaming
I walk along the road
Wave to the passerby
Smiling
With unsteady eyes
A common occurrence
Yes, I know
But awkward now in my timbers
Those smiles for no one
How obligatory
I have become
Blaming it on awkward
A staple left hanging
From another time
Just far enough away
To not cause damage
The faded paint peels
On this empty house
And the only ones who see
Smile
And wave
Fallen photographs collect dust
On a floor
Letting them know
We don’t live here anymore
For in everyday life
There are many small deaths
Brought on by the obligations
Of awkwardness
small deaths
My darkness is growing lighter
With every bridge I burn
open skies
The night has my throat
A death tight grip
Begging submission
In every slip
My torture
My tears
My tender misgivings
I am learning to trust the hands of darkness
And trying to breathe
While suffocating
Who will win?
trust
Full
I remember
The night I met the moon
There were a million stars
And silky layers of fireflies
The grass was cool under my feet
I remember
The night the moon met me
I was crumpled in tears
There were no fireflies
Nor silky layers
There was grass under my feet
And not much else
Through blinding waves of tears and darkness
The moon said stay
And I remain
no matter what
Let me wander
Let me free
Let me out from the things we see
Into the night please let me go
Untie my hands from what I know
Where I am
Where I am supposed to be
It is all too much
For one soul to bear
When the world looks sideways
And forgets you are right there
unseen
I don’t know time
Like I once did
It’s been winter for more than a song
The nights long
The birds sleeping
Blankets of white
Echo spaces
But I cannot say if it is midnight yet
Or even Tuesday night
I don’t know time
Like I once did
Thoughts are frozen
Stilled
On the banks of forever
Losing change
Like holed pockets
From hands just trying to find warmth
I don’t know time
Like I once did
Scrolling
Instead of strolling
The moon phases
Phase
The arms of every clock
Blur in a daze
I don’t know time
Like I once did
But I know my arms miss the minutes
And I know my hands miss the warmth
And I know
I miss you
always
Ravens stretched
Across my breath
Feathers longing to get in
They want this flight
More than I
But I am finally
Ready to give in
it’s time
The sun warmed my heart
But the moon warmed my soul
moonchild
If I sit
For hours
Take me
Take me to the night
Show me
The birds that sing
Under shadows
Show me the moon glow
Across webs we don’t see during the day
Show me
A magic I cannot see
During the bustle of normalcy
For the day holds tight
And I cannot see past circumstance
Where wee hours have held little charm
I am now ready
To experience
Darkness
fully
When stars align
And beauty has no price
I wish my hand in yours
We have fought clouds of fury
Under the weight of backbones
Bending
Twisting
To comply
Lashed by the sun
In all the wrong ways
Driven into the night
This passion plays
Not for the weak
Not for the weary
But reserved for those
Who seek true beauty
true beauty
His hands
Had no quiver
Steady as the horizon
Over curves of heartache
They traveled
But my body could not compete
Earth quakes
Earth shakes
Memories of unsteady hands and wavering glances
Plagued me
I had wanton eyes before
As well as wanton hands
But I have never had these hands
These eyes
Steady
Assured
Knowing a place
Knowing a future
The universe had spoken
Placed a pulse in my path
One to hold my nights
One to hold my gaze
But I could not look
I could not see
I was ritual
He was free
And I spoke in terms
While he spoke in energy
Two fish out of water
Searching for common air
I wonder if we can
Ever learn to breathe
learning
We are all monsters
We are all saints
Maybe that is everyone’s fate.
nonexclusive
I have been calloused
Beyond a labor life
Hardened beyond acceptable
My walls a labyrinth
No seeker has yet found
I wait in the center of this maze
On a throne with no name
Ruling the sky of little place
The smaller it gets
The less I know
I still rule
That is the only way to go
I support these walls
This kingdom
Of no one
stubborn
The trees have been bent
In a heart shaped vise
Someone has stolen their sun
For the love of the moon
For the love of the night
Who is to say they will not grow?
For now, they form a beautiful
Whole
whole
When sleep doesn’t come
I hear your name
I have pushed you back to the recess
You don’t arrive on time
You never did
Only when I am bleeding want
From my eyes
From my soul
Only then you arrive
a text or two later
I thought I lost my purpose
I thought I lost my way
I gave a dollar change
For a penny play
Breaking up windows
Slamming doors
I forgot my purpose
Wasn’t their way
I gave rage and heartache
A brand-new face
When I lost every bit
Of assumed grace
On that dark day
When the clouds came home
They expected a widow forlorn
When they assumed my fire would die
I slammed the door but did not cry
For this fire within won’t let me lie
Won’t let me sit
Won’t let me stay
It won’t let me be less than I was
Before that day
The day you left
Dropping breath away
In that moment
I found my way
There is no map for the unseen
Just our fire within
And our will to breathe
I still have mine
It is not gone
It never left
Well at least for long
This heart still beats
And it still loves
With all the passion
Right where it belongs
Strong
On fire
And very much alive
hearts of fire
Gangrene
Of the heart
Where honey once flowed
Is a sickness we all know
Where it no longer pumps the way, it did
When I love you
Was fluid and filled to the brim
Overflowing chaos
Sticky and sweet
Where the sky was only ours to meet
A love where two is the only view
That love
The one you know is true
When that love is gone
We shrivel
In sickness. In darkness
As if we have lost a limb
As if we didn’t know
Love is a war
And there are always casualties
gangrene of the heart
I have slept with the moon all my life
What makes you think you can take its place
Yes, I adore you
This is true
But will you be like the moon
Will you stay?
night after night
I couldn’t stop you
Just as I couldn’t stop the sun
Nor the moon
But I always wished
You would have stopped me
from running
I remember when I feared the night
Feared the sea
The open
Abyss
Where thoughts get lost
And then some found
Looking further than a shore
Further than a ni
ghtlight
That I had in my youth
The one that kept the monsters away
Looking into something I have never had to focus on
It crippled me
Shot arrows through my faith
As I bled out on every shore
The moon shone a light
More beautiful than any sunrise
More beautiful than the known
I suppose that is when I found
The night was my home
home
I held it
In my pocket
Like a wish
I tried not to crush it
And keep it safe
I really did
I placed it gently
As if it were my only gift
I tried not to disturb it
No compromise
No jostling
Just letting it be
But when the rains came
And night had its way
My hands were not enough
To keep it from stray
For I have never held gold
Nor diamonds of treasure
Only things that dulled in time
I could not stop the storm
The wind
Nor the rain
And my pockets seemed flooded
Yet again
I still lay in puddles of regret
Where my hands should have been
What treasures I could have held
If only these hands were capable
capable
When my world falls apart
I bare my shoulders
And walk straight into darkness
For my soul knows its place
And in the sun, I only burn
Chaos is for the plenty
And I am well preserved
immortal
Happiness was stolen
Like a babe in the night
Leaving a hollow
And I still look to the moon
For why
questions
Lay me down in fields of plenty
Watch me writhe
For I have no expectations when it comes to thighs
And what’s laid between them
And what produces lies
For I have seen the magic
On a stage show
Not meant for me
Might as well put mirrors in all the rooms
So, they can see the girth
Of rise
Laid heavy to bed
While my heart cringes in corners of
A fairytale life
Where intimate means
Love
And naked means birth