by Sadie Jacks
“This is the third cycle. I just checked her on my way to the office. I couldn’t get any breath to puff against my palm. I rolled her up on her side, listened for her heartbeat. It was slow. Too fucking slow.”
He cursed and dropped her wrist. “I’ve got no heartbeat.” He moved to her head, fitted a bag with an attached mask over her nose and mouth. “Clear.”
I lifted my hands away as I tried to get my own heart to go back to some kind of normal rhythm.
He pressed two full squeezes into her airways. “Go.”
I leaned up on my knees, started compressions again. “Staying alive. Staying alive,” I muttered to myself.
Rafael chuckled as he got his defibrillator charged and ready. “One way to stay on tempo.”
“Ready whenever you are,” I said.
He cut her shirt away.
I had to bite my lip at all of her exposed skin. She was fucking gorgeous. The perfect amount of tits that slimmed into the sexiest waist I’d ever seen. Her baggy sweatpants hid her hips and thighs, but I’d held her in my arms. I could imagine exactly what she looked like. Perfection.
“Eyes on the prize or I’ll gut you like a fucking fish,” Rafael said, not looking away from his AED.
“Shock advised. Charging,” the machine said.
“Shit. Clear,” he called.
I got my hands off her body right as he hit the button. I wanted to rage at him, but if she were mine, I wouldn’t fucking care if someone else was touching her while I tried to save her life.
Her body clenched and danced for a moment as the little machine did its thing. Once her body was still again, Rafael leaned down and listened for breath sounds.
He placed the bag back over her mouth. “Get fucking ready.” His voice was hard. I admired his control.
I shook my arms out as he forced air into her lungs. As soon as he had the bag lifted away, I started on compressions again.
“Stand clear. Analyzing. Shock advised. Charging,” it announced.
I cleared my hands as Rafael hit the button. I clenched my hands into fists and fought not to beat at the floor as we waited in silence for the machine’s next prompt.
“Continue CPR,” the AED instructed.
I placed my hands between her breasts and began compressions again. Sent up another prayer. I hadn’t prayed more or harder in any part of my life previously.
She coughed, her chest contracting under my hands. The sound was like angels singing. She groaned and tried to cough again.
Rafael rolled her to her side. “Get me a shirt.” He didn’t look at me, didn’t even bother turning his head.
I pushed to my feet and jogged to my bedroom. Grabbing the first clean shirt I could put my hands on, I was back in the guestroom as fast as possible.
“Rafe?” Her voice was weak and trembled. “Where am I?”
I handed Rafe the shirt. “You’re at my house.”
“Out,” he called. The man ignored me as he tended to his charge.
I bit back the urge to smash his face in and pull her into my arms. What the fuck? She’s not mine. And I don’t need another clingy woman in my life. I pushed the thoughts aside. “You good, sweets?”
“Thor, is that you?”
A fierce smile pulled at my mouth. “Yeah.”
Rafael snorted.
I ignored him. “You good?” I asked her.
“Yes. Thank you.”
I backed out of the room, went back to the kitchen. Got another beer. Downed it. Glared out the windows to the writhing city of New Trenadie in the distance. I needed to call Synra if I was feeling this hard up for a woman. I didn’t do hearts and romance. Whips, floggers, clamps. Pain. Those were my calling cards. They were the only love notes I left, and they were in the skin of my partners.
Time for Ms. Willow Chase to exit my life as quickly as she’d come into it.
Chapter 5 – Willow
Rafe’s warm hands supported me as I tried to get my fuzzy brain to clear. He helped me get the t-shirt on and my arms through the sleeves. “Where am I again?”
He pulled the material down my torso. “Ryker Penn’s penthouse apartment downtown. He rescued you from the hospital.”
I shook my head. “What happened? Last thing I knew I was trying to escape from the hospital room. Where was Dom?” I heard the betrayal in my voice. Hoped the youngest Amatucci brother hadn’t.
“He got a call. Someone said Mama had fallen, that she’d been taken to the emergency department.” Rafe’s voice was a hard, sharp blade.
Once he got me situated to his liking, he turned me and propped me up against the raised bed. He looked at my eyes, pulling the lower lids down softly. “Follow my finger with just your eyes.”
I obediently moved my eyes from left to right.
He let out a huge breath. “Thank fuck. Your eyes are tracking and your pupils are the same size.” He reached forward, poked gently at the back of my head. “Any pain or pressure?”
I analyzed the touch. “Do it again.”
He probed his fingers against my scalp.
“No. Nothing. Just you on my scalp. My scalp isn’t even tender.”
He sank back on his heels. “Good, Will. That’s really good.” He took an odd looking device that most closely resembled a plastic gun from his bag. Aimed it at my forehead. When it beeped, he took it down, read it. “No fever.”
He laid his fingers along the outside of my wrist just under my thumb. “Pulse is good.”
My belly growled.
One of his brows raised. “Did you pass out because you’re hungry, Willow Koa?” He glared at me.
I shrugged. “Not my fault no one gave me anything to eat.”
He ran a hand through his long hair, gave it a pull as he beseeched the ceiling. “Help me, father, before I sin.”
I snorted. His lapsed Catholicism made the oddest appearances. Usually in frustration with me or Tali.
He pushed to his feet, repacked his bag. “Want to try standing?”
I nodded. My legs were still killing me and sitting propped up like this was making the deep ache worse. I raised my hands.
He lifted me to my feet and held me while I fought the spinning room. After a couple deep breaths, I nodded. The room was stable and my vision was back to normal. I didn’t even feel hot.
I shook out my legs, tried to get the pins and needles feeling to dissipate. Once I could put my feet on the floor without that sharp prickly feeling, I took a couple test steps. Nodded. Everything was in working order.
My stomach growled again.
Rafe laughed as he hefted his bag to his shoulder. “Let’s see if Penn’s got some food. Then I’m taking you home.” He reached out a hand.
I took it and followed him from the room.
Moments later, we were in one of the most starkly beautiful interior spaces I’d ever been. And considering I baked for a very exclusive clientele, that was saying something. My breath backed up in my throat as I took in the midnight views of my favorite city, New Trenadie.
A mix of old and modern buildings dominated the skyline. Streaks of brake lights and headlights littered the ground even at this time of night. New Trenadie was a city that never slept. And I loved everything about her.
“Got any snacks, Penn?” Rafe asked from behind me.
I turned to see my host.
“I’m sure you can manage on your own, Amatucci. There are tons of places still open at this time of night,” Ryker said, glaring at me.
I wondered what had crawled up his butt. Then again, it didn’t really matter if he’d truly saved me from the hospital and again just moments ago. He deserved my gratitude.
I walked over to him. Held out my hand. “I need to thank you. I hear you were the one to save me.”
He looked at a loss for words for a moment. Hesitantly, as if he was afraid I’d bite it, he slid his palm over mine. “Don’t mention it.” His brow furrowed as he looked from me to Rafe. “Is amnesia normal?”
To
the left, Rafe shrugged. “By your own admission, you just want her gone. We’ll be going now. Thanks for the assist.” He dipped his head and pulled my hand from Ryker’s. “Come on, Will. It seems your knight in shining armor has dismounted. We’re gone.”
“Uh. Okaaay.” I waited for Ryker to look at me. “Thanks again.”
He nodded, a scowl on his face. “Stay out of hospitals if you can manage it.”
I growled at him. “It wasn’t my choice to go, but I’ll keep that in mind.” Asshole. Who willingly went to hospitals?
He lifted a mostly empty beer bottle in my direction.
I turned and followed Rafe to the elevator. “What’s his deal?” I asked as the doors slid shut behind us.
Rafe shrugged. “No idea. He was all kinds of determined to keep you with him until you could tell him yourself that you wanted to leave. But he was quick to call Nico when you stopped breathing.”
My eyes widened as the elevator car zipped to the basement at what felt like Mach one. Something about Ryker was niggling at the back of my brain, but I couldn’t figure it out. I shrugged. Oh well. The man seemed like an asshole who was too used to getting his way. Since I had the Amatucci brothers to deal with for the same things, I just let it drop. I had enough on my plate as it was.
Two Amatucci soldiers were standing at the elevator doors in the garage. They turned, hands on their hips under their jackets. When they saw who it was, they stood upright, their hands back at their sides.
“Home. Now,” Rafe commanded. He helped load me into the SUV that was illegally parked in the loading zone.
I settled back against the heated seats and rested my eyes. “So what happened with Ryker?”
He gave me a brief rundown. “Then as soon as I asked him for some food for you, he invited us to leave.” He shot me a wry smile.
I laughed around my shock. “You mean he kicked me out.” I crossed my arms. I don’t know why I was expecting human decency from a powerful man like Ryker Penn. But I was a little insulted by his rudeness.
Rafe patted my leg softly. “We’ll get you some food, Will. I won’t even make you beg for it.” He shot me a wink in the low light.
I intertwined my fingers with his. “My hero.”
Rafe snorted. “You called Penn ‘Thor.’”
I jerked back. “No, I did not.” No way. I wasn’t a dumb little girl who believed in fairytales or superheroes. I knew exactly what this world held and it wasn’t anything that brilliant and happy.
Rafe chuckled. “Yeah. You did. Your voice was all weak and scared. Very melodramatic. Probably gave Penn a stiffy just thinking about being your superhero.”
I slapped his shoulder. “Gross.” I shuddered. Sex was so far down my priority list as to be nonexistent. Even with a sexy specimen like Ryker Penn…I just wasn’t interested. He probably thought flowers and chocolates were the way into a woman’s heart.
That wasn’t me. Hell, that hadn’t been me even before I’d married the spawn of the devil. After living with said devil for five years…I brushed the thoughts away. What I liked wasn’t really accepted. Better to have a trusty vibrator than deal with the real-life version.
At least my vibrator didn’t make me feel like a freak.
The car came to a gentle stop at the corner the Amatuccis ruled from. They’d bought up the entire block over the years. One of the abandoned warehouses was retrofitted into a set of exclusive apartments. I was lucky enough to live in one of them.
Rafe came around and opened the door for me. Handed me out. “Let’s get you home. I’ll have Nico or Turo scrounge up some dinner. I think Mama still has some lasagna if you want.”
I moaned. “That’s a stupid statement. I’ll always want Mama’s lasagna.”
He smirked as he unlocked the door for me and allowed me to pass in front of him. He caught up with me at the stairs and helped me climb them. Tali and I shared the second floor although we had two separate spaces.
We were also sandwiched between the brothers’ floors. “You can live anywhere you want. But your brothers will be living there, too. It’s not up for discussion. You will be safe. Especially in my neighborhood.” Arturo Amatucci wasn’t a man you wanted to fight with.
Unless you were his wife or his daughter. His biological one. I got to tease Arturo Amatucci, but I never argued with him. Not in public.
While I knew how they made their money and status, I preferred their dealings to the ones my biological parents traded in. The Amatuccis were upfront and quite honest in their dishonesty. I never knew where I stood with my own parents. I couldn’t imagine how their business partners felt.
Rafe knocked on Tali’s door as I accessed my own. “She’s back.”
Tali’s door whipped open, showcasing my sister in all but blood. Her cotton robe hung loosely from her frame. She must have gone home alone tonight. Otherwise the slut gear would be in evidence. Her cotton shorts and tank top looked like heaven.
I was already jealous. “Well come on in. Just bring the lasagna.” I hurried through my front door and through the open space of my loft. Everything was out in plain view except the bedroom and bathroom. Those were sectioned off behind frosted glass walls. I had curtains on the inside I could pull for more privacy if I wanted them, but I usually just left them open. I needed the sun, the openness.
I passed through the sliding glass door of my bedroom and headed straight for the closet near the back left corner. Stripped my borrowed clothes off as I went. The shirt I was wearing wasn’t nearly as large as the pants. And it certainly smelled better as well.
Bubble gum and mint.
I bunched the cloth up to my face, took a deep inhale. Dreams floated through my mind. “I’m a chew ‘em up and spit ‘em out kind of guy.” I didn’t quite recognize the voice, but it brought a burgeoning heat to my core.
“Chase, you good?” Tali asked from my bedroom door.
I dropped the shirt, pushed the dreams away. I don’t recall ever having that kind of discussion. Let alone with a man who smelled like a minty gumball. “Yeah. Just getting changed.” I untied the knot in the sweatpants and let them drop to the floor.
I turned, hit the light. A tall mirror stood opposite me, leaning against the wall. I sucked in a breath at the sight of the bruises that bisected my thighs. At least a foot wide, they covered both of my thighs from edge to edge.
The middle of the bruises was a nasty blackish purple color that would have made a great evening dress shade. But punched into my skin, it kind of made me want to curl up in a ball and scream.
The colors eased into a lavender color near the outer edges. I ran my fingers over the discolored skin. Heat pumped from it. Without thinking about it, I pressed my fingertips into the abused tissue.
Pain, sharp and heady, bloomed. My eyes fluttered shut as my body swayed. I raised my hand from my leg. Tali was going to burst in here in moments. I couldn’t be seen causing myself pain.
They didn’t understand. To them, all pain was bad. All bad, all the time. Not so for me.
I also knew it made them uncomfortable that I had a more complicated relationship with it. So, for their sakes, I kept a lid on it. Or tried to.
I turned and grabbed a pair of yoga shorts and a sports bra. Slipped them on over my nakedness. The shorts were the most comfortable things I owned and wouldn’t put any undue stress or restriction on my healing legs.
I made my way back out to the living space. Rafe and Tali were watching my door as I came out. Rafe looked me up and down. Winced when he saw my legs.
Tali burst into tears.
I hurried, as much as possible, and pulled her into my arms. I petted a hand down her hair as she wept against my chest. “This isn’t your fault, Tali. It’s just a stupid accident. I’m sorry.”
I’d known she was going to blame herself. She usually did. But this had been my own fault. Plain and simple. I was as protective of Tali as her brothers, even if I didn’t express it the same way. I had yet to add to a body count. Unl
ess one counted the damaged sperm on countless men. Those possible murders numbered in the millions, I’d be willing to bet.
After a moment, she quieted. Pulled back in my arms, searched my gaze. “Rafe said you don’t remember everything after you escaped the room.”
I shook my head and wiped at her cheeks. “No. The last thing I remember was sneaking into the neighboring room and stealing clothes. That’s it.” When she looked steadier, I took a stool next to her.
The slight burning stretch in my legs felt good. “Can I have some lasagna now?”
Rafe had a plate of steaming Italian goodness ready for me. Fork at the ready. “Slow. And take sips of water. Trauma and empty stomachs don’t really go well together.”
I nodded as I blew over the mountain of pasta noodle, cheese, red sauce, and meat. “Promise.”
“Nico was about to call in the troops to find you,” Tali said, her voice quiet.
I winced as the bite I’d slid in burnt the roof of my mouth. “What happened? Rafe said he got a fake call?”
I chewed quickly, took a sip of water to cool the burning.
“When you went to the bathroom, Nico got a call. It was a hospital number, ER department. They said they were calling about Mama. He was needed downstairs because she was unresponsive and he’s listed as her medical power of attorney.”
My eyes widened. “Is she okay though? It was a fake call, right? Mama’s fine?” My belly clenched for entirely different reasons.
Both Rafe and Tali nodded. “Yeah, she and Papa are across the street, sleeping,” Tali added.
My heart eased out of my throat. “Good.” I took another sip of water. “That’s good.”
“By the time Nico got back up to your room, they had the floor locked down. He wasn’t allowed in or out because of a missing patient.” Tali’s eyes narrowed. “How did you manage to get out?”
“When I got your knock signal on the door, I eased out behind you. I’d heard his voice through the door. Heard the security guys haul you off. I guess he was still in the room looking for me.” I shrugged. The goddess must have been watching out for me like crazy.
“Once the floor had been reopened, Nico got a call saying that some guy—Ryker Penn—had you in a stairwell,” Rafe said, picking up the story as Tali stole a bite of my lasagna. “Penn hung up on him.”