Our Teacher is a Vampire and Other (Not) True Stories

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Our Teacher is a Vampire and Other (Not) True Stories Page 3

by Mary Amato


  Later,

  P.S. I hope you have a really cute baby, cuz because then you can take it to Hollywood and get it on TV. That’s my free advice for you.

  Greetings,

  I am sorry I read your journal and will not do it again. I am also sorry that you are not a vampire, because that was thrilling while it lasted. I do want to write a big scary story with everyone, so thanks for letting us.

  You will make a fantastic mother. Tip: Let your kid have some pets. Snakes and tarantulas make perfect ones.

  Farewell,

  P.S. If your baby turns out to be something exciting like a baby werewolf or an alien, tell us so we can write a story about it.

  Hurray! You’re having a baby! Hurray! I hope it’s a girl! We are so happy!

  Cheers,

  Teachers love to teach.

  Vampires love to slurp.

  I hope you have a baby

  who really loves to burp.

  —

  Dear Mrs. Penrose,

  Eat whatever you want. My mom says you have to eat like a pig when you’re pregnant. I just realized my mom says a lot of similes, and I bet she doesn’t even know it. Oh, and she also says extra pounds keep you warmer in the winter, and that’s why God invented chocolate cake.

  —

  Dear Mrs. Penrose,

  You are a teacher with a lot of wonderful ideas. I am so happy that you are my teacher. Your baby will be happy you are her mom when she is born. I can’t wait. I asked my mom to have me a baby sister or brother and she said no, which made me sad because I love babies. Now I am so happy because you’re going to have one. Can you bring the baby in right away and can we all take a turn to hold her? Or him?

  Yours truly,

  Dear Mrs. Penrose,

  Please make that baby come when it is spring break. After spring break, please bring that baby here and keep teaching. Then there won’t be one day where you are not here when we are here. I dont don’t like it when you are not here.

  —

  Dear Mrs. Penrose,

  “A baby is like a sunrise. Seeing one is just a good way to start every day.” That’s a quote by Mali Koam from her book “Fur,” but you probably know that.

  Congratulations (and thanks for letting me borrow that book),

  P.S. This is my first time writing in this book. I really like it.

  Mrs. P.,

  I’ll teach the lil guy how to be the world’s best striker. A striker is the one who gets the goals in soccer, in case you didn’t know. Go big or go home!

  —

  Dear Boys and Girls,

  Sorry that I am an ordinary human.

  It was interesting to read all of your good wishes. I am just hoping for a healthy, happy baby. Even though the vampire story didn’t turn out to be true, I’m sure you’ll find another story idea to write about in this book. By the way, let’s keep it on the shelf in the Good Book Nook. That way, you won’t be tempted to pass it during class. Remember, as long as everyone is invited to write, and as long as the book doesn’t cause any problems, you may keep this cool, collaborative project going.

  Your teacher,

  P.S. A “dust jacket” is a paper cover that folds over the front and back covers of a book to protect it. If you want to make a dust jacket for your book, Ms. Yang can show you how.

  MONDAY, OCTOBER 28

  Hey,

  Good morning. I have HUGE news. I told my mom we were all writing a book, and she showed me a contest. Its It’s for any kids between 2nd grade and 5th grade to send in a story. The prize is $100!!!!!!!!!! I’m not so good at writing, but if we did this together we could win. Lets Let’s keep the contest a secret so nobody else enters. When we win it will be a big suprize surprise. During recess, lets let’s get started. That’s a wrap!

  —

  Hurray! Really fun idea, Carly!!!

  If we win, Mrs. Penrose will be proud of us. I can’t wait for recess!

  —

  Hi,

  I love this, but I do not have any ideas for stories. It is a big problem for me.

  Sadly,

  Yo Tee,

  Here is a joke to cheer you up.

  What did the pen say to the pencil?

  Nothing. They can’t talk. Ha-ha.

  Adios,

  Fellow Classmates,

  Our big story should be scary. Halloween is coming. Maybe we should meet in a cemetery at midnight tonight and find a ghost to write a story about.

  Farewell,

  P.S. Remember, I’m the one who thought of this book idea in the first place.

  Dear Everybody,

  The cemetery is scary at midnight. My abuelita says they are haunted. There are other ways to get good ideas that arent aren’t scary.

  —

  P.S. We should not get up our hopes about the contest. We might not win.

  To the Whole Class:

  1.The best way to get ideas is to brainstorm.

  2.I will make a graphic organizer at recess.

  Sincerely,

  P.S. Besides spelling problems. I’ve noticed contraction problems, especially with Isabella. “. . . ideas that arent scary” should be “. . . ideas that aren’t scary” because the sentence is really “. . . ideas that are not scary.” The apostrophe is like a little cutter that cuts out the letter “o” in “not” and makes two words into one.

  We all make mistakes. I remember when Isabella came here in Kindergarten she was just speaking Spanish. She’s learning fast! My grandmother can’t spell or talk English very well even though she has been here a long time, because she grew up in Vietnam.

  —

  No organizer! Let’s just write an amazing story. It will be faster if we just do it. Morning free time is over so see y’all at recess. That’s “you” and “all” smooshed together to make “y’all.”

  —

  I don’t think “y’all” is a real word, but you’ve got the idea.

  —

  Poem for Omar

  “Y’all” is real.

  So are “ain’t” and “sup.”

  These words are called slang.

  Dude, lighten up.

  Ha ha ha.

  —

  Notes about Recess

  by Kristin

  Well, recess was as much fun as watching water go down a drain.

  Argue. That’s all we did. How can we ever write anything if we can’t get a good idea that everyone likes?

  It’s sad, but I think this whole plan to write a story together is officially dead.

  Kristin,

  You can’t just write the word “argue” and put a period after it. That’s called a sentence fragment.

  —

  Give it a rest, Omar! I’m not writing to the President of the United States. Every sentence doesn’t have to be complete.

  —

  Hey,

  I have a big idea to get us going again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You’ll find out what it is tomorrow, y’all.

  —

  TUESDAY, OCTOBER 29

  Carly’s Surprise

  by Alexander H. Gory, Jr.

  Ah, the tingle of suspense. Thanks to Carly, all night long it felt like spiders were crawling under my skin. What was her big idea? When would she reveal it?

  She arrived at school with a bag in her hand, and she held it up but she wouldn’t let us see what was inside.

  “Give us a hint,” Jazmine begged.

  “It will help us with our story contest,” Carly said.

  I looked at the size and shape of the bag.

  “Is it a mysterious skull of someone who has been murdered?” I guessed.

  “No,” she said.

  “Is it photographic proof of a famous mystery like the Loch Ness Monster?” I guessed.

  “Nope,” she said.

  “Is it a machine to detect ghosts?”

  “No,” she said, and put it in her cubby. “And that’s all I’m saying until recess.”

  We have to wait. Agony
!

  Carly’s Surprise, Continued

  by Kristin

  During the morning, Alexander was jiggling like a maniac. Mrs. Penrose noticed right in the middle of a lovely little lesson on alliteration. She walked over and whispered to Alexander. “Hey, buddy boy. You’ve been distracted this entire period. Is your brain muddled? Do we need to have a Muddle Huddle?”

  “Yes,” said Omar, even though she wasn’t asking him.

  “Yes,” added Buzz, because he loves Muddle Huddles.

  “Time for a Muddle Huddle!” Mrs. Penrose announced.

  Harrison looked confused, because he’s new this year and didn’t have Mrs. Penrose like we did last year. He hasn’t done a Muddle Huddle or a Touchdown Twist yet. They’re silly things Mrs. Penrose made up, but they work.

  We all got into a huddle. Mrs. Penrose whispered to us like a coach. “All right, team. I can tell we’re distracted. We need to find our focus. Who can say what we’re studying right now?”

  Jazmine raised her hand the fastest. “We’re studying alliteration.”

  “Right. Why?”

  I shot my hand up. “Slipping words with similar starting sounds into the same sentence can sparkle up our style.”

  Mrs. Penrose laughed. “Yes! That’s an awesome alliterative answer, Kristin. Let’s go over it.”

  We practiced my answer a few times and then we were ready. We all put our hands on top of one another’s in the middle like a stack of pancakes. We did this next part with “energy,” which means not too loud, not too soft, just right.

  Mrs. Penrose called out, “What are we learning about?”

  “Alliteration!” we exclaimed.

  “Why?”

  “Slipping words with similar starting sounds into the same sentence can sparkle up our style,” we said.

  She laughed again. “When are we doing this?”

  “Now!”

  Then we made our hands fly up at the same time. Harrison looked freaked out, but you could tell he liked it.

  We went back to our seats and had fun writing sentences with alliteration. Like I said, Muddle Huddles are silly, but they work.

  Finally recess arrived. We ran down to the merry-go-round. Even Buzz came. Tee remembered what Mrs. Penrose said about making sure everyone was included, and she told Alexander to go back up to the blacktop where Harrison was reading and say “Please come,” and he did.

  Once we were all there, Carly opened the bag and pulled out a box. “Ta-da!”

  “It’s just a shoe box,” Buzz said.

  “It is not,” Carly said. She showed it off. It had fake money glued all over it and a slot cut in the lid. It said Carly’s Secret Story Contest on the side in big letters. “I’m announcing my own contest. Everybody has to write a great story and then fold it up and put it in this box. I’ll read all the stories and pick the best one. It’s like a little contest to decide which story should go on to the big contest.”

  “It’s sort of like the qualifying matches in soccer,” Buzz said. “The winner goes on to the World Cup.”

  “Yep,” Carly said. “It’ll be fun, fun, fun.”

  “Are you going to read the stories out loud?” Tee asked.

  Carly nodded. “At recess tomorrow. I’ll pick a winner and help the writer make the story more exciting. Then I’ll enter it in the big contest and split the prize money.”

  Tee’s face got sad. “I don’t have any ideas for stories. That’s my problem.”

  Carly pulled out a dollar from her pocket and waved it in the air. “This will give you ideas. It’s called motivation.”

  “Is that the prize?” Omar asked.

  “Yep,” Carly said.

  “One dollar? Forget it,” Buzz said. He dropped his soccer ball on the ground and dribbled it over to the soccer field.

  Carly made a face. “We don’t need him anyway. I’m going to put this box in my cubby. Tomorrow morning, everybody put your story in it. Tomorrow at recess, we’ll meet here and I’ll read all the entries. That’s a wrap.”

  “Who made you the boss? What if I want to write one and send it to the contest myself?” Nick asked.

  “That wouldn’t be fair,” Carly said. “I’m the one who told you about it.”

  “Are you going to enter your own story?” Omar asked her.

  “I’m the judge,” Carly said. “Now I’ll give you all time to think about your stories.”

  She walked to the blacktop with her box.

  Nick jumped up and said, “Boys and ghouls, that’s a wrap!” and then he started chasing after Isabella. She screamed like the most mad, mortified, maniacal monkey in the history of Minnesota.

  WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 30

  Greetings,

  Another night of sleepless suspense! Who wrote stories for Carly’s contest? Which story will win? Will the story be scary enough to satisfy me? Unfortunately Cruel Carly duct-taped the lid on her box so we can’t sneak a peek before recess.

  Mrs. Penrose just announced that we are starting our lesson on exaggeration and hyperbole, whatever that means. The morning is going to take forever. I have to put this book away even though it is killing me.

  —

  The Secret Story Session

  by Kristin

  “Drumroll, please,” Carly said at recess. We were all on the merry-go-round.

  Nick created a loud earthquake with his feet by hopping back and forth on the metal platform really hard.

  “Knock it off, Nick,” I said. “That’s making me sick.”

  “Your face makes me sick, Krusty,” Nick said, and started to laugh his head off.

  I didn’t get upset, because he isn’t being mean. He’s just being Nick. Besides, I learned how to handle him in kindergarten. “Thank you, Nickerless,” I said. “I’m so happy I can make you sick without even trying.”

  “Quiet on the set,” Carly said. “I’m going to open the box.”

  We were all curious. Even Buzz and Harrison came without being asked. I thought maybe there wouldn’t be any stories at all. I didn’t write a story, because I couldn’t decide on an idea.

  She opened the lid. It was full of folded-up papers.

  “Wow,” Carly exclaimed. “This is fantastic!”

  “Read that one first,” Jazmine said, and pointed to one that had hearts on the outside.

  Carly opened it up. “ ‘The Story Writers’ by Jazmine.”

  “Carly, since you get to be the judge,” Omar said, “can one of us read the stories?”

  “Okay,” Carly said, and handed him the paper. “That way I can listen better.”

  Omar read: “Once upon a time there was a classroom full of nice students at Delite Elementary School. One beautiful day, their wonderful teacher (who is going to have a baby) gave them free time to write a story. A girl named Jazmine got to go first. Happily, Jazmine took out her pen and began to write. Suddenly the students heard a cheerful tune coming through the window. Was it a fairy singing? It was! The fairy turned Jazmine’s pen into a glitter pen and gave everybody glitter pens. Everybody was happy. The End.”

  Alexander couldn’t help himself. “What about a werewolf instead of a fairy? What about some blood and guts and scary stuff?”

  Jazmine rolled her eyes.

  “It was full of imagination and surprises, Jazmine,” Tee said quickly.

  “It is brave to write,” Isabella added. “I am chicken.”

  “I’ll consider it,” Carly said. “Let’s read the next one.” The second paper she pulled out was blank. She made a face and pulled out another. It was blank, too.

  “This isn’t funny,” she said, and Nick started laughing.

  “A complete waste of paper,” I said.

  Carly opened five more and they were all blank. Nick was laughing so hard that Marcos and DeeNice and Lauren from Mr. Suarez’s class came, and we had to tell them it was a private meeting. Then finally she opened one with some writing. She handed it to Omar.

  “The Secret Box,” Omar read.<
br />
  “Oooh. I love that title,” Carly said.

  Omar read on. “Once upon a time, a girl named Narly made a box and told everyone to put a story in it. After a day, she reached into the box and pulled out . . . a snake. She screamed and threw it. The snake flew up in the air, did a somersault and landed on Narly’s head. The End. Written by Krusty.”

  “Ha-ha,” I said. “Very funny, Nick.”

  Nick, Alexander and Buzz howled like hyenas.

  “The snake part was great,” Alexander said. “I could draw that.”

  Carly grabbed the paper and stuffed it into her back pocket. “Moving right along.” With a red face, she opened seven more blank papers. Then she opened a blank graphic organizer.

  “That’s by me,” Omar said. “I think we should use it to brainstorm ideas.”

  Carly crumpled it, which I think hurt Omar’s feelings. She opened up the last paper. It was printed out from a computer. “Finally. This looks profesional,” professional she said.

  “Who wrote it?” Tee asked.

  Omar didn’t want to read it, because he was mad at Carly for not liking his graphic organizer, so he handed me the page.

  No author’s name was on the paper. As I read it, Carly hopped up and danced around because it was so good. After two paragraphs, I stopped.

  “Why are you stopping?” Carly yelled. “Why isn’t anybody else jumping up and down? This story is amazing.”

 

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