by S. M. Soto
Rough hands grapple at my arms and wrap around me tightly. They shake me violently, jolting me upright. I suck in a sharp breath of air and cry out when the dark sensation of the cloth fades, and slowly my room comes into focus. A sob rips past my lips as I place the heel of my palm over my sternum, trying to ease the phantom pain in my chest.
“Breathe.” I jerk at the sound of Creed’s voice and search my dark room for him. It’s then I realize, it’s his rough hands wrapped around my arms. He must’ve woken me from my nightmare.
His large body is resting over my bed, and the warmth of his hands on me tamps down the fear roaring through my veins. I try to suck in much needed air, but my lungs won’t expand. My hands fly to my throat and my eyes widen.
“I can’t…I can’t,” I sputter unable to finish my sentence. Creed slips into bed beside me and pulls me into his thick arms.
“Breathe, Sophia. Inhale. And exhale. Inhale and exhale,” he whispers the words in my ear, and slowly with each inhale and exhale, my lungs open and the panic dissipates. I clutch onto Creed and his warm hold around me like it’s a lifeline. His eyes meet mine and everything we’ve been avoiding crackles with uncontrolled potency. His breathing escalates as we remain locked in place, bound together by the swirling cloud of need and the terror of my nightmare. I don’t dare speak, too afraid of ruining this tangible force between us.
Our eyes refuse to unlock, never once straying. The longer we stare, the deeper our connection becomes. The unseen force is frighteningly strong, almost visible with ribbons of lust that sends a clench of desire straight to my dormant core. As if he can sense my thoughts, my need for him, Creed sucks in a sharp breath, looking elsewhere, breaking our heated gaze.
I rest my head on his firm chest, listening to the strong rhythmic beat of his heart as my body still trembles with the vicious tremors from my nightmare. I close my eyes, recalling the many near-death experiences I had to endure while held captive. Suddenly, my tears soak into his shirt, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he holds me tightly in his grasp like he understands just how badly I need this. Just how badly I’d do anything to forget the onslaught of painful memories.
I don’t know how much time passes, but when I feel Creed slip his arms from around me and slide out of bed, I jolt forward clutching onto his thick forearm in a panic.
“Please don’t go,” I beg, feeling my throat clog with tears. He freezes with his back to me, the muscles bunching with tension. My heart pounds as I wait for him to make a decision. I’m not ready to be alone yet.
His shoulders sag in defeat, and slowly, he turns to face me. Those eyes that are filled with liquid smoke search my face briefly before he climbs back into bed with me. Creed wraps me in his arms, and I snuggle into his warm body. I inhale his clean, woodsy scent, and fist my hands in his shirt, using his scent and his body to anchor me here, to the present. Slowly with his warm body pressed against mine, I manage to drift off to a dreamless sleep.
I wake to stifling warmth and the sound of thumping. Peeling my eyes open, they slowly adjust to the light in the room, immediately falling on the body beneath me. My heart skids to an abrupt halt as I take everything in. With my leg swung over Creed’s thick legs, my head rests on his chest, while his arms are wrapped tightly around me with not even a breath of space between us. His heart thumps proudly beneath my ear, its cadence strong and sure—so much like its owner.
He stayed. That’s the only thing I’m able to comprehend at the moment. He stayed with me the whole night, even though he didn’t have to.
I try to ignore the wild fluttering of butterflies in my stomach at his proximity, with his body flush against mine, but it’s no use. Lifting my gaze up toward his face, I startle when I find him staring straight down at me. In the morning light, his eyes take on a pale glow. They’re almost ethereal looking. I swallow past the lump in my throat and lick my dry lips, never once taking my gaze off his. He’s hypnotizing. I couldn’t look away, even if I tried.
His eyes narrow slightly, and his forehead wrinkles into a frown. Something passes briefly over his eyes, but it’s gone before I can pay closer attention. The muscle in Creed’s jaw jumps, alerting me to his frustration. At what? I’m not even sure.
“Twelve.”
My brows dip in confusion. Tilting my head to the side, I give him a questioning look.
“What?”
“This is your twelfth nightmare.”
I clench my eyes shut and inhale a deep breath. Pulling out of his arms, I prop myself on the bed next to him, so I can see him clearly.
“How did you know that?” I search his steel gray eyes for the answer I already know.
“You cry out and whimper while you’re having nightmares. Garrett wanted someone guarding your door at all hours of the night, and I was the only man he trusted. The first few nights, I stayed outside, but eventually, you started having nightmares and reacting to them.”
I gasp in surprise at his admission.
“Why do you really come in my room at night, Creed?”
“To tear you away from the memories.”
My heart clenches at his answer. This man is too much. There are so many things I don’t know about Creed, but from what I can tell, he still has a heart. No matter how hard he tries to hide it.
Summoning the courage I didn’t realize I had, I tentatively bring my hand up to his face, and place it on his cheek. My fingers glide against the scruff along his prominent jaw, prickling against the pads of my fingers. He stiffens but doesn’t pull away from my touch.
“Thank you,” I whisper, grazing over the dark stubble along his jaw. I can’t help the way my eyes travel along his face adoringly. Creed sucks in a sharp breath at my touch, prompting me to look back at him. His eyes set my body on fire with their intensity.
“They’ll all pay. One by one.”
His words send a chill down my spine, because I hear the sincerity in them. This isn’t just a threat, it’s a promise. I feel Creed’s anger radiating off him in waves. It flows through my body, spiking endorphins.
With my hand still resting softly on his cheek, my body leans into his on its own accord. We’re like magnets, so inherently drawn to one another, like a negative and a positive snapping together seamlessly.
“It’s okay. I’m okay, now,” I whisper soothingly, trying to ease his anger for me and the memories I can’t seem to purge from my mind. His eyes soften for a fraction of a second, before something slides over his gray eyes. It’s like a shield. I feel it when it goes up, closing me off to every vulnerable piece of him. Yanking his face away from my hand, Creed slides out of bed, and slips out of my room without so much as one word.
My heart clenches as I watch him go. I didn’t expect anything less from him. Staying the entire night with me is way past the point of Creed’s comfort zone—I know that. But feeling his thick arms wrapped around me, the security of his body against mine? I never wanted it to end. And that’s a problem for the both of us. I can’t get caught up in a dangerous man like Creed, but I fear that I already have. My foolish heart is invested in the man with the savage gray eyes.
With my back to Mera, I knead my hands in the soft dough. The scent of fresh yeast wafts around me as we prepare to the mold the dough into bread. I haven’t seen or heard from Creed since he slipped out of my room this morning. He’s avoiding me, again. That’s all I’m certain of at this point. I don’t know what to make of last night, or all the other nights he’s been in my room and woken me from my nightmares. It’s not something he had to do, or something that was expected of him. He wanted to do it. And that’s what I can’t wrap my head around.
Creed is always so cold and indifferent. He has an air of ruthlessness that surrounds him—its unforgiving, it’s dark, it’s desolate. I can’t explain why, but I’m attracted to him. That much I know. I know I shouldn’t be, but I am. He’s like a magnetic force I can’t steer clear from. I’m drawn to him. Creed makes me want to delve deep into his soul and
find everything that makes him tick. I’m just afraid to show him what’s left of mine.
“Can I ask you something?”
Mera stops stirring the sizzling pot of food over the stove and turns to me with a frown marring her sweet features.
“Of course, sweetie.”
Pulling my hands out of the dough, I turn toward her, wringing my flour encrusted hands together nervously.
“After everything I went through, do you think it’s wrong that I’m attracted to someone? It doesn’t feel wrong, but a little part of me wants to believe it is.”
“Everyone handles things differently, Sophia. Just like we all heal differently. This man, that you’re attracted to must make you feel safe. After the ordeal you survived, it makes sense. That might be one of the main things that gravitates you to him. Or, sometimes, our hearts have a one-track mind, and once they have their sights set on something. We’re goners.”
I mull over her words as I re-dig my hands into the dough. I chew on my bottom lip in contemplation.
So, there’s nothing wrong with me?
“I presume this man is Creed?”
My stomach bottoms out, and my mouth drops open. I turn to her with a look of shock plastered on my face, making her laugh. “I’m old, Sophia, not blind. These past few days together have changed things, haven’t they?” She asks, cocking her head to the side.
Heat rises to my cheeks and I nervously pick at the sticky dough. “Yeah…yeah they have.”
“Just be careful, Sophia. Creed is a ruthless man. I won’t tell you what to do, I have no right, but just know, that man is as dangerous as they come.”
Her warning causes a chill to travel down my spine. Just as I’m about to respond, I hear a voice I wasn’t expecting.
“Something smells mighty good in here.”
I whirl around at the sound of my brother’s voice, disbelief waging through my body. When my eyes settle on his familiar emeralds, the heavy weight of worry seemingly lifts off my chest. Even though he’s standing before me, my mind can’t seem to register that he’s finally made it home, safely, in one piece.
“What’re you ladies gossiping about in here?” Garrett says with a smile in his voice. My eyes widen, and immediately dart to Mera who grins at my brother sweetly.
“Oh, you know, this and that. We’ve been swappin’ dessert recipes. I had no idea your sister had so many gems hidden under her sleeve.”
Garrett laughs, oblivious to Mera’s well said lie. I cast her a questioning look out of the corner of my eye, half expecting her to whirl around and tell Garrett everything. But she doesn’t. She smiles at me, and nods her head ever so subtly, I almost think I imagined it.
After slipping the loaf of bread in the oven, Mera leaves the food on a simmering low heat before slipping out of the kitchen, giving Garrett and I a minute to ourselves to catch up.
“You’re home already?” I can’t keep the surprise out of my voice. I hate to admit it, but I’ve enjoyed spending time alone with Creed. I didn’t have to worry about overstepping any bounds for my brother’s sake. That doesn’t mean I’m not glad he’s home, because I am. Without Creed’s mercurial company, I would have been worried sick over my brother.
“I told you I would only be gone three days. I meant that, Soph.”
Swallowing the golf ball sized lump in my throat, I force a smile, and nod my head.
“How was everything? Do you feel better about things after finally being outside?”
A genuine smile spreads across my face as I proceed to tell Garrett how good it felt to be outside again. With the warm sun sizzling against my fair skin, and the smell of all the trees and flowers surrounding the property. I didn’t realize how much I missed being outdoors until it wasn’t an option anymore.
“Good,” he says, his expression turning serious. “Just remember to always to take me or Creed out there with you, until further notice. Got it?”
My mouth quirks, and I mock salute him.
“Got it, sir.”
I spend the rest of the afternoon with my brother. We sit outside in the garden and enjoy lunch, courtesy of Mera. We walk along the grounds enjoying the easy companionship you get when you’re around a sibling. After my skin starts to feel a tad bit too sun-kissed, we head inside. Garrett makes an excuse, saying he has to leave, but he’ll back before dinner. With a roll of my eyes, I give him a knowing look.
“Am I ever gonna meet her?”
His face slackens and visibly shutters. Righting himself, Garret swallows and rubs the back of his neck in that nervous way he always does.
“I don’t know, Soph. It’s complicated.” He lifts his shoulders noncommittally. I purse my lips in thought, before nodding my head in understanding.
“Do you love her?”
I search my brother’s face closely, looking for any reaction but I get nothing. Pinning me with his green eyed stare, a sad smile tilts the corners of his lips.
“Maybe, but in this line of work, it’s not safe to love anyone.”
With those sad words, my brother departs and all I’m left thinking about is him, and Creed. How can anyone willingly go their whole life without loving someone? Even though you might want to, or you do—but your job won’t allow it. I can’t help but feel like it’s an impossible task. We’re all human beings, without love, we’re just soulless machines. Just the idea of my brother never finding happiness or allowing himself to love is enough to tear my heart in half.
My mind immediately drifts to Creed, and thoughts of him and his capacity to love others. He’s so detached from everything around him, I wonder if the mysterious man has ever loved. He doesn’t strike me as a man that cares about anything but himself.
But maybe, something in his past made him this way? That little voice in the back of my head nags. I tamp that train of thought down, doing my best to steer clear of Creed. The man is wrong, he’s trouble, but for the life of me, I can’t stay away.
I wander aimlessly down the halls, until I find myself inside the doorway of the basement gym, watching Creed go at it with a punching bag. His fists fly with gusto, each impact is loud, echoing around the entirety of the gym. The bag swings violently with each power packed punch. The muscles in his arms and back strain and cord with each movement. The sight itself is riveting.
As if sensing my presence, Creed’s fists slow to an abrupt stop and he keeps his back turned to me.
“Is there a reason you’re here?” His voice is indifferent…not cold, but a tone of voice you’d use on something, or someone that isn’t worth your time. I shift restlessly on my feet wondering why the hell I even came in here in the first place. It’s like my body knows where he’s going to be even before I do. Sucking my bottom lip into my mouth, I bite down hard as I force my feet to move, bringing me further into the gym. Closer to Creed and his ever-demanding presence.
“Not really. I just thought we could talk, I guess.” There’s an unmistakable hint of hope in my voice that I despise.
“I suggest you leave.” His tone brooks no room for argument. It’s cold and final. My jaw steels in frustration.
“Is it really so hard for you to talk to me?” I splay my hands out at my sides in a questioning gesture even though he can’t see me. He doesn’t even have the decency to look at me. Ignoring my question completely, Creed goes back to training, like I’m not even here.
My hand balls into a fist, and my body trembles with fury as I stalk toward him and the punching bag.
“Why is so hard for you to speak to me, huh? You did just fine a few days ago!” I growl, stopping a few feet beside him. His face is red, contorted in anger. Sweat drips down, along his temples and the jugular vein in his neck strains against his skin, thumping proudly.
“Look at me you, asshole!”
Creed freezes and turns to me with a look that makes me take a fearful step back. My heart leaps into my throat at the volatile anger written all over his face. My mouth goes painfully dry with each threatening step
he takes toward me. Before I know it, my back slams into the wall and he has me cornered like a frightened animal.
“I’ve done horrible things—things that’ll make your skin crawl. I’m not a good person, I’m the damn Devil, so I suggest you leave. Now.” His breath ghosts across my face, and the heat of his body is sweltering, bathing me in the scorching inferno at his close proximity.
“That’s not you. I don’t know what you’ve been through, but I can tell you’re not the Devil, no matter how much you want to believe you are, Creed. The Devil wouldn’t worry about a girl he doesn’t even know having nightmares,” I counter angrily.
Closing my eyes, I inhale a deep breath and try to steady my nerves as I reach out to him. Peeling my eyes open, I place my hands on both of his thick, veiny forearms and lightly squeeze. Within seconds Creed’s hand is wrapped around my throat. His grip isn’t tight by any means, but he’s applying just the right amount of pressure to send my heart racing.
He stares down at me, fire in his eyes, no doubt waiting for me tap out. But I won’t. I’m not giving him the satisfaction. Even with his hand around my throat, Creed doesn’t scare me. I know deep down, he’d never hurt me. I just want him to realize it, too.
“You don’t scare me, Creed.” I reuse the same words as the last time we were in this predicament, awaiting his response.
“You’re playing with fire little girl,” he growls. With his hand still around my neck, I tentatively reach out my hand, and glide it through his soft tresses. His eyes shut tightly, and I take that as my cue to keep exploring. My fingers trail across his face, over his rugged features in feather soft strokes.
“Creed.” His name falls off my lips in a hoarse whisper.
My body aches to get closer to him. He has a bewitching power over me whenever he’s around. My body hums and my veins roar with fire whenever I’m in his presence—he’s magnetic. He makes me feel alive, dauntless and sometimes…even powerful. Something in the air changes, like static electricity sparking in the open space. His hand falls away from my throat, and the only sounds I’m able to register are my rapidly beating heart, and the blood roaring through my ears.