He felt a slight twinge of guilt. Was he being selfish? Was he thinking only of himself, and not Stacey? If she was here, if she had agreed to this, then it was obviously what she wanted, right?
Johnny stood quietly and headed for the door.
“Johnny?” Lina called to him, her voice worried. Kyle was suddenly behind her, placing both hands on her shoulders.
“Let him go, baby.”
Johnny closed the door softly behind him. He had a serious decision to make.
* * *
“Everything looks good, so the procedure’s a go. How are you holding up?” Dr. Hamilton checked Stacey’s vitals again, nodding her approval.
“As well as can be expected, I guess.”
“It’s perfectly normal to feel anxious, Stacey. I can prescribe a mild sedative to take the edge off.”
“That might not be such a bad idea.”
The doctor cast a sideways glance at her while she placed two fingers across her wrist, taking her pulse. “Having second thoughts?”
“No,” Stacey lied.
“You know there’s no such thing as a one hundred percent guarantee in this business, Stacey, but this is the most promising procedure I’ve seen for this type of injury.”
“I know. I’ve been waiting years for a chance like this.”
“Good. We’ve moved up the procedure to this afternoon, by the way.”
“So soon?” Stacey couldn’t help the slight panic in her voice. She’d assumed she’d have more time to get herself in the proper mental state. Yes, she’d committed to doing this, but inside she was scared. What if it didn’t work? What if she came out worse than when she went in?
And what if she didn’t make it? One of the benefits of being wealthy enough to have a staff of accountants, lawyers, and estate handlers meant that all of her affairs were in order. But it wasn’t the money that worried her the most. Had she told Lina how much she loved her, or how much her support had meant to her over the years? Did Johnny know that he had given her the best two days of her life?
“Is that a problem?” Dr. Hamilton’s voice broke into Stacey’s panicked internal musings.
Get a grip, Mallory. Stacey took a deep breath to steel herself. This wasn’t fear she was feeling. It was the adrenaline rush that came with doing something risky, something exciting. It had been so long, she’d almost forgotten what it felt like. Stacey tried to embrace that thought and hold on to it with both hands.
“No. I just thought I’d have more time to, you know, prepare myself.”
“Trust me, Stacey, you are ready for this. Besides, Dr. Oknoshi will be leaving us sooner than expected, and you really want him in on this one.” Elena Hamilton brushed the hair away from Stacey’s face in a rare show of compassion. “Are you sure you don’t want me to call anyone? It might be nice to have someone with you while you wait.”
Stacey’s courage faltered once again. As much as she might like that, she couldn’t think of a single person who wouldn’t question her decision. She’d done enough of that on her own. Ultimately, it was her decision; she would face it alone and let the chips fall where they may. She’d deal with everyone else afterward.
Assuming there was an afterward.
Her voice was strong and clear when she spoke. “No, thanks, I’m good.”
Dr. Hamilton patted her hand. “I’ll send the nurse in with the sedative. Try to relax, Stacey.”
That was easy for her to say. She wasn’t the one who’d agreed to be a human guinea pig. While she waited, she pulled out her laptop and made some notes about her surroundings for future reference – the sounds, the smells, the feel of the bleached sheets. Maybe one of her characters would end up in a hospital room someday.
An hour later, the calming agent was circulating through her system, and the tension and uncertainty faded, melting away a little more with each breath. Everything would be fine. It had to be.
Exhaustion and a lack of sleep finally caught up to her and she closed her eyes. This was the calm before the storm, and she needed her strength. Even if everything went as hoped, she would have a hard road ahead of her.
Stacey drifted off, dreaming of the expression on Johnny’s face when she walked up to his door and told him how she really felt about him...
Chapter Seventeen
Lina was tucked comfortably between Kyle’s legs, her back to his chest, as they munched on snacks and watched television, though she wasn’t really paying attention to the movie. She couldn’t stop thinking about Stacey. First thing in the morning they were heading back to McKinnon, with or without her brother. He was so damn pig-headed sometimes. What was there to think about? He and Stacey were meant for each other. That was the important thing.
Unable to wait, she’d driven down to the hospital with Kyle that morning while Johnny had been doing his soul-searching. No one would tell her anything, throwing out terms like ‘HIPAA compliance’ and ‘patient confidentiality’ or some crap like that. Wasn’t it more important that Stacey not face something like this alone? What the hell was wrong with these people?
Thank God for her husband. The nurses at McKinnon were no less susceptible to Kyle’s charm than any other female. With a flash of his sexy smile and icy blue eyes, he’d managed to discover that Stacey was undergoing a series of tests and was scheduled for surgery in two days.
They weren’t able to see her because of the limited visiting hours and tight scheduling, and were told to return in the morning.
The glowing red digits on the nightstand clock glared at her. Just a few more hours till morning, and Lina would be there waiting the minute visiting hours began. Stacey should have someone with her. No one should go through something like that alone. Lina could only imagine how terrifying waiting for something like that was.
Lina’s cell phone went off, breaking into the monotonous hum of the heating and air conditioning unit and the murmur of dialogue from the movie. Kyle picked it up from the nightstand and handed it to her. The caller id was withheld.
“Hello?” Lina answered briskly. If this was another telemarketer she was going to give him a choice piece of her mind.
“Celina McCullough?”
“Yes. Who is this?”
“My name is Elena Hamilton. I’m one of Stacey Mallory’s neurosurgeons.” She paused for a moment, allowing that to sink in.
“Oh, God.” Lina went stiff all over, suddenly feeling like she was going to throw up. Johnny looked up sharply from where he sat in the corner, unmoving, staring out the window. Lina vaguely felt Kyle’s arms circling around her.
“Ms. Mallory had surgery this afternoon. She left instructions to call this number if things did not go as well as hoped.”
“Oh, God,” Lina repeated, her stomach roiling. “Is she all right?” The pause on the other end of the line was far too long.
“Stacey is in a coma. She’s unresponsive. We are hoping that she’ll come out of it, but I wanted to call you, in case you might be able to come here.”
The words didn’t make sense. “No, you must be mistaken,” Lina said slowly. “Stacey’s not scheduled for surgery until the day after tomorrow.” That was what that nurse had told Kyle. Day after tomorrow. Not today.
Another pause. “I’m not sure how you were able to obtain that information, but Stacey’s procedure was moved up to this afternoon. I don’t know who you are, Ms. McCullough, but you are the only one Stacey asked us to contact. She can use all the support she can get right now.”
“I’m on my way.” Lina disconnected and jumped off of the bed, scrambling for a pair of jeans. Maybe if she kept moving, she wouldn’t throw up.
“Lina?” Johnny’s eyes were pleading.
“Stacey’s in a coma. They performed the operation today, the bastards! They weren’t supposed to do it until the day after tomorrow!” Lina’s voice rose as she fought against the hysteria that threatened to paralyze her. She had to be strong. Stacey needed her.
Kyle wrapped a jacket around her s
houlders. He was already dressed and ready to go. “Come on, I’ll drive.”
Traffic was light, but the thirty minute drive seemed to take forever. Thank goodness Kyle kept his cool. Lina was ready to rip everyone’s heads off unless they told her where to find Stacey. Thankfully, the staff had been alerted she was coming and notified Dr. Hamilton, who appeared at the front desk within minutes of their arrival.
“Ms. McCullough? I’m Dr. Hamilton. Will you come with me, please?” With only a cursory glance at Kyle and Johnny, she turned and pushed her way through a set of double doors, with Lina close behind.
“What’s going on? Where’s Stacey? Is she going to be all right?” Lina fired the questions at Dr. Hamilton’s back as she skipped to keep up.
“May I ask what your relationship is to Stacey?”
“I’m her best friend,” Lina said firmly.
“What about Stacey’s family?”
“Her mother lives out in Denver, but they’re not close.”
Dr. Hamilton nodded briskly. “I was afraid of something like that. Stacey specifically asked that only you be notified, Mrs. McCullough. It’s a rather unusual situation.”
“I don’t know how much you know, but Stacey volunteered for an experimental procedure. It’s quite complicated, but the bottom line is that we were attempting to implant cutting-edge biochips into her lower spine, as well as strategic areas around the sciatic and femoral nerves, hoping to initiate spontaneous regeneration of the damaged areas or, at the very least, restore some control and mobility through charged impulses.”
“You mean like a pacemaker?”
“Something like that, but more advanced. The idea is to help the body heal itself by stimulating existing damaged cells and ideally, encourage repair and new cell growth.”
That sounded exactly like the kind of medical miracle Stacey had been hoping for. They entered an elevator and Dr. Hamilton pressed the button for the seventh floor.
“The surgery went well. Unfortunately, as we were closing up, Stacey started seizing on the table.”
“Oh, God.” The world spun around her. Kyle’s strong arm about her waist was the only thing keeping her upright.
“We were able to stabilize her, but attempts to wake her from the anesthesia have been unsuccessful.”
They walked out into a wide, stark white corridor, the strong smell of antiseptic in the air. The sign on the wall opposite the elevators had arrows pointing to Surgical Intensive Care Unit (to the left) and its associated waiting area (to the right). The ICU consisted of a central nurse’s station and a semi-circle of individual units separated by floor to ceiling walls of plexiglass, allowing the nurses to keep an eye on patients at all times. Only two of the units were currently occupied. It was impossible to tell which one was Stacey.
“Only one visitor at a time, I’m afraid,” Dr. Hamilton told them. “You gentlemen will have to wait in there.” She pointed toward the waiting room. “And you - ” she placed her hand on Lina’s shoulder “- will come with me. You’ll need to put on a surgical gown and mask while you’re in with her, hospital rules.”
Dr. Hamilton grabbed a set of disposable scrubs from a cart and handed them to Lina. “You are a close friend of Stacey’s?”
“We were roommates in college, more like sisters really. After the accident, well, things changed. But then she flew out to see me last week, and it’s like we were never apart...” Lina flushed. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.”
“It’s all right,” Dr. Hamilton said soothingly. “I understand this must come as a shock. Stacey did not tell you about the operation?”
“No.”
When Lina was covered sufficiently, Dr. Hamilton led her to Stacey. Horrific images of the last time Lina had done this were filling her mind, but this time was different. Stacey was not bruised or battered, she looked perfectly normal, except for the machines and the various connections.
Stacey looked so tiny in that bed, surrounded by all of that equipment. Her dark reddish-brown hair, braided for the surgery, was a shock of color against the whiteness of her face. Her eyes were closed, her face peaceful. She looks just like a fairy princess, waiting for her prince to wake her with a kiss.
“Stacey wouldn’t want this,” she said through teary eyes, remembering the last time she had said the words. Dr. Hamilton pushed a small chair against the bed, away from the largest cluster of machinery, inviting Lina to sit down.
“She signed a DNR and a paper specifying that ‘no heroic actions’ be taken should her systems start to fail. But none of these machines are keeping her alive. They’re just monitoring her. Her heartbeat is strong and she’s breathing on her own.”
Lina breathed a sigh of relief.
“Can I hold her hand?” she asked, afraid to do anything for fear of setting off an alarm or knocking something loose.
“Yes, of course,” the doctor said kindly. “It might help.”
The small device in Dr. Hamilton’s pocket buzzed. She pulled it out and glanced quickly at the screen; her expression gave nothing away.
“Excuse me, I’m wanted down in the lab. You may stay with her for a while if you wish. Press the blue call button if you need anything. I suggest you try talking to her.”
“But she’s unconscious.”
“That doesn’t mean she can’t hear you.” Dr. Hamilton paused at the oversized entrance to the room. “Ms. McCullough?” Lina turned her face to meet her gaze. “I realize it’s none of my business, but are the two gentlemen with you friends of Stacey’s as well?”
“One of them is my husband. The other is my brother, Johnny. He’s the one with the blonde hair, like mine. He... cares for Stacey.” Dr. Hamilton nodded, turning to go.
“Dr. Hamilton, you have to know, we had no idea she was doing this.” Tears filled her eyes. “None of us wanted her to risk herself like this.”
Elena Hamilton nodded. Her expression was even sadder than before. “Maybe that’s why she felt it better not to tell you beforehand.”
The doctor hesitated one last time. “As long as she remains stable, we’ll be moving Stacey to a more comfortable room in the next few hours. I think it would be good if she had somebody with her as much as possible.”
* * *
Stacey was relocated to a room that was much nicer than the high-tech room in the SICU. It had big windows that let in lots of light, and was painted in cream and a soft pastel yellow. She’d been disconnected from nearly all the machines. Only a small monitor and an I.V. remained, slowly dripping sustenance into her pale, still form.
Johnny leaned down and kissed Stacey lightly on the forehead before pulling a chair up to the bed and taking her hand in his. It looked so small and frail in his big, calloused one. He hadn’t noticed how small it was before.
“Hey there, hellcat,” he whispered softly. “I’ve missed you.” Lifting her hand to his lips, he placed gentle kisses on each finger, one by one. “Such pretty hands. So soft. I want to feel them holding on to me again.”
“She’s responding to you.”
Johnny hadn’t realized Dr. Hamilton was still in the room. He followed her gaze to the monitor above the back of Stacey’s bed. Luminescent green lines forming peaks and valleys. As he watched, they gradually flattened out.
“Say something else,” Dr. Hamilton urged with guarded excitement.
“I’m right here with you, baby, and just so you know, I’m not going anywhere until you look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want me here.” He watched as the lines started bisecting again. Dr. Hamilton was grinning.
“This is a good sign,” she told him. “A very good sign.”
Dr. Hamilton made a quick check of her vitals, looking pleased with the results. “Looks like you might be the best medicine for her, Mr. Connelly. Shall I have a cot brought in for you?”
Johnny was surprised. He’d expected to have to fight tooth and nail and stay with her, because there was no way in hell he was going to leave.
“Yes, that would be great, thanks.”
“If you need help, the call button is right there.” She pointed to an oval-shaped, blue device that hung from the side of the bed. “This room’s got a full bath, so a shower and shave occasionally would not be out of the question.” Her face was passive but her eyes twinkled. “We can arrange to have meals sent up, too, if you’d like.”
“Hear that Stacey? Looks like you’re stuck with me, baby.”
Dr. Hamilton left, and Johnny sat there for a long time, tracing little patterns on her hand, willing any and all strength he had into her as he searched for the words he hoped she’d hear.
“I’m sorry I left you alone at the cabin, Stace. Something just snapped in me when you suggested... well, that’s not important. What’s important is that I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”
He paused and took a deep breath. “I fucked up. You caught me off-guard, you know? I mean, I knew you were something special from the first time I laid eyes on you, but it took me walking away to realize just how special. I’m not a romantic guy, and I’m not good with pretty words, but I know what I felt with you wasn’t like anything I’ve ever felt with anyone else. I was kind of hoping that you felt the same way, because I want more. More mornings, waking up with you in my arms. More nights, making love to you. More time to discover everything about you. Just... more.”
The monitor hummed quietly in the background. Muted pages and beeps sounded from out in the hallway. Someone laughed. Someone coughed. It seemed impossible that life could be continuing just outside the doors when his was suspended along with the fate of the woman that had touched his soul.
“Come back to me, Stacey, any way you can. I’ll be here, waiting.”
Chapter Eighteen
True to his word, Johnny barely left Stacey’s room for the next week. Convinced she was in good hands, Lina returned home with Kyle, though they made the five-hour round trip every other evening. Stacey’s condition continued to improve, though she had yet to regain consciousness.
Johnny (Connelly Cousins #2) Page 13