“Oh, I’m very sorry I am expecting guests to arrive later this afternoon, they are staying for a week. A mother and her two children along with their nanny. Funnily enough I had another mother, her two children, and their nanny stay with me not so long ago. Must be the new ways of the world, not your traditional family unit is it?” Mrs. Wilson said.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I spoke up, hoping to get a slight look of recognition in her eyes. “You look very familiar to me Mrs. Wilson, I feel like we have met before.”.
“Aye I meet so many people being a bed and breakfast owner; it's hard to keep up. My memory isn’t as good as it used to be,” she said.
“Never mind Mrs. Wilson, we will find somewhere else to stay. You do have a very lovely place here though. It is a fine-looking cottage,” Scott said.
“Why thank you, my dear lad, that means a lot to me,” Mrs. Wilson replied.
“Well, best we make tracks Letticia,” Scott said, trying hard to break the glare that I had set hard upon Mrs. Wilson’s face, that had never really left since arriving. Scott took hold of my hand and pulled me away. The feel of his warm touch defrosted my icy stare on Mrs. Wilson. Now my glare had moved on to Scott, and my hand that was being held by Scott's hand.
I looked up at Scott with our hands still connected and saw a flashback of that look he had given me so many times before when our hands were connected in this very same way. He saw it and felt it too, I could see it in his eyes. As we turned to head back up the Old Barks Cottage’s path Mrs. Wilson yelled back out to us, “You can do it, your time is valuable, your talents are many, and your future is bright. Good luck for the rest of your travels.”
I stopped in my tracks and was about to confront Mrs. Wilson. That was the exact quote she had written in the journal she had given me as my leaving present in my dream. Scott stopped me in my tracks and said, “No Letticia, leave it, let’s just go.”
“That’s so very strange” I said as he pulled me away. When we got to the top of the path, I pulled my arm out of the grip Scott had placed upon it in order to remove me from a situation that was about to get out of control. I was frustrated and annoyed with him.
“What did you do that for Scott? Those exact words were what Mrs. Wilson wrote in my journal, the journal she gave me as a going away present.” I looked at his expression and saw understanding in his eyes.
“But I don’t need to tell you that, because you already know, don’t you Scott? For goodness sake Scott stop pretending this is all about me, you know things too, I can see it in your eyes. This wasn’t just my dream was it? You were there right alongside me I just know it. Why don't you just admit it to me?”
My voice was growing louder, and I didn't care that we were in a Scottish suburban street having an argument for all to hear. In fact, I was in my own little world and unaware even if anybody else was around.
Scott raised his voice back, “I don’t know what you are talking about Letticia. You have had a bad head injury, you are confused and still recovering.”
“Don’t give me that Scott, you are hiding something and until you come out with the truth, I’m going on this journey on my own.” I turned away in anger and headed back off towards the Royal Mile. I had done this walk plenty of times before, whether it was in my dream or not. I knew where I was going.
Scott yelled back to me, “Letticia where are you going now?”
Away from you, that is where,” I yelled back in anger. I picked up speed almost to a race-walking speed.
Despite what had just happened I did have a little laugh to myself. Race walking had popped up a lot in my six-month long dream and here I now found myself doing it to get away from the man I so deeply loved. I turned around and noticed Scott was keeping his distance from me, following me and keeping an eye on me nonetheless. I was glad, I didn't really want to lose him and do this journey for answers on my own. I just needed him to begin to open up to me and start telling the truth if we were ever going to find answers.
I found a park bench to sit on once I arrived back on the Royal Mile. I needed to rest up for a bit. My fitness was still lagging a bit after being in a coma for six months, as Scott liked to regularly remind me. A normal person who had just come out of a coma would not have put their body or mind through what I was doing to mine. But a lot of people wouldn’t have a hot, sexy Scottish male in tow looking after them and ensuring their wellbeing.
I sat on the bench to regain my breath. There was a teenage boy who must have been around sixteen or seventeen busking on the corner near where I sat. He was playing the bagpipes, but his style was rock. It was very entertaining and uplifting.
My foot started tapping along to the beat. I noticed my bodyguard Scott was now lost in the crowd. He was no longer on my trail. I was sure he wouldn't be too far away. I continued to tap along to the music. He had quite the crowd forming around him and quite a full Tam o’ Shanter of money. He looked quite the entertainer and a bit perplexing at the same time.
I was getting into the song and was about to get up from the bench and add to the already overflowing Tam o’ Shanter by dropping a few coins in, until I was stopped in my tracks by a moist, sweet looking chocolate cupcake that appeared in front of my very own eyes.
“Here, you look ravenous.” Scott raised his voice to be heard over the bagpipes. “You almost look like you are on the verge of dying of hunger,” he teased. He sat down and prompted me to lie down lengthwise and put my feet up to rest them. I placed my head down on his knee and closed my eyes as I took a bite of cupcake. I felt my whole body relax in the afternoon Scottish sun that was starting to warm my cold body up. The heat of the sun felt soft and weak but nonetheless, still there. The rays were working hard to strike the land of Scotland that day, not at all like the heat you experience in Australia. The sun strikes hard there and often works overtime, refusing to retreat and give the land time to cool down, day or night.
Scott sat there looking at me, waiting for it. He knew it was going to sink in eventually, and it actually took longer than he had anticipated. In all fairness I did after all have the most beautiful cupcake I had ever tasted in my mouth; my mind was elsewhere until after a good minute or two I flinched with an expression of pure shock and realisation.I jolted upright with a mouthful of cupcake, I didn’t have time to chew the rest or swallow it. I just had to start talking. The words just had to get out.
“You have been here before haven't you, you remember this exact situation. You are replaying a part of my dream, I mean our dream,” I corrected myself. “It’s starting to begin to feel like this was our dream.”
Scott just looked deep into my eyes. He touched my mouth and closed my lips in a way to suggest I should keep eating in order to swallow my mouthful before I choked. So, I did as I was ordered. Scott replied. “Yes, Letticia I have been here before, with you.”
The music was loud so I had to rely on mostly lip reading, but I got the gist of it. This was Scott confessing that the role he had played in my dream was indeed mutual. He had been right there with me. I wanted to go off somewhere quiet and discuss this further, but that was going to have to wait as what happened next was just as important.
The bagpiper waved a huge wave over in our direction. I looked behind me to see if he was waving at the people behind us but there was nobody there, so I waved back like I knew him. Scott was doing the same thing. I then noticed Scott did, in fact, know him though as he started to get up and walk towards the boy just as the boy was doing to Scott. They met in the middle of the crowd and embraced. Scott placed a kiss upon the top of the boy’s head. I was still none the wiser on what was unfolding right in front of my very own eyes. I was too busy concentrating on finishing the last of my cupcake.
As the crowd started to dispatch Scott and the boy made their way over to my bench. I was starting to form a rather strong attachment to this bench now, it shall go down in history as the Letticia Little bench. Maybe I will even get a little engraved plaque made up for it, I
laughed to myself.
I was just finishing up my last mouthful of cupcake when Scott came over and said, “Letticia I would like to introduce you to my son, Brysen.”
My last mouthful of cupcake never ended up in my stomach, instead it got sprayed all over poor Brysen’s face. That bit of news had come as a complete and utter shock. Scott never had a son in my dream. As I came out of my shocked and messy state, I noticed Scott was wiping the sprayed cupcake off Brysen’s face with a tissue. Brysen was moaning about how disgusting it was and how rude this lady was, meaning me. Scott was ensuring him that no she wasn’t rude she was one of his patients, she just has a bad brain injury and is learning to eat again.
How dare he, I thought. Brain injury yes, learning to eat again no. Scott was only teasing though and all was forgiven when he put his arm around me and pulled me in towards him in a friendly way. “Aye she means no harm,” Scott ensured Brysen. Scott and Brysen laughed together, as I too followed suit, but had his arm not softly been around me hugging me, I could quite easily have put Scott in his place with a slap across his face. However, I rather enjoyed Scott’s hugs, so I went with it.
“Hello Brysen, I’m Letticia, very nice to meet you,” I said. “Likewise,” he replied, still looking a bit unsure at me until he gave me a wink, just as his father had winked at me in our dreams. I still longed to have Scott wink at me in this non-dream life. It was yet to come. I missed Scott’s winks that made me go weak at the knees. Brysen’s wink, however, informed me he was only joking and that he had inherited not only the art of a good wink like his father but also his father’s sense of humour.
Scott asked Brysen where his mum was. Brysen answered, “Where she always is, at the pub on the corner, The Jolly Inn.”
Scott rolled his eyes. “Her Local, I should have known. Ok son well, you go play your next set and once you are finished, we will go and grab a bite to eat,” Scott offered.
Scott motioned me to follow him over to a café on the other side of the road. He ordered two cups of coffee and we sat down to talk. We could still hear the bagpipes playing in the background thanks to Brysen, but we were far enough away that we could talk and hear one another speak instead of relying on lip reading.
Scott spoke first. “Yes, Letticia you are right, I too was having the same dreams you were, although I’m sure your dream was more in depth and continuous as you were asleep day in day out, unlike me.
“After each shift at the hospital I would go home and sleep, and every time I would have these dreams about you. We were in Scotland for about six months so my dreams lasted for six months too, then the last few days before you woke up and came out of the coma, we were in Cairns in Australia.
“I can’t even start to explain how or why this happened to us,” Scott said.
“Oh, Scott, I knew it, thank you for finally opening up to me. We can now get the answers we both very much want and need,” I replied. I leaned over the table to kiss him, but he pulled away. I pulled back embarrassed, confused as to why Scott did not accept my offer.
“Letticia, I can't, I don't even know you,” Scott said.
“What do you mean Scott, yes you do. This was no ordinary dream Scott we were together, we had something special.”
I saw the look of desperation in Scott’s eyes. He was torn; he didn't know the right thing to do. Then I remembered his wife who was back in the pub getting her daily fix of whiskeys into her. “Oh, I do apologise, Scott, you are married, I forgot. That part never happened in my dream,” I said.
“We are separated Letticia, we decided to take a six-month separation while I went to Australia for the year-long contract at the hospital.”
I looked confused and said, “What? How very strange, the day of my accident I was heading home to Paul to discuss the exact same idea. I too wanted to take a trial six-month separation from him. I was heading home to have that very hard conversation that needed to be had, however, I never made it back to him. So we have indeed been together ever since,” I explained to Scott.
“Well in my case it did actually happen Letticia. And we are separated. You see, my wife is an alcoholic and it just got to the stage where it was affecting not only our relationship but Brysen’s too. I tried to get Brysen to come to Australia with me for the year of the contract, but he is in a bagpipe band here and it’s his life and his passion and he didn’t want to leave the band. So I organised him to stay at his grandparents’ house, my parents’, for the year. My wife is too unpredictable to have him around her on her own.
Even though Brysen is fully capable of looking after himself at his age he still doesn’t need to see his mum drunk every night,” Scott explained.
“So now you are back what is the outcome, are you going to make it a permanent separation or go back to her?” I asked Scott.
“Well, technically Letticia I shouldn't be back yet. I still have three months of my contract left. Which reminds me I will need to ring up the hospital in Australia today and let them know my whereabouts. Hopefully they understand and there will still be a job there for me once I return!” Scott said.
“Oh yes, sorry about that,” I said shyly.
“And in answer to your other question, no, it has run its course. The relationship between my wife and I is over, there is no going back. It is far too toxic, it always is when there is substance abuse involved in a relationship,” Scott said.
I lay a sympathetic hand upon his shoulder and said, “Oh Scott I’m sorry to hear that.” But deep down a feeling of thank goodness for that flooded over my entire body, so much so that I think it showed as it creeped out of every expression line, every mannerism and every inch of my body.
Scott looked at me with amusement, “Oh are you now Letticia?” he said sarcastically.
”Yes, of course,” I half-heartedly replied.
“Anyway, can I trust you to stay put for half an hour or so while I go find my wife, or should I say soon-to-be ex-wife? You are still my patient so I can’t be losing you, if I do then there really is no job to go back to in Australia,” Scott said.
I ensured him I wouldn't be taking my bottom off this chair until he returned to me as an available, hot Scottish man. Scott looked at me again with that same amused look upon his face.
With Scott gone for a bit, it gave me time to dissect what he had just confessed. I was running through all the new evidence in my head when I was interrupted by Brysen.
“Hi Letticia, I saw you and my father heading over this way. Can I buy you a coffee?” he said ever so clearly and slowly like I was somebody who was a tad slow and special who was recovering from a brain injury. Then I remembered Scott telling him about my brain injury.
“Oh Brysen, my brain injury isn’t that bad, but it looks like you can afford to buy me a coffee,” I replied as I looked at his bursting Tam o’ Shanter that was filled to the brim with coins and notes. “Make it extra-large,” I added. Brysen laughed and went off to buy two large coffees with his overflowing earnings for the day.
As he walked away, I noticed how he resembled Scott down to a tee. They even had that same stride in their step as they walked. He seemed like a well-rounded teenager. Somebody who had been brought up well, obviously all thanks to Scott. He was very articulate and could speak to adults like he was one himself. I noticed this as I watched him ordering coffee in such a confident, well-mannered way. I had also noticed these characteristics in him while he was busking earlier, and the way he chatted and thanked people who were listening to him. He was not at all one of those withdrawn ‘hate life’ sort of teenagers you see these days.
He returned with the coffees and placed mine in front of me along with several serviettes. He was still not fully convinced with my abilities, and just in case my brain injury meant my fine motor skills were still not up to scratch and I may need to wipe up my spills he supplied a few extra serviettes.
Chapter Nine
Getting to know Brysen
“So Letticia, how are you enjoying Scotlan
d so far, is this your first time here?” Brysen asked.
“I guess you could say first time, yes, and yes I’m very much enjoying it thanks. Brysen is a very nice name,” I added.
“Thanks, do you know the Scottish meaning behind Brysen?” he asked me.
“No not at all,” I admitted.
“Well, it means a son of a freckled man.”
We both laughed. “Hardly, I don’t think Scott has one single freckle upon his face,” I replied.
“Not unless you count the mole on the side of his face near his left ear,” Brysen said. I slowly stopped laughing and realised I had not noticed that mole before. Surely I would have by now. I decided to check it out on his return.
“So Letticia, what brings you to Scotland apart from being my father’s patient and your brain injury?” Brysen asked, sounding genuinely interested. I was put on the spot with no time to think, so the first thing that came to my mind also came out of my mouth at the same time.
“Jamie Fraser,” I said. I coughed and cleared my throat. I was just as surprised that it had come out of my mouth as Brysen was. I tried to think of something else more intelligent to say but then I added, “and I’m also wanting to go on an Outlander tour to feed my addiction.”
“Aye, I see we have another Jamie Fraser fan on our hands, do we? That Jamie Fraser has women from all over the world swooning over him. I, on the other hand, am much more of a Claire Fraser fan,” Brysen admitted.
“Oh, so you are an Outlander fan too then I take it?” I said sounding surprised.
“Aye. I’m not one of those hard-core manic fans but I’ve been known to go on an Outlander tour or two. A good friend of mine, Steve, is the tour guide,. I could see if I can get you a spot on one of his next tours,” he suggested.
I had now come to the point that when unexplained coincidences happened I no longer felt shocked. I just ever so calmly opened up my journal to the next clear page and proceeded to enter in the latest one. So calmly, in fact, Brysen didn't even stop to notice.
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