by Amy Rachiele
“I like her too.”
“And Vito… the asshole laughed so hard when he figured it out, I wasn’t sure he could pull himself together enough to drive.”
“Why was he laughing?”
“Because he’s an ass and he knew how bad I wanted you. But I had to convince my father to allow it.”
“Hmmm, my father warned me away from you,” she said quietly.
“If I had a daughter, I wouldn’t want her hanging with me either.” She smiles again, but I know that isn’t everything. “That’s not it though, is it?”
“No.” Megan sucks in a breath. “I’m also scared something will happen to you. You won’t tell me what you do all day… and what happened the other night. You’re keeping things from me.”
She’s right. I am. But it isn’t because I don’t want to tell her. It’s because I want to protect her.
“I can’t tell you.” I kiss her. “And I don’t want you in that part of my life. That’s what scares me.” I kiss her again. I reach my arm around her slim waist and slip my hand under the hem of her shirt. I graze my fingers over the soft, warm skin of her belly.
A barely audible groan sounds in the back of her throat. Her need and want excite me. I brush my hands higher up her sides. Megan’s kisses become hungrier and I’m finding it hard to stop myself. I want her.
The stopping of the limo pulls us from our passion-filled daze. We’re right in front of her house. I don’t want this to end. I don’t think she does either.
“This is your stop.” Megan’s hair is wilder looking than usual. It probably didn’t help that I kept running my fingers through it.
“Yeah, I guess it is.” She sounds disappointed. “When will I see you again?”
“I need to check out the schedule for the week,” I say. “I’ll text you.” I kiss her again and walk her to the door.
After I drop Megan off, I have the limo driver take me right to the docks at the warehouse where the meeting is being held. There are so many of us there when Pop calls a meeting like this that we don’t all fit at the restaurant. The restaurant is out of commission right now, anyway.
Dino’s outside with some of his younger cousins. They all watch me get out and pay the driver. The limo pulls away, and I light a cigarette. I didn’t need one the whole day with Megan until now.
Dino calls out to me. “What’s the matter? You have to fuckin’ wine and dine her with limos to get any from her?” I was calm all day, and then Dino has to go and fuck with it.
I don’t even hesitate. I take two strides towards him and blast him in the face with my fist. He’s ready for it this time—unlike in church. He tries to hit me back, but I duck and smash him again. A cut forms over his eye and his jaw lumps up. Like a stupid fuck, he tries to hit me again, but I dance back and swing my leg out. He goes crashing to the ground. No one, not one of his cousins or any bystanders, interferes.
Uncle Tutti must have heard the commotion. He comes outside and sees Dino lying on the ground.
“Aww, Tonio,” he, sounds disappointed. “Will you stop beatin’ that kid up?”
I light a new cigarette since I tossed the other one on my way to pummel Dino. I take two drags and flick it at him.
“Stay the fuck away from me and Megan.”
I mumble as I blow smoke out of my lungs. “Sorry, Uncle,” I say, passing him to go into the meeting.
I step into my father’s arms and he pats me on the back. “How was your day?” he asks.
“Good. Really good.”
Donny’s already seated with his crutches leaning against the table. He looks decent for being shot the other day. I give him a tap on the back, and he pats me on the shoulder.
The place is packed; even sons as young as fourteen are here. This brewing fight with Sommersville has all the families of Palmetto coming together.
My father stands at the front table and everyone sits down in folding chairs. The tables are plastic party tables set up in a huge square on the cement floor. Dino sits all the way on the other side of the room from me with his dad. He seethes with anger. He baited me on purpose because he thought he could take me. He’s a fuckin’ stunad!
Vito sits at my right with Louie, and Ronnie, who sports a black eye, sits on my left. Normally they’re not here. They sit with me to show their loyalty.
“Sommersville has gotten on my last nerve. I’m done with this shit,” my pop offers. Some nod in agreement. He points to me. “My Tonio will lead the hit.” His hands gesture as he speaks. “Tonio has proven his worth.” I’m shocked and honored that my father trusts and believes in me enough to give me this responsibility.
All faces turn to me. Admiration is on the young faces, and pride is on the old. I stand to acknowledge my pop with a respectful nod, letting him know I accept.
Vito nudges me. I can tell he’s psyched. I catch Dino staring at me. I just look away; he’s not worth my time.
Louie picks up on it and whispers to me, “I know why he isn’t at college. He got fuckin’ kicked out for selling drugs.”
“Fuckin’ stunad,” I mutter.
Pop brings up the attack at the restaurant. “Tonio selflessly snuck up on the bastards and pumped iron in the back window till it broke, frightening those fuckers away.”
I’m embarrassed by Pop’s accolades. I just reacted. I don’t think it was selfless. Don’t think, just do! replays in my head.
*****
A week of doing Donny’s dirty work goes by. On the days I’m close to home, I pick up Megan from school. Vito offers to take Erin home so Megan and I can be alone for a while, but Megan always tells him no. I don’t think Megan trusts Vito with her sister. It’s okay, because just seeing her for a short time makes everything I do worthwhile.
Pop never discloses at the meeting when the attack is going to take place. He knows there’s a snitch somewhere. So, he’ll let me know when the time is right.
Vito, Ronnie, and Louie are pumped up. They plan on coming. They don’t have to, but they want to. Vito says that he always has my back.
It’s Friday, and I really want to pick Megan up, but I have a runner. The guy took off. I chase him, and I know where he’s going. He has a sister who lives about thirty miles away from Palmetto. I’m going to stake out her house.
Chapter 15
Capisce? (ga-bish): Do you get it?
Megan
I’m sitting in history class, thinking about Antonio. I have a habit now of touching the necklace he gave me, feeling the cool metal under my fingertips. It’s the nicest gift I’ve ever received. We made plans to go to the movies this weekend. I really want to go to the mall to get some new clothes with the cooler weather starting. It would be nice to have a new outfit for our date.
“Megan?” my history teacher calls me.
“Yes, Mrs. Touti?”
“You’re needed at the main office.” I pack up my books and walk down the hall.
As I turn the corner into the office doorway, I’m taken aback. My father is standing there.
“Hi, Meg,” my father returns quietly.
“Uh, hi, Dad. What are you doing here?” In all the years I’ve been in school, I can’t remember my father ever coming to the school. I had a music recital in which I played the harp in middle school, and he didn’t even come to that.
“I signed you out.” I pause while he continues. “I have somewhere I want to take you.”
“Uh, okay.” The secretary waves to me from her desk and I say goodbye. Dad and I walk to the minivan and get in silently.
Weird. That’s the only word to describe this moment. We drive for about ten minutes, still in complete silence.
“Where are we going?” I question.
“You’ll see.”
“Is it a surprise?”
“You’ll see when we get there,” Dad says stoically.
I want to ask more questions, but my father’s demeanor is actually starting to frighten me.
“Did Antonio give you
that necklace?” he asks, never taking his eyes off the road.
“Yes.” I immediately touch it and smile.
“Are you going out again?” His voice never changing.
“Yes, we’re going to the movies. Why?”
My dad doesn’t reply; he just keeps driving.
After a while we drive into a neighborhood with small houses and tiny front lawns. It’s the middle of the afternoon, so there isn’t anyone around, most likely because kids are at school and parents are at work. My dad parks in front of someone’s house. I have no clue whose house it is, or even where we are.
“Where are we?” I ask.
“Megan...” My father’s is on the steering wheel. “This is for your own good. Get out.”
My heart is racing with worry and a lot of fear. What is this all about? I slowly open my door. My father comes around the van to stand next to me. He grabs my wrist and starts pulling me down the sidewalk. He’s not rough, but he’s not gentle either.
“What are we doing, Dad?”
“Quiet,” he warns.
I can faintly hear yelling as we walk farther. Still clutching my wrist, my dad walks us over to a tree. The yelling is getting louder. My dad moves us slowly to the edge of some house. I still have no clue what we’re doing or whose house this is. Are we trespassing? One of the voices yelling is familiar. The tones are sharp and mean.
“I told you to never fuckin’ run from me!” I hear as my father pushes me a little to see around the corner of the house. He’s right behind me. Two men are standing and struggling in the backyard. The smaller man is in a headlock. He reaches behind him to try and grab his assailant. I put my hand on the house to steady myself. Bits of peeling paint crumble in my hand.
“Where’s the money? I’m not asking again!”
Those words help me to understand the horror I’m witnessing. It’s Antonio! Within seconds, Antonio gives two kicks to the man’s kidneys. The guy yells and falls to the ground. Antonio reaches for the man’s left leg and, with a quick twist, snaps it. My body jolts and cringes with the break and snap. The man screams and so do I, but my scream is muffled by my father’s hand over my mouth. Hot tears burn my eyes as I watch Antonio’s face. It’s full of rage and hatred. It’s an expression that I can’t even imagine on the most infamous criminal—it’s heartless and cold. Tears continue to flood my eyes and roll down my face and slide down my father’s hands.
As the man is writhing on the ground, Antonio punches him twice in the face.“Shut the fuck up!” He rifles through the man’s pockets and finds a wad of cash.
I feel the scratch of vomit welling up in the back of my throat. My body convulses with panic.
Antonio kicks the guy hard in the leg he broke, shoves the money in his pocket. “Next time, if you run, I won’t be so fuckin’ nice.”
That’s it. I lose it. I wriggle to get away from my father and push off from the house. I vomit into the bushes. My father grabs my hand and starts tugging on it, motioning for me to run. But I can’t see through the tears, and I collapse with more dry heaves wracking my body. My father reaches down and stands me up, slinging my arm over his shoulder, and moves me toward the car. I’m so afraid that my body just doesn’t work. He handles me like a rag doll.
My father gruffly orders, “Keep moving, Megan.” Keep moving where? There is nowhere to go that can save me from this. The man I love dishes out merciless and unfeeling beatings. Oh God! The man I love. And I vomit all over the street.
I’ve heard of people blacking out when they witness something horrific. So that’s the only explanation that I can figure out when I wake up on my bed with a cold facecloth on my head. My throat stings from vomit and screaming. My face is achy and my legs are numb. My mother is sitting on a chair in my room, watching me.
“You knew, didn’t you?” I ask in a raspy voice.
She nods yes. Her face is blank except for her pursed lips. I take her expression to be righteous, and I lose it again.
“Get out of my room!” I scream. “I hate you!” I throw the facecloth at her. She stands; she’s acting all high and mighty. Shouldn’t a mother be sympathetic when her daughter learns her boyfriend is psychotic? “Get out!” I scream again.
“We were just doing what’s best for you,” she humphs as she leaves the room. The river of tears I cried comes back in shuddering waves. I can’t stop them. The pain is so intense, it’s like someone stabbed a knife through my sternum and into my heart.
I don’t know how long I cry, but a soft knock sounds on my door and a whisper says, “It’s Erin.”
The door opens quietly. Through my sobs I hear her gently pad in the room. She sits on the bed and rubs my back. I look over at her. There are tears in her eyes too. Exhaustion overtakes me, and I fall asleep.
*****
Antonio
I don’t make it to pick up Megan. That pisses me off. So I call her. I can’t reach her. I call and text her all afternoon. She doesn’t respond. That’s not like her.
My phone buzzes and I pray that it’s Megan. It’s Vito instead.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“We’re headed for the docks. You in?”
“Yeah, I guess so,” I say. “I don’t have plans with Megan or anything.”
“Is Red okay? She left school early today.”
“What? I’ve been trying to call her.”
“Yeah, paesan, she left early. Her father picked her up.”
“Thanks. I’ll catch up with you later.” I hang up and drive to her house.
I knock on the door, but no one answers. Their van is in the yard. Someone has to be home. Maybe she’s sick. Did she go to the hospital? I knock again and slowly the door opens. Mr. O’Neill stands there soundlessly, looking his usual somber self.
“Hello.”
He doesn’t talk to me.
“Is Megan okay? I tried calling her, but she didn’t answer. Vito told me she left school early today.” Mr. O’Neill just lets me ramble on and on. He doesn’t take his eyes off me. “Can I come in? Is she here?” The expression on Mr. O’Neill’s face makes me feel anxious.
“I don’t think she wants to see you,” Mr. O’Neill says indifferently. He starts to close the door. I wedge my foot in between the threshold and door.
“Wait!” I beg. “Is she okay?”
“She’s not your concern,” he returns ominously. He crushes my foot with the door. No way!
I push the door open and Mr. O’Neill stumbles back. “What’s going on?” Megan’s mother appears. She glares at me.
“She doesn’t want you anymore,” Mrs. O’Neill barks with her hands folded across her chest. I’m dumbfounded. I can only hope that I heard her wrong.
“What?”
“You heard me, she doesn’t want you anymore. She knows what you’re like now.”
I walk into the room, astonished. “What do you mean?”
Mrs. O’Neill gestures to her husband. “Megan went on a little field trip today.” I want to knock the smirk off her face. “She’s seen you in action now.”
“What?!” I yell. “What do you mean?” Fear and anger surge through me like a missile.
Mr. O’Neill shoots his wife a warning glance. “Antonio, I don’t think it’s going to work out between the two of you,” he informs me.
I clench my fists. “What do you mean by ‘she’s seen me in action’?”
“I think you better leave,” Mr. O’Neill says.
“No! I have the right to know.” I stamp my foot, the tips of my fingers digging into my palms. Icy cold realization slithers down my back. “You!” I point at Megan’s father. “You!” It’s getting harder for me to breathe. My chest is closing up at the comprehension that Megan must have seen me today. She must have seen me break Scott’s leg and beat the shit out of him.
“I want you to stay away from her,” he commands. “This is as far as the relationship is going.”
“No,” I rush out, the words stinging. “I just got her...
Don’t do this.” I see Erin sitting at the top of the stairs, holding her legs and rocking back and forth. She’s silently crying.
My brain wants me to yell, Where’s Megan? I want to take her away from here. Just run. Go somewhere together. Leave. I feel sick. The air is too thin in this small room. The hurt is so intense, more than any fight I’ve ever been in. My eyes tingle with an unfamiliar sensation.
A knock sounds on the front door. My father walks in. Mrs. O’Neill must have called him when she left the room. I’m stuck, frozen.
I look at Pop, and he’s sympathetic. I rub my eyes, unsure of what to do. I need to see Megan, but I don’t think anyone is going to let me. Part of me feels that this is a conspiracy, that this was planned all along. It was too easy to convince my pop and Megan’s father to allow us a relationship, even one this painfully short.
I’ve been betrayed. Set up. Megan seeing me taking care of business for my dad would do her in, make her hate me and be afraid of me forever. They knew it. I should have told her when she asked. I should have confided in her to make this less of a blow. Maybe I could have made her understand, helped her to deal with that side of myself that I don’t even like to think about. I would never hurt her. EVER! I’m a monster, bred, raised, and trained right here in Palmetto by the best, my father.
“Tonio,” Pop’s voice is quiet, “I think we better go.”
“I want to see her,” I choke out. “I want her to tell me that she doesn’t want me anymore. Let me just talk to her,” I plead.
Megan’s mother leaves the room and her father just shakes his head no as he opens the door for Pop and me to leave. I shoot a glance at Erin, who is still sitting at the top of the stairs hugging herself. I drag my feet to move toward the door.
At the sidewalk, Pop clasps me on the back. “I’m sorry. It really is for the best.” I throw my shoulder back and push my father’s hand away. “Come on, we gotta get ready for the hit,” his tone is soft. I keep my mouth shut tight. I don’t want to do anything that I’ll regret later. I jump in my car, rev the engine, and shoot off down the street.
Vito, Ronnie, and Louie are at the docks drinking. Beer just isn’t going to cut it for me tonight, so I stop and grab a bottle of vodka first.
“Whoa, Antonio, what’s with the hard shit?” Ronnie asks as I swig the clear alcohol from the bottle.