by Sherry Lewis
“All you had to do was let her go,” she whispered as the pounding of running feet sounded on the steps. “That’s all.”
She had no idea if Jackson would be angry or whether he’d forgive her if he was. But she’d done the only thing she could.
For Jackson. For Angel. And for herself.
Chapter Eighteen
A BANDAGE ON HIS HAND, a couple of aspirin, and Jackson would be all right. That’s what he kept telling everybody, but nobody wanted to listen.
Seething at the delay, he sat on the tailgate of somebody’s truck while a paramedic frowned at his hand. But the bleeding had already stopped, and Jackson didn’t see what all the fuss was about. It wasn’t the first time he’d been bitten by his little brother.
Just minutes earlier, Holden had been driven away in a patrol car, still protesting the unfairness of his treatment, still shouting about the injustice that was his life. Jackson couldn’t help wondering what might have happened if only Holden hadn’t panicked. But he’d been too strung out to think clearly, and until that changed, he’d probably always wind up right back in the same place.
The paramedic dug into a kit at his feet. “We’ll stabilize this with an antibiotic ointment and let the doctor check it once we transport you to the hospital. I want to get a look at that cut on your leg, too.”
“It’s a flesh wound,” Jackson growled, craning to see inside the motel office where Lucy sat huddled with Angel. “I can take care of that with some peroxide and a Band-Aid. And I’m not going to the hospital, so do whatever you need to do to make yourself happy and then let me get the hell out of here. I want to make sure my niece is all right.”
“Look, buddy. Relax, okay? We don’t want to take any chances, so it might be a little while. But the police are in there with her and I’m sure she’s just fine.”
Relax? After the past three weeks? After the confrontation he’d just had with his brother? After seeing Angelina for the first time in more than a dozen years? Impossible.
Scowling, the paramedic glanced over his shoulder, found his partner, and shouted, “Do me a favor, Boggs. Go inside and tell somebody that this guy wants to see his niece. I don’t think he’s going to hold still until he does.”
Boggs sketched a small salute and disappeared inside the office. A few minutes later, the door opened again and Lucy emerged with Angel. She kept her arm around Angel’s shoulders as they crossed the parking lot, and Angel walked slowly, as if she was reluctant to meet him.
His heart sank, but he’d already lost so many years. He didn’t want to lose another minute. Of course she was nervous. Afraid, even, especially after what she’d just been through. Patience had never been one of Jackson’s strengths, but he was learning. The past three weeks had taught him a whole lot about that.
As they walked toward him, he made a conscious effort to remove the frown from his lips and any residual anger in his eyes. Angel didn’t need any of that.
Finally, they drew up in front of him and he got his first good look at the niece he’d never stopped loving. She was beautiful, as he’d known she would be, but he would have thought she was beautiful no matter what.
He could feel Lucy watching him, could even feel the gentle warmth of her smile, but he couldn’t tear his eyes from Angelina.
Slowly, she lifted her gaze to meet his and he was overwhelmed by a feeling of familiarity equally as strong as the sense that he was looking at a stranger. He ached to jump down off the truck and grab her, but he didn’t want to frighten her, so he settled for his best smile. “Hi, Angel.”
“Hi.”
“I don’t suppose you remember me?”
She shook her head quickly. “No, but I know who you are. I found some pictures in my mom’s room once.”
“I guess we have some catching up to do, don’t we?”
A quick smile flitted across her face. She ducked her head to hide it, but Jackson’s heart soared at the sight. After only a moment, she lifted her gaze to his again. “I guess I made a pretty big mess, didn’t I?”
He glanced at the three police cars still in the parking lot, lights flashing, at the paramedic truck and the jumble of officers still moving around the scene. “What? This? You call this a mess?”
Again, that smile darted across her face, but she seemed to relax a little. “I didn’t know he was like that. I just wanted to meet him.”
“He’s not like that,” Jackson said. “The drugs and the booze are. If you could have known him before they got hold of him, you would have liked him. Maybe he’ll even take advantage of the help we’re going to get him and you’ll get a chance to know who he really is. If not now, then in a few years.” Anything was possible. He’d learned that over the past three weeks, too. “How did you find him?”
“I just asked around online. There were these chat rooms, you know? Set up for different places? I found this one for people who live in Nacogdoches and hung out in there a while. I just kept asking people if they knew my dad. It took a little while, but I finally found this guy who did and he told my dad to e-mail me. It’s not that hard.” She darted a glance at Lucy. “Am I in trouble?”
Lucy rubbed her shoulder gently. “You’ve had a lot of people very frightened. Hank has been worried sick about you, and you could have been hurt. But I think that if you’ll promise never to do anything like this again, we can let this one slide.”
With a sigh of relief, Angel nodded eagerly. “I don’t think I’ll be doing this again. I just wanted to meet him, you know? I wanted to know what he was like and see if I looked like him.”
“You look more like my grandmother,” Jackson said. “If you’d like, I can show you a few pictures. And if it’s okay with your mom, I’ll even introduce you to your great-grandpa. He’s been waiting to see you again for a long time.”
“I think I’d like that.”
“I know I’m not your dad, but I sure would like to be part of your life from now on. If it’s okay with you, I’ll try to work that out with your mom.”
Angel looked him over, considering that. “How come you never came to see me before?”
“It sure wasn’t because I didn’t want to.” The paramedic swabbed ointment on his arm and Jackson winced at the sting. “It’s a long story, and I’ll tell you the whole thing later, I promise. But I always loved you, even when I wasn’t around.” He had to stop for a minute while the paramedic wound a bandage around his arm. “How did you find out about the ranch, anyway?”
Angel’s lips curved into a shy smile. “I’m a straight-A student. I know how to look things up. Besides, Mom had some stuff in this little lockbox in her room. It wasn’t that hard to open.”
Jackson bit back a smile. A straight-A student. That was good. That was very good. But he would have loved her even without the GPA. “How long have you known?”
“A couple of years.”
“And you never came to us?”
“I didn’t think you wanted me.” The uncertainty in her eyes nearly killed him. “I talked to Hank about it and he said to call, but I was scared.”
Jackson slid from the tailgate and gathered her into his arms. “I don’t ever want you to be afraid of me, Angel. And I hope you’ve figured out that we do want you.” He grinned a little and glanced around at the emergency vehicles parked helter-skelter in the parking lot. I wouldn’t have gone to all this trouble for just anybody.”
He didn’t get a chance to say more. A car door slammed somewhere nearby, and Patrice came flying across the parking lot to scoop up her baby. Hank climbed slowly out of the driver’s side and stayed near the car, giving Patrice and Angel their privacy. At the sight of her mother, Angel burst into tears and Jackson watched with a twinge of envy as Angel threw herself into her mother’s arms. Three weeks ago, he’d been ready to take Angelina away from her mother if the chance arose. Now he realized that he could never do that. God willing— Patrice willing—he and Wiley would do whatever they could to make their lives easier. Having Angel
around for two weeks out of every month while her mother traveled would be no hardship.
Reluctantly, he tore his gaze away and found Lucy, who was watching him with a mixture of sadness and jubilation. He grinned at her and motioned for her to come closer since he couldn’t seem to get away from the paramedic. “We did it, Detective.”
Watching Jackson and Angel together had been almost too much for Lucy, and the tearful reunion between mother and daughter cost Lucy her self-control. Knowing that this was the end of her time with Jackson made it impossible to stay dry-eyed. But he was so happy, she couldn’t bear to ruin the moment for him, so she did her best to smile.
“Yes, we did. But you’re not angry with me?”
“Why would I be angry?”
“For calling in backup. I know how much you wanted to handle Holden yourself.”
Jackson shook his head and even managed to look a little sheepish. “I love him. He’s my brother. But his problems are too big for me to handle. I’m going to talk to Wiley about getting him professional help. We’ve done it before, but he’s never been interested. I guess we just have to keep trying.”
“Maybe one of these days he’ll be ready.” She looked back at Angel and smiled. “She’s really beautiful, Jackson. I hope everything works out for all of you.”
“I do, too.” He looked back at Patrice and Angel and his smile grew. “There’s a chance, anyway. That’s more than I had a few weeks ago.” Turning back, he took her hand in his good one and pulled her closer still.
Greedily, she drew in his scent, his sound, his energy. She never wanted to let him go, but she couldn’t hang on. Tears burned her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. There would be time enough for that later, when she was alone.
The paramedic finally finished what he was doing and moved away. When they were finally alone—as alone as they could be in the crowd—Jackson lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed her palm gently. “Don’t you mean ‘all of us’?”
“I’m going to be okay. I know that now. I may always need help decompressing when the cases are tough, but—”
He touched her lips lightly with his fingertips. “Lucy. Honey. You still don’t understand. I’m not going back to a life without you unless you force me to. I love you. I don’t ever want to be without you.”
Surely she hadn’t heard right. “But what about…?”
“The ranch? We’re selling it. Wiley? He’s ready to move to Houston. My career?” He broke off with a laugh and kissed the tip of her nose. “I don’t have that worked out yet, but you can rest assured I won’t sit around doing nothing.”
“But—”
“You don’t want me?”
Joy bubbled up in her chest, but she still wasn’t sure this was real. “Don’t want you? Are you kidding? I never want to be without you again, but—”
“But nothing.” He moved closer and slid both arms around her waist. “I love you, Lucy. I love you. It’s as plain and simple as that. I know this isn’t the most romantic location. I could do better if I had a chance to get some flowers, a little wine… But I can’t wait. I don’t have anything to offer you. I won’t have a home for very much longer. Won’t have a job, either. But there’s a future out there for us somewhere, and you’d make me the happiest man on earth if you’d agree to be my wife and find it with me.”
The tears she’d worked so hard to hold back filled her eyes and spilled onto her cheeks. For the first time in a long time, her life felt whole, and complete, filled with the people she loved and full of possibilities. She slid her arms around his neck and kissed him, drawing on his strength and giving him everything she had to give. “Oh, Jackson,” she sighed when she finally pulled away. “There isn’t anything I want more.”
Epilogue
THREE WEEKS LATER, Lucy pushed open the patio door with one hip and carried a bowl filled with her mother’s potato salad toward the table, already crowded with more food than they could eat in three days. Across the lawn, Wiley sat in the shade and told stories about the ranch from a folding lawn chair. Angelina, Hank and Lucy’s dad all listened intently, to Wiley’s delight. Even Jackson and Rush, who’d surely heard every story at least a hundred times before, seemed interested.
Wiley was a sweet old guy, exactly as Jackson had described him, and the affection between Jackson and his grandfather was obvious. In fact, they brought tears to her eyes almost as often as they made her laugh.
The gentle breeze cradled the mouthwatering scents of beef and her dad’s homemade barbecue sauce across the lawn, and laughter sang out as Wiley reached the end of another story. She could hear soft voices coming through the kitchen window as her mother, Patrice and Annette put the finishing touches on the food, and contentment enfolded her.
She was here with the man she loved, surrounded by the people she loved and who loved her. Only Jackson’s mother and Lloyd were missing, but they’d come from their honeymoon early and would be arriving soon.
Lucy’s sessions with Cecily had officially come to an end, and though she was thrilled to be starting over with a clean slate, she had to admit the sessions had been good for her. She hoped she’d never again suffer a loss like she had with Tomas, but if she did, she wouldn’t hesitate to phone Cecily. Without her help, Lucy might have struggled to move beyond the tragedy for years. Her parents might never completely understand her choice, but they’d gotten past their initial anger and they were trying hard to accept. And that was good enough.
As the laughter from Wiley’s latest tale died away, Angel, who’d been sitting on the grass near Jackson’s feet while Wiley entertained, noticed Lucy’s full arms and hurried to help.
“Why didn’t you tell me there was still more food to bring out?” she asked, nudging a bag of potato chips out of the way. “This is your engagement party. You’re not supposed to be working.”
Lucy settled the salad in the empty space and hugged Angel quickly. Being someone’s aunt-to-be was a new experience for her, but one she could quickly get used to. She’d held back for the first few days, afraid of seeming overly familiar. But it had quickly become apparent to everyone that Angel craved affection, and now Lucy dispensed hugs as easily as Jackson and Wiley, Patrice and Hank. Even her parents had gotten into the act, treating Angel as if she’d always been a member of the family.
“I’m not such a great cook,” Lucy said with a grin, “but I can carry things well. Besides, I’m too excited about being able to move back into my condo to sit still.”
Angel plucked a carrot from the relish tray. “Do I still get to sleep over sometime?”
“Are you kidding? I’d love to have you stay with me.”
“Can we have a girls’ night where we do each other’s hair and makeup and watch movies?’”
Lucy laughed. “Absolutely. But you’ll have to tell me what we need. I’ve never had a girls’ night before.”
“We’ll need everything,” Angel said with a grin. “But don’t worry. I can go with you to the store if you want.”
Her eagerness touched Lucy. Angel’s initial shyness around Jackson had disappeared within just a couple of days, and the exuberance for life that had been so much a part of her since then had infected everyone around her.
“I just might take you up on that offer,” Lucy said.
Sobering, Angel squinted into the sun. “Did you go to my dad’s hearing today?”
“Yes I did.”
“Uncle Jackson says that my dad has to spend some time in jail. Is that because of me?”
Lucy sat on one of the picnic benches and patted the seat beside her. “Absolutely not, but it would have been better if you’d told your mom the truth about looking for him. Then she could have arranged some time for the two of you to become acquainted in a more structured way.”
“If I’d told her the truth, she wouldn’t have let me find him.”
That was probably true, but Lucy didn’t want to encourage an argument. “He’s going to jail because of things he did,”
she said, “not because of you. We’re all hoping that he’ll take advantage of rehab this time so the two of you can get to know each other better.”
Just then, she spotted her mother coming toward the door, arms loaded with a heavy tray. Behind her, Patrice carried a pitcher of iced tea and Annette brought up the rear, carrying a platter filled with low-carb snacks. The hearing forgotten, Angel dashed across the patio to open the door, basking in the smiles each of the women turned on her.
“She’s really something, isn’t she?” Jackson asked, straddling the seat behind Lucy and sliding his arms around her waist.
She leaned into him and nodded. “She’s full of life, that’s for sure. Were you able to get her room ready before you came over?”
“We put on the finishing touches just before we walked out the door. She seems happy with it, so I hope she’ll be okay staying with us while Patrice is gone.
“I think she’ll be more than fine,” Lucy assured him. “She’s lucky to have you and Wiley, and I think Hank will always be part of her life. It may not be what she was looking for when she started out, but I think she really is beginning to understand that she’s surrounded by love.”
“I hope so. I know just how she feels.”
With her heart full, Lucy looked at her soon-to-be husband and their combined families. “So do I,” she whispered. “So do I.”
Copyright © 2004 by Sherry Lewis.
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