by Lia London
“Good idea.” Milo let his head flop back, resuming his nap pose. “Wake me when we lose.”
“I hope everyone can hear me because I’m reading this spiel only once.” Parker glanced at something on her clipboard before booming out her announcement. “First of all, you are all about to be privy to a little tidbit we kept from the first round of TV publicity. We didn’t release this information because we wanted to minimize the number of complete freaks that showed up to try out.” She gave a skeptical frown at the throng. “I guess we were marginally successful on that.”
Some chuckled, some balked, but all stopped silent when she turned a harsh glare on them.
“Here’s the deal. Every round of winners from now on up wins ten thousand dollars. Each tier you survive is another 10K.”
The room filled with gasps and squeals, and Jill’s legs jiggled up and down as if she were running in place while sitting. Beside her, Milo snoozed on.
“So here are the winners for Team Northwest—the three ladies and three gentlemen who will represent this region in the first televised rounds. I’m running the show. I wanted some diversity of styles and faces so we can shake things up. The judges and I have conferred and the following people will advance.”
Jill grabbed Milo’s hand and squeezed it, holding her breath.
“For the love of peanut butter, don’t throw a fit if I mispronounce your name. Ladies, your winners are Amaya Jefferson, Chieko Makiguchi, and Jill Ripley.”
A scream of joy erupted from Jill that eclipsed the light applause and rumble of disappointment. She threw her hands in the air, dragging Milo up and awake.
“What just happened?”
“I made it! I made it! I made it!” Jill jumped to her feet and bounded in Tigger-ish circles.
Parker whistled again. “Settle down.”
“This is it! This is it! Oh my gosh! I’m going to be on TV!” Winded, exhilarated, and dizzy, Jill dropped to her knees in front of Milo. “Can you believe it?” She gulped for air. “You’re going to get to see me on TV! Will you record every episode?”
“Do I have to get out my air horn?” shouted Parker through the megaphone.
Jill jerked to face Parker, sitting on Milo’s feet and “zipping” her lips shut. She unzipped them again to shout, “Thank you!” and blew a kiss.
Parker gave an exaggerated sigh. “Love the enthusiasm. Just save it for after you leave the building. I’ve got stuff to do. Okay, men, you ready?”
The men in the room mumbled their assent.
“Representing Team Northwest of Who Wants to Be a Soap Star? will be Crawford Andrews, Milo Halsey, and Antonio Seneca.” Parker dismounted the table. “Congratulations to the winners. I need the six of you up here for some paperwork. Will the rest of you please recycle your water bottles on the way out?”
Jill turned, leaning her elbows on Milo’s lap and gaping up at him. “Milo, when I asked you to come with me, I didn’t think we’d go all the way!”
His ashen face flushed pink, and he burst out laughing.
Retracing her words, Jill rolled her eyes. “Oh brother. You are so middle school!” She pushed herself to her feet, using his knees for leverage.
He stood up, his body pinned close to hers by the seat behind. “You said it, not me. I think it’s a great idea.”
His goofy grin made Jill chuckle. Linking her arm in his, she marched towards Parker. “C’mon, Romeo. Let’s see how far we can go!”
Scene 4: The Romeo Moves
“Time to call my parents.” Jill’s face held a familiar mixture of hope and apprehension.
Milo gripped the wheel and tried to focus on getting through pre-rush-hour traffic even as he braced himself for the rollercoaster of emotions that Jill would surely experience in the upcoming minutes.
“Hi Mom! You’ll never guess what just happened!” The bubbles in Jill’s voice had a shrill edge. “You’re going to be so proud!” She proceeded to give a blow-by-blow account of the whole audition process, building with dramatic pacing to the grand finale when she delivered the news. “I’m going to be on TV! Can you believe it? And I have the chance to win ten thousand dollars!”
Milo could hear both her parents’ voices cheering through the phone and felt a rush of relief that they’d responded favorably.
Jill gave him a giddy smile, tears in her eyes. “Do you think you can make it to the first taping? It’s next week, and they need a live studio audience to—”
And just like that, their excuses cut the light in her eyes. Jill visibly deflated, and it was all Milo could do to keep his hands on the steering wheel instead of taking her into his arms to comfort her.
“No, yeah. I understand.” She chewed her lip. “It’s just that there’s no guarantee I’ll make it past that first shoot, so I thought …”
Whatever she thought wasn’t enough. Her dad’s voice came through, just muffled enough that Milo couldn’t hear his words, but he could guess from her responses.
“Oh, um. They didn’t say … I just need to be available through the summer.” She grunted affirmatively, pinching her nose in the way she always did to stop it from dripping. “Yes. Yes, of course. That makes sense.” Her face reddened. “Well, I just had to share. Talk to you later.” She disconnected the call and stared at the phone in her lap.
“Bad?”
She shrugged and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “Oh, you know. They’ve got a business trip planned and clients and stuff.” She let out a shuddering sigh and stuffed her phone in her purse.
“They sounded happy for you.”
“Yeah. Especially about the potential prize money.” She turned watery eyes to Milo. “I guess I should be more pumped about that, huh? That’s a lot of money!”
“What’d they say?”
Jill affected an imitation of her father’s voice. “That’s good, Sweet Pea. If you win, you can pay off your credit cards and put a little money aside for something important. This is your chance to gain some independence from us.”
“Independence.”
“Code for ‘You can jolly well pay your own way through life now.’”
While a part of Milo recognized that Jill really did need to grow up and fend for herself in the world, he also knew that wasn’t what was bothering Jill. She needed her parents to value her, not her financial status. Switching lanes, he made a snap decision. “Mind if we take a detour? I think I want to tell my parents in person.”
Jill perked up. “Really?”
“Don’t you want to see my dad’s face when I tell him I’m going to be on a reality show?”
A grin pried her mouth open, and her sniffles turned to a gentle laugh. “You’re right. I’ll see if I can’t catch it on camera.”
“I have to stop for gas, so I’ll call and let them know we’re coming.”
A few minutes later, Milo stepped out of earshot from Jill with his phone and said the words he knew would get a celebration dinner started. “Hey Mom, Jill and I have a really important announcement to make. Any chance we can stop by in about half an hour?”
Mabel Halsey greeted them at the door with a smile so wide that Jill stopped in her tracks.
“Did you already tell her?” Jill asked out of the side of her mouth.
Before Milo could answer, Mabel squeezed Jill’s cheeks with lavender-lotioned hands. “Oh honey, it’s so good to see you! My, aren’t you extra beautiful today in that sassy little number?”
A second later, Mendel’s big bear hug enveloped Mabel and Jill. “Come on in. The celebration feast is almost ready!”
Jill glared at Milo and mouthed the words, You told them!
He shook his head and laughed. “You know Mom has entire meals prepared and stored out in the garage freezer. She can feed an army with a half-hour’s notice.”
Mabel bellowed a laugh. “I brought out the good stuff today.”
Mendel winked. “A Scout is always prepared.”
“Are you still Scout-mastering?” J
ill knew the answer, and she knew he’d fill them in on details she didn’t need to remember while she just soaked up the ambience of home.
Milo sidled up next to Jill and tugged her pinky with his thumb like he always had. “Get the camera ready,” he whispered.
“So!” Mendel clapped once and beamed with enthusiasm. “You two have an announcement for us?” He cast a knowing glance at Mabel.
Jill’s mouth fell open as she realized what ploy Milo had used to get them so eager. Part of her wanted to laugh, and the other part felt bad for the disappointment Mabel would feel when she found out no big white dresses and fancy cakes loomed in her near future. As the youngest of her four sons, only Milo remained single.
“Look at you two, all grown up,” Mabel crowed. “I remember all those years of you playing together. You practically lived over here in the backyard pool.”
Milo snickered. “For two months of the year. Then foos ball and air hockey in the game room for the other ten.”
Mabel clucked her tongue and took Mendel’s hand.
Jill poked Milo’s rib in his tickle spot. Leaning close to his ear, she scolded, “How could you do this to her?”
“Relax.”
“What is it?” Mabel’s right knee jiggled back and forth.
“Well, you know how Jill is always pulling me out of my comfort zone and making me try new things.”
Mendel and Mabel both responded with an elongated, “Ye-es?”
“And you know how I can never seem to say no to her?”
Mendel slapped his forehead. “Dear heaven, Milo, did you make her propose to you?”
Jill doubled over laughing. “No, no. Nothing like that! This is really exciting.” She nudged Milo. “Hurry up and tell them before they explode.”
Milo gave her an injured pout and then drew to his full height. “Well, this weekend, we tried out for Who Wants to Be a Soap Star? It’s a new reality show with regional teams, and both of us made the cut. We’re going to be on TV!”
“You what?!” Mendel convulsed with amused shock.
Mabel’s face revealed the inner grappling with disappointment, but she grabbed Jill in a tight embrace. “Oh Jill, I’m so excited for you! You’re going to do great. Won’t she, Mendel? Our little Jill is so beautiful!”
“Milo, too!” Jill chimed. “He’s on the show, too. How cool is that?”
“It’s crazy!” Mendel ran both hands through his sparse hair. “Our boy, famous. Are they going to pay you well?”
“Mendel … ever the pragmatic one.” Mabel shook her head. “Don’t ruin it for them, dear.”
“You get ten thousand for every round you survive, so I imagine I won’t be going to the bank much.” Milo put his hand on Jill’s shoulder. “But she’ll go far, don’t you think?”
“You bet she will!” Mabel tucked an arm around Jill’s waist. “I’ve seen you in shows since middle school, and you’ve always been the prettiest one.”
“Thanks, Mabel. I’m so glad Milo came with me.” She followed Mabel into the kitchen.
“Now son,” said Mendel, holding Milo back gently. He lowered his voice, catching Jill’s attention. She strained to listen. “This is great news. If Jill goes on and makes it big, maybe you’ll consider taking that scholarship OSU offered you. Not everyone is recruited for grad programs before he’s even finished his junior year.” He slapped Milo’s back paternally. “Think about it, anyway. I mean, since Jill won’t need you there at Western anymore.”
Mendel’s words gave Jill some serious morsels to digest while she feasted on Mabel’s glorious dinner. One, Mendel really thought she’d make it big. Two, Milo had never told her about any scholarship offer he’d gotten to OSU. And three, he’d turned it down to stay at Western with her.
For the rest of the weekend, Milo tried every way possible to wake himself up from the bizarre dream in which he and Jill were going to be on a reality show. Nothing worked. Pinches bruised his arm, Tabasco sauce burned his tongue, and screaming “Booglie booglie baaaaah!!” just surprised the other joggers on the track. Nothing snapped him back into his normal, stable life.
Come Monday, he sat through his Advanced Chemistry final figuring out enthalpy diagrams and assessing the possible outcomes of the whole fiasco:
1) Jill would win in the regional team and move on to nationals, launching her into some degree of stardom. He’d be left behind to worship from afar and cringe at whatever the tabloids did to her. She’d get married and divorced six times to celebrities, and he’d adopt a shelter cat.
2) Jill would come super close to winning, but something awful would happen at the last minute. She’d be devastated, her parents would continue in complacency, she’d quit school to travel around the world in search of excitement and fulfilment, and he’d adopt a shelter cat.
3) They’d both make colossal fools of themselves and be booted out after the first round. They’d commiserate over good Thai food, she’d wake up to the fact that he could bring her lasting happiness, and they’d get married in his parents’ back yard. They may or may not adopt a shelter cat.
Milo was beaming by the time he turned in his exam. Did I answer all the questions?
“Confident, are you?” asked Professor Higbottom.
“Not at all, but I can dream, right?”
She shrugged. “Until reality smacks you in the head. Have a good summer, Milo.”
Half-way across campus, Milo realized his professor was talking about the exam, not his long-term future with Jill. His short-term future with Jill involved the Acting final. With an inward groan, he pushed open the swinging doors to the black box theater in Rice Auditorium and tried to remember Romeo’s lines.
As he entered, the whole class stood up and cheered, slapped him on the back, punched him on the shoulder, and basically abused him with congratulations until he found himself facing Jill. “I take it you told them about—”
“I’m still so excited. I’ll probably flub my lines, so cover for me, okay?”
“All right, everybody.” Professor Wilson chortled through his nose. “It’s all very thrilling, but you have to perform your duo scenes today. Even TV stars take finals.”
Milo was pretty sure they didn’t, but since he had yet to prove himself onscreen, he resigned himself to the upcoming humiliation.
Professor Wilson handed out the peer evaluation forms and announced the order of scenes. Milo and Jill would be first.
Jill tapped his foot with her toe. “Why didn’t you dress up for the final? You think Romeo wears a t-shirt and jeans?”
Milo stared down at his clothes, aware of them for the first time all day. “Oh. Yeah, sorry.” She had on the pretty red dress with white dots. “You look perfect, Jilliet.”
Jill nudged him. “Remember your lines?”
He nodded. “No.”
She giggled. “Just pretend I’m Kamilah and give them an encore performance.”
They stepped forward and Jill announced the scene. Once in their places, automatic pilot took over and Milo’s mouth did what it needed to, saying all the lines while he just enjoyed the way Jill looked at him. She was just acting, but it worked.
Until she said, “Dear love, adieu!” That was where they’d blocked the kiss. The kiss they had never practiced. The kiss he had always hoped wouldn’t have an audience the first time it happened because … well, he’d be kissing Jill for the first time, not Juliet.
She looked at Milo, her lips curving up in the softest smile.
He leaned in and kissed her, tentatively at first, imagining just a brush of the lips for show. But Jill cupped his face in her hands and responded with more. A flood of electricity warmed him from his lips to his toes and then lifted him off the ground and sent him on a few loop-the-loops. Oh my … Is she kissing me back like that?! He sank into the feeling—the tenderest desire washing over him.
“Aaaand break! That’s enough, guys. The scene only needed to be five minutes long.”
Professor Wilson and the o
thers in the room laughed from a million miles away while Milo gazed at Jill. Her eyes shone. Did she know how much she’d just thrown him, or was she just glad the final project was over?
“Good job,” she whispered.
Milo grinned. “Thanks. Do I get an A?”
“Let’s find out.”
Milo turned to Professor Wilson for the feedback and tried to concentrate on all the critiques the classmates gave. Beside him, Jill nodded and smiled at their comments. No matter what grade they got on the scene, he gave the kiss an F—for Fantastic!
Scene 5: Meeting the Cast
The day after finals, Milo and Jill made the trip back up to Portland for the filming of round one. Parker and company were staging the whole operation in a huge high school on the far east side of the metro area.
“I wonder if there’s even a home base for this show or if they just unfold billionaire living rooms and yacht cabins from a box in the back of an SUV?” mused Jill, stepping into the air-conditioned lobby with relief. A hand-written sign taped to a metal chair read, Report to the auditorium first.
They entered the side door to the auditorium, and Jill wriggled her way through a row of seats to where classmates from the theater department had come to be in the “live audience” for the taping. Milo’s parents were due in the afternoon and had special permission to come late from Parker.
While Jill socialized, Milo studied Parker at work. She exuded smarts and organization, like she could see where all the pieces of a jig-saw puzzle went the first time she shook them out of the box. How did she get a job doing crowd control for a bunch of soap star wannabes?
“Do I have all six of my team yet?” called Parker.
Milo and Jill both responded, and he heard the other voices acknowledge Parker from throughout the room.
“Okay, great. Contestants out to the lobby! Now!” yelled Parker.
Since Milo was still standing by the door, he opted to hold it open for the others and watch them pass. Jill skipped by with a happy chirp, and then a swaggering, young, blonde man with a tight t-shirt and loose cargo shorts passed through with a smirk.