Will and I are becoming friends and that makes me happier than I would have expected. Will is smart and funny, and he’s a legitimately nice guy. He makes me feel at ease. I’m not concerned with impressing him…not that I could begin to have the first clue as to how to do that. Will isn’t at all like I thought he was going to be. He doesn’t act rich, and he’s been doing manual labor for Luke – a very unrich thing to do in my mind. I did to him what I accuse his class of people of doing to me: I judged him, and feel badly about that. I’m glad I’ve had a chance to see this side of him. Perhaps I won’t be so alone at Heyward after all.
I finished reading my book during my first week here, but still haven’t picked out anything new. I find myself sitting at the edge of the dock for hours at a time most days. I take in the beauty of the lake, breathe deeply, lie back on the dock, and close my eyes. In all my life I have never known a more peaceful place, geographically or mentally. I feel…alive…which makes me feel guilty. Didn’t I feel alive and at peace in Florida with Mom and Dad, or Gram and Gramps? No…well, yes and no. Living with Mom and Dad was truly living. Living with Gram and Gramps? I wasn’t meant to feel alive then. That was Gram’s point. Penance.
This is so different. This is the first time I’ve ever really thought about me. What am I feeling? What do I want? Mom and dad always supported any activity I wanted to participate in, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I flew wherever the wind blew them. Dad’s units on kinesthesia volleyed me into soccer, lacrosse, and tennis. Mom’s semester of Shakespeare and play adaptations led to my auditioning for every local play I could. I was never cast into anything – I was terrible, but mom joyfully helped me prepare and took me to each audition. If it was an election year, well…Dad and Mom were more passionate about politics than anyone I knew. They had strong opinions about everything and never hesitated to make them known. They rallied and joined campaigns to support both local and national candidates, and they were the first ones at the polls on voting day. Naturally, I ran for class president during the 2004 election. I lost to Amber Riley.
Reading, though…that was a shared activity that was genuinely mine. Mom always said that reading a book was far better than watching any movie. I loved going to the movies, but she was right. A book can tell you all the emotions and subtext that are so rarely aptly portrayed in film. You understand the nuances of each character. You breathe every breath with them and cry every tear. Yes, reading. That is something special that I shared with my mother, but something I owned totally and completely in my own heart.
Chapter 5
I’ve put it off long enough. It’s time to appease Claire and give her some girl time and go shopping. She has been so patient with me and seems to have really been looking forward to it. She was definitely disappointed when I shot her down the day after I arrived. She’s been so kind and generous to me in the time she’s given me to be alone. I don’t feel like I can deny her any longer and she is thrilled when I make the suggestion.
We make our way through the neighborhood and I finally see how beautiful it is. The streets are lined with maple trees, flowering bushes, and sidewalks. I hadn’t noticed how huge the neighborhood is when I first arrived. Since I’ve spent the last weeks being a hermit, this is my first real opportunity to see where I’ve been living. Each home is huge and completely different than the next. Some are brick, others wood. Whatever the materials are, it’s clear that they are all custom, made to order homes. There is nothing cookie-cutter about this neighborhood – nothing but, perhaps, the neighbors.
When we arrive at the shopping area I see a Borders bookstore, which I am eager to go in. There are also shops I‘ve never heard of. Either they are independently owned, or they are too expensive for my blood…or both. It’s July so the winter clothes aren’t out yet, but I promise Claire I’ll be a good sport.
We both try on clothes, which actually turns out to be kind of fun. Claire looks good in anything that she puts on, of course. I stick with shorts and skirts since everything is always too long on me. Claire offers to have anything shortened, but I don’t want to be an inconvenience. Gram always shortened my pants for me, so all the pants I have are already exactly the right length. We shop a little more and I settle on a two tops and a skirt. I stopped looking at price tags after the fiftieth time Claire told me to not worry. “I’ve never had a sister…or a teenage daughter. Let me have my fun, ok?” she’d say.
I don’t really need new clothes right now, but I’m grateful. Not for the clothes necessarily, but for the time she’s given me to be alone these last weeks, and for the time she’s giving me now. This month has brought a lot of reflection on the things I had given up over the last five years. I didn’t look at it like a sacrifice at the time because it was what I had to do. I spent the majority of my time with my grandparents so I didn’t do shopping or movie outings with my friends. Maybe shopping was my thing and I just didn’t know it. At any rate, I’m allowing myself to enjoy being with Claire.
We grab a late lunch at another place I’ve never heard of. I get a salad with chicken, cranberries, and Gorgonzola cheese. I feel so exotic.
“How’s your salad?” Claire asks. She’s staring at me as I lift the fork to my mouth, excited to hear my answer.
“It’s good. I didn’t know I liked Gorgonzola.” How could I know that I liked it? Gram never bought it, so I didn’t either. The extent of eating out with Gram and Gramps was limited to the early bird dinner at Denny’s on the occasional Sunday. “How’s yours?” I look at her salad and think I recognize some nuts and berries in hers, too.
“Delicious! I get the same thing every time I come here. I really should try something else, but it’s just so good! Do you want a bite?”
“Oh, no, but thanks,” I pause to take a sip of my Diet Coke. “Do you mind if we go into Borders before we go home? I just want to look around for a little bit.”
“Sure! I could spend hours in a bookstore. How do you think we ended up with so many books in the loft? Luke gives me a hard time because I bring books home and never get around to reading them.” She chuckles like it’s become an inside joke between the two of them, something I’m sure he now considers cute and quirky about her.
We finish lunch, talk about the clothes we bought, and debate if we should go back so Claire can get one of the tops she put back. It’s almost three o’clock and we both want to go to Borders, so she decides the top can wait until another trip and we head to the bookstore.
There’s something about a bookstore that is so calming. It’s a place where I feel like I belong, like everyone there is part of a special family or fraternity that other people don’t understand. Avid readers are a breed of their own, and we’re often accused of being heady. I don’t care. I love books and can devour one in a whole day if I’m allowed.
Claire and I split up and saunter each in our own direction. The store is laid out well with signs hanging above each section indicating the genre or subject matter for that area. I make my way to the fiction section. I always prefer fiction. Anything else feels like homework.
The first aisle I pick at random is filled with trashy harlequin novels. The covers always make me laugh out loud. As I reach the end of the aisle I turn right to make a U-turn down the next row, but I cut the turn too close and bump into the end-cap, which sends me stumbling headlong toward a table of books displaying celebrity autobiographies. Instead of crashing into the table I’m caught by two strong arms. I get my bearings and look up to see that I’m being cradled in Will’s arms.
“Are you ok?” he asks in his same smooth, unfaltering voice.
“Yeah…thanks…sorry. I guess I wasn’t watching where I was going,” I say, staggering my words and my body into an upright position most ungracefully.
He notices the books in the aisle I’ve just left, gestures to them and asks, “Find anything interesting?”
I’m mortified but do my best to recover. “I visit this aisle for a good laugh. I mean
…seriously?” I pick up one of the trashy novels, “Who looks like this?”
We both laugh and Will gives his best smoldering look and puffs his chest out. I’m taken aback. If this is his fake smoldering look, I can’t imagine any girl not being putty in his hands with his real one. His eyes are the prettiest blue I have ever seen, and when he puffs his chest out I can see how fit he is. I wonder if he’s an athlete or if Luke has him on retainer for manual labor that keeps him in shape. He’s tall and towers over me, like everyone else. I can’t take my eyes off his bronzed face. His cheekbones and jaw line are in perfect harmony. He is so obviously handsome.
“So…you decided to leave the compound, eh?” he says.
“Yeah, Claire wanted to go shopping, so I let her drag me out. We just had lunch and were hitting this place before we went home.” I have to make myself look away a couple of times. I’ve been staring at him and do not want to be that girl. I’m sure he’s got plenty of girls after him and the adoring gaze probably gets old. Besides, I am not an option in Will Meyer’s world so why torture myself.
“Oh, cool. Well...I’m meeting some friends for a movie and then a late dinner. This would be a great chance for you to meet them. Do…you…want to come?” He hesitates over the last part. I wonder if he’s just being polite, but he didn’t have to say anything to me in the first place, so maybe he really wants me to come. “What d’ya say?”
Claire approaches us before I have a chance to reply. “Hey Will! What d’ya say to what?”
“Will’s meeting some friends for a movie and dinner, and asked if I wanted to go with them. Is it ok if I go? I don’t have to. I mean…they weren’t planning on me being there, so I don’t want to impose.” I’m rambling, but I want to give him an out if he needs one.
“You’re not imposing, Layla. I invited you. I want you to come.” He says my name and I lose focus for a split second. “Mrs. Weston, I can drive her home, if it’s ok with you that she comes.” Charming…yet again.
“I think that’s a great idea. It’ll give you a chance to make some more friends before school starts, Layla.” With that, Claire takes out $50 in cash from her wallet and insists I take it. I tell her it’s too much, but there’s no arguing. I’ve never even seen a $50 bill in person. “Find any books you’d like to get? I found three that I’m sure will be added to the ‘I’ll get around to it one day’ shelf. Luke will be so pleased!” she giggles.
“Thanks,” I say as I put the cash in my back pocket. “I didn’t find anything.”
Will says the movie is starting soon so I thank Claire for the money, shopping, and lunch, and promise not to be home too late. There’s a theater in this shopping center, too. Will and I walk the five minutes from the bookstore.
“How was your first adventure away from home?” he asks, holding the door for me as we exit the store.
“Um…it was fine. Shopping, lunch, girl stuff. What movie are we seeing?” I ask changing the subject from me.
“I think it’s some parody movie. It should be stupid enough. Is that ok?”
“Yeah, that’s perfect actually.” I could use something I don’t have to get emotionally involved in. My emotions are on enough of a roller coaster as it is being around Will right now. “How’s the project going with Luke? Making any headway? He won’t let me look down there, so don’t give me any details of the project.”
“It’s going pretty well. He has a lot he wants to do, so it’s going to take a while. Guess that means I’ll be in your way for a while.” He smiles at me for what seems like eternity and I feel my heart in my throat. Why does he look at me that way? I’m sure he’d stop if he knew the effect he was having.
“Guess so,” I chuckle awkwardly. There is no way Will Meyer could ever be in my way.
“Can I ask you something?” he asks.
“Sure.” I can feel his eyes on me but don’t turn my head to meet his gaze. Walking and talking with Will takes a heightened measure of concentration.
“Mr. and Mrs. Weston, they’re your uncle and aunt, right?”
“Yes…that’s right.”
“So…um…why do you call them Luke and Claire?” He’s certain to have picked up on this considering the amount of time he’s at the house. His question leads me to believe he thinks I’m being rude, which I can’t stand.
“Hmmm…well…” I’m not sure how to explain the rift that had been the only relationship I knew between the adults in my family, which led to the estrangement of my uncle and aunt.
“I know you didn’t really know them until you came here, but, they’re still your family,” he qualifies. There’s a conviction in his voice that confirms my suspicion that he thinks I’ve been rude to Luke and Claire. There’s no way to explain without opening myself up to him. I don’t think I can do that. I don’t think he really wants me to open up either. He’s probably just correcting me so my etiquette will be more appropriate for my new surroundings. I have heard that people in the South place a higher level of importance on proper etiquette.
“It’s complicated,” is my best first answer.
“I’m sorry,” he says, turning his head. I can’t tell if he thinks he’s been intrusive or is giving up.
“It’s ok…really.” I want to be able to tell him, to form the words, but I don’t even know myself. The more time I spend with Luke and Claire the more I’m utterly confused as to why my parents didn’t have a relationship with them. It makes me wonder what they would think about me living with them now.
I don’t say anything else about it and Will doesn’t ask.
We arrive at the theater and get our tickets. We’re the first ones there, which makes me glad. Standing there with Will makes me feel like his friends are joining us somehow and I don’t feel like a complete outsider.
We’re settled into our waiting for just a few minutes when I see Will’s friends from the Village Green concert approaching. They meet us and the introductions begin.
Chapter 6
I am immediately and uncomfortably aware that we are equally paired off, three boys and three girls. Will smiles at me, but then I think he must notice my discomfort and his smile fades. He turns his attention back to his friends awkwardly.
Oh, god. What if Will thinks I think this is a date?
I have a fleeting thought of trying to telepathically tell Will I have not made that presumption; to tell him that logically I know that if he hadn’t run into me in the bookstore it would have been the five of them, and there’s no way that was any kind of date. Even more logically that I know there’s no way on God’s green Earth that Will Meyer would ever be interested in me like that.
It doesn’t appear that the other two couples are really couples either – no hand holding, no closer than necessary proximity – so I’m feeling a bit more at ease. Yes. As the banter and introductions begin it’s clear that no one here is anyone’s boy- or girlfriend. You’re being ridiculous, I tell myself. Since when do you even pay attention to things like that? The tension in my body releases and Will’s smile is back. Maybe I am telepathic.
What I am not at ease about is the fact that I am wearing a plain white t-shirt, denim shorts, and sandals, and have my hair in its usual ponytail. The four who are now standing in front of me are perfectly put together from head to toe. All I can think is that I’m totally and completely out of place. I am, once again, utterly plain.
Caroline introduces herself first. Her hair is cut short like a pixie, but slicked to the side with a decorative bobby pin. She is absolutely and undeniably adorable.
“I’m Caroline, and this is Gwen. It’s so great to meet you!” she says giving me a hug. The embrace catches me off guard, but I reciprocate out of not wanting to be rude. It’s quick, but…nice. As she releases me her eyes catch mine. They are stunningly bright green.
“So, you’re Layla. It’s great to meet you. Will has told us all about you!” Gwen is so…perky, but not in a dumb kind of way, which is good because she is a knock out: blonde hai
r, blue eyes and all.
Wait. Did she just say that Will told them about me? What could he possibly tell them?
I’m lost in the thought for a moment and stumble my way back into the conversation. “Um…it’s really nice to meet you, too. Thanks for letting me intrude on your movie night.”
Caroline cheers, “Oh my gosh! You’re not intruding! We’re just glad we’re getting to meet you before school starts. Will went on about how great you are, so we’ve been dying to meet you!”
“Well, I don’t know how great I am. Will doesn’t know me very well yet, so, we’ll see.” I say trying to downplay whatever he’s told them. My head is going through the catalog of conversations I’ve had with Will, the various, and generic, chats we’ve had around the kitchen table with Claire, discarding anything that I know is not interesting enough to pass along to anyone. By the time I’m finished I still have no idea.
Chris and Tyler take a breather from their conversation with Will and introduce themselves to me. They are both very good-looking. Chris’ short, blonde hair reminds me of Justin Timberlake back in the day. Both he and Tyler are built like Will: strong and fit.
“Nice to finally meet you,” Chris says. Finally? So Will has talked about me to Chris and Tyler, too. Why? Then it occurs to me and the tension that was making an encore performance begins to release. Luke probably asked him to introduce me to some people and make sure I didn’t have to sit alone at lunch when school starts. Will and I are becoming friends, and he’s a genuinely nice guy, so of course he wouldn’t refuse. It makes perfect sense. I can stop wracking my brain now and enjoy the rest of the evening.
“Well…it’s really nice to meet all of you. I’ll have to find out what Will’s been telling you so I can dispel any myths,” I say with a small laugh.
“Ok, ok, you guys! Let’s get inside and find a good seat before we have to sit in the front row.” Will says ushering us all in.
The Lake Page 5