by Lisa Oliver
“You’re teasing me about something like this?” Karl put his hand on his chest, trying to calm his heart.
“No, no. I’m so sorry, darling, but honestly, you are so easy to tease.” Serena’s chuckles dwindled to a quiet giggle. “I am pregnant, but it’s definitely not yours. You were always very responsible about birth control, something I’ve always appreciated, especially now.”
Me too. Karl’s heart rate returned to normal. “How do you feel about it? Is the father…? Will the father…?”
“My wonderful Jorge is ecstatic, darling, over the moon. He can’t wait to make an honest woman out of me.” Serena waved her left hand under Karl’s face. “You didn’t even notice. I told Jorge it needed to be bigger.”
Karl took the hand, kissing the solid diamond gracing Serena’s long fingers, before releasing it. “I’m very happy for you. I’m sure you and Jorge will have a wonderful life together.”
“Aww, that smile hides a broken heart, doesn’t it darling?” Serena’s lips turned down. “I am sorry, too. But Jorge, he’s waited four long years for me, never tried to tie me down. He always knew about you, and any others that came before, but now…”
“Now you have a wedding to plan and a house to buy, because I’m not sure Jorge’s yacht is an ideal place to bring up a baby.”
Karl leaned back in his chair as the waiter arrived with their plates. He had met Jorge, at an event Serena took him to one time while she was in town. Another businessman, the two men had plenty to talk about and thinking back, Karl realized Serena had a good excuse for her headache that night. “So, tell me about your plans.”
“Only for as long as it takes me to eat this delicious salad,” Serena pointed her fork at him. “You have to get back to the office and hunt out that little black book of yours, so you have some sexy company over the weekend.”
“I was going to have to beg off anyway,” Karl looked up and shrugged/smiled. “Work.”
“Oh, you men and your work,” Serena waved her fork in the air. “Tell me, was the launch a success? Only Jorge was thinking of investing, but I told him to hold off, you know, until after…”
“It went brilliantly. I have an excellent team working for me.” And somehow, talking business over lunch Karl managed to forget for all of two minutes about Tanner and his ailing aunt. But as he put Serena into a cab, and went to find his car, Karl found himself wishing he could be sitting by an old lady’s bedside, offering strength and comfort to a hulk of an omega who would be seriously needing support real soon.
It would help if I knew where to find him. Karl’s wolf was keen on hunting the man down, but as Karl drove back to the office, he thought about why he was so torn about the decision to find Tanner. Being an alpha wolf, he couldn’t ignore the plight the omega was going through. He had a responsibility to ensure Tanner was all right. But Karl was longing for and dreading seeing the man again. He knew if he did, his wolf’s instincts would be to claim the omega, and then… and then… I’d be bound to a man for the rest of our natural lives. What would that even look like?
Chapter Eight
“How are you holding up?” Toby asked quietly as Tanner let him into his aunt’s apartment. “Has there been any change since your aunt had that turn?”
Tanner shook his head. “The doctor’s been keeping her heavily sedated. From what he can guess, the cancer’s pressing against a functional lobe in her brain somewhere. She’s riddled with it, so he can’t be too sure where exactly, but she’s not eating, she can’t keep anything down. We’ve just got to wait.”
“And that’s why I’m here, to keep you company while we wait.” Toby wandered through to the kitchen. “I’ll put coffee on. You go and see if she’s up to visitors. I know when my gran went through this, she told my mom the hardest thing was facing visitors when she didn’t look her best. I don’t want to cause your aunt any further distress if I can help it.”
All Tanner could do was nod as he made his way down the short hallway to his aunt’s room. It’d been like that all week. True to his word, Captain Peters arranged the work rosters so that Tanner had visitors every afternoon and evening.
Aunt Julie had been sitting on the couch on Wednesday, chuckling at the story Toby was telling, when her face started twitching and she fell on her side, her whole body convulsing. The doctor came, Tanner was given the option of her going to hospital, but Aunt Julie had already made her wishes known about that, and he refused. Now his days were spent between pacing the hallway to answer the door to his friends, her friends, and medical personnel, and sitting by her bedside and holding her hand.
Mrs. Appleby, Mabel as she now insisted on being called, was sitting by her friend’s bedside, reading quietly from a magazine. She looked up as Tanner poked his head around the door. “Toby’s here,” he said softly, glancing at his aunt who was lying so still, her eyes closed as they had been for most of the time since her turn. “He wondered if it was okay to visit.”
“It won’t do much good, dearie.” Mabel looked at her friend and smiled sadly. “If I know my Julie, she’s out in the ether somewhere, yelling for her Alfie to get his skates on to come and get her. I’m only reading to her because I hope on some level, she knows she’s not alone.”
“I could do that.” Tanner stepped into the room. “You must be getting tired. If you want to go home…”
“I’m fine here.” Mabel patted the chair she was sitting on. “But you need to take a break – go out and have something to eat with Toby. Bring me a cup of tea, and I’ll wait here until you get back.”
“I don’t want to leave.” Crossing the small room, Tanner knelt down, picking up his aunt’s hand. It was chilled and Tanner could barely feel her life energies. “I need to be with her when she… when she…” The lump in his throat returned.
“She won’t leave without saying goodbye,” Mabel said quietly. “And she’d be the first to tell you that you need to go out for an hour, get some fresh air. You’ve been stuck in this apartment for a week, so get on. Go. It’s Saturday night. The least you can do is get some takeout. You can tell that young Toby he can pop his head in when you get back. And while you’re out you can find me some ginger biscuits. I’ll finish up the last of them with the cup of tea you’re making for me now.”
Knowing when he was beat, Tanner stood up, leaning over to kiss his aunt’s forehead. “Be back soon,” he whispered, before leaving the room. Toby was just coming up the hallway, holding a cup.
“Mabel’s tea,” he grinned. “I knew she’d be asking for one.”
Taking the cup, Tanner smiled his thanks. “Aunty’s still not awake, so I’ll just take that in. Mabel suggested we go out for a quick meal if you’re up for it. She said you could pop in for a minute when we get back.”
“That Mabel is a wise woman. You could do with some fresh air.” Toby nodded. “I’ll wait by the door.”
It felt strange walking along the streets after a week in the apartment. Tanner had a nagging sense, that thought he was missing something important, but he did his best to keep Toby company. The man was giving up his social life after all. Sitting in the local bar while they were waiting for their food, he made a point of asking about everyone they worked with and how their various cases were going.
But it was tough showing an interest. Tanner’s decision to leave the department hadn’t been made on a whim, and when he made it, it was final in his head. Peters might have thought he was giving Tanner a break by offering him leave instead, but Tanner was operating with a foot out the door already.
Toby proved why he made a good detective. “Why do I get the impression you’re not coming back to work after this?”
Tanner chuckled although there was little humor in it. “I thought I’d kept it better hidden than that.” He glanced around but no one was paying attention to them. The bar was quiet for a Saturday, but then it was still early. There were a group of youngsters over by the pool table, and a couple who were enjoying their dinner and checking
their phones in between bites.
“I’ve been struggling a bit with the job we do.” Tanner let out a long breath. “It’s nothing to do with anyone we work with – I couldn’t have asked to work with a better bunch of people, and you’re the best partner I’ve ever had. It’s the job itself. I’ve been in ten years. It doesn’t get any easier. The perps get younger… their crimes get worse. What they’re doing to themselves... It’s such a waste of their lives. It breaks my heart every day.”
“I’ve always known there’s a soft heart under that rugged exterior.” Toby lightly punched his arm. “It’s not going to be the same without you though. You’ve pulled my ass out of the fire more than once.”
“I just don’t think I have the temperament to keep going,” Tanner admitted. “You know, Aunt Julie was my rock, my support person. I’d go home after a shitty day and she’d be waiting up for me with freshly made scones and a cup of tea. When I worked night shifts, she’d always leave me something on the doorstep.”
He looked up, meeting Toby’s eyes squarely. “I go home after a shift and cry, nearly every time. I’m not ashamed to admit it. Seeing the same faces circle around and around and around. I just can’t do it anymore.”
“Sounds like this shit with your aunt has brought it all to a head for you.” Toby nodded, patting his arm this time. “Have you thought about… I know you’re gay, but have you thought about dating a bit, and getting the support you need from a significant other?”
“Are you going to give me dating tips now?” Tanner shook his head with a grin. “Mr. Thrice Married and Looking for Wife Number Four?”
“Hey, I resemble that remark.” Toby chuckled. “Nah, I hear what you’re saying. It is a shit job. I can’t say I cry about the cases we deal with every day, but I’ve been known to hit the bottle a time or two. We pat ourselves on the back when we crash a drug deal or pull some dealer in, but there’s always going to be someone around the next corner dealing the same shit in a different shirt, and people queuing up for it. I try and look at it as a form of job security.”
“With three ex-wives you need the job security.” Tanner got off his stool as he heard his name called. “There’s something to be said for not dating.” He headed for the bar.
“Yeah, it’s called callouses on my right hand,” Toby called out. “You’ve probably got them on both hands.”
Tanner flicked his friend off and reached for the takeout bags. Callouses could be softened with lotion – a hole where his heart used to be was a harder issue to cure. His phone rang as he and Toby left the bar. Aunt Julie was awake.
/~/~/~/~/
“I have had such a wonderful life.” Aunt Julie smiled sweetly. “There’s not many people who are dying and who can say that.”
It was gone midnight. Mabel and Toby had left a few hours before. Tanner had left the soft bedside light on, but the rest of the apartment was in darkness. Squatting in a low chair, his elbows on the side of the bed, Tanner liked to think in that moment they were the only two people in the whole world.
“You’ve made a huge difference to the people around you too,” Tanner agreed quietly. “Your smile, your joy at everything around you – it’s quite infectious, you know.”
“And my baking.” Aunt Julie giggled. “There has been a lot of people who’ve loved my baking over the years. My Alfie used to come home some nights and say, ‘I need another batch of muffins, Juls’. One of his colleagues would be having a hard time and that was Alfie’s answer to everything – my muffins.”
“Those muffins have been the highlight of my day more than once. Maybe your Alfie should’ve gone into politics. He could’ve achieved world peace with a few trays of your baking.”
“He never had time for politicians,” Aunt Julie said fondly. “He was a family man. It broke his heart when we found out we wouldn’t have any children of our own, but he never wavered in his support for me. He stood by me, all the years we tried, and when we finally gave up, I remember him holding me close while I cried, telling me how precious I was.”
“Alfie was one in a million - your soul mate.” Tanner looked down at his aunt’s hand that he was holding. So thin, so pale, and yet they’d done so much.
“And it would’ve been my dearest wish to see you with a soul mate too, but you won’t give up hope, will you?” Aunt Julie coughed and Tanner immediately reached for her water, holding the glass while she sipped from a straw.
“Your coming into our lives was a blessing for me, Tanner Corban,” Aunt Julie said as Tanner put the glass back on the bedside cabinet. Her voice was getting weaker, and her eyes were shining with tears. “I’m not sad that it’s my time. I’ve lived a long and full and happy life, but every day has been a struggle since Alfie went. You’ve been the one who’s made my life bearable and I’m only sorry I’m leaving you. You’re the closest thing to a son I’ve ever had. I don’t want you to be alone.”
It was on the tip of Tanner’s tongue to tell her about being a wolf shifter and fated mates. But now wasn’t the time. “I’ve always known there’s someone out there for me, Aunty,” he said instead. “I’ll find them someday soon, I’m sure.”
“Don’t stop looking,” Aunt Julie urged. “Don’t stop searching, but don’t go giving yourself to someone who doesn’t deserve you. You have a huge heart in that hunky body of yours. A huge heart. You’re a son any mother would be proud to call her own.”
Tanner was prevented from answering as Aunt Julie started coughing again. By the time she’d stopped her eyes were closing and the skin around her lips was a pale blue. Giving into his instincts, Tanner sat up on the corner of the bed and gently pulled her into his arms, resting her head over his heart. With his wolf howling his sorrow to the spirits, Tanner held her into the wee small hours, until the woman he knew as his Aunt Julie moved into the arms of her beloved Alfie.
Chapter Nine
Karl got out of the car, running his hands nervously over his pants. Early Sunday morning, his wolf alerted him to an incredible sadness, and as he was in his bed alone at the time, he could only assume something had happened with his mate. Monday morning, Karl started scanning the obituaries, spotting one that seemed to fit in the afternoon paper.
A quick call to the funeral home, and Karl learned that yes, the woman’s nephew Tanner was handling the funeral arrangements and the service would be held on Wednesday. Cindy coming into his office with red rimmed eyes and asking for the same day off, confirmed it. She let slip that Julie had died in Tanner’s arms in the early hours of Sunday morning and that her mom, Mabel was helping with all the arrangements. “Tanner was gutted,” was all she would say when Karl asked.
The parking lot at the cemetery was full of cars. Karl was surprised to see even a few police cruisers parked in the spots usually reserved for mourners. He’d been second guessing his decision to go, since he’d originally decided it was the right thing to do, and seeing all the cars now, Karl wondered again if it was a good idea. Tanner’s aunt was clearly a well-loved woman.
Mate, his wolf insisted, and that wasn’t helping, but Karl knew he couldn’t stay away. The ache in his soul was real. Tanner was hurting and would need his alpha. The least Karl could do was provide a shoulder to cry on.
There was a crowd over in the far corner of the cemetery and Karl headed there. He spotted Cindy in the crowd with her mother, and a lot of men and women in police dress uniforms. His eyes widened when he saw that Tanner was wearing one too. My omega’s in law enforcement? At least that explained what all the uniforms were about.
The minister had just finished speaking as Karl approached. One by one, people made their respects to Tanner, and quietly left the graveside. Karl waited to one side, not even acknowledging Cindy, until only Tanner and one other huge man remained. The stranger was in his own uniform, so was obviously a work colleague. It was the stranger’s eyes who met his.
“I wondered if you’d turn up.” The man scowled and as Karl got closer, he caught the scent of a bea
r.
Shit.
“I said to Tanner, I said if that man of yours listens to his wolf just once, then he’d feel your pain and he’d come. And look at that. Just like a bad penny you turn up.”
Tanner’s told someone about me?
“Cap, please,” Tanner murmured. “This is not the time. I’ll meet you back at the car. I’m sure whatever this man has to say won’t take long.”
“I’m watching you, boy,” the bear said keeping his eyes focused on Karl. “If you hurt him any more than you have, you’ll have me to answer to. Today of all days.” The bear flicked his finger at Karl and headed back towards the parking lot.
Waiting until the bear was out of earshot, Karl moved closer, standing on the opposite side of the open grave. The casket was solid mahogany with a brass plate and a mass of flowers decorating it.
“I’m truly sorry for your loss,” Karl said hesitantly. “I did worry… I overheard Cindy and her mother talking after you left the launch party. They said your aunt was going to break the news to you that night…” He trailed off as Tanner looked across at him, for once in his life at a loss for words. The pain in his mate’s eyes was overwhelming.
“None of this is your fault. You didn’t have to come.” Tanner indicated the grave. “My aunt was a very special woman who believed in love in all forms. She would have adored learning about fated mates, but after…” Tanner inhaled sharply. “After you rejected me, I’m so glad I didn’t tell her.”
Karl frowned. “You told your Captain about me.”
“That wasn’t intentional. I would never knowingly cause you any concern.” Tanner lifted his chin. “As a detective, I have a lot of friends on the force, and the Captain comes from a large clan. I felt, after what didn’t happen between us, it was time for me to leave town. Unfortunately, my Captain is a stubborn man who didn’t see my aunt’s death and the fact I’ve lived here ten years as reason enough to leave a job I’m apparently good at.”