‘The problem is...’
‘The problem is that Shona and Neil belong to both.’
‘Your husband would not concur with that view, I reckon.’
‘My husband doesn’t understand that there is one significant obstacle to having Neil and Shona live with us permanently. No, I don’t mean you as such, Mr Maddox. I mean the love your children have for you. They would be very unhappy if forced to choose. I see I have surprised you.’
Grayson laughed. ‘Trust me, in a very positive way.’
‘When my daughter died, I expected you would marry again. It’s what most widowed men do, when they lose their wife early and are left with young children.’
‘It never occurred to me to do such a thing.’
‘You would not take the help I offered.’
‘Forgive me, Lady Glenbranter, but the help you offered was to take my children away from me.’
‘The offer was made with the best of intentions. You were a young man with a growing business.’
‘My business has never got in the way of my duties as a father.’
‘It is greatly to your credit, Mr Maddox. You must rid yourself of the notion that I am your enemy.’ Lady Glenbranter’s smile was rigid, but it was a smile. ‘We are on the same side when it comes to the children.’
‘I would very much like to believe that.’
‘I understand your scepticism, but it’s the truth. I am exceedingly fond of Shona and Neil. You have proven yourself an excellent and loving father, and one who has, moreover, always put his children first. There have been times over the years when we have been less than considerate, Mr Maddox, but you have refrained from retaliating. You have never prevented us seeing our grandchildren and that means a great deal to me. To us, I should say. A very great deal. Lord Glenbranter and I are very grateful for your forbearance. Thank you.’
‘You are welcome.’
‘Well now, I think we have made excellent progress.’ Lady Glenbranter set her glass down decisively. ‘You and I will never agree on what is best for Elizabeth’s children, but I think we can agree that the decision can ultimately rest with them. In truth, I doubt that Shona would permit it to be otherwise. She is a very decided young woman.’
‘I’m afraid she takes that from me.’
‘I will be indiscreet and confess that I rather admire her for it, though her grandfather considers it a most unfeminine trait.’
‘Does he point this out to her?’
‘Oh, yes.’ Lady Glenbranter smiled grimly. ‘Every time he does, she tells him that he is quite right, and changes the subject. It is a very effective technique.’
Grayson gave a bark of laughter. ‘I’ll keep a look out for it in case she tries to use it on me.’
‘I am glad we had this little chat. I won’t stay for dinner, if you don’t mind, my husband is expecting me.’ Getting to her feet, she extended her hand. ‘Let us call a truce on our battle of wills, Mr Maddox, and see if we can work together a little better in the future. Neil in particular is at a volatile age. He needs stability. Let us see what we can do to make sure he doesn’t feel as if he’s at the centre of a tug of war.’
* * *
‘Well!’ Shona burst into the sitting room as soon as Grayson had shown Lady Glenbranter out. ‘I suppose I should be flattered that Grandmother thinks she doesn’t need to worry about me, only Neil.’
‘You were listening!’
‘Oh, Pa, what on earth did you expect? We both were. For goodness sake, you and the grandparents haven’t spoken in for ever. Then we come to Edinburgh and you practically throw me and Neil into their company, which you have never done before. And then Grandmother actually deigns to pay a call on you. We had no choice but to listen. It was obvious that something was afoot’
‘We thought you were intending to give us away,’ Neil said, joining them.
‘What!’
Shona glowered at her brother. ‘We thought you were making arrangements for us to go and live with the grandparents.’
‘Why on earth would you think such a thing?’ Grayson stared at his offspring aghast. ‘It’s the very last thing I would ever want to do. You’re everything to me, you two.’
‘We know that, silly.’ Shona threw her arms around him. ‘We never doubt that for a moment, do we Neil?’
His son shrugged awkwardly. ‘’Course not.’
‘Come here.’ Grayson sat down on the sofa, patting the spaces by his side, putting one arm around each of his children when they joined him. ‘Firstly and most importantly, I love the pair of you very, very much. Is that clear?’
When both nodded, he managed a ragged smile. ‘Secondly, your grandparents love you too. Yes, understood?’
More nods. His heart rate began to slow to normal. ‘Now here comes the trickier bit. Your grandparents have some very fixed ideas about what they want for you.’
‘Grandfather says I’m going to be a marquess when he dies,’ Neil said morosely. ‘Do I have to be, Pa?’
‘Your grandfather isn’t likely to die for a long time yet, Son.’
‘He says I need to go to a proper school, where I’ll meet the right people.’
‘Does he, now.’ Was this the stability Lady Glenbranter intended for Neil? No, he couldn’t believe she’d have beaten about the bush if that had been her only goal. ‘If you were listening in to my conversation with your grandmother, you’ll know that what we’ve agreed is not to make either of you do anything you don’t want to do.’
‘So I don’t have to go to a different school?’
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, Neil!’ Shona exclaimed. ‘I wish I had your dilemma. Grandfather doesn’t think girls should go to school at all. He says it’s a waste of time and money, filling our heads with ideas when we should be at home sewing samplers.’
‘And Shona asked him if he knew what a sampler was, and he went all red, Pa.’
‘You decided against the tactic of telling him he was quite right, and changing the subject then?’
‘If you use the same tactic every time, you’ll get caught out. Grandfather’s old-fashioned and he doesn’t half like the sound of his own voice, but he’s not daft.’
‘Nor am I. You are teetering on the edge of being impertinent, Miss Maddox.’
Shona kissed his cheek. ‘Sorry, Pa.’
He laughed. ‘I’m not endeared.’
‘No, of course you’re not, that’s why you’re smiling that soppy smile.’
‘Please can we go down to dinner now?’ Neil said, ‘I’m so hungry I could eat a scabby-headed wean.’
‘I hope,’ Grayson said, ‘that you don’t treat your grandparents to too much Glasgow patter. We’ll go down to dinner in a minute, but I want to be serious with the pair of you first. Will you tell me why you thought that I wanted you to go and live with your grandparents?’
Shona stared significantly at Neil, who stared down at his feet. ‘You’ve been really grumpy,’ she said.
‘Not grumpy,’ Neil said. ‘Sad.’
‘Sad?’
‘Not sad as such.’ Shona chewed her lip. ‘More just sort of fed up.’
‘How long have I been just sort of fed up?’
‘Weeks?’ Shona looked at Neil, who nodded. ‘And then we came here, and you wanted us to spend more time with the grandparents. We thought you were fed up with us.’
His first feeling was one of immense relief that they hadn’t discovered the real reason for his mood. It had occurred to him, much too late, that Neil and Lord Glenbranter could have been in one of the carriages en route to Holyrood the other day, when he and Constance had walked up Calton Hill. He’d dismissed the notion as highly unlikely, but this was a warning to him to take more care. Or stop seeing her completely. He swore under his breath. For the love of God, he had a much more important matter to deal with now.
‘I was actually fed up with me. But now I’ve come to an understanding with your grandmother I feel much better. Are you convinced now, that I’m not fed up with you and never will be?’ he asked, receiving two very decisive nods.
‘Well then, I’m glad you were listening in to that conversation with your grandmother, though you know that you shouldn’t have. Will we get ourselves down to dinner now, and you can tell me what you’d like to do tomorrow?’
Wednesday, 21st August 1822
‘But that’s excellent news,’ Constance said when Grayson had finished telling her of Lady Glenbranter’s visit the previous day. ‘It’s exactly what you hoped to achieve.’
‘Provided I keep behaving myself. There’s a bit of me that thinks she’s got a nerve, you know. Well done, Mr Maddox—she refused point blank to call me Grayson. You’ve been a good boy for the last eight years. Provided you don’t misbehave, then we’ll get on fine.’
‘She didn’t really say that?’
‘As good as. I don’t mind, really. It’s not that I have any plans to misbehave.’
‘Keep an even keel and don’t rock the boat.’
‘Aye, that will be my epitaph. Will we sit?’
‘Have you time? I thought you were going to Cramond with your children?’
‘I’ve half an hour or so. I wanted to see you.’
‘That sounds rather ominous.’ Constance sat down beside him on their usual spot. Angus was already curling himself up for a sleep.
‘I got a bit of a fright, when Lady Glenbranter left. Shona and Neil had been listening in on the conversation. They thought it was leading up to my sending them off to live with her.’
‘What! Oh, Grayson, where did they get that idea from?’
‘I’ll tell you.’
He did, and Constance listened, appalled. ‘How long had they been keeping all that to themselves?’
‘Do you know, I’ve no idea. I was horrified.’
‘I’m not surprised.’
‘I thought at first that Neil had seen us together.’
‘From the carriage on the way to the levee.’
‘You thought of that too?’
‘Afterwards.’ She winced. ‘Not at the time.’
‘No, me either. When I realised that Neil hadn’t seen us, I was mighty relieved.’
Her heart sank. ‘We shouldn’t see each other again, should we?’ She’d meant it to be a statement, but somehow it came out as a question.
His hand found hers. ‘I don’t understand why it’s not easier. I’ve got what I wanted, as far as my children are concerned. Why isn’t that enough?’
‘It’s human nature to want what you can’t have.’
‘Is that really what you think keeps us coming back for more, Constance, even though we know we shouldn’t, even though we’ve told ourselves countless times that we shouldn’t?’
He looked straight into her eyes and she knew then, exactly what it was that kept them coming back. Why they couldn’t stay away from each other. She knew with utter certainty what it was, and she knew that he felt it too, and she knew it would be absolutely fatal for either of them to admit it.
She disentangled her hand from his. ‘My cousin and his wife arrive today. I’ll soon find out what this mysterious proposition is.’
Grayson got to his feet. ‘I’m not a procrastinator or a ditherer. When I make up my mind to do something, I do it. If I could persuade myself that being with you was wrong, it would be easier. I feel like I’m stringing you along.’
‘You’re not! I promise you, you’re not. I feel the exact same. I don’t know what to do for the best,’ Constance said wretchedly. ‘I know that when you go back to Glasgow it will be over, I do know that. There’s a clock in my head counting down the days already. It will be down to hours before we know it. Should we cut our losses now, today? Spare ourselves more pain?’
‘I think the answer to that is a definite yes. There’s not actually anything to discuss, is there?’
‘No, there really isn’t.’
They stared at each other in shock. Then Grayson nodded and made to go. ‘I forgot. You asked me to find out if that woman was at the Ladies Drawing Room. The Marchioness of Stafford. She stayed at home, apparently, back in Sutherland.’
‘Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome.’ He waited a moment, shook his head, turned his back and walked away.
Chapter Fifteen
Flora is reliably informed that the Countess of Sutherland, otherwise known as the Marchioness of Stafford, was not in attendance at the Ladies Drawing Room on Tuesday. Was she indisposed or too ashamed to show her face? Ah, but shame implies an element of humanity, and when you have heard my tale, I defy you to credit the lady with even a shred of that emotion.
Are you sitting uncomfortably? Then I’ll begin. A few years ago a debilitating crop failure struck parts of the far north-east of our country. Whole communities were starving. But fear not, gentle reader, for who rode to their rescue but none other than the Countess of Sutherland, providing essential famine relief to her tenants.
What’s this, Flora, I hear you say, singing the praises of a landowner? Ah but my story has a sting in the tale. The grateful tenants were astonished to discover that the cost of the food provided was added on to their next year’s rent. What’s more, those who couldn’t afford the extra charges were summarily evicted from their homes.
Talk about giving with one hand and taking away with the other! Is the Countess under the illusion that she can play God? No, there is no need to answer that question for you and I know, dear reader, that most estate owners believe they have the power of life and death over their tenants. One can only hope that they will eventually be forced to give an account to a higher power for their despicable actions. Flora trusts He will be equally merciless on the guilty.
Flora MacDonald, New Jacobite Journal
Thursday, 22rd August 1822
Wednesday had passed in a blur of activity that prevented Constance from thinking. Pearl and Isabel closeted themselves away for the better part of the day, leaving her to entertain her cousin and his wife. James and Edith Fraser were a charming couple about her own age, delighted to make her acquaintance, eager to bury the past and equally eager to see Edinburgh en fête. It would have been a bittersweet experience for Constance filled with memories of an identical stroll with Grayson, as they walked the length of the High Street and the Canongate down to Holyrood, had not her new relatives been so entranced by all they saw and so full of questions.
Their proposition was revealed over dinner and discussed in detail for the rest of the evening. By the time she retired, Constance’s future was all but decided. She lay awake, trying to persuade herself that it was a relief, feeling utterly numb.
Knowing full well that Grayson wouldn’t be in the park the next morning, she was none the less enormously disappointed to be greeted by an empty space under the tree where he ought to have been. It wasn’t that they had anything more to discuss, but she had wanted to tell him her news. That was what she told herself any road, as he would say. She wanted him to know she had a future planned.
* * *
The day turned driech and miserable for the King’s Grand Procession from Holyrood to the castle. Pearl and Isabel waved Constance, James and Edith off as soon as breakfast was over. Thinking to avoid the crowds, she took them the route in the shadow of the castle along Lothian Road, through the market at King’s Stables Road, which was closed for the day and into the Grassmarket. There was a terrible crush. The noise of carriage wheels and horses’ hooves on the cobblestones made her head ache. She was hard put to maintain her smile, and immensely thankful that there was so much going on to distract her relatives.
The best place to stand was at the top of West Bow, where it opened out on to the Lawnmarket. Looking up, hundreds of people co
uld be seen hanging over the Esplanade, and a frightening number clinging to the rocks below the castle itself. Arriving out of breath at the top of the hill, they were confronted with hordes of people fighting for position, climbing up on to the precarious-looking temporary platforms. Flowers, sodden with the rain, decorated the many benches, and flags hung limp from every building. No one wanted to give way. The air was redolent of damp tartan and wet horse. Surgeons and sailors, grocers and gardeners, porters and printers, clerics and candlemakers, all gathered in their designated areas. Clusters of children from orphanages and schools sat resolutely cross-legged as others clambered over them. A choir was performing in one wynd, the now ubiquitous bagpipes were whining from another. And the rain fell in a steady drizzle.
‘I think this is as good a viewing position as we’re going to get,’ James said, shepherding his wife and Constance under the shelter of an awning.
‘How on earth did you persuade them to make room for us?’
Her cousin smiled. ‘I happen to be acquainted with His Lordship over there.’
The man James indicated was tall and sparse, with a shock of white hair and a short pointed white beard, a hawk-like nose and a heavy frown. He wore a pair of tartan trews with a short black coat. A very expensive ceremonial sword hung from a belt at his side, and the pin in his bonnet winked with jewels. ‘Who is that?’ Constance asked.
‘His estate has lands adjoining ours, so I suppose you could call him our neighbour. To be honest, Constance, we don’t see much of him and are happy to keep it so. A very proud man, the sort who likes to compare bloodlines to ensure his is superior, you know? The bigger portion of his lands are in the north, where he spends most of his time. I will introduce you to his wife when she arrives. She took an interest in our little project, and will be pleased to know that we are now in a position to progress it, thanks to you. Ah, there she is. And that must be her grandchildren. Lady Glenbranter! I say, over here, my lady.’
With a sickening lurch in her stomach, Constance stood behind her cousin as Grayson’s dead wife’s mother was ushered under the covering, holding out her hand in greeting to James. She had the impression of an elegantly dressed, stern woman with an unexpectedly warm smile. Constance managed to mumble a greeting. As she made her curtsy, she received an uninterested nod from Lord Glenbranter. Grayson’s children both smiled politely, but their eyes were on the crowd shaping and reforming itself in the Lawnmarket as stewards urged people to make way for the procession.
A Forbidden Liaison with Miss Grant Page 19