Moondust And Madness

by Taylor, Janelle

  As Jana concealed her gaze beneath thick lashes or behind fallen curls, she observed her effect on the starship commander. She might be green, but she could recognize bold interest! Like it or not, she did appeal to him! Perhaps he wasn’t as unreachable as he and others believed! Was he afraid a mate would demand changes in him and his carefree lifestyle? How could she learn more about his existence and his feelings? Whatever, she knew she wanted Varian Saar! She wouldn’t give up quickly or easily…

  Varian had about reached his limits of patience. She was the center of attention for his men. Her silvery laughter rankled his taut nerves. Evidently she was trying to make him jealous, or perhaps gain his attention with her antics. Trouble was, she was doing a damn good job of it! Before Varian could ponder these theories further, he finished his dance with Susan. He had tuned out the redhead’s silly chatter and brazen overtures. He felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turned to find Jana next to him.

  “Care to test my new skills, Commander Saar? I hear you’re a matchless dancer. Why not give me the opportunity to satisfy my curiosity about that claim?” Jana’s colorful eyes sparkled with the challenge.

  At a table nearby, a traitorous officer was keenly observing Jana and Varian, surreptitiously taking more pictures. But he was beginning to worry about this repulsive and perilous betrayal, for those two looked as if they were actually falling in love! But he was trapped! The lieutenant had to save his career, his reputation, his family, and his own life. He didn’t care about Ryker Triloni’s promises of glory and riches! He didn’t want to touch that wicked bitch Canissia again! If the people blackmailing and threatening him weren’t Ryker Triloni and Canissia Garthon, he would betray them to the authorities! But what sane man would challenge the devil himself and his wicked handmaiden? As agreed, he would do this one last job for them. He just wanted out of this quicksand.

  Chapter Eight

  Varian flashed a knowing grin, which she promptly returned. “Of course if you’re tired or you’re claimed, I’ll understand.” Jana smiled provocatively and turned to leave, but Varian reached out and seized her hand in his. Wanton or not, her time was limited on his starship!

  “I believe it’s your turn to show me up,” Varian jested, his words carrying a deceptive calm. He drew her into his possessive embrace.

  They left Susan standing in the middle of the dance floor, fuming at Jana’s intrusive conduct. She made her way back to her own table and sat down, determined to have revenge on Jana.

  “Why the sudden change in mood?” Varian questioned. “I was beginning to think I had destroyed any chance of earning your cooperation.”

  “I must apologize for my conduct and my part in our misunderstanding. But you are a most charming man, and you did bait me.” Laughing softly as he grinned, she added, “I’ll try to behave myself. It seems you have my best interests at heart, and I do appreciate it.” She reminded herself to speak demurely.

  Her expression and tone waxed serious. “To answer your question, I’ve given my situation a great deal of thought. It’s ridiculous not to take advantage of my training period. Everyone keeps telling me this impending destiny won’t be anything to fear. I would prefer to have you as an ally, protector, and teacher. If that’s still agreeable to you.”

  “I see. Anything else?” he inquired in undisguised pleasure.

  Jana watched him closely with fathomless eyes. She had piqued his curiosity. If she couldn’t have him, damn him for abducting her and selling her! Damn him for opening her to pervasive longings! “Inexperience certainly has its pitfalls. It seems I have much to learn and time is short. I’m rather naive for a doctor and a scientist,” she jested. “Perhaps I was too busy working in a laboratory to learn about men. Maybe you were right when you accused me of experimenting with emotions. I suppose my scientific training does sneak out on unexpected occasions. I’m sorry I behaved so shamelessly.”

  Varian played right into her hands when he asked, “What did you learn tonight, Jana? I’m greatly intrigued by this change of heart.”

  “If sex is like its preceding passion, it must be fantastic. Considering the reason for my capture, I find that reality encouraging.” She daringly continued, “It’s actually possible to desire a man for his masculine appeal, even a fearsome stranger one might dislike or mistrust. Is there any chance you have a twin who’s single and needs a mate, one who doesn’t share your bias against charls? At least tell me you aren’t one of a kind,” she coaxed mirthfully. She felt the tensing of his hard body. She read the brief glint of anger in his sapphire eyes before he could conceal them.

  “I’m the sole survivor of the Saar name,” he responded icily. “As to my uniqueness, such conclusions are in the eyes and mind of the beholder.”

  “Could I ask…Never mind.” She quickly rejected a probing path.

  “Don’t stop in the middle of a sentence, Jana,” he chided her.

  She eyed him intently, then asked, “Have I misread your signals about me? When you say certain words, you have a cold expression and tone of voice. Do you have an aversion to alien women, to charls? I guess I’m asking if you find me repulsive. Did I offend you with…my touch?” She watched Varian watch her, but he didn’t answer. “If you feel repulsed, do the other men in your world concur with you? Or is yours some personal prejudice against me?” His penetrating gaze drilled into her murky one.

  After a lengthy silence, Jana ventured, “Am I not making sense, or being too inquisitive? I need to know what to expect from this man who will purchase me and carry me home.” She moved the back of her hand over his cheek as she dreamily asked, “Is this only a masterly disguise? Or do Maffeians resemble Earthlings this closely? Is this slave raid a deception, or a real attempt at race survival? Will I be accepted and cherished as you all claim? Or will the man who buys me treat me like you do? Please tell me the truth, Varian. Don’t let me create false dreams.”

  “It wouldn’t profit you to hear my feelings on this matter. I offered you friendship, Jana; that should tell you all you need to know. We have explained charl practice honestly. You’re very beautiful and desirable; if you don’t realize your immense value, you sorely lack a vital education.”

  “Then provide it, Professor Saar.”

  As another dance began, Varian chuckled. “I think such a class can be arranged for you. It’s hard to imagine a doctor needing sex education.”

  “Tristan?” said Jana sweetly to obliterate his smug look. It did.

  “Why Tristan?” His eyes revealed his disappointment. “The best person would be an expert in that particular field, Jana. Tristan is not.”

  “Who, if not a doctor?” Jana appeared to mentally go over his crew members. Her eyes brightened. She looked up at him and questioned, “You?”

  “Can you name anyone on board better qualified?” he smugly challenged.

  Jana grinned impishly and parried, “There’s Susan. We’re both women.”

  Varian frowned, then arched one brow rakishly. “You wouldn’t profit from her lessons. You’re soft and warm and natural. Your air of innocence is a potent attraction. We don’t want to tamper with it, and surely not tarnish it. You have a new illusion; sex is not purely physical.”

  She acted and responded as if his last statement was the only one spoken. “But it appears that way with you, sir, and you are the expert.”

  Varian smiled. “There are emotions other than love involved, Jana. A mutual desire is one.”

  “Mutual desire,” she echoed, then lapsed into thoughtful silence.

  Their bodies moved in fluid unison to the soft music. Varian unconsciously drew in their extended arms and locked her right arm to his left side. His cheek rested against her fragrant hair. He drew her closer to his fiery body. He closed his eyes and allowed the music and Jana to fill his senses. No male would dare to claim Jana from his arms!

  Jana artfully swayed against his firm body. She closed her eyes and flowed with him and the music, gradually climbing a blissfully tor
tuous spiral. It seemed as if her entire body was responding to his erotic messages. As she hazily floated between reality and fantasy, she sighed dreamily and nestled closer.

  Jana’s nearness, touch, and essence called forth the emotions Varian had been trying to suppress all evening. His body naturally responded to her enticing signals. Susan’s grating laughter nearby shattered the dangerous spell over him. Varian’s lips moved close to Jana’s ear. He tenderly whispered, “The dance is almost over, Jana. Compose yourself. This isn’t the time or place to study emotions, and such lessons won’t go past the verbal stage. As you can see, a mutual attraction can be untimely and annoying.” The dance ended. Varian almost reluctantly released her from the warm confines of his arms. He wanted nothing more than to sweep her into his arms and carry her to his quarters where he could make passionate love to her for hours. The expression which greeted him was far removed from what he had expected to see, had hoped to see.

  Thanks to his warning, her wits cleared and her passions cooled. “You are a superb dancer, Commander Saar. That was very nice.”

  Varian stared at her in disbelief. Desire danced in his sapphire eyes. While he had been squirming in the flames of passion, their contact had not had the slightest effect on her! He grimaced in irritation. So much for her false innocence. She could be a real teaser.

  “After much thought, it doesn’t appear a good idea for you to tutor me, Varian. It wouldn’t be wise to fan those flames which sparked between us earlier. Maybe that task belongs to my future mate. But thank you for the dance and enlightenment.”

  Slightly perturbed by her lack of response, he muttered, “My pleasure.” It rankled him to view her perky, quicksilver mood at his expense.

  Jana sighed wearily. “Commander, it’s rather late and I’m very tired tonight. Is it permissible for me to return to my quarters?”

  Varian’s emotions were in a turmoil and his body enflamed with desire. How dare a charl sneak into his life and wreak such havoc on his emotions! Who did Jana think she was, anyway? Teasing him, deceiving him, tempting him! His gaze drifted to Susan as the lusty vixen issued a sultry invitation in his direction. That was another problem which needed handling, and he was in the right mood to do so! He summoned Nigel. “Give Jana a last dance, then escort her to her quarters. Good night,” he murmured absently, then headed in Susan’s direction.

  His intention seemed clear to Jana. How could a man allow one female to feed the hungers created by another woman? So much for his deceitful claim that sexual coupling wasn’t a physical release!

  Jana danced with Nigel as she tried to keep her gaze and mind off Varian and Susan. She despised the way they were cozying up, the way they were whispering and laughing. Susan was all over the submissive beast! She would never forgive Varian if he carried out this vindictive sport!

  Nigel’s gaze shifted back and forth between the woman in his arms and the scene in the corner. He was baffled by his friend’s behavior toward both females. Had Varian lost his wits completely? Nigel wanted to spare Jana further embarrassment and anguish. He smiled and suggested, “It’s late, and we had a busy day. You ready to go?”

  Jana lifted softened eyes to his compassionate gaze. She astutely grasped his intention. She smiled appreciatively and nodded. And she thought Varian Saar was a special man! How blind and stupid could a woman be! Jana and Nigel departed before the music ended.

  When Varian sneaked a glance in their direction to see how his conduct was affecting Jana, he was rankled to find them gone. So much for Jana tonight. He concentrated his attention on Susan.

  Nigel led Jana across the corridor and into the botanical garden. He plucked a lacy tropical flower and handed it to her. She examined it, then inhaled its fragrance. “That should add color and perfume to your quarters. Perhaps coax a smile to that lovely face.”

  “You are a most exceptional man. I won’t forget you and your help, Lieutenant Nigel Sanger. What’s it called?” she inquired, teasing her nose with the blue and green blossom with its bold splotches of crimson and yellow.

  “Tarkitilae Moosi, the eyes of Kimon, our goddess of love and beauty. It’s Varian’s favorite to—” He halted at his foolish slip.

  As if she had missed it, she squealed, “Look, Nigel! A shooting star. Hurry, make a wish,” she declared in childlike wonder.

  “I wish you a long and happy life, Little Earthling,” he remarked amiably, just as he was summoned on the intercom. He shrugged and grinned as he stepped to the nearest unit and replied, “Lieutenant Sanger here.”

  “Sir, I need you on the bridge. Commander Saar doesn’t want to be disturbed unless it’s an emergency.” The voice assailed Jana’s frayed nerves.

  Nigel grimaced. “I’m on my way, Baruch.” He turned toward Jana. “I’ll see you home first,” he teased lightly, pointedly.

  Jana smiled. “Surely I can be trusted to cover such a short distance. I promise, straight to my room. No detours or mischief. I’ll see you in the morning. You can explain shooting stars.” She waved good night and turned away.

  Nigel entered the elevator and snapped, “Bridge!”

  About to round the comer, laughter and voices halted Jana. She peered around the edge. She clenched her fists and teeth as Varian and Susan, arm in arm, strolled down the hall and entered his quarters. The door swished shut behind them. Silence filled the long passageway. Jana stared at the sealed door, and damned Varian’s soul to the flames of hell. As if agony were tearing her body to small pieces, she painfully made her way to her suite. She pressed the button, then entered her golden prison only moments before her poise vanished. She headed for the servo, rashly ordering one drink after another. She gulped one down swiftly, then seized another and repeated the reckless urge to numb her shattering torment.

  Jana hadn’t consumed the deadening limit before Varian’s score-settling sport with Susan was complete and a security man was escorting the enraged and flustered captive to her quarters. Varian had spurned Susan and she was furious at the slight.

  The next morning, Jana and Susan collided on the way to their separate classes. Susan sneered at her and said, “You look awful. What did you do, cry all night because I was screwing your dreamboat? This is one time all your beauty, charm, and money can’t get you the one prize you want more than anything. Don’t fret, Jana dear. You’ll soon have a new master to practice your angelic charms on. Perhaps he won’t be as choosy as Varian, nor as talented between the sheets. I pity you that first night with him. He’ll probably strip you and rape you within one hour after your purchase. I can just hear you now, crying and pleading. He’ll probably tie you to the bed and take you over and over. Do you know how it feels to have sex with a despicable creep? Too bad you can’t convince our handsome captor to train you how to please and enjoy a real man.

  “If Varian sells you to the man he described last night, you need not worry about your pride and safety. You won’t last that long. If you survive his savage attacks and sadistic fantasies, you’ll plead for sweet mercy. The devil he has in mind for you will make Varian Saar look like an angel. No doubt that’s the purpose behind his selection. My, my, Jana,” she clucked mockingly. “Whatever did you do or say to Varian to inspire such fury and spite. If I were you, I would try to dispel his hunger for revenge before this trip ends.” Susan laughed maliciously as she sauntered down the hall, hoping this vengeful sport was worth any punishment!

  Jana back raced to her suite door, slapping her sweaty palm against the button. She ran into the bathroom, feeling nauseated. Her head was pounding and she splashed cold water on her face and took several swallows. She stared at her reflection. Susan was right; she looked terrible. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot; her face was almost sallow. Tears rushed down her cheeks in a torrent of dejection. Jana sat in the vanity chair and covered her face with her hands.

  Neither woman had noticed the first officer poised in his doorway. Nigel had been about to leave his quarters to fetch Jana for their class. Susan’s vicious
tirade had inspired him to halt and listen. He was infuriated by her malicious attack on Jana, but had not stopped it as there were clues he wanted to glean. Varian would never say such vile things. Nigel’s shrewd mind added, unless there was a good reason! Something powerful and volatile was going on between Jana and Varian. Varian had not been himself since she had come aboard. Nigel was in a quandary; should he get involved in such a personal affair?

  Nigel entered Jana’s suite. He ordered her to lie on the bed and rest. He got a cold, wet cloth and covered her forehead. To conceal his concern, he teased her about sampling too much party wine and staying up so late. “You’ve been studying long hours, Jana. Don’t push yourself so hard. I’ll get Tris to bring you something for that headache. Just lie there and relax. I’ll check on you later.”

  So that he would not have to alert Jana to the communications panel in her room, Nigel left for his own quarters to summon Tristan. Evidently Varian had ordered her monitor off except for brief contacts. Before Nigel reached his door, Varian’s opened. Their gazes met. Nigel waited for his friend’s approach.

  “I thought you had Jana for class this morning,” Varian remarked.

  “I was just about to call Tris to examine her. She’s sick. I think she needs a day off. She’s pale and shaky. She has a slight fever and severe headache. I think she feels as bad as she looks.”

  “I should check on her,” Varian stated reluctantly. Hearing she was ill, his worry overshadowed his illogical lesson in jealousy.

  “After that little display with Susan last night, I doubt your visit would be appreciated. Friend to friend, I think you should leave Jana alone for a while.” Nigel related the bridge call in Jana’s presence, then allowed Varian to draw his own speculations about its effect.

  Varian pondered Nigel’s words and mood. “I suppose you’re right. Take care of her,” he ordered hoarsely, then headed for the bridge.