Jana was permitted two uninterrupted days of rest. Over and over, she analyzed certain conversations and events. She eventually decided there was no understanding Commander Varian Saar.
The ensuing week passed swiftly for Jana, since her schedule remained full. Jana tried to keep her mind off the subjects which could upset her delicate balance of confidence and tranquility. She threw herself into her task of learning everything these aliens could teach her. Whoever was to be her fate, she would prepare herself as best she could to confront him on equal ground. During this exacting period, Jana’s days and nights passed in a sort of emotional limbo. Whenever Varian’s image appeared to plague her, she tried to dispel it with rigid concentration on her work. But each time she saw or confronted Varian, her heart betrayed her vow to despise him. His attraction steadily became more compelling. Worse, it seemed as if her captor was annoyed by her lack of attention. This conclusion terrified her, for she feared it would be a challenge to him.
Varian was well aware of Jana’s retreat from him. He berated his inane, conflicting behavior. No wonder she was so edgy and wary. Varian admitted his conduct and strategy befuddled even him. He had started off wanting to prevent her appeal to his crew, then failed by parading her before them. The dinners and dances had been a mistake. He should have kept everything on a level of business or simple kindness. Somewhere his plans had gone awry.
He couldn’t have Jana Greyson; it would mean certain death for her at Ryker’s hands. But hadn’t he known that from the night of her capture when she had gazed up into his face? Or later when she had brought his body to life while she lay asleep? Or those verbal sparrings which he had enjoyed so immensely?
But Varian was fooled by Jana’s deceptive front. He believed she had resigned herself to her impending fate with another mate, that she was looking forward to her new life, to their separation. Despite his plans and resolve, as the many days and nights rushed toward a final separation, Varian fumed as he saw his power over her decreasing while hers over him was increasing.
Varian decided it was time to put his wily plot back into motion, to show his hunger while preventing hers. After all, this new talent would take time and effort to create and perfect. His pride was stung. His desire was aroused. His ego was challenged. His mind was baffled. His duty called out to him. Each day Varian casually caressed a kiss to her forehead, the tip of her pert nose, or cheek. He enjoyed this little sport of provoking her. It became a sort of irrational punishment for being out of his reach.
Once Jana was sitting at a conference table in Nigel’s office. Varian slipped up behind her and kissed her on the back of her neck, then sensuously ravished her earlobe. Jana whirled with wide eyes to see if Nigel had lost his mind by daring to make a pass at her, even in jest. She was about to admonish him, but found her parted lips claimed by Varian’s insistent mouth. He pulled her to her feet and captured her squirming body in his strong grip.
Seeing she was powerless to stop him or free herself, Jana melted into his arms and returned his feverish kiss. Why not? She could always excuse her weakness as submission to his brute strength and compelling authority. Besides, his kiss sent thrills to her very core and his power over her was irresistible. As their lips parted, Jana tried to hide the enormous hunger she was feeling for him. She was only partially successful. Her quivering body and flushed cheeks told him he had gotten to her.
Yet she scolded him, “You’ve previously satisfied my feminine curiosity, Commander. It requires no further testing or exploration. I’m busy.”
“I was satisfying my own curiosity,” Varian huskily informed her.
“How so?” Jana inquired of this man she presumed knew everything.
He grinned mysteriously. “I think you already know.”
“I don’t have the vaguest idea what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t you now?” Varian taunted her. He grinned satanically and strolled out, leaving a flustered Jana gaping after him. If he kept up this sport a few weeks, he would have no trouble displaying an obsession for her while she exposed anger at his torment. His conduct should bait Ryker; her conduct should defend her from Ryker!
That same day, Varian altered her schedule, to include every other evening meal in the Stardust Room, at his table. To keep her on her toes, he missed the first two meals, then suddenly appeared for the next one. He praised his wits, for he was beginning to enjoy himself again.
One night, Varian tantalized her with unnerving nibbles on her ear during a dance. He whispered flowery compliments about her progress and ravishing appearance. He told her how lucky her owner would be to purchase such fire and innocence, as his warm breath and touch nearly devastated her warring senses. Jana scolded him for his lecherous behavior. “I might be your prisoner, but damn you, leave me alone. I’m off limits, remember? Don’t fondle me in public or in private. I can’t stand your touch.”
“Because you think I’ve shared it with Susan?” he hinted. “I can promise you, Jana, I haven’t touched a single alien on this ship except you.” At her look of doubt, he related the facts of the night in question. “You see, I was only teaching Susan a much-needed lesson. Everything she’s told you about me or the two of us is lies. I swear.”
“Even if I believed you,” Jana said, “I could care less what you do with Susan or any other female who catches your eye, as long as it isn’t me!”
“That’s the problem; you’re the only one who does appeal to me. I’m having a terrible time deciding how to handle such an impossible predicament. Am I a fool to sell an untested product?” He caressed her flaming cheek. “Especially such a tempting treat who does her damnedest to tantalize me.”
“I’m not enticing or tantalizing you! I’m spurning you!” she insisted.
Jana fled his tormenting embrace as gracefully as possible when the dance ended. She sought the solitude and serenity of the botanical garden. She feared to expose the fires he had ignited in her with his bold advances. She walked to the large transascreen and gazed outside. Her hand covered her mouth as if that action could still her rapid respiration and trembling.
Without her knowledge, Varian followed her. He softly accused from the shadows behind her, “I thought you had become immune to me. Was my touch so disturbing you had to flee to safety?”
Jana whirled and told him angrily, “You’re spiteful! You’re making respect and friendship impossible.” Varian strolled forward and reached out for her. Jana could only retreat a few more steps. “I hate you, you deceitful son of a bitch! Stay away from me!”
Varian pinned her against the clear wall with his brawny body. His heated gaze lazily traveled her features, then came to rest on her terrified eyes. “Do you really loathe me, Jana?” Varian challenged. “Why do you keep tempting me if you want to be left alone?” His hands captured her face between them. His head lowered and he kissed her thoroughly. His tongue parted her resisting lips and invaded her mouth. Before he initiated his final strategy he needed to savor her sweetness one last time.
The kiss was tender and enticing. Jana struggled to stifle the flames which he sparked. She could not. Why fight a losing battle? His magic was too great for her. Her arms encircled his back. She pressed her slender body close to his powerful frame, surrendering her lips and her will to him.
Varian retained his rigid self-control with great difficulty as he hungrily claimed her eager mouth time after time. His hands wandered over her lithe body, caressing and exploring fiery curves. His lips left hers to plant light kisses over her face and throat. The urge to take her was almost too painful to bear. Damnation! A real affair between them now was too dangerous. It was too late to halt the scheme he had put in motion. His coded messages had been sent; her publicity was circulating. The last thing he needed to battle was her offer of love, which would surely defeat him. This little moonbeam must not be allowed to shine on him. It was too late…
Jana lay her face against his shoulder. Without the torment of his lips on hers, she sudde
nly comprehended what was taking place. She sensed his gradual withdrawal. “I thought you were immune to me. Your pounding heart and unbridled passion claim you aren’t, my dashing space pirate. Why fight such powerful desires? Can you deny you want to hold me in your arms and kiss me? Perhaps you crave to seduce me? Do I drive you as wild with hunger as you do me?” she inquired, sensuously passing her tongue over her lips as she provocatively rubbed her body against his.
Jana’s hands boldly roved his chest and arms, then slid down his waist and brazenly wandered over the proof of his arousal. She murmured, “Despite your aversion to me and your resolve to sell me, you cannot ignore me or resist me, can you? If you do not find me irresistible, why do you pursue me and force your attentions on me? Why do you torture yourself by enflaming your desires, then cruelly deny them?” Her palm slipped over the hard declaration of his passion.
When he stiffened and groaned, she smiled triumphantly and demanded, “Will you pine over my loss while another man sates his desires with the body you captured and crave? Or will you forget your stupid pride and make me your charl? Claim me tonight, or don’t come near me again. I warn you, if you do not take me while you can, I will haunt you forever.”
Varian glared at her with piercing eyes. The truth in her words rankled him beyond control. “I suggest you return to your quarters immediately and think over your precarious position and treacherous tongue. I will not tolerate such wanton behavior or immodest speech ever again.”
“If we can’t yield to this attraction between us, then keep your word, Commander, and leave me alone,” Jana replied.
After her departure, Varian slammed his fist against the wall so violently that it rumbled in protest and his hand smarted. He swore angrily as he rubbed it. He raged at the fates and demanded they coerce Ryker into answering his challenge. Once and for all, this lethal and bitter rivalry must end, end before this radiant moonbeam was lost to him forever!
Varian was testy in private. He paced restlessly and aimlessly to relieve the tautness and fury he did not as yet understand. The closer they got to the Milky Way barrier and Jana’s auction, the blacker his mood.
Kara and Martella watched helplessly. The strain was obvious to Tristan and Nigel too. They fearfully waited for the tempest they knew was soon to come. It was a struggle for them to keep silent, with their friend and with the vulnerable Earthling. Another person was also watching this tormenting drama unfold. The traitorous lieutenant wondered if everyone but Jana and Varian were aware of the depth of their feelings…
One afternoon, Tristan had been with Jana in the library on the second deck, explaining several advanced techniques in research. He still hoped to gain her help as his temporary assistant until they orbited Rigel. Wanting to discuss a new experiment with her, he left to get a book he needed from his laboratory. But it took much longer than expected.
Jana was standing beside one of the bookshelves. She was completely engrossed in a fascinating illustrated collection of legends and myths. She did not hear the door open and close behind her.
Varian halted as he recognized the woman with her back to him. He glared at the book in his tight grip: Alien Biology: Mating, Reproduction, and Birth Control by Cassin Tern. Varian did not stop to think Jana couldn’t read his language. Fury attacked him at being caught with this particular book, by this particular woman, especially after having spent the last few hours responding to calls about her from prospective buyers. He lay the book facedown in a chair. The spring snapped swiftly and violently…
“Attention!” the flinty voice thundered into the tranquil silence.
Jana jumped and whirled around, dropping her book to the floor.
“I think it’s time we straighten out your insolent and rebellious conduct, my smug little Earthling,” Varian gritted out between clenched teeth.
A tic in his jawline warned her of enormous anger, which was directed at her for some curious reason. “Commander, I—” she hesitantly began.
“Silence!” he shouted before she could continue. He cursed himself for dangling this woman before the rapacious appetites of all the men in his galaxy. How could he possibly refuse to sell her without revealing himself? His friends had warned him to beware of his scheme against Ryker. He wanted Jana fiercely; that alone prevented him from being able to have her.
“But I want—” She tried to argue, to explain.
Varian roughly pulled her to within inches of his taut body. “Silence!”
Her terrified eyes widened. Jana clamped her lips together and tried to still her trembling. Tears of pain and alarm glistened in her sea-water eyes as she awaited his next action or word. She was at a total loss to understand his attack. He was never like this with the others!
He knew what he was about to say and do was brutal, but he had no choice. He must turn Jana against him. “I am weary of your flirtatious, arrogant manner, Jana. You have pushed me too hard. I made a grave mistake in telling you how valuable you are. You forget yourself and place, alien charl! I’m the master here. You’ve done your damnedest to embarrass me before my crew and the other captives. Cease your defiance or I’ll punish you as severely as Sylva,” he rashly threatened in the heat of his anger.
Tears escaped her eyes and eased down her flushed cheeks. Could this be the same man who had held her in his arms and kissed her so passionately, who had made her very soul sing with joy and desire! How had she so misjudged him? Just above a hoarse whisper she solemnly asked, “How can you accuse me of such lies? Why do you hate me, Varian?”
He stared down into her face with its brave, resigned expression. He hastily released her as if her flesh had liquefied into acid and was eating into his hand. Jana lowered her head and wept. Varian tensed. Did she actually believe he—My stars! he fumed. What am I doing to her? Varian was a man who normally had himself and every situation under rigid control. He was known for his cool head and steel nerves. He had unknowingly allowed this fragile creature to eat away that cool exterior and the rigid control. He had struck out blindly in his frustration.
“Freshen your hair and face, then return to your quarters, Jana,” he said in a softened, controlled tone. We’ll discuss this matter later.”
Jana pulled a towel from a holder and wet it. She wiped her face and eyes as she brought her tears under control. She took several deep breaths and drank water to remove the painful lump in her throat and chest. She instinctively knew this man was deeply troubled, and she had something to do with it.
The door swished open as a cheerful Tristan strolled in, apologizing for his delay in returning. He fell into anxious silence as the black aura in the room touched him. He caught the look of surprise in Varian’s eyes at his unexpected appearance. Varian’s guilty gaze went to Jana. Discontent showed in his eyes.
Jana came forward. “We’ll discuss it another time, Dr. Zarcoff. It’s very late, and I’ve obviously committed some intolerable error.” She stared oddly at Varian. “I’m tired of you harassing and tempting me all the time, Commander Saar. I’m doing my best to adjust to your people and this situation. Evidently you lied when you said you would be my friend. If you continue to treat me like some savage sport, be prepared to carry out your threat, because Sylva will appear a docile cat when compared to me.” She exited gracefully and proudly.
Tristan was first to recover his wits. “Great stars, Varian! Why?”
“I’ll be damned if I even know myself, Tris. This situation provokes the very devil in me. Half the time I don’t know what I’m saying or doing when she’s around,” he admitted peevishly.
“I see,” Tristan muttered in obvious irritation.
“Do you? Then how about enlightening me?”
“Don’t you have any idea why you feel so angry and resentful toward her? Don’t you know why you pick on her?”
“What do you mean, Tris?” he inquired.
Tristan chuckled. “You said it yourself. You’ve never known a woman like Jana before. Could it be thoughts of her coming
fate bother you more than you’d like to admit? Could it be resentment at being unable to start something which has no future? Could it be you regret dangling her under Ryker’s nose? Could it be the light of love and jealousy I see burning in those stormy eyes of yours?”
Varian silenced him with a scowl. “That would be pure insanity.”
“If you say so,” Tristan skeptically quipped.
“I do say so! Forget such absurd ideas,” he ordered as those forbidden thoughts lingered to trouble his mind.
“You should know your feelings better than anyone,” Tristan replied with a mocking smile and light chuckle. “Jana’s smart and brave, Varian. Why don’t you seek her help in defeating Ryker? Wouldn’t it be easier and nicer to work with her, than to work against her?”
Varian laughed. “Are you serious, or as crazy as I’m getting? If she knew the truth about me or Ryker, she might blow this case for revenge. Have you forgotten we abducted her and she’s ignorant of her world’s fate?”
“Why not offer her freedom for her assistance? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to spend the rest of the voyage getting to know her and enjoying her?”
“If Jana helped me entrap Ryker or revealed her feelings for me, she wouldn’t be alive ten minutes after we left orbit. If it wasn’t Ryker after her, it would be another Saar adversary. You know I can’t take on the responsibility of a mate. A Star Fleet officer can’t keep a woman on his ship and I don’t have the authority to free her. If it wasn’t for those charl laws…Dammit, too many people know about her; everybody knows about her! Kahala, this timing with Jana couldn’t be worse!”
“And that, Rogue Saar, explains your behavior. But don’t you think it’s time to stop punishing Jana for matters beyond either your or her control?” Tristan said, holding up the book and nodding to it. “As Jana’s captor and seller, you’re placing the blame for her unfortunate destiny on the wrong shoulders.”
Moondust And Madness Page 18