by Ni-Ni Simone
“Heck no. You know better than that. I don’t think you’re desperate and neither does he.” I turned over and leaned forward, propped on both elbows. “But believe me, he really wants to go out with you. After I won the game, he said, ‘Tell your cousin to be ready at seven o’clock.’”
Yvette picked up her pink beeper and looked at the time. “Then you better hurry up and shower. It’s six-thirty.”
“Yvette.”
“Isis, I’m not going.”
“Well, I’m not going either. Bump that.”
“Chick, please. Fresh is a cute D-boy wit’ some dough. And you need to top your birthday off by spending it with him.”
“I had a dope birthday spending it with my crew.”
“Yeah, well, spending time with your crew is one thing, but spending time with the illest player around is another thing. Unless, of course you secretly over there waitin’ on K-Rock to slide through.” She paused, and cocked her neck to the side. “We both know he’s your real crush groove.”
“Slow down, low down. Relax. K-Rock is a’ight. But that’s it. He ain’t slangin’ no more, so around here that means he’s—”
“Broke as joke.”
“Exactly. He done fell off and turned into some college boy. What I look like to you—?”
“Like you might be hung up on Mr. College.”
I just stared at Yvette long and hard, ’cause it seemed she forgot that I was the cousin who would kick her right in the throat for talking slick. I mean... I was checkin’ for K-Rock, a little bit. He was cute and all, but that’s as far as it went. “Yvette, don’t make me bring out the almighty Isis on you.”
She fell out laughing. “Look, you can sit over there and fantasize about Ke’Ron ‘K-Rock’ ‘College Boy’ Green or you can drop the thoughts about that zero and get wit’ a hero. And anyway, do you know how being seen on Fresh’s arm is gon’ elevate your birthday to stupid dumb dope? Word up, you straight played out if you don’t go.”
“So you want me to be a faker? A sucker? A gold digger. Knowin’ I don’t like this dude but going out with him just ’cause he’s a baller?”
Yvette looked at me like I had lost my mind. “Why you lyin’? You was cheesin’ just as hard as he was. And that’s cool. It ain’t like you doin’ me dirty or anything. I keep tellin’ you that it’s no sweat. So stop tryna act like you not feelin’ him. ’Cause you are.”
“You buggin’ and besides, it’s a million boys out there and I don’t need to chill with that one. I’ll pass.”
Yvette popped her lips. “That’s on you. But ain’t no need to front for me, ’cause from where I’m sittin’, we in the same boat and don’t neither one of us have nothin’. And what little we do have, I stole.”
“What does that have to do with anything? Or are you sayin’ again that I should use him?”
“I’m sayin’ you need to have fun and hit the streets. Stop worrying about me, ’cause I’ma do me. All day. Now if you don’t wanna go, then don’t. But personally, I’ma think you stupid for staying here.”
“Stupid?”
“Real dumb. Here you got a moneymaker tryna kick it to you and you frontin’ like a church whore.”
I hesitated, a part of me was kind of ticked that Yvette was coming at me all crazy, but she was right. I was feelin’ Fresh. “You sure you wouldn’t care? It really wouldn’t matter?”
“Umm, no. That’s what I keep sayin’ to you. Now getcho butt up and go get fly.”
I hopped up from my bed and slapped my feet on the floor. “I don’t even know what to wear.”
“That neon-pink and black striped mini dress with the fishnet gloves I got you.”
My eyes grew bright with excitement. “That dress is sooooo ill.”
“Of course it is. I picked it out.” She snapped her fingers. “Now hurry up and go shower so I can do your hair and makeup.”
23
Lover girl
“And just where the hell is yo’ lil fresh behind goin’?” Nana snapped the moment I stepped into the living room and strutted past her and toward the front door. “Yo’ fast tail ain’t asked me for permission to go nowhere.” She stood up from her recliner and slid her Keds, with the broken-down heel, onto her feet.
Psst. Please. I ain’t never asked you for permission to do nothin’, not even live here. I rolled my eyes to the ceiling and it crossed my mind that I didn’t really owe this musty tramp an explanation. And technically, I could ignore her bearilla behind. But I didn’t. “I’m goin’ out.” I turned and faced her.
“Out where, heifer?” she asked, with her mouth twisted.
“Out. Side.”
“Out. Side. Where, streetwalker?”
“Out. Side. The. Door.”
She shoved a hand up on her hip and tapped a foot.
I placed my hand on the knob and twisted it.
She continued, “So you just gon’ walk up outta here anyway. You don’t give a rat’s behind what I say.”
Silence.
“This is exactly why I can’t stand y’all asses. I curse the day yo’ whorin’ mama and drunk daddy ran off without you. And I’ll be glad when they come back to get you and whoever Yvette’s parents really is come and collect her too. And don’t think I don’t know she out there hustlin’ and stealin’ clothes!” she yelled loud enough for the whole house to hear. “And my guess is, wit’ that stolen dress crawled up yo’ butt, that you takin’ up yo’ mama and daddy ho business. I tell you what though, don’t come back in here wit’ no HIV and no secret babies. ’Cause the next retarded moth-ersucker that crosses that door will be donated to the state and you can believe that.”
“Is that it?”
“What the . . . ?” Nana rushed over toward me and stepped two feet into my personal space. “What do you mean, is that it? Is what it?”
I sighed. I shoulda just left, now this trick is blocking the door. “Is that it?” I arched a brow. “Are you finished? I’ve heard this allllll before. ’Cause you keep saying it. I don’t need to hear it again. So yeah, is that it? Are you done or are you gon’ add your famous line about how you shoulda put a foot up our behinds a long time ago? Or you gon’ save that for when I come back?”
“See, yo’ frickin’ attitude is the very reason why you ain’t gon’ be no more than that whore and that wino who made you. Matter of fact, you might be less than that. Gon’ stand up in my face, like you grown as me. I don’t care if it’s your birthday. All I care about is how soon you gon’ be eighteen so you can get up and outta here. You up in here eatin’ my food, runnin’ my bills up, and you think you gon’ talk grown to me—”
“You act like you don’t get no money for us. Me and Yvette both on your welfare grant, and you not gon’ put us out no time soon, ’cause then you won’t get that money. So chill and back away from the door.”
Nana squinted and for a moment I just knew she was about to slap me, but she didn’t. “I don’t care whatchu do.” She sat back down in her chair. “Just be back in this house at a decent hour or the chain will be up and you will be sleepin’ out there in the courtyard.”
“Yeah, okay.” I didn’t even toss a look her way. I just twisted the knob and walked out. A few moments later, I stepped off the elevator and into the courtyard, where Fresh was leanin’ against the passenger side of a kitted-up black Maxima. The car was just as fly as he was. Windows tinted. System bumpin’. Rims shinin’.
Fresh wore a plum-colored linen dress shirt, tucked into a pair of dark gray and black two-tone jeans, showcasing his black MCM belt. A thick herringbone chain hung around his collar, and black shades shielded his eyes.
Dang, he is ill.
Fine.
Fly.
Stupid fresh.
He is so fresh I see why they call him Fresh.
Chill. Dudes can smell when you sweatin’ ’em.
So relax.
Suck your stomach in.
Chew on the gum in your mouth extra hard to make sure your bre
ath is straight, but try not to suck all the mint out.
You got this.
“Surprise.” I stood before him and smiled.
Fresh lifted his shades, covered his mouth, and laughed.
“What’s funny?” I popped my lips and put on a fake attitude, anything to keep from smiling.
“Nothing’s funny.” He softly flicked my chin.
“Then why are you laughin’?”
“’Cause . . . you got game, you know that? What happened to your cousin?”
“What? You want me to go and get her?” I pointed over my shoulder to Da Bricks. “’Cause I can.”
“Chill, boo. You know I don’t want that. No disrespect. She’s cute and all, but I’m diggin’ you. I just showed up to keep my word. The most Yvonne would’ve gotten outta me—”
“It’s Yvette.”
“Okay. Well the most Yvette would’ve gotten outta me was a trip to Burger King. I woulda let her get a large fry and a shake, and then dropped her off.”
“Daaaaaang, it’s like that? You wouldn’t even get my cousin a whopper?”
“A’ight. And a whopper. Then I would’ve come back tomorrow to see what was up witchu.”
I laughed. “And I would’ve sent you home too. Me and my cousin don’t share boos. Once she went out with you, that would’ve been a wrap.”
“Word? So I guess it’s a good thing you switched places with her tonight then.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. ’Cause if your idea of a fly date is Burger King, then maybe I need to rethink some things. After all, it is my birthday. Can I get a steak at least? Dang.”
He boldly placed his hands on my hips. “If you stick with me, you can get anything you want. So come on and tell me where you’ve always wanted to go.” He opened the car’s passenger-side door and I slid in.
I did all I could not to smile, but I couldn’t fight it a moment longer, so as he draped one arm over my seat and drove off with the other, I let my smile blossom and let Da Bricks disappear behind me.
24
Cold chillin’
“How’s your steak, baby?”
“It tastes just like cotton candy.” I giggled as I leaned over and let my head fall into the crook of Fresh’s neck, his cologne filling my nose. We were in New York City, at the circus. The freakin’ circus and I couldn’t believe it! When Fresh asked me to tell him someplace I’d always wanted to go, I knew I couldn’t say to find Queenie, so I said, “The circus.”
“The circus?” He blinked, as if he expected me to say anything but that. “You’ve never been to the circus?”
“Nope. Unless you count what goes on in Da Bricks. Other than that I have never been.”
He smiled, nodded, and took off for the highway. “No sweat. You ain’t said nothin’ but a word.”
“I hope you’re having a good time,” Fresh said, intertwining his fingers with mine, as the ringmaster performed hoop tricks with the lions. “’Cause this is all for you.”
“I’m having a great time.” I squealed, now watching the lions lie down and roll over. “Chilling here with you is like . . . straight illmatic. The illest matic. The ultimate.”
“Illmatic? Chillin’ with me is like illmatic?” Fresh stared, as if he couldn’t believe that. “What? You a rapper?”
“Yop.”
“So what they call you?”
“God the MC.”
“Yeah, a’ight, that’s Rakim.”
“Okay, well then, I’m Goddess the MC.” I paused. “What? You wanna hear me rhyme?”
“No.”
I heard what he said, but I broke out into a freestyle anyway. I pointed my left hand like a gun and shook it. “Check it. One time for your mind. I left my wallet in El Segundo and I left my pick inside my afro.”
“Ohhhhhh, hold up. Look atchu. Wait a minute, let me drop some beats in it.” He cupped his hands on the sides of his mouth and popped the dopest human beatbox I’d ever heard before. I think he even had Doug E. Fresh beat.
I jumped up and out of my seat in excitement. “Yooooo, you did that! Oh my God! I’ma start calling you Hip-Hop.” I did the Pac-Man dance.
“Shhhhhhh!” The woman in front of us turned completely around and looked at us like she was seconds from calling security.
“You shhhhh!” I swerved my neck. “You don’t shhhh me. I not one of them funny-lookin’ kids you got sittin’ there. Now turn back around.”
Fresh laughed. “My bad,” he said to the lady and then looked at me and said, “No, baby, chill. You know we loud.”
“And? So? That beatbox was hot though.” I retook my seat.
“I know, right.” He draped an arm over my shoulders. “But we need to watch the show.”
Lions, tigers, bears, white horses, and elephants all performed stunts I never knew they could do. Girls swung from the ceiling, hanging by their hair. Unicycles were everywhere. A woman was sawed in half and then put back together. A man shoved a stick of fire down his throat. A midget flew out of a cannon, and before the show was over, twenty clowns climbed out of a Volkswagen.
By the time the ringmaster brought the show to a close, I just knew Fresh would be the perfect boyfriend. I didn’t wanna seem desperate though, so I was not about to ask him when we could chill again. I was just gon’ pray he told me. And sooooon!
“This has been the perfect night,” I said, as we pulled up in front of Da Bricks.
“Yeah, this was decent,” Fresh said, shifting his car in park. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, baby. ’Cause I definitely enjoyed you.”
“For real?”
“Yeah.” He flicked my chin. “I like you. A lot. And I can’t wait for us to do this again.”
Again! He said do this again! Chill. Calm down.
My heart skipped three beats and I was seconds from wiping invisible sweat off my face.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Now speak. “Awww. That is soooo sweet.” I tried to contain my blush, but couldn’t. I reached for his right hand and braided our fingers together. “I can’t wait for us to do this again either. Just let me know when and I’ll be waiting for you.”
He smiled. “So, Isis. Tell me something.”
“Whatchu wanna know?”
“Tell me what’s up with you?”
“Whatchu mean?”
“What’s good with you? Tell me what you’re about.”
Immediately my eyes sank into my lap. I’d never really thought about what I was about. What did that even mean? All I knew is that my yesterday was a world away from my today; and I had to deal with it. Period. “That’s a interestin’ question.” I shrugged. “I never been asked that before.... I’m a good person. If that’s what you’re asking me. I got a good heart. But I’m thorough, I was raised to be down by law, and I ain’t gon’ let nobody cross me. Like that’s not gon’ go down. Not easily. I’m loyal and I can’t wait for the day that I can get up and outta this rat trap.”
“So what, you don’t like where you live at?”
“Heck no. I used to love living here, but after my brother got killed, things changed. My family went their separate ways. And I’ve been staying with my grandmother ever since.”
“Damn.” He looked taken aback. “I’m real sorry to hear about your brother. What happened?”
A moment of awkward silence slipped in, then I changed the subject. “So now, Fresh, it’s your turn. Tell me whatchu about.”
Fresh looked into my eyes. “I’m the realest dude you ever gon’ meet. I’m loyal. I run these streets. And I don’t give my heart easily. I’ma always be here if you need me. Money is not an object, and as long as you belong to me, then I’ma give you the world. You think one day, after we get to know each other a little more, you could rock with that?”
I can rock with that right now. Today. At this moment. Whaaaaaaat, we don’t have to wait. Bump. That. Let’s do this right now. “Yeah.” I nodded. “After we get to know each other, I’m sure I could rock with that.” I was
tryin’ hard not to grin from ear to ear. But it was such a freakin’ struggle that it’s a wonder I didn’t break my jaw tryna hold my cheeks back. “You’re pretty dope, you know that?” I slid my arms around his neck.
“Is that so?”
“Umm hmm.” I bravely pressed my lips onto his. “Now it’s one more thing I wanna know.”
“What’s that?”
“How dope are your kisses?”
“You tell me,” he whispered against my lips, sliding his sweet tongue into my mouth and filling it with honey.
25
My buddy
Ms. Crabtree, I know that you’re not mad at me ’cause I told you . . . blasted from some kid’s boom box, as I walked out and into the courtyard. It had been a month since I’d hung out here. I’d been with Fresh day in and day out. Cold chillin’ at his apartment. We shared blunts, popped champagne bottles just because, and even though I didn’t have a license or a permit, he taught me how to drive his car.
There was even some nights, while he laid back and relaxed, watching TV, that he let me supervise the two naked chicks who cooked up his coke and turned it into crack.
And once I showed him that I knew how to properly weigh out and bag up ounces of weed, Fresh dismissed the chicks he had doing it and appointed me.
There was only one problem: Fresh hadn’t made me his girl, yet. And I wasn’t feelin’ that. I needed a title and I deserved one. But since it seemed that he was comfortable with the definition of what we was s’pose to be dangling in the air, I knew I had to switch things up. So, this afternoon, when he woke up, the only thing he would find on the pillow next to him would be a freshly rolled blunt.
And that’s it. ’Cause until he put a label on us, I was gon’ take a step back, come home to Da Bricks, and chill wit’ my clique.
“Where the heck have you been, heifer?” Cali said, as I walked over to the park bench where she sat.
I scooted next to her and kissed her on both of her rosy cheeks. “I missed you,” I said, hugging her tightly.