“I don’t know how to love.” She hiccupped between sobs. “I’ve never been loved.”
“Not true. You’re loved by everyone in town. While you don’t think you deserve love, everyone else can see that you do. Look at what you did for Will.”
“I didn’t love him. I didn’t know him.”
“You loved him enough as a human to save him. That’s love, Natalie. Bask in it.”
She opened the door, and they entered the house. “Thank you for always knowing what to say.”
He grinned. “I’d like to say it’s my job, but with you”—he tapped his chest—“it comes from my heart and not my head.” He kissed her long and deep, hoping to show her how worthy of being loved she was. If he didn’t keep things in check, he’d be head over heels in love with her already, but he was leaving, and that kind of love wouldn’t serve either of them well. He’d convinced himself that what he felt for her was the same love he felt for humanity. That was his lie.
“It’s like Christmas out there.”
“Shall we bring in the presents and open them?”
Chapter Seventeen
Natalie rearranged the throw pillows on the couch again. They were part of the bounty left on the porch, along with a crocheted throw.
“You okay?”
She walked to the window and peeked behind the curtains. “No.” She looked down the hallway to where Will’s door sat open. From where she stood, she could see him lying on his bed reading the newest Harry Potter book Jake had brought him. “What if they take him?”
He walked to where she paced the floor in front of the window. “They won’t take him.” He opened his arms, and she gladly fell into them.
Jake had been her rock. He’d spent every night that week helping her make the house into a home. She couldn’t believe it was the same place.
“How do you know?”
“Why would they remove him from his family who loves him and cares for him?”
“Love?” She shook her head. “It’s not about that.”
“Don’t fool yourself. Look at what you’ve done here.”
She glanced around the house. It was straight out of a shabby chic magazine. Maybe shabbier than chic, but it felt like a home.
“You can give the kid a home, but a home without love is not a home.” He hugged her tighter to his chest. “This sure feels like a home. If you didn’t care for him, you wouldn’t worry that they’d take him. He used to live with a crack dealing father who had a line of prostitutes out the door waiting to provide whatever service they could for their next fix. Do you think he felt loved there?”
“He told you that?” It shocked her that they’d shared so much.
“He told us both about the crack ho, but he’s been opening up to me, and I can tell you that being here is far better than anywhere he’s lived. And having heard his story, I’m shocked he’s as stable as he is. That’s a testament to his strength.”
She smiled. “I guess we got something good from our dad. Maybe a backbone of steel.”
“Are you going to pace the floor like a caged animal, or kiss me?”
She rubbed her face. “I’m going to kiss you.” She glanced at the old clock sitting on the mantel. Peter Larkin had brought it over yesterday. He told her to put it somewhere she could see it to remind her that time passes too quickly. She thought it was a sweet gesture until he told her she could also use it to time her man’s stamina. “Will you stay with me for a while longer?”
He tilted her chin. “I’m not leaving you. I’ll stay with you forever.”
Those words hugged her heart. She knew he meant he’d stay for now and not a lifetime, but she let herself dream for a moment about a life together. A life where they lived in this house and walked to the bookstore hand in hand each morning. He could take his coaching calls in the office while she manned the counter. Once school started, Will could get off the bus and come straight to the Book Nook to do his homework and bury himself into the corner bean bag he loved.
On Wednesdays, he’d do his Winding Down with Will event, and the kids from the town would gather in the corner to listen to him read.
“What brought that smile to your face?”
She hadn’t realized she was smiling. “Just thinking about the future. It’s not wise to plan too far ahead, but sometimes I let myself.”
He brushed his lips across hers. “It’s okay to dream.”
“That’s all it is—a dream.” She moved over to the couch and plopped down, messing up the perfectly aligned pillows. “Tell me about your dreams.”
He took the seat beside her. “They’ve changed over the years. A brush with death can do that to a person.”
“I’m sure, but most people who have a close call don’t work harder, they usually think about family and stuff like that.”
He settled in and tugged her to his side. “Jenny left me when she found out I had a life-threatening disease. She said she couldn’t invest the time to build a relationship only to have me die on her.”
She sat up to look at him. That old hurt still lingered in his eyes. “You’re shitting me.”
“Nope, she left the week after my diagnosis, and I never saw her again.” He chuckled. “I got a postcard from her five years later. She was on her honeymoon and said she was thinking of me and hoped I was doing well.”
“Awful. That’s why I don’t let myself get too attached.” She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. She breathed him in. When he left, that was one thing she’d miss. The smell of him always calmed her.
“Getting attached isn’t the problem. Getting hurt is the issue. Be wise in your choices, and you might end up okay. I didn’t choose wisely.”
“That’s why you don’t choose. Not letting someone into your heart is safer.” She placed her hand over his chest. “That’s what makes us a perfect fit. Neither one of us expects anything more than what we’ve got at the moment.”
“You’re too young to be so cynical.”
She made a motorboating sound with her lips. “I’m only six years younger than you, but I feel a million years older.”
“You’ve been through a lot. I imagine at six you were already thirty in your soul.” He kissed the top of her head. “What about you? Have you ever been in love?”
“Once, or so I thought.” She breathed in and exhaled. “There was a high school boy who wooed me until I gave him my virginity, then he wooed the next stupid girl. I think he had a jar where he collected the tears of all the girls he deflowered.”
“Shit. I’m sorry. Don’t let one asshole ruin love for you.”
“It was a long time ago. I’m not pining for him. It is what it is. If you ask me, love is overrated. I think it’s a feeling that starts in your sex organs and inhibits the flow of oxygen to the brain.”
“Not true; love can be amazing when it’s with the right person.”
The squeak of brakes had her bolting from the couch to look out the window. “Oh my God, she’s here.” Feeling light-headed, she bent over so the blood could rush to her head.
“Do you want me to stay?”
“Yes … no … I don’t know. What’s better?”
“I’ll stay.”
A knock sounded at the door. She moved toward it, taking several deep breaths. She dried her sweaty palms on her slacks and pasted on her well-practiced smile before she opened the door and stepped aside.
“Welcome to our home.” It was weird to say those words. She’d lived many places, but none had ever felt like home. She glanced around at the furnishings. The townsfolk had set her up nicely with everything from dishes to bar soap, but it wasn’t the things in the house that made it feel homey, it was the people. The solid presence that others brought with it. That was something she couldn’t buy.
“Good afternoon, Natalie. Thank you for sending me your new address.” She glanced over her shoulder at the yard. It was mostly mowed weeds, but that was next on her list. Sheriff Cooper had visited two da
ys ago and told her he’d help her on the weekend. Apparently, he loved to garden and was happy to volunteer his rake and hoe.
“We are working on the house a little at a time. I’ve had a lot of help from the community. The yard is next.”
Fran Dougherty walked inside with a clipboard in her hand. “I’m surprised at the progress you’ve made.”
She didn’t know how to take that. Had she expected her to fail? “I can do anything once I put my mind to it.”
Fran scratched some notes on her clipboard and looked up. Her smile broadened when she noticed Jake.
“And who might this be?”
He moved in to offer his hand for a shake. “I’m Jake Powers, a friend of Natalie’s.”
She hadn’t had many friends in her life, and deep inside, she knew Jake was one. He’d been there for her when many would have bailed. He’d held her while she cried. Wiped her tears away and kissed her until her insides glowed with happiness. Yes, Jake was definitely a friend.
“You’re not that Jake Powers, are you?” Fran pulled her phone out and queued his book up on her Kindle App. “I love this book.” She turned the screen to Natalie. “Have you read Love the Life You Live?”
She shook her head. “I don’t have to read his words; he’s here every day to dole out his wit and wisdom.”
“Lucky girl.” She smiled back at Jake. “You’re far more handsome in person.”
Natalie stepped back to watch the exchange, and jealousy burned at her insides. She had no real claim to Jake, but while he was in Aspen Cove, she considered him to be hers.
“You’re too kind.” He moved beside Natalie and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “Did you want a tour of the house, or would you prefer to go about it on your own? I was about to make tea. I can make it for three if you’d like.”
Natalie wanted to kick his shin. Tea would only extend the visit, and what she wanted was Fran Dougherty to fill out her report and be gone.
“I’d love tea.” Fran glanced at Natalie after a long stare at Jake. “Shall we?”
“Absolutely.” She twirled around. “This is the living room.” She brushed by Jake and went to the kitchen. It still had harvest-gold appliances, but with the addition of eyelet curtains and a sunflower picture hanging above the kitchen table, it looked purposeful—like the color scheme was supposed to be retro 70s. “And the kitchen.”
Fran pointed to the refrigerator. “May I?”
“Of course.” She wasn’t worried this time around. Another trip to Copper Creek with Jake had filled her cupboards and refrigerator full of everything from block cheese to spinach.
Jake brushed past her. “I’ll get the tea ready.” He leaned in and whispered, “Relax.”
“That one’s a keeper,” Fran said. “A man who makes tea is a good find.”
“Oh, I’m not keeping him. He’s only in town for a bit.”
Fran frowned. “Too bad. I bet he’s been a good influence on Will.” She jotted more notes on the page attached to her clipboard. “Is Will home?”
“He’s in his room reading.”
Fran’s eyes opened wide. “By choice, or is he in trouble?”
Natalie laughed. “I think he found his love of reading because he got sent to his room while his father … I mean, our father did business. But he’s reading by choice. Now that I’m managing the bookstore in town, he has lots of opportunities to exercise his passion.” She told Fran about his reading nook for the kids, and how the town had embraced having him. “He spends one afternoon a week at the fire station, and one day a week on a ranch outside of town where he’s learning about horses and bees.”
“Interesting.”
They walked into Will’s room.
“Hey Will, how’s it going?”
He stuck a bookmark inside to keep his page and set the book on his comforter. “It’s awesome. Do you see my room?”
She walked around the space. “It’s a great room.”
It was Natalie’s favorite space with its blue walls and red accents. The bunk bed took up half the room, and the dresser and desk took up the other half. On the walls, Will had taped pictures he’d drawn of the things he loved about Aspen Cove, like Cade’s horse Sable, and Bowie Bishop’s boat dock that Will had visited last week. He’d even drawn a stick figure of her. Albeit, the resemblance was not good except for her smile, which she seemed to do a lot more lately.
“Who’s the dog?” Fran pointed to the rough sketch of Otis, Sage and Cannon’s dog, who had three legs.
“That’s Otis. He’s a tripod, but he doesn’t know it. His best friend is Bishop, who still has puppy brains. Sometimes Clovis is around, but he’s fat and waddles from place to place until his owner Trig picks him up.” Will’s eyes grew bright. “Trig is missing a leg below his knee. He’s a war hero, and he has twin boys. They’re still babies, though, so they aren’t much fun.”
“Sounds like you’re fitting in around here.”
He lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “Sure. Everyone is nice.” He frowned. “Everyone but Dr. Lydia. I mean, she’s nice, but she likes to give shots.”
Fran turned to Natalie. “You have his immunizations complete? What about registering for school?”
“I called the school, but we have to wait until August to register. He’s also scheduled next month for the dentist.” There wasn’t one in town, but Copper Creek had plenty of them to choose from.
Fran made a few more notes and turned back toward the hallway. She did a cursory check of the remaining rooms and headed straight for Jake and tea.
“Everything good?” Jake asked. He’d set the table for four. On a plate, in the center, he’d placed the muffins Katie had brought by, and the honey Abby sent over with Will.
“I think so.” Natalie looked at Fran with a hopeful expression. “Is everything okay?”
Fran took a seat and doctored her tea with a hefty serving of honey. “You’ve done everything I asked for and more. You must really love your brother.”
She’d never admit to that, but she liked him. He reminded her of herself when she was younger. “He’s a good kid, and I wanted to give him a chance to have a good life.”
Jake reached over and set his hand on Natalie’s. “He’s growing on her. Natalie might not admit to loving him, but she does.”
“Well, you know the saying … you can’t experience love until you love someone more than yourself.”
“I was recently told”—she looked at Jake with what she hoped was affection—“that you have to love yourself to love another.”
Will walked in. “Do I have to drink tea?” It was a half whine because, despite his complaints, Will liked tea.
“I made you some hot cocoa, bud. Your cup is on the counter. Microwave for thirty seconds, and don’t burn yourself.”
“Too bad you’re not staying, Jake, because you make a good-looking little family.”
At the mention of family, she asked Fran, “Does that mean Will can stay?”
Fran’s head began to nod before the affirmation came out. “Yes, but I’ll be back. A few weeks doesn’t represent a lifetime, but I like what I see.” She finished her tea and pushed her cup forward. “Do you want to stay with your sister, Will?”
Will took the empty seat next to Jake. “Yes, ma’am. She’s the only family I have, and I love her.”
A lump stuck in her throat. All eyes turned to her. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Looking at Will, she could see he needed to hear the words too. She forced the ball of emotion down with a swallow.
“I love you too, Will.”
They stared at each other for about ten seconds. It was the longest ten seconds of her life, but also some of the best. She had a family and telling her brother she loved him, didn’t end with the earth swallowing her up. Her eyes went to Jake. What about him? She felt the same way, but with Jake, was it love or gratitude? She couldn’t be certain.
“I’ve got to go.” Fran slid her chair out. “Best visit I’ve
had all week. Thank you for that.” She walked over to Will, who had a chocolate mustache. “You take care of your sister, too.”
“Yes, ma’am. I will.”
They walked the social worker to the door, and when she left, Will threw himself into both of their arms. The three of them stood behind the closed front door and hugged until Jake’s phone buzzed with an incoming message.
He stepped back, pulled his phone from his pocket, and smiled. “Hey Will, would you mind if I took your sister on a real date? Louise has asked you to spend the night. Eric and Brian are dying to play with you.”
“You want to take me on a date?” Natalie asked.
“You were supposed to take me, but if I waited for you to pick one, I’d be too old to walk. You said as soon as everything settled down. Looks like things are settled.”
“Do you think they have cooler Legos than we have at the bookstore?” Will asked.
“I don’t know, but you can see. If you don’t want to sleep over, then you can come to dinner with us. It is a celebration.”
Will’s nose scrunched up. “Yuck, I’ll definitely pass. I don't want to have to watch the way you look all googly-eyed at each other.” He frowned. “Just don’t do it on my bed, okay?”
“What?” Natalie asked. “We won’t do it anywhere.” She risked a glance at Jake, but his expression said otherwise. A bolt of heat pulsed through her.
“Louise will pick him up after her shift, and I’ll pick you up at six.” He ruffled Will’s hair. “Clean your face, and pack a bag.”
Will took off down the hallway.
“Are you going to order me around too?” She wasn’t offended that he took on a parental role with Will because her brother seemed to thrive around Jake. She liked the strength of a man who could step in and take charge.
He leaned in and kissed her like he owned her, and for a minute, she’d let him.
“Yes, put on your prettiest dress.” He whispered, “I’d love to try out that mattress tonight if you’re game.”
Her skin prickled with excitement. “You know me and still want me?”
“Since the day you tried to kill me with salt.” He let his hands slide down her body to grip her bottom. “Who wouldn’t want you?”
One Hundred Decisions (An Aspen Cove Small Town Romance Book 13) Page 14