Yeah, he definitely should have chosen to go into town with Beth—except that he hadn’t been invited.
And what was that about?
They’d had the “morning after” talk she insisted on, and he’d agreed with everything she’d said—even if he didn’t really agree that the night they’d spent together had been a mistake.
So why would she be mad at him?
He was tempted to ask his brothers for their take on the situation, but that would require telling them what had happened with Beth on New Year’s Eve. And though he’d never shied away from talking about his past successes with the ladies, he didn’t want Beth to become the object of their crude jokes.
Unless he’s met a woman who could actually mean something.
As Xander’s words from the night of the party echoed in his head, Wilder found himself wondering if his brother wasn’t right.
Chapter Fourteen
Late the next morning, Beth was checking her email while she waited for a fresh pot of coffee to finish brewing. She scrolled through the usual ads for sales and the junk that had managed to sneak through her spam filter. There was a note from her friend Elysia, thanking Beth for the books that she’d given to Elysia’s daughter for Christmas. Attached to the message was a picture of the nine-year-old on the sofa, still in her pajamas, with an open book in her hand. The photo was captioned: “And there were still presents to be opened!”
Beth smiled, pleased that her gift had been well received. After sending a quick reply, she resumed skimming through her inbox. Her heart jolted when, a little further down on the screen, she recognized Leighton’s email address with a subject line that read “Wayward Sister Checking In.”
She clicked on the message.
Beth—
I bet you were starting to wonder if you’d ever hear from me again. And no doubt you’re pissed about my disappearing act. I know I promised to explain, but I’m not sure I can except to say that I was living a life I never thought I wanted, and it just got to be too much. And that I’m sorry.
In case you haven’t figured it out by now (although I’m sure you have), I took Cody to his dad in Montana. (And I am at least 90% certain that Wilder Crawford is his dad.) I wish I could say I took him there because I felt guilty that I’d deprived Wilder of the opportunity to know his son, and maybe I did. The truth is, I’m not sure what I was thinking in the last few days leading up to the holiday, what compelled me to pack him up and take him so far away and then leave him behind.
Yeah, Wilder’s probably pissed at me, too. And I’m going to have to face up to that when I go back to Rust Creek Falls to get Cody. You don’t need to worry—he’s not the type of guy to take out his anger on a woman. In fact, he’s a pretty good guy, and if he decides he wants Cody to visit sometime, I wouldn’t mind. It might be good for him to spend time outdoors, maybe learn to ride a horse and stuff like that.
But I’m getting way ahead of myself now—those things can be figured out later. I just wanted to let you know that we’ll be home soon and then we can celebrate Christmas together the way we planned.
XO
L
Reading her sister’s words, Beth’s initial response was relief, then happiness and hope, followed by frustration, anger and guilt. And while she could blame Leighton’s actions for most of those conflicting feelings, the guilt was entirely her own.
“Do you want some of this?”
“What?” She glanced up to see Wilder holding the carafe of freshly brewed coffee over her mug. “Oh, um, yes. Please.”
He filled the cup she held out, then returned the pot to the warmer. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Fine.” But she set the mug down again without taking a sip. “I got an email from Leighton.”
The surprise on Wilder’s face mirrored her own response—as did the shadow of guilt that quickly followed. “You did? When?”
“Just now.”
“What does it say?”
She looked at the message again. “That she’s sorry for leaving the way she did and—” She cut herself off with a shake of her head. “Why don’t you read it yourself?”
He took the cell from her hand and dropped his gaze to the screen.
She watched him as he scanned her sister’s words, noting the flex of a muscle as he tightened his jaw—the only outward indication of any emotion, though she couldn’t begin to decipher what that emotion was.
Then he handed the phone back to her. “So she’s on her way back here to get Cody,” he noted. “And apparently she expects me to just hand him over to her, despite the way she abandoned him.”
“She is his mother,” Beth pointed out.
“She abandoned him,” he said again, his tone implacable.
“So...what are you planning to do?”
He swallowed a mouthful of coffee as he considered his response.
“I’ll apply for custody,” he decided. “I’ll call Maggie right now and make an appointment to get the paperwork started.”
She remembered him mentioning that he’d borrowed the crib from Maggie and Jesse, but she hadn’t known the woman was a lawyer. “You don’t even know for sure that you’re his father,” Beth reminded him gently.
“Do you really doubt it?” he challenged.
No, she didn’t. Not anymore. But if she admitted as much, she might as well go back to Dallas, leaving her nephew with his dad. And maybe that was what she should do.
“I thought we agreed that no decisions would be made until we had the results of the DNA test.”
“Well, if Leighton’s on her way back, it doesn’t really matter what you think,” he pointed out. “It’s between me and her and has nothing to do with you.”
Though the words felt like a physical blow, she knew Wilder hadn’t meant to be cruel. He was only speaking the truth as he saw it.
What really hurt was that he was right.
Any and all issues concerning Cody were for the little boy’s parents to figure out.
It didn’t matter that she’d dropped everything to drive halfway across the country. It didn’t matter that she’d been the one helping Wilder care for Cody these past eight days. None of that mattered because he wasn’t her child.
She was only a supporting player in this drama her sister had planned, and it was time for her to exit stage right.
* * *
Wilder knew his unthinking remark had hurt Beth. And as he watched her walk out of the room, he acknowledged that he might have chosen his words more carefully. Or maybe he’d wanted to put some distance between them. Because it had become increasingly evident to Wilder over the past several days that his feelings about the situation with Cody were being clouded by his feelings for Cody’s aunt.
And if he was smart, he would stay where he was and maintain the distance.
Instead, he followed her path up the stairs and found her in the guest room, stuffing clothes into a duffel bag.
“What are you doing?”
“I assume that’s a rhetorical question,” she said, as she struggled with the zipper.
“Why are you packing, Beth?”
“Because I think it would be best for everyone if I was gone before my sister got here.”
“Even for your nephew?” he challenged.
“You’ve proven you’re more than capable of taking care of Cody.”
“While I appreciate the vote of confidence, I’d argue that part of taking care of him is ensuring that he feels comfortable and secure,” he said. “And I’m not sure that being abandoned by his aunt—barely more than a week after being abandoned by his mother—would do much in that regard.”
“I would never abandon him,” Beth said fiercely.
“You came here with the intention of taking him back to Dallas, and now you’re preparing to leave without him—what would you call it?”
<
br /> “Getting out of the way so that what happened between us won’t be an obstacle to Cody’s parents getting back together,” she told him.
His brows drew together then. “Is that what you want?”
“I want what’s best for Cody,” she said, refusing to look at him.
“Me and Leighton together would not be best for Cody. And I can assure you, there is absolutely zero chance of that ever happening, anyway.”
She swallowed. “Please don’t say that. Don’t close the door on—”
“Zero,” he said again, his tone gentle but firm. “Because for me and Leighton to get back together, we would have had to be together in the first place.”
She frowned at that. “You’re saying you weren’t together?”
“We had some good times and we had sex,” he acknowledged bluntly.
“Oh.”
“I’m not proud of it, but I’m not going to lie and pretend it was more than it was.”
“I’m in no position to judge,” she acknowledged. “I fell into bed with you, too, with no expectations of happily-ever-after...or even a kiss the morning after.”
His gaze slid away. “I left your bed because I heard you talking to Cody over the baby monitor, saying you needed to get some sleep.”
“How very considerate of you,” she noted, her tone just a little bit cool.
“And maybe I didn’t want to deal with my father’s questions, if he found me leaving your room in the early hours of morning.”
“Or my questions,” she guessed.
“You told me it was a mistake,” he reminded her.
“Because it was,” she said again.
“So why are you giving me grief about it now?”
“Because I wanted you to say that it wasn’t.”
She looked as surprised by the blurted revelation as he felt.
“Beth,” he began, then faltered.
She closed her eyes and sighed. “Sorry. Forget I said that.”
“I’m not sure I even understand what you said,” he admitted. “Are you saying that it wasn’t a mistake?”
“No, it was,” she said. “Of course, it was. I mean, you have a history with my sister—even if it was brief and apparently insignificant. And what happened between us...it was just two lonely people finding comfort together.”
“Comfort?” he echoed, torn between insult and amusement. “When your body was shuddering with the aftereffects of multiple orgasms and you were panting my name, that was because you were feeling...comforted?”
Beth glanced away, her cheeks flushed with color. “It doesn’t matter,” she decided. “We agreed it shouldn’t have happened.”
“Did we?” he asked.
But before she could answer, he lowered his mouth to hers.
There was no hesitation in his kiss this time. This was no tentative exploration but an insistent demand.
And she responded. She couldn’t help herself. The whole time she’d been packing, she’d been recounting all the reasons that getting tangled up with Wilder was a bad idea. But somehow, with his mouth moving over hers, those reasons didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but the way she felt when she was in his arms.
Her lips parted to allow him to deepen the kiss; their tongues danced in a slow and seductive rhythm that made her heart pound and her body yearn. And oh, how she yearned to experience the thrill and satisfaction of his lovemaking again.
Except that what they’d shared wasn’t lovemaking but sex—a purely physical coupling with no emotional attachment required or desired. And Beth wasn’t very good at keeping her emotions detached. Her feelings for Wilder were already stronger and deeper than she was willing to acknowledge.
She eased her lips from his, reluctant but determined. “Didn’t we agree that what happened before was a mistake?”
“We agreed that you said it was a mistake,” he said. “But I think you’re trying to convince yourself of that so it won’t happen again.”
“Of course, it won’t happen again.”
“Because you’re not attracted to me?” he challenged.
Before she could respond to that, he lifted a hand to tuck a stray hair behind her ear, skimming his fingertip over the shell of her ear, making her tremble. He smiled, letting her know that her physical reaction had not gone unnoticed, so that if she tried to claim she wasn’t attracted to him, he’d know she was lying.
“Because it wouldn’t be smart,” she said instead.
“Attraction is rarely based on logic,” he said. “And I’m very definitely attracted to you, Beth.”
She swallowed. “You are?”
“After the night we spent together, how can you even ask that question?”
“We had sex—once,” she reminded him. “We didn’t spend the night together.”
“And that’s my fault,” he acknowledged. “I snuck out of your bed because I wanted to stay. Because I wanted more.”
“You wanted more?” she asked, doubt and hope warring inside her.
“But I don’t know that I’m capable of anything more,” he confided. “And you’re the kind of woman who deserves a lot more. You deserve to be loved—and I don’t do love. I don’t know that I can.”
She sighed. “So where does that leave us?”
“I don’t know. But I’d like to try to figure it out.”
“This really is complicated, isn’t it?”
He nodded. “And likely to get even more complicated when Leighton shows up.”
“That’s why I think I should go,” she told him.
“Even if I want you to stay?” And then, before she could reply to that, he played his trump card: “Even if Cody wants you to stay?”
She huffed out a breath. “You fight dirty.”
“I fight to win,” he said, unapologetic.
“Leighton will fight back,” she warned.
“Are you worried that you’ll get caught in the crossfire?”
She shook her head. “I can take care of myself.”
“I don’t doubt it,” he said sincerely. “You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever known.”
She was taken aback by his matter-of-fact tone. “You really think so?”
“I do,” he confirmed. “You are fierce and formidable.”
“I think you’ve got me mixed up with someone else.”
He shook his head. “You are an amazing woman, Beth Ames.”
And the way he said it, the sincerity in his voice, almost made her believe it.
But if he truly believed it, why couldn’t he love her? Was he truly incapable of falling in love, as he believed? Or was she not worthy of his love? And why was she even thinking about love after one night with a man she’d known for barely more than a week?
“You’re just trying to sweet-talk me into staying so you won’t have to do the middle-of-the-night feedings,” she said, in an attempt to ease the seriousness of the moment.
“If you stay, I’ll happily do the middle-of-the-night feedings,” he promised.
“Okay,” she finally relented. “I’ll stay.”
* * *
Beth was folding a load of laundry as she listened to Wilder read to Cody. Hearing the simple story of Goodnight Moon in the cowboy’s deep voice, watching him point out the list of items in the great green room, warmed something deep inside her.
The ring of her cell came between “goodnight kittens” and “goodnight mittens,” and though she didn’t recognize the number, she connected the call immediately so the ringing wouldn’t disturb the story.
“Hello?”
“Is this Lisbeth Ames?”
It wasn’t until she heard the male voice and registered a quick stab of disappointment that she realized she’d been hoping it might be her sister calling.
“Yes,” she
acknowledged, bracing herself for a sales pitch.
“Are you related to Leighton Ames?” the caller asked, surprising her again.
“Who is this?” she demanded.
“This is Sheriff Burke from Clearwater County,” he said. “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news.”
“Clearwater County?” she echoed, preferring to latch onto that detail rather than contemplate the possibility of “bad news.” “I’m sorry—I don’t even know where that is.”
“It’s in Idaho, ma’am,” he said patiently, as if giving her a moment to catch up. “I’m calling because there’s been an accident and—”
“What kind of accident?” she interjected, suddenly chilled to the bone recalling that it had been the sheriff who showed up at the door when her parents were killed. “Has something happened to my sister?”
“Her car spun out on Harbinger Road and slid down an embankment.”
“Ohmygod. Was she hurt? Is she at the hospital?”
“I’m sorry, Ms. Ames, but your sister suffered traumatic injuries in the crash and—” He paused to clear his throat. “She didn’t make it.”
“I don’t understand, Sheriff. What do you mean?” she asked, her brain refusing to acknowledge and accept the meaning of his words.
If he was trying to tell her that her sister hadn’t yet made it back to the Ambling A, she knew that already, because she was here and Leighton clearly wasn’t.
“She emailed to tell me that she was on her way to Rust Creek Falls, to pick up Cody,” Beth said, eager for him to understand how important it was that Leighton keep her promise. “He’s only four and a half months old and he misses her like crazy.”
“I’m sorry,” the sheriff said again, sounding weary.
“Don’t say you’re sorry,” Beth snapped at him. “Tell me when she’s going to be here.”
“Beth.” She started at the sound of Wilder’s voice, gentle but firm. “Give me the phone.”
She shook her head, her fingers instinctively tightening on the device, desperately maintaining her grasp on this tenuous connection to the man who was talking to her about Leighton, wanting him to explain why her sister was late.
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