Initiated

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Initiated Page 12

by Steffanie Holmes

“Like fuck it is. Power isn’t just about outnumbering someone,” Quinn said. “If it were, ninety-nine percent of the world’s wealth wouldn’t be in the possession of the top one percent.”

  “What do they have on you that stops you from just eating their brains? They can’t threaten your life if you’re already dead.”

  “You mean besides the fact that we’re not brain-eating zombies?” Quinn stuck out his arms and mimicked a shuffling walk. “The Eldritch Club are so desperate to hold on to their power they’ll sacrifice their own children to an interdimensional cosmic entity. You think death is the worst they can do to us? There’s a reason every Miskatonic student falls into line, even if their parents weren’t members of the club. Rebellion is pointless – the only thing we can do is drink and fuck and try to enjoy eternity.”

  “If that’s true, then why did you try to save me?”

  Quinn shrugged. “We’ve done horrible, unforgivable things. Don’t make us into heroes, Hazy.”

  I snorted. “Yeah, no danger of that.”

  Laughter and music wafted up from over the ridge. “Put your party dress on,” Quinn said, his voice sad. “A night of Bacchanalian hedonism is just what you need.”

  “As if I’ll be able to relax with the whole school breathing down my neck and Courtney on the warpath. I’m holding you personally responsible for anything that happens at this party. If I end up in a Carrie situation, then I’m pushing you over a cliff. We’ll find out if dead monarchs can fly.”

  “I swear.” Quinn made the sign of the cross.

  “Your word doesn’t mean shit. The last party I came to with you, you lured me into the grotto so your friends could steal my clothes. Turn away.” I gestured for him to turn around.

  Quinn’s eyes swept over my body one final time, but he obeyed, turning until he was completely facing away from me. He put his hands behind his head.

  My eyes on Quinn’s back, I peeled off my ruined Halloween outfit, scrunching up the dress and using it to wipe as much of the mud as I could off my arms and legs. An icy breeze blew from the ocean, raising goosebumps over my bare skin and caressing my nipples into hard points.

  “I didn’t lure you into the grotto,” Quinn said.

  “Bullshit. No peeking,” I snapped as his head jerked to the side. He promptly jerked it back.

  “It’s the truth, Hazy. I asked you to swim because you’re fucking hot and I wanted to go swimming with you. Trey told me to invite you to the party—”

  “And you’re Trey’s bum boy.” I pulled the dress over my head, shaking my hips to pull it down. It fit perfectly, damn him.

  I think you’re fucking hot and I wanted to swim with you. Quinn’s words sent a wave of heat flaring along my spine.

  “—but I was going to ask you anyway.” Quinn leaned back, the muscles along his forearms bulging. I was such a sucker for thick forearms. When Dante played basketball, my eyes stayed fixed on the corded muscles that flexed as he moved. I shook my head as my fingers sought the burn on my wrist. As if on cue, the matching burn on my leg flared with fire. I don’t have Dante anymore, and Quinn… he’s…

  “But not because you have some deep connection to me. You don’t even know me. You just like pissing people off.” I sighed, sticking out my hip. “You can look now.”

  Quinn’s eyes widened when he saw me. He licked his lower lip, and a fresh wave of heat sizzled up my back. “Damn, Hazy. You’re going to break hearts tonight.”

  “Good.” I took his arm. “Let’s go.”

  We descended the steps together. I tried to ignore the flaring pain of the burn on my leg. Pain was good – it meant I was still alive. At the bottom, Andre and Greg were standing with Nancy and Paul and the other monarchs. They clapped as Quinn and I stepped into the pleasure garden.

  “A round of drinks for the triumphant spelunkers!” Quinn cried, pulling the bottles and a cocktail shaker from out of his toga. “I’ve been honing my cocktails. Who wants to try a ‘Quinn Fizz’?”

  The group moved over to the bar area, where the school’s silent staff were still setting out glasses and filling punch bowls. They scattered when Quinn took over. More students crowded around to watch him fling bottles in the air and juggle spoons like he was in some fancy nightclub. Greg had disappeared but I noticed Andre at the other end of the bar, making a series of hand gestures to one of the maintenance staff. What’s going on there? Why isn’t he using his pad? I tried to push my way toward Andre, but Ayaz stepped in front of me.

  “Do you want to dance or something?” Ayaz asked.

  My heart thudded in my chest for reasons that almost definitely had to do with the opium and incense scent that filled the air around him. “I didn’t know you were the dancing type.”

  “I’m full of surprises.” Ayaz held out his hand. I stared at it for a moment, then took it.

  A group of kids jumped around to the band, who were playing the same outdated 90s playlist they’d cranked out last time. I scanned the crowd for Courtney or Tillie or any of their friends, but they were nowhere to be seen.

  “If you’re looking for Courtney, you won’t see her tonight,” Ayaz said in his silky voice. “Word is it she’s just pulled a huge chunk of hair out trying to get the ears off. I bet you’re secretly disappointed.”

  Pulling her hair out? That gives me an idea…

  “Good guess. I’m absolutely bereft without her.” Ayaz and I walked into the middle of the dance floor. People shuffled away from us as we turned in slow circles around each other, like two animals locked in a battle of wits. Tension crackled between us as our bodies drew closer – predator closing in on prey. The throbbing pain of the burn – still covered in the dressing but visible to everyone in the short dress – only made it worse. Not even the lurching visions of the god could quench the flames dancing inside me. My heart beat in time with the frantic drums, and a rush of liquid magma surged through my veins.

  Right now, I was the predator, claws out, ready to pounce.

  The song worked itself up with a furious, frenzied pitch. Bass pounded in my ears. Ayaz’s skin brushed mine as we leapt and sparred and spun around each other. Every touch singed my skin with unspoken promises. Something nagged at me, some urgent thing I needed to tell him, but the thought was lost in the corners of his black diamond eyes…

  Oh, shit, that’s right.

  “I met someone in the tunnels,” I pressed my lips to Ayaz’s ear, talking as loud as I dared so he could hear me over the music. “She helped me escape the trap Courtney set for me.”

  “Trap?” Ayaz’s eyes darkened.

  “Yeah. There was a creature that slithered out of the water and came after me. Apparently, it had been called up by Courtney specifically to go after me. But this girl jumped in and saved my ass.” I decided not to tell him about the fire just now. “And the funny thing is, she looked like you.”

  Ayaz froze.

  Someone bumped into me from behind. I stumbled forward, my chest pressing against his. Through the thin fabric, I could feel every curve of his muscles and the heat that rolled off his skin.

  “She had your eyes, Ayaz,” I said, staring into those dark orbs – a shroud that hid the man beneath. “And this amazing long hair, like a waterfall of darkness. Your sister is one badass demon slayer.”

  His fingers dug into my arm, hard enough that I cried out. “Did Quinn put you up to this?” he whispered, his voice tight.

  “Quinn can’t make me do anything,” I shot back. “I saw her, Ayaz. Who is she? She’s your younger sister, right? Because if your sister was young and you’ve been an Edimmu for twenty years, then she’d be about the right age…”

  “She’s my sister,” he whispered. “That’s Zehra. But I can’t believe…”

  “What?” I shook his arm. “We said no more secrets, remember? Tell me.”

  Ayaz’s face darkened. “Not here,” he whispered, tugging my hand toward the grotto. “Fancy a swim?”

  Last time we’d been in this pool toget
her, Ayaz had leaned in close and warned me that Trey was planning to hurt me. He’d also been sandwiched between two very attractive girls and had seemed intent on giving them a good time. My body tingled with the memory of his hands cupping a breast, touching a cheek, caressing beneath the water…

  His hands on me in the cave, his tongue teasing out the flame inside me.

  My head was all messed up. I was thinking about punishing this guy at the same time I had fantasies of his hands all over me. I couldn’t separate the two things in my mind – I want Ayaz. I want Ayaz to pay. At the same time, I was having equally evil thoughts about his two friends.

  I’m completely insane.

  It was also freezing cold tonight, with a hint of drizzle in the air. I could only see a handful of other couples in the grotto, and if we moved further back into the cave, where the water was rushing out of the thermal spring, there would be no chance of anyone overhearing what we said.

  And besides, maybe Quinn was right – a little hedonism never hurt anyone.

  I swallowed hard. “Sure.”

  Ayaz pressed his hand to the small of my back, releasing a pool of heat as we headed off the dance floor. I walked ahead of Ayaz over to the stepped wall where the students dropped their clothes. I cast my eyes around for any sign of Courtney or Tillie, but didn’t see them anywhere. I gritted my teeth and started to peel off the dress.

  I’ve only had this thing on for twenty minutes.

  I’d chosen my black bra set tonight – the same one I’d worn at the last party. It must’ve been my lucky underwear. Ayaz definitely thought so, the way his eyes traveled up my body as I stepped into the water. He stripped off, and it was my turn to gape. His toned chest was decorated in a smattering of ink in bright tattoos – beautiful images I recognized from Pre-Raphaelite paintings. His body tapered from broad shoulders into a narrow waist and a fucking adorable ass with tattoos of shimmering mermaids splashing around the cheeks. As he lowered himself into the water I got an eyeful of… everything. There was a lot of everything.

  I swallowed. You’re here to tell him about Zehra. That’s all.

  This is such a bad idea. You have a burn on your calf. Why are you getting into hot water? Because of a guy?

  Hell, yes.

  “Those girls you were with last time…” I started as he clambered across the uneven rocks.

  He shrugged.

  “They didn’t seem to mind sharing you.”

  “If girls want to have me, they have to share,” Ayaz said. His hand tightened on the small of my back. “Until now.”

  Is he talking about me? He can’t be. Or is that a veiled reference to him kissing me because his friends did? “I thought you said Quinn was the one who slept with anything that moved?”

  Ayaz shrugged again. “I said I like to learn. You don’t always do learning in books.”

  Even through the waterproof dressing, the hot water on my burned leg smarted. But that hurt the god, so I didn’t care. Besides, it had nothing on the sharp pain jabbing at the base of my spine. It felt annoyingly similar to the way I used to feel when I saw Dante with another girl. I paused on the rocky ledge, leaning over to look over at the students grinding against each other. Greg had jumped in with the band and was doing an excellent job on vocals. Andre stood beside Trey at the bar, both of them with a drink in their hands, staring into space without speaking. I grinned to myself. A match made in heaven.

  Ayaz pulled me deeper into the grotto. Water bubbled from the spring in the wall and streamed down into the pool. Steam curled off the surface, filling my already-foggy head with hedonistic thoughts. Those dark, spontaneously-combusting caves and burning sigils seemed a long way off, especially with Ayaz’s arm around my shoulder, his naked chest rubbing against my shoulder.

  Ayaz spun me around to face him, placing his hands on my shoulders and pressing me against the grotto wall. “Kiss me,” he whispered.

  “Huh?”

  “You heard me,” he growled. Flecks of gold flared at the corners of his eyes.

  He was making it my choice, my move. If I kissed him now, it would be because I wanted it.

  Did I want it?

  I didn’t know. I wanted the Kings to show remorse for what they’d done to me and for how they’d driven Loretta to seek an end to her life. Sometimes I thought they got there, but then I learned about some new horror and I felt they could never be sorry enough. I wanted to have never come here. I wanted to burn this fucking school down and salt the earth beneath it.

  But at the same time, the moon was high and Ayaz was beautiful. Tonight was Halloween, a night for ghosts to walk the earth and for witches to have their way… tonight I was the baddest motherfucking witch of them all, and I was naked in a hot spring with the ghost of a boy that in another world, another time, I could have fallen in love with.

  Tonight, I embraced the darkness and the fire. I pressed my lips to his.

  A soft growl rumbled in his chest as his tongue plunged into my mouth. The world faded away, everything outside me and Ayaz and our burning, singing flesh ceasing to exist. His eyes fluttered shut, those long lashes tangled together as he sank deeper into the kiss. The burn on my calf flared with heat but it was nothing on the heat burning between my legs.

  This kiss was everything. It was the whole fucking universe.

  It was also nothing. It meant nothing. It was a distraction, an act for anyone who might be watching us.

  So what was that other kiss? What did it mean?

  “Zehra is my sister,” Ayaz whispered against my lips. His tongue ran along my teeth. “She was just a baby when I left. I used to video chat with her constantly when I lived with Vincent. Like, every day. She was so much fun, even as a little kid. Twelve years ago, my parents sent her here to enroll in Derleth. Either they lied about her family to get her in, or the scholarship committee got so greedy for an ideal applicant that they didn’t check into her background too closely. They didn’t know she’d had a brother who died at Miskatonic Prep. Zehra arrived here on the first day of the quarter. Trey had me break into her room to steal something precious from her. They always bring something precious with them. She had a photograph of my parents in her suitcase. That’s when I knew it was her.”

  “Did she recognize you?” I asked, my tongue sliding against his teeth.

  “I tried to stay away from her, but she ferreted me out. She was always a bright kid. Much brighter than me. I was supposed to be dead and here I was, walking the halls, no older than the day I died.”

  “But wouldn’t—” Ayaz’s lips forced mine open, his tongue driving out my words. I gasped against him, kneading the flesh of his back as he drew out the fire inside me. God, his touch is magic.

  If kissing a ghost is this hot, I should do it more often.

  “She was angry with me at first – that I had let them all believe I was dead. But then bit by bit she put the pieces together, like you have, and then she wouldn’t leave me alone. I couldn’t just let her stay here and become a sacrifice. She deserved more. I’d been left on my own in this country with nothing by my parents expectations, and look how that worked out for me.”

  Bitterness leaked into his voice. I linked my fingers behind his neck, pulling his head against mine, trying to drink in that bitterness, to draw it out of him. “At least here, you don’t have to pretend you wanted to be a doctor.”

  Ayaz laughed against my lips. The sound was lyrical – music humming through my veins. “In a strange way, being stuck here, I have more freedom than I’ve ever had. I can read books. I can draw.”

  “You sound as though you’re trying to convince yourself.”

  “Yeah.” There was that bitter laugh again, all the music stripped away. “I am.”

  “So what happened to Zehra?”

  “Trey, Quinn, and I… we tried to sneak her out of the school. We took her down to that dingy and shoved her out to sea. ‘I’ll go for help,’ she said. ‘I will come back with a legion to set you free.’ She wo
uld have done that, too. Zehra could get anyone to do anything she wanted, just by smiling at them. But she never got the chance. The next day, Quinn found the boat splintered to pieces on the rocks. I thought… I thought there was no way she could survive.”

  “And you never heard from her again?”

  Ayaz shook his head. “That’s how I knew she was dead. She would have found a way to get a message to me. Quinn says he saw her once, hiding behind a tree, watching our lacrosse game. But when he looked again, she was gone. We looked all over the woods, calling her name, but she never showed herself.”

  “Quinn thought she left those articles for me to find,” I remembered.

  “But she couldn’t…” Ayaz murmured, his eyelids fluttering. He was a million miles away. “…all these years I thought she was gone… I thought I was the one who killed her, who sent her off in that boat… you swear you saw her?”

  “Flesh and blood and all. She held my hand.”

  Ayaz sagged against me. This King of the school trembled, wearing his vulnerability on his skin. Suddenly there was no space between us, no room to breathe.

  Ayaz backed away. “I have to… I need to…”

  I nodded. “I know.”

  Ayaz fled the grotto, launching his body over the edge with a wave of water that splashed across the dance floor. I watched him go, jogging into the darkness without stopping to collect his clothes.

  As I climbed out of the pool, Trey’s eyes swept over me, blue ice that cooled the heat in my skin. I bent down to pick up my clothes. By the time I pulled my dress over my head, Trey had disappeared.

  Like a ghost.

  Something Quinn had said came back to me. You think death is the worst they can do to us? I thought of the hatred that had poured out of the god’s void. The three Kings acted as though they were above it all – Quinn wallowing in hedonism, Ayaz striving for knowledge, Trey’s regal remoteness and desire for ultimate control. I thought they were untouchable, but now I knew better.

  They might be dead, but their hearts still beat. They still felt, still loved – a love twisted by the desire for what they had once had and could never have again. And I could see now how someone evil could take that love and twist it into something rotten, something that could be used to keep those boys in line.

 

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