by C. J. Miller
Secrets could bring trouble. “Will you tell me what you’re not saying?” she asked.
He rolled to his side. “I’m worried about you. You don’t seem cut out for this life. You aren’t hardened and scheming. Everything you do is open.”
“Is that wrong?”
“Not wrong, but not how most people play this game. You’ll be hurt because someone will take advantage of your goodness and genuineness.”
A warning traced up her spine. “Are you one of those people?”
He shook his head and closed his eyes briefly. “I have no intention of harming you. But I see the path you are on, and it’s not good.”
He wanted to put distance between them before her path became tied to King Warrington’s. Casimir seemed to be one of the few people in her life who saw that she and the king were wrong for each other. “Why are you pulling away from me?”
“You ask this as you sleep in my arms?”
She was overwhelmed with emotion. Though he didn’t speak of love, he spoke of devotion and steadfastness when she needed it most. “You have been the first person in a long time to become close to me. I can’t define why it’s so easy to let you in.”
He let his forehead fall against hers. “I feel it as well.”
“Stay close to me tonight,” she said.
“I will. I promise. For tonight.”
* * *
Inside the church and forced to make polite conversation with strangers, Serena was grateful when the string quartet began to play music and she was escorted to her seat by an usher. The church was filled with pink and yellow flowers and a sweet floral scent hung heavy in the air. The church had been built a few hundred years earlier, its stained glass windows intricate and the frescos on the ceiling beautiful and ornate.
Surprised at how close she was to the altar, she looked around for Casimir, trying to appear nonchalant. He had left her room early that morning before the sun rose.
No one could know they had spent the night together. It wouldn’t be proper. One of her reasons for attending this wedding was to represent her country and to honor her father’s memory by stepping in to his place. Starting rumors or problems ran contrary to her intentions.
When she visually located Casimir inside the church, seated a couple rows behind her and next to Fiona, he met her gaze. The eye contact closed the distance between them and her skin tingled as if she were standing in his arms. Afraid someone else would notice the look, she broke it.
Serena faced the altar and tried not to think about her own wedding. Many of the same people would be in attendance, her father’s and sister’s absence too painful to consider.
The groom walked to the altar with the minister and Serena was struck by the expression on his face. He was happy, excited even.
How would King Warrington look as he waited for her? Stern? Serious? Resigned? She hadn’t seen him yet today. Would he think about their wedding today with the same sense of disappointment and dread?
When the doors in the back of the church opened and the bride entered, the groom’s face switched from excited to elated.
Serena’s heart broke for her misfortune. King Warrington wouldn’t stare at her with affection and love. Their wedding would simply be a means for them to fulfill their obligation to their countries. Would he even want to share the same bed on their wedding night? Would she?
A mild headache formed at the edges of her brain. She had ibuprofen in her clutch, but taking it now would cause a distraction.
The rest of the ceremony was a blur, but Serena stood, sat and kneeled along with the people around her.
As the church emptied, she remained in her seat. She wished the day were over. This was supposed to be a small vacation from Acacia and her troubles there, but she didn’t feel refreshed. She felt stressed and burdened thinking about her wedding. Arranging for her private plane to take her home was a simple matter, but she had to attend the reception. It was a private dinner for close family and friends. Although, given that Serena was invited, she wondered how close those family members and friends could be.
Casimir approached and sat next to her. “Enjoy the service?”
“The bride was lovely. The groom seemed happy.”
The guests were outside throwing bird seed and blowing bubbles. The church was quiet. Could she stay here? She had made an appearance. Maybe she could skip the reception after all.
She reached for his arm, but she drew back when she realized her mistake. He wasn’t her date and behaving otherwise was inappropriate. “You were gone when I woke.”
“I had to leave before your guards returned.”
Fiona approached, smiling, but something in her eyes worried Serena.
“I see you’re talking to your princess again,” Fiona said, glowering at Serena. Fiona slid her arms around Casimir’s shoulder in an obviously possessive manner.
“Ready to go to the reception?” she asked Casimir.
Casimir smiled at her. “Sure. See you there, Serena?”
“Yes. See you both there.”
Serena waited for them to leave. She was alone in the church, save for her bodyguard standing nearby.
She could hear the sounds of excitement drifting farther away.
Being in a church made her think of her father and her sister. Her sister would have loved to be married in a church like this. She would never have the opportunity.
Serena wiped at the tears that came to her eyes. She fished in her handbag for a tissue. She missed her father and sister so much, she wondered if the pressure on her chest would ever fully go away. Serena thought of them a thousand times a day and today was no exception.
She composed herself and then walked outside to her waiting car. Serena didn’t want to socialize. She had too much on her mind. Was she accomplishing what she had set out to accomplish? Did anyone see her differently now, having spent time with her?
Needing to hear a friend’s voice, she called Iliana who answered sleepily.
“How was your night?” Serena asked.
“I went sightseeing and instead of the sights, I saw Demetrius DeSante almost kill someone.”
Alarm rattled her nerves. “What? Are you okay?”
“Thanks to him, yes, I’m fine. He was worried about me and he followed me. Sure enough, trouble found me and Demetrius kicked its ass.”
“The dictator of Icarus kicked someone’s butt for you?”
“Sure did. One of the most insanely disturbing and yet shockingly romantic things that has ever happened to me.”
“Do you think your attack is related to the one on my uncle?” She had messaged Iliana the night before so she would be extra careful.
“The guy was a street thug. He didn’t know who I was.”
“Are you okay now?”
“Physically, yes. Emotionally, I feel totally confused.”
“Same here.”
“Oh, did something happen with Casimir?” Iliana sounded more awake now.
Serena filled her in, glossing over some details. “I know we can’t be together, but I can’t stay away from him.”
“Give in and stay there for as long as reality allows. That’s what I’m thinking about with DeSante. See where it leads. What’s the worst that can happen?” Iliana asked.
“DeSante could kidnap you, take you to his country and add you to his harem.”
Iliana laughed. “He would never. I don’t share men. And can you see me as a harem woman? Please. I look terrible in jewel tones.”
Serena had known Iliana long enough to read between the lines. Though she joked about her relationship with DeSante, they had something real. “Maybe you should give him a chance.”
“You’re okay with that?”
Serena wasn’t sure she could pass judgment on anyone else’s relationship. She was making a mess of her own. “I’ll think on it. But as long as you don’t spill state secrets, what’s the harm?”
“Since I don’t know any state secrets, I think we
’re safe there.”
“We just pulled up to the reception. I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Have fun!” Iliana said.
Not a chance.
Fifteen minutes later, Serena was struggling to follow a conversation with the duke of someplace. He was talking about his plans to take his yacht around the world. Normally, the conversation would have interested her, but since he was simply listing cities and dates, she found it tedious.
If she didn’t get away, she would fall asleep. Not the impression she wanted to make.
She cut into the monologue. “You’ll have to excuse me. I see someone I need to speak with.” The duke didn’t follow her and she was grateful.
Serena threaded through the crowd toward the bar. She asked for a glass of soda, hoping the caffeine would rouse her out of her funk.
Casimir was the only person in the room she could focus on totally. When their eyes met, he moved toward her. Given the number of people in attendance, hopefully Fiona wouldn’t notice him speaking to her. Serena didn’t want to make an enemy of the countess.
Casimir stood by her casually. They hadn’t touched and Serena longed to close the distance between them.
Too many people to judge and too many cameras to capture the act to give in to that desire.
“Are you feeling okay?” he asked.
The crowds made her uncomfortable, but she was not the center of attention so it was tolerable. The bride and groom were drawing and holding most of the focus in the room, and deservedly so. “I almost didn’t come. But I’m here.”
A flurry of activity by the door caught Serena’s attention. King Warrington had entered the Great Hall.
Serena’s stomach knotted and she felt light-headed. The king of Rizari moved through the crowd, shaking hands. She wanted to disappear. She didn’t want to talk to him, except decorum dictated she acknowledge him. She felt guilty for sleeping with Casimir and she resented Samuel Warrington for the hold he had over her life.
“Is it too late to leave?” she asked Casimir.
“He’s blocking the main exit. I can take you out the side door.”
Running away would look strange. Someone would notice and then Serena would have to provide a reason for her rude behavior. “I’m trapped.” Today, tomorrow and in her future marriage.
King Warrington strode toward her and Serena took a slow, deep breath. Of all the times to feel dizzy and fuzzy, this was a bad one. She plastered a smile on her face and pretended she was happy to see him.
Extending her hands to him, she clasped his and leaned toward him, allowing him to kiss her cheek. He smelled of cologne, and she gagged a little.
“King Warrington, hello,” she said.
“I’ve told you, call me Samuel. Even in public, we can be on familiar terms.”
He had said no such thing, but it sounded good to anyone listening in on their conversation. “Did you enjoy the service?” Small talk. She hated it.
“It was well done. Hi, Casimir. I see you are keeping the princess company.”
Casimir smiled in response.
People were moving closer to eavesdrop on their conversation. Serena hoped she was playing the role of his future betrothed convincingly.
Women, in particular, were jockeying for position to be near the king, openly staring at him and whispering to each other. His playboy reputation preceded him. She had to admit, he was handsome in a polished, preppy way.
But he was no Casimir.
“The bride is breathtaking,” Serena said, trying not to become distracted by the thought of wearing a wedding dress herself.
With pleasantries exchanged, they were out of topics to discuss. They had little in common except her sister. It was inappropriate to talk about business or political issues at a wedding where others could overhear.
“My guards are signaling me, but I hope we’ll share a dance tonight,” Samuel said.
Serena nodded. “Looking forward to it.” Not really. She would find some way to avoid it and him. Based on their interactions thus far, he would be thrilled to be relieved of the obligation. The women pouncing on him guaranteed he would have his share of women to keep him company.
One thing was clear: King Warrington wanted Acacia, but he did not want Serena as his wife.
Serena touched her hat to be sure it was in place. The room tilted and then Casimir’s arm was around her waist and his hand on her forearm. “Your Highness, are you okay?”
In his voice, a worry. “I feel dizzy,” she said.
Casimir was leading her somewhere, hopefully away from the crowd. She closed her eyes to dissipate the dizziness. When it grew darker, Serena opened her eyes. They were in the gardens outside the Great Hall.
Casimir led her to a marble bench and helped her sit. He knelt in front of her. “Are you feeling okay?” Seeing him this way brought back poignant memories of the last time he had been in that position and desire stole the breath from her lungs.
Serena waved him off and tried to lasso her runaway libido. “I needed fresh air. It was hot in there.”
Why had she come to this wedding? Why had she believed she could handle this? She had to prove something to everyone it seemed, including herself. “I don’t want to marry King Warrington and when I think about it, I feel sick.” She spoke the words in a whisper. She was sure this wouldn’t come as a shock to Casimir. After all, he knew more about her relationship with the king than most. Serena set her hands in her lap. “Did you see how women frolic around him and throw themselves at him?”
“Frolic?”
“What word would you use?” Serena asked.
“Maybe another F word to describe what those women want, but why does that matter?”
Did he really not know or did he want her to explain it? “That’s not a desirable trait in a husband.”
“Some women would enjoy having a man who others desired.”
“But that’s the part we have wrong. Warrington doesn’t desire me. I don’t know that he ever will. What if he doesn’t stop his dalliances after we’re married?”
“That would be embarrassing for both of you.”
Serena closed her eyes. She shouldn’t have come to Elion. She should have sent a nice gift, a pleasant note and an excuse, like she had wanted to in the first place. “What should I do?”
“What do you want to do?”
She was almost never asked that by her uncle or her advisers. “I don’t know.” She considered her options. Could she demand more of King Warrington’s time? Insist on fidelity being part of their arrangement?
Casimir shrugged. “You could offer him the country without the marriage.”
She had considered that. “My people would revolt. They would fight a takeover and view it as hostile. They would feel they had no voice in the government.”
“As his wife, will you have a voice?”
She had hoped they could come to terms and King Warrington would consult with her on matters involving Acacia. But who knew what would happen once the marriage papers were signed and their interests were merged? “I had hoped.”
“You could live apart and lead your own life.”
Her own life in her own house sounded good in some ways, but lonely. “You mean cheat on my husband?” Have a series of affairs that couldn’t develop into anything real? She had that with Casimir now and it broke her heart.
She couldn’t have a child with a lover. Did she want children? She hadn’t stopped to make firm plans on the matter, although she had figured she would have children one day.
“Isn’t that what he is likely to do to you?” Casimir asked.
Given the king’s behavior during their first planned meeting, she guessed he wouldn’t respect her feelings or honor their marriage vows. “I don’t know him well enough to say.”
Casimir slanted her a look.
“What do you want me to say? To admit I’m agreeing to a raw deal?”
His expression was unreadable. “I know you’re gett
ing a raw deal. But unless you force King Warrington to accept different terms, nothing will change.”
“If someone sees us together and starts a rumor, something will change. I’ll have let down my country. Warrington will marry someone else.”
Casimir lifted his brow. “I doubt that. He still wants Acacia. He didn’t agree to take it out of the kindness of his heart.”
“He isn’t taking it. It’s a union.” The words sounded flimsy, even to her own ears.
The music in the Great Hall stopped and Serena heard someone speaking on the microphone. Time to return to the party. Still feeling overwhelmed, Serena entered the hall, where the bride and groom were walking hand in hand through the crowd, speaking with their guests. Serena recognized the intimate body language between the bride and groom. They were in love. Actual love. Not trying to fool their countrymen and women or make a political alliance or please someone else. They had genuine warmth and affection for each other. Serena remembered reading that they had met at university and had been together since.
Watching them, loneliness descended on her. But that feeling was nothing new. Serena had been lonely since her last disastrous relationship.
To make matters worse, when Serena moved to her table, she saw she had been seated next to King Warrington. She should have expected it. Most members of their social circle knew about their pending arrangement. Few would stop and question how Samuel’s history with Danae would impact their engagement, perhaps treating them as disparate relationships.
Serena sat and smiled at the king. Her worry increased when she noticed Fiona sitting across the ten-person table. If Fiona was at their table, then so was Casimir. Could she hide how she felt about him? She was accustomed to watching people and that had taught her that the smallest reaction, the lift of an eyebrow, a lingering look, a private smile, could give away so much. Too much.
“Where did you disappear to?” King Warrington asked.
Had he noticed her absence? Or was it that she hadn’t followed him around the room as his other admirers seemed to do? “I’m jet-lagged and not feeling well. I went outside for some fresh air.”
He leaned closer to her. Was she speaking loud enough?