Heartbreaker

by Monica Robinson

  Thirty minutes later, Charity had just capped her mascara when there was a knock at the door. She gave her reflection a quick once over, frowning at the ponytail she’d put in her uncooperative hair. It was better than looking like Medusa, she supposed.

  Unbolting the door, she opened it, her breath lodging in her throat at Scott’s appearance. Dressed in a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and khaki slacks, he stood leaning his weight on one foot, a playful glint in his chocolate-colored eyes. He held a purple bag with the gift shop’s name, but she paid it little attention. Instead, she focused on how the white of his shirt made his tan seem so much darker, so much sexier. He reminded her of one of the Gods depicted throughout the ship, and she could hardly wait to get him alone to worship his body.

  I want to lick you all over. “You look nice.” She gestured to the bag in his hand and stepped aside to let him in. “What’s that?”

  Scott entered and handed her the bag. “I felt bad about what happened to your sunglasses. I would have replaced your flip-flops too, but I didn’t know your shoe size.”

  A blanket of warmth wrapped around her heart and she kissed his cheek before opening the bag to look inside. Wow. These look expensive. Of course, everything in the gift shop was expensive, but these seemed especially so. She removed them from the bag, discreetly checking for a price tag.

  “I took it off and the receipt is in my cabin.” She gave him a startled look and he grinned. “I know you, Cherry. You’ve never accepted gifts well. Just say thank you.”

  She slipped the glasses onto the top of her head. “Thank you, Scott. I appreciate it.” Even if she did feel a bit guilty about him spending so much money on her. She grabbed a tote bag from beside the bed and began putting items inside. Sunscreen, check. Wallet with keycard and ID, check. Cell phone just in case she could get signal, check. Notebook and pen, check. Sexy-as-hell bartender who could make her come by merely willing it, check, check, and double check. She was ready to go.

  “All set. What time do we have to be back?” she asked.

  Scott pulled the door closed behind them. “We’re going set sail for San Diego at ten, so we have to be back by eight. They’ll sound the horn at seven to let us know we should start heading back.” He glanced first at his watch and then at her. “That gives me ten hours to show you my island.”

  “Your island, huh?”

  He nodded. “Pleasure Island is our most frequent port of call. I know every inch of it, including where all the secluded spots are.”

  That could come in handy. Very handy indeed, especially if what he said about the island’s atmosphere is true. Then again, it hadn’t taken much for her to strip naked on the sundeck, so it wouldn’t be a far stretch for her to do something equally risqué on the island.

  By the time they made their way to where the other passengers were gathered, the Hedonna had dropped anchor and small shuttle boats were being prepared to transport the passengers to shore. Charity eyed the boats, then at the water below. Go big or go home.

  Scott’s voice slid into her ear, “Are you okay? You look nervous.” He placed his hand at the small of her back. “If you’d rather not go, we can stay here.”

  No, she wasn’t going to let her stupid fear ruin what could possibly be one of the greatest days of her life. She would suck it up and go for it. If Scott could face his fear of enclosed spaces to make love to her in the shower, then she could take a ten-minute boat ride.

  “I’m fine.” When he didn’t look convinced, she grinned. “Really. Hold my hand?”

  He waggled his eyebrows. “I’ll do more than hold your hand once we get to shore.” His gaze swept over her, lingering on her breasts, before returning to meet hers. His eyes had darkened with lust, his expression voracious. “I dare say that dress screams easy access.”

  Pretending to see if anyone was listening, she lifted herself to tiptoe and whispered in his ear, “I have a confession to make.”

  He lifted his head in a nod.

  “I’m not wearing any panties.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Scott couldn’t think straight the entire ride to shore. Charity’s comment about not wearing panties had blindsided him, and now all he could conjure up were images of her parting her creamy thighs as he slid his hand beneath her skirt. He’d been hard before she’d given him that tidbit of information, but now it was going to take an effort of epic proportions to conceal the tent in his pants.

  With his sunglasses shielding his eyes, he took the opportunity to study her profile. Despite protests to the contrary, he knew this ride was making her uneasy. The wind pulled several strands of her honey-colored hair loose from her ponytail and every so often she shoved them behind her ear, until finally she gave up in frustration. She crossed her legs, causing her dress to rise an inch or two on her thigh. She tugged at it and tucked the material between her knees to keep the skirt from blowing up to reveal her naked sex.

  He grinned, grateful she was watching the approaching shoreline and couldn’t see his expression. He still wanted to explain why he’d left the way he had the night before, but now wasn’t the time. Tonight. He would do it when they returned to the Hedonna and then spend the remainder of their time together with her in his arms.

  With this mindset, he draped his arm across her shoulders and drew her against him. Funny how this simple gesture felt natural when he avoided any sort of intimacy with the other women he’d bedded. Granted, he’d tried to make the others feel special, but not once had he hugged, cuddled, or held them. Hell, he hadn’t even bothered to talk to them other than to find out what they liked sexually. His heart thudded when she leaned into him and nestled her head on his shoulder.

  Don’t get used to this. Once the cruise ended, they wouldn’t have many opportunities to see each other. With the Hedonna at sea one hundred and fifty days of the year, a romantic relationship would be difficult, if not impossible. At the same time, he wasn’t going to walk away. Not again. Whenever he was in San Diego, he would see to it they spent time together—as friends if need be.

  While waiting for their turn at the dock, Scott pointed to the mammoth hotel a quarter of a mile up the beach and rested his head against hers. “See that building over there?” She nodded. “It’s called the Hedone. It’s one of four resorts owned by Fantasy Cruises.”

  Charity drew her head back, first looking at the hotel and then at him. “Was it named after the Hedonna?”

  He wiggled his hand in a so-so manner. “Not exactly. Hedone was the Greek goddess of pleasure, namely that of sensual pleasure. The Hedonna is named after her.”

  She returned her head to his shoulder, but not before he caught the awestruck expression on her face. “I knew Fantasy Cruises was big, but I had no idea they owned resorts. You said you’ve been to Hawaii several times, do they have one there too?”

  He nodded. “Yes, it’s on the island of Kauai. We book excursions to the other islands so the passengers get the whole island experience while maintaining a sense of intimacy.”

  “I can see why you love your job,” she mused. “Most people save their whole lives for the chance to experience what you get paid to do.”

  Until two days ago, he would have agreed. Now, he wasn’t sure if a life at sea was what he truly wanted. He still loved the ocean, but maybe it was time to think about a more stable life. A life on dry land, a life closer to his family—and to Charity. God, help him. Was he actually thinking of returning to the one place he vowed never to set foot in again? Or were these just delusions resulting from seeing—and bedding—his childhood friend? All he knew was that he needed more time to find out. Unfortunately, time was something he had little of.

  Giving himself a mental shake, he tightened his hold around her and kissed the top of her head. “It’s been an interesting ride, I’ll give it that.”

  “I bet. You work for a cruise line that specializes in love and sex.” She tilted her head back and grinned at his skeptical expressi
on. “What? You do.”

  “Might I remind you that you’re taking one of our cruises?”

  “Touché.” She cleared her throat. “You sound as though it hasn’t been all sunshine and vibrators. Do I detect a hint of regret?”

  Scott stared at her in both amusement and disbelief. A nearby passenger cast them a look of disgust before turning around again. He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand and crossed his ankle over the opposite knee.

  “Still blunt to the point of vulgar, I see.” When Charity laughed, he continued, “I suppose I have a few regrets.”

  “Would you do it again?”

  Would I? After spending the last seven years aboard the Hedonna, he’d experienced things most people only dreamed of doing. While the good times outweighed the bad, he wasn’t sure he would make the same choices. He’d given up every normal relationship to live out a life of superficial encounters.

  “Probably not,” he said at last. “If there’s one lesson life has taught me it’s that you don’t take things for granted.”

  “The whole you-don’t-know-what-you’ve-got-until-it’s-gone scenario?” He nodded and she let out a breath that sounded more like a sarcastic laugh. “I always wondered who made up that saying. Once I find out who he is, I plan to kick his ass.”

  “Dare I ask why?”

  “The phrase is great for the person who has walked away or has realized he or she has screwed up, but it does absolutely nothing for the poor schmuck left behind when said asshole calls you out on the local radio station—or any of the previous jerks for that matter.” As if realizing what she was saying, Charity pressed her lips together and turned away.

  Guilt twisted in his gut. Though she hadn’t included him in her hurt-filled statement, hadn’t he done the exact same thing? He’d run at the first sign of love. He could apologize until he was blue in the face, stating that he’d been a kid and hadn’t known his head from his ass back then. But it would still be an excuse. Deep down, he’d always known Charity was special, and he’d been terrified. Simple.

  With his free hand, he turned her to face him and removed her sunglasses. He ignored the pang in his heart at the tears glistening in her eyes and managed a crooked grin. “Would it help if I said hindsight is a bitch and I’m an asshole?”

  To his relief, she smiled. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be telling you this. It’s not your fault I pick men who are all wrong for me.”

  Perhaps not, but he fit the bill now didn’t he? He sure as hell wasn’t good for her since he wasn’t capable of giving her what she deserved—even if he wished he could.

  Before he could open his mouth to reply, she peered at him with a thoughtful expression. “You know, Joe just might be right. Maybe my problem is that, on a subconscious level, I have a fear of commitment.”

  Scott couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Had her brother really said that? Joe was quite possibly the biggest commitmentphobe he knew. Well, with the possible exception of himself. Even then, with the thoughts he’d been having lately, he wasn’t sure he could include himself in that statement.

  Irritation rippled through him. “Did Joe say this to you?” Her eyebrows rose at his abrupt tone and he ground his teeth. Damn. He shouldn’t have said anything.

  She shook her head. “No, not to me specifically. He was remarking on how most of the couples he sees have that problem—either one or both parties are afraid to commit. At first, I figured it was the men I was dating, but now I wonder if it isn’t me.”

  “Or maybe,” he interjected. “You merely haven’t found anyone worth giving yourself fully to.”

  She relaxed into a smile and leaned against him. “I think I like your theory better.” When he draped his arm around her shoulders, she nestled her head against his chest. “So, what’s the best part about working on a cruise ship?”

  This. This exact moment made the years of ups and downs worthwhile. Finding the one woman he’d ever cared about again and spending every free moment he could with her was the best part of his job. He couldn’t tell her this though. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them.

  “The ports of call, I suppose. I never have to worry about being bored.”

  “And the worst? Other than the close confines, of course.”

  Tomorrow. When he had to say good-bye to this fantasy and return to reality. Again, he couldn’t tell her this. Instead, he tightened his hold around her and centered his attention on the approaching dock.

  “Never being in one place for more than a few days. I think the longest I’ve ever been in port was a month when repairs were being made.”

  She tilted her head back to look at him. “You mean to tell me you haven’t taken a vacation in seven years?”

  He shook his head.

  “Don’t you think you’re overdue?”

  Honestly, he hadn’t thought about it. His job was one giant vacation. Though, he had to admit that it would be nice to take a couple of weeks off to do nothing more than drink beer and see his family. Correction, see his mother. He could give two shits what his father was doing.

  “I believe you’re right.” The boat jerked to a stop and he reluctantly lowered his arm. “I think a little R&R is in order.”

  Charity leaned forward to retrieve her bag and shot him a grin. “I’m sure your mother would love to see you again. Let me know when you want to do this and I’ll see if I can tear Joe away from the office.”

  He rose and placed his hand to the small of her back when she wobbled. He doubted that Joe would share her enthusiasm considering the way they’d left things all those years ago. But the awkward reunion would be worth it if he could spend more time with Charity. God only knew how much leave he’d accrued and he didn’t see why Kathy would object. The only question remaining was, would Charity want to see him?

  “Sure, but he might not want to come over too often.” He held her hand while helping her out of the boat. “Watch your step.”

  “Oh?” She took a few steps away from the edge while waiting for him to disembark. “Why wouldn’t he?”

  Linking his fingers through hers, he navigated them through the throng of passengers toward the beach. “I certainly wouldn’t want to walk in on my little sister and her childhood friend going at it like sex-starved bunnies.”

  Charity stumbled and looked up at him before lowering her sunglasses to the tip of her nose. “Sex-starved bunnies?”

  He shrugged.

  “My, someone’s a little sure of himself.”

  Scott stopped and turned to face her. He slid his free arm around her waist and drew her against him, a grin tugging at the corners of his lips.

  “Why shouldn’t I be? It’s served me well so far this cruise.” Her lips parted in disbelief, but he didn’t give her the chance to object. Instead, he lowered his mouth to hers, capturing her squeak of surprise.

  He barely registered the other passengers passing by or the fact that he risked someone from the ship recognizing him. Not that he’d ever given a damn before. All he could focus on was her body molding to his and the softness of her lips as she yielded to his to probing tongue. A muffled moan escaped her and she dropped her bag to the sand before deepening their kiss. Sweet Lord, the things this woman could do with her tongue. She laced her fingers behind his head and drew him down, nipping at his bottom lip before reclaiming his mouth.

  “Bunnies are good,” she panted between kisses. “Fluffy tails and all.”

  A growl rumbled deep in his throat. It was crazy how desperate she made him by doing little more than touching him. If she were any other woman, he would have hightailed it back to the ship without a second thought. But this was Charity and he knew with unwavering certainty that he needed to possess her, to make her his in every imaginable way for as long as possible.

  He gripped her rear with both hands, grinding his aching erection against her. “The only tail I’m interested in is definitely not fluffy.” To emphasize his point, he gave her tender flesh a squeeze. “Tell
me you don’t want more of this. Tell me you don’t want more time to make things right between us.”

  Did I just say that out loud? Judging by her sharp intake of breath and the stilling of her hands on his neck, he would venture to say he had—and she wasn’t overly thrilled by his declaration.

  “Scott—”

  “Sorry, I got a little carried away. All I know is, I want more time with you.” He wanted more than two weeks, but beggars couldn’t be choosers and he didn’t want to push his luck.

  She closed her eyes and moistened her lips before looping her arms around his neck. “I want more time, too, but we can’t change the past. It is what it is. All we can do now is ensure that we don’t make the same mistakes.”

  Okay…She wasn’t freaking out, so it had to be a good sign. Not sure how to take her response, he slid his hands up her back and lifted an eyebrow.

  “So what you’re saying is…”

  She rested her forehead against his chest and offered him a half-hearted laugh. “What I’m saying is don’t make me promises you can’t keep. I know you, Scott. You have the best intentions in the world, but when you get scared you bolt.”

  His chest tightened and his stomach plummeted. She was right. She did know him. He wished he could tell her things would be different this time, but he couldn’t. He would eventually have to leave and, consequentially, hurt her. Would he want to? No, but that wasn’t the point.

  “I’m not promising forever, Cherry. I’m promising you two weeks. Anything after that is fate being kind to us. We’re friends first and foremost.”

  Idiot, moron, fucking imbecile. The object of his desire was standing before him bearing her heart and he was being an adolescent kid all over again. Hadn’t he learned anything? Apparently not given the fact that he couldn’t come up with anything more profound than this.

  She lifted her head and placed her index finger to his lips. “Tonight is ours. Anything after this is icing on the cake.” She picked up her bag and offered him a wink. “Why don’t you show me your island?”