“At night? It was in broad daylight,” Lilith stammered.
“That’s not important right now,” the king said. But he did seem to be smiling to himself. “I’d like a satisfying explanation, Seraph.”
The man took a minute to come up with an answer. “She lived among us for a while. We trusted her. Who would you believe, a victim or a murderer?”
The king was getting annoyed. “It’s a dead certainty to me that the woman is a murderer. But I have my doubts about your claim of being her victims.”
He looked at Ferhdessar, who was standing next to him. The sorcerer nodded. Lilith’s heart started pounding when Yvar continued, “All right, it’s time for my judgement. I think that your story is a lie, Seraph. The prisoner knows you too well and you know more about her than you’re letting on. Maybe you mixed up your memories of your Purification with what you saw the woman do. I’m highly offended that you chose yesterday, of all days, to come forth with your story, because I’m convinced you knew exactly what day it was. It hasn’t done you any good.” Seraph opened his mouth, but Yvar raised his hand. “I don’t believe that the prisoner made up her story. The only thing she put forward as a defence today, was that you were lying about the time of day the attack on Peschi’s city took place. That’s not typical behaviour for someone who’s trying to exonerate herself, so I believe that the woman’s story is the truth.”
“You’re making a huge mistake, lord Yvar.”
The king nodded. “You are to leave my palace and Nadesh today. I don’t have any authority over you, so there’s nothing else I can do. Maybe that will turn out to be my mistake.”
“And the woman, is she coming with us?”
“The prisoner is indebted to me. She is going to repay her debt and will stay in the palace while doing so.”
Lilith’s heart skipped a beat. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She made a deep curtsey and whispered a thank you, directed at both the king and Jakob. Yvar nodded and signalled at the soldiers standing along the walls.
“Accompany these men to the fortress. A group of soldiers will be waiting there to escort them to the border.”
“There’s no need for that, lord Yvar,” Seraph objected.
“It would be rude to send you away unaccompanied in this weather,” Yvar brushed aside his objections.
The soldiers turned the five Purified men out of the room. Lilith felt a jolt of relief when the door closed behind them.
“And now back to you.” Yvar got up and paced up and down in front of the throne. Lilith immediately felt scared again. “I’m sure you understand that I can’t ignore your story. I’m going to have to make a decision about you.”
She nodded timidly.
“Every single one of your actions is a huge crime on its own and your actions need to be punished severely. You committed your crimes under extenuating circumstances, but is one to take that into account in a case like this? That’s one of the questions that have kept me occupied.”
Yvar fell silent for a while. The room started to feel more and more oppressive. Lilith stood in front of the king with her head bowed. His words crashed into her skull. Her vision became blurred because it felt as if her eyes were being pushed out of their sockets. She moaned. The red tiles seemed to be moving like a bloody mass. Her heart was in her throat.
“Woman, the crimes that you’ve described didn’t take place in my realm and, therefore, I’ve decided that I can’t punish you for them. This means you will continue working for me.”
“Really?” Lilith smiled and closed her eyes. “How can I thank you?”
“Wait until I’ve finished. You might change your mind. From now on, you’ll be spending more time with Ferhdessar. There’s much he can teach you, so try to control your temper. I hereby give the sorcerer my permission to use his gift to keep you under control. Let this be a warning.”
It was all fine by Lilith. She couldn’t believe that everything had turned out this way, this outcome was beyond her wildest dreams.
“Ferhdessar, I take it that you will do as I wish.”
“Of course.”
“Good, take her with you. I’ll let you decide how much time she spends with you and how much time she spends working.”
8
Lilith left her room and walked through the corridors. After a while she reached the tapestry that depicted her native country. As always, she briefly studied this carefree world and compared it to her own memories. As calm and peaceful as the world looked on the tapestry, as harsh it had been in real life. The pond at which the zebras were trying to quench their thirst probably largely consisted of mud and would soon dry up, forcing the people of the savannah to move away and search for another water source. The people in Naftalia didn’t have an easy life and they always had to work hard. Everything in Naftalia revolved around survival, and it hadn’t been any different for Lilith.
Over the past few weeks, Lilith had built up enough trust with Ferhdessar for him to allow her to walk to and from work by herself. She had kept her temper under control, as the king had advised her to do, and because of that the sorcerer seemed to have become a bit more lenient. She was on her way to the kitchen. She hoped that Ghalatea would be there to tell her what her duties were for the day.
Ever since Lilith had told her story, the Ancilla Princeps had kept her distance. But each day Lilith hoped that Ghalatea would smile at her again and propose to forget all about the past few weeks. It didn’t look like that was going to happen any time soon though, because when Lilith opened the door she saw that Ghalatea wasn’t in the kitchen.
Aida immediately walked up to her. She had a satisfied smile on her face. Lilith didn’t like her; the maidservant enjoyed provoking her. One time, Aida had locked the door when Lilith had gone outside to throw something away. She had stood in the rain for hours and had been soaking wet and frozen to the marrow by the time someone had let her back in again. After that, she’d had a cold for an entire week. To add insult to injury, the Ancilla Princeps had punished her for not having finished her duties on time. Lilith hadn’t been given a chance to explain. Ever since, she had tried to steer clear of the maidservant.
“Hey, prisoner, Ghalatea has given you the task of cleaning all the cupboards.”
Luckily that wasn’t a rotten chore. Lilith shrugged and wanted to walk to the corner where the buckets were. The maidservant, however, stopped her.
“I’ll get you some water.”
Lilith was surprised, but she soon understood what Aida’s plan was. There was a bucket of water boiling on the fire. The maid dropped a cloth in the water and dragged the bucket towards Lilith.
“Here you are.”
To provoke Lilith even more, she kept standing in front of her. Lilith shook her head and wanted to walk around Aida to get cold water, but the maid blocked her way. “You’re going to use the water I just gave you,” she hissed.
Lilith shook her head again. The other maids in the kitchen had all stopped working and were staring at them. Lilith knew they weren’t going to help her, so she pushed Aida aside. The maid staggered for a second but quickly regained her balance. She grabbed Lilith’s arm and pulled it down. Steam rose up past Lilith’s fingers, but she didn’t offer any resistance. If she stayed calm and just let it happen, it would probably be over soon.
But when her fingers touched the boiling hot water, Lilith exploded. She hadn’t expected Aida to go that far. She pulled her arm back and knocked the maidservant to the ground. One of the girls screamed and Aida eyed Lilith furiously.
“You’re going to regret this,” the maid growled as she jumped back to her feet.
Lilith flew at her and gave her a few more punches. This girl was a sadist, her torments were worse than what the servi had ever done to her. Aida fought back; she pulled at Lilith’s hair and tried to bite her. Lilith could no longer control her anger. The maids screamed. Aida started to cry because she didn’t have any energy left to fight back, but Lilith couldn�
��t stop any more. She gave her tormentor a good pummelling. That would teach her to stop treating her like dirt.
Suddenly someone grabbed Lilith’s shoulder and pulled her away from Aida. Panting, she stared at the woman lying curled up on the floor. Blood was trickling from her nose and one eye was beaten shut. Slowly her own feeling returned. She looked at her fingers. The blisters had burst open during the fight. She flapped her hands, hoping it would cool them. Then she looked at Aida again. Several girls were kneeling beside her, dabbing her face with wet cloths. Then they helped the maidservant back on her feet.
“You’re both coming to the Ancilla Princeps with me,” a man’s voice said. Lilith hadn’t realized until then that a soldier had pulled her off the maidservant.
Ghalatea was pacing the room. Lilith had never seen her like this before. She kept clenching her fists, and Lilith saw that the Ancilla Princeps didn’t really know how to deal with the situation. Finally, she looked at Aida, who had been allowed to sit down on a chair.
“What happened?”
“I don’t know, Ancilla Princeps”, the maid sobbed. “I only brought her some water, so she could get to work, but then she lost it.”
Ghalatea shook her head sharply. “Don’t play me for a fool. I know what you’re like.” Then she turned to Lilith. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
“Aida brought me boiling hot water and when I refused to use it she immersed my hand in it. I defended myself.”
Lilith wanted to show Ghalatea her burned fingers, but the Ancilla Princeps didn’t look at them.
“That’s always your excuse, isn’t it. You were defending yourself?” She pointed at Aida, but Lilith didn’t look up. She knew how badly she had beaten up the girl, but the little vixen had deserved it.
“This is taking it a bit far if you’re only defending yourself, isn’t it?”
Lilith opened her mouth.
“No, Lilith, I don’t want to hear it. Others have already told me what happened. You attacked her. If Harald hadn’t pulled you off her, you might have beaten her to death.” She shook her head once more. “It’s disgusting.”
It was starting to dawn on Lilith what she had done and she bowed her head in shame.
“You will take over Aida’s duties until she is fully recovered and I’ll ask Ferhdessar to readjust your wristband.”
Lilith was shocked. She knew how much Ghalatea hated it that Ferhdessar used magic on the prisoners. But now the Ancilla Princeps suggested this of her own accord. Before she could say anything, Harald dragged her out of the room and through the corridors. He had a short, whispered conversation with the sorcerer and then left them alone.
Ferhdessar gave her a penetrating look. “And you were doing so well,” he said, shaking his head. He got up and grabbed her hand. “But apparently Aida is no saint either.”
Lilith nodded enthusiastically. Finally, someone who understood her. She started to relate what had happened.
Ferhdessar interrupted her, however, “The fact that Aida is a mean little vixen, doesn’t justify your behaviour.” He pointed at the water jug. “Go ahead and cool your hand with water.”
Lilith rushed to the corner of the room and poured water over her fingers. The cool liquid was a great relief and she closed her eyes.
“Ghalatea wants me to adjust your wristband. Do you think that will help?” he asked after a long silence.
Lilith shrugged. Ferhdessar grabbed hold of her hand and started to bandage it. He wasn’t gentle about it, but Lilith didn’t flinch.
“I don’t think it will make any difference. You don’t respond to pain the same way as other people do. Pain only seems to increase your anger. It means something to you that I can’t comprehend.”
“So you’re taking it off?” she asked hopefully, extending her hand towards him.
Ferhdessar laughed at her. “Of course not. There’s no harm in you feeling that you’re doing something wrong.” He opened a drawer. “The king informed me this morning that he wishes to speak to you. After what happened today, I think it wise to take some precautions.”
“I would never hurt lord Yvar,” Lilith stammered, startled by his distrust.
“I can’t take that risk, Lilith. You lose control much too easily. Could you bare your back, please?”
Lilith hesitantly pulled her tunic over her head without taking her arms out of the sleeves. She clenched the fabric in front of her chest. When Ferhdessar rubbed something cold between her shoulder blades, she couldn’t suppress a shiver. It felt as if he was writing something, but she couldn’t feel which letters he was forming.
“What are you doing?” she whispered.
Instead of answering her, the sorcerer murmured a few unintelligible sentences. With the last word, something entered her body. It found its way to her neck and stopped just below her skull. It didn’t really hurt, but it didn’t feel comfortable either, as if it was serving as a warning. Lilith decided to take that warning to heart. She didn’t really want to find out what this ritual could do to her.
Only when Ferhdessar had washed his hands, did he give her an explanation: “I could have put you in chains again, but that seemed unnecessarily humiliating. So I administered a temporary, but very powerful, shackle.”
“But why on my back?” Lilith rolled her shoulders. They were still itching.
“You can’t reach there, so you can’t rub it off and undo its effect. All right, you’re ready to go.”
Ferhdessar took her to the room where she had been taken on her first day. Lilith cast a quick glance at the painted portraits. The sun was shining so brightly that the translucent curtains had been drawn to dim the light. She curtsied a few feet away from the table where the king was sitting.
“Come closer.”
She hesitantly did as she was told. The king motioned for her to walk up to his table.
“I want to show you something.”
There was a box on the table. Yvar’s hand briefly stroked the woodcarvings before he lifted the lid. Intrigued, Lilith leaned forwards and stood on tiptoe. The king picked up an object that was wrapped in rags and handed it to Lilith without saying anything. Ferhdessar was keeping a close eye on her.
“Where did you get this?” she asked in astonishment when she had unfolded the rags. She was holding a figurine.
“Someone called Kasimirh sent it to me. What can you tell me about it?”
Lilith knew the figurine all too well. This was the God Jakob. Or rather, a stone image of Him. His grave features, however, were lifelike. The folds of His stone robe fell smoothly around His body. His arms were wide open and Lilith had always felt that God would embrace her if she needed to be held. She’d just never had the courage to ask Him. A man-sized version of the figurine stood in the chapel where Lilith had attended hundreds of services. She had often had the feeling that God was truly present in the statue. At those times she had prayed with even more determination.
The figurine she was now holding in her hands also seemed to radiate life. She stroked the little stone face. Her fingers were trembling.
“Was it my master who sent you this?” She looked up and followed Yvar’s eyes, which were staring at Ferhdessar. She hoped the sorcerer would shake his head, or at least tell her that they didn’t know for sure.
“We indeed assume it was. I believe that Kasimirh is your master.”
Lilith’s hope that someone else had sent the figurine was shattered. She tried to figure out what this meant for her, but the king interrupted her thoughts.
“What can you tell us about the figurine?”
“This is Jakob, the one God. What else can I tell you about it? I was forced to strike terror into people and attack their villages in His name.” Lilith stepped forwards and rested her hand on the edge of the box. “May I?”
The king nodded his assent. She felt around in the box and came up with a pouch containing three small stones. Her fingers tingled when she touched them and she felt the need to pray. So
she took the yellow stone in her right hand and pressed it to her heart. She murmured, “I hold this stone in my hand. I press it to my heart and hear Your voice. The message You give me helps me to remember. You turned us into who we are and taught us to live in harmony with You by our side. I’m grateful for the reminder and show You my gratitude by not forgetting again.”
Then Lilith picked up the black stone and repeated the ritual. This time, however, she held the stone to her forehead.
“I hold this stone in my hand. I hold it to my forehead and hear Your voice. The message You give me helps me to learn. You kept taking care of us, but we turned our backs on You and went our own ways. I beg You to show me the right path once more, so I can learn as I walk in Your shadow.”
Lilith held the third stone – black with gold veins all over its surface – to her lips.
“I hold this stone in my hand. I press it to my lips and pledge to You that I will live in Your light. I will honour everything to which You gave life. Full of desire, I will follow Your orders to show you that I’m worthy. Full of desire, I will wait for the day when You return to teach me.”
Lilith handed the stones back to the king. “There are many different stones and each has its own prayer. The prayers for these three stones are about the promise that Jakob made to the people.”
The king rolled the stones around in his hands before putting them back in the pouch. “Ferhdessar told me that Kasimirh has cast a spell on them.”
Lilith nodded. Now she understood the irresistible desire to say prayer. This, however, didn’t ruin the pleasant feeling she was having.
Next, the king produced a book from the box and gave it to Lilith. The cover told her all she needed to know, but she opened it anyway. She immediately recognized her master’s elegant handwriting. He was always working on these books. Whenever she was summoned to him, she had to wait until he put down his pen. He often had ink stains on his fingers, even when she encountered him in the tunnels of the cave.
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