by Holly Rayner
Finally after debating it to death in my head and getting very little work done all week, I decided to go. First and foremost because I hadn’t seen her since Saturday and I really missed her face. Second of all because I’d never called her to decline and just not showing up would be much too rude. Thirdly, I was hoping if I made contact with her and maybe got a few things settled, I’d be able to concentrate on something else for a while and actually get some work done. It was only a date after all.
I walked inside and was still standing near the front of the restaurant when I saw her. She looked so beautiful that even from a distance she took my breath away. She was seated at a table with three other couples and the seat next to her was empty. Presuming it was for me, I started over. That was when I saw Gary. He worked for me and I had seen him at the auction, bidding like mad for Robyn. I asked Max if there was anything between them and he had laughed. He told me that Robyn is too nice to tell him to get lost, and that Gary was infatuated with her. I could see the way he was looking at her now, with worship in his eyes. Before I made it as far as the bar, Gary was taking my seat. I cursed myself in my head and turned towards the bar. I didn’t think that she’d invited Gary in my place. What I thought was that she had to save face because like an idiot, I hadn’t shown up and I hadn’t called.
I glanced back over at them. Robyn had her back to me now and the light over the table shone off her silky, honey gold hair. I wanted to touch it… I wanted to kiss her again. I had a wild urge to go over and force Gary out of my chair. He was my employee after all. I could use my clout to get rid of him. I didn’t do any of those things. Thank God for impulse control and common sense. I knew that I was too late and if I went over now I would make her and everyone else at the table uncomfortable. I would never use my power over an employee like that either. I doubted that Robyn would be okay with it. She didn’t seem like the type who would be impressed by such nonsense. With a final glance at her lovely profile, I left. I felt like a fool. It wasn’t a feeling I was used to.
***
I let another week go by without contacting Robyn. I owed her a huge apology for not showing up to dinner. Well, as far as she knew, I didn’t show up. I was ashamed of myself for not following through with calling her to at least apologize. I kept telling myself that if I let enough time pass between us the feelings would go away. I don’t know when I suddenly became a coward. It wasn’t like me at all. I’ve never been hesitant to ask a woman I found attractive out and I’d never met one that intimidated me in the least. When it was time to stop seeing her because it had become unpleasant for me for whatever reason, I just told her the truth. I’ve dated some of the richest women in the world as well as a lot of poor ones. I’d never met one that affected me the way that Robyn did, and it scared the hell out of me. I wasn’t used to being scared either and I didn’t like it. So what have I done about it? Absolutely nothing. I kissed her and she brought me cookies and invited me out, and I haven’t so much as called her. When or if I finally do, I doubt that she’ll believe I waited so long because I didn’t know what to say, but that was the honest to God truth. I’m the CEO of a multi-national company. I’m rich and I’m powerful and I’m confident. Why can’t I just pick up the phone and call her? I think deep down that it’s because I don’t understand what I’m feeling, so I have no idea how to explain it to her. If I tried, it was probably just going to come out sounding stupid. I hated to sound stupid. It was probably a moot point anyways. I’m sure she despises me by now.
“Mr. Winters?”
Janice had just stuck her head in the door. She’d been timid with me this week; I’m guessing that she sensed my mood. Janice knew me well enough to know when to keep her distance. My bite wasn’t so fierce, but sometimes my bark could get out of control. She was great at diverting me when that happened, but she often just tried to avoid it altogether.
“Yes, Janice?”
“I have your mail. Would you like me to open and go through it?”
“No, I have time to do it, Janice, thank you.” She brought in a bundle and laid it on my desk.
“If there’s anything you need me to do with it, I’ve finished the reports for the day and I have a free afternoon.”
“You know what, Janice? I’m sure there’s nothing here that can’t wait until Monday. Why don’t you go home early? I’m sure you have some Christmas shopping or something to do, right?” I wasn’t a complete ogre.
“Are you sure, sir?”
“I’m positive, Janice. Go home. Enjoy your weekend.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“You’re welcome.” I watched her leave and close the door. With a sigh I picked up the first piece of mail. I could tell what it was without opening it, a Christmas card. I slid the envelope open just to be sure. It was in fact a card from one of my clients. I threw it in the wastebasket. I shuffled through, picking out all of the ones that looked like cards. I opened them one by one and threw them away. This was why Janice offered to do my mail… the big reason, anyways. She knew that I always threw my cards away and never sent any out. I suspected that she kept them and sent cards out to those that had sent me one. She’d tried to tell me once that it was rude to just throw them away. That was one of the times she’d endured my bark. Since then, I think she tried to intercept as many as she could.
I finally slid open the last card in front of me. This one didn’t have a return address, so it must have been dropped off in the mail room, which I thought was odd. I pulled it out and on the front it said, “Believe” and there was a picture of an old fashioned Santa Claus sitting in a chair in front of a hearth. I started to dump it with the rest of them, but something about it reminded me of Robyn. I smiled when I thought about her Santa Claus obsession and the sweet story she’d told me. But she knew I didn’t do Christmas. I’d been clear on that. Surely she hadn’t… I opened it and it said, “Keep Christmas in your heart now and always.” At the bottom was Robyn’s signature. I tossed the card down on the desk in frustration. Why can’t she get that I don’t want anything to do with Christmas? Why can’t she understand that I don’t want to get close to her for that reason? My head was throbbing by the time I left to go home. I couldn’t have explained it if someone had put a gun to my head, but for some reason I put her card in my briefcase and took it with me. I thought it was best if I didn’t see her until I got back from my trip, but what could keeping the card really hurt?
ROBYN
I spent the week before the company Christmas party altering the dress that Aaron bought me the day he “bought” me. It wasn’t a Christmas color, but I thought I could make it look Christmassy with the right touches. I took the floor length and turned it into a maxi that ended just at my knees. I used a dark silver silk scarf that I rarely wore to make a sash around the waist, and I cut off the sleeves to make it sleeveless, adding silver sequins to the shoulder straps. It was perfect! I added a beautiful antique silver Santa Claus necklace Melissa bought me for Christmas a few years ago and topped it off with a pair of silver bell earrings. I wore my hair up in a loose bun and wore the silver pumps I’d worn with the dress the first time around. I thought it all came together beautifully.
I was excited about the party, mostly because I assumed Aaron would be there. It had been weeks since I’d laid eyes on him. The day at the park when he’d kissed me had been the last time I saw or spoke to him. I sent him emails, left him cookies, invited him to dinner and sent him a Christmas card. I hadn’t heard a single word from him in return, and a smarter woman would have given up by now, I told myself. I was plenty smart, but I was also stubborn. I believed strongly that sometimes there are things worth fighting for. I didn’t imagine our kiss, or the way Aaron looked at me. He was interested in me, but for some reason he was holding back. I wasn’t a desperate woman running after a man who didn’t want her. I was a woman who knew what she wanted, and he had sent me more than one signal that he wanted me too. I wasn’t ready to give up just yet… at least not unt
il he told me to straight to my face.
I arrived at the party alone. It seemed to me when I walked in that everyone had someone and I was beginning to regret not taking a date. Even Gary brought a date. That was like an arrow to my heart. I took a deep breath then and walked in with my head and my spirits high. Whether or not I got to see Aaron, and whether or not he talked to me, I was going to have a great time tonight.
The room was decorated beautifully with red linen tablecloths and white poinsettias on each table. There was an eight foot Christmas tree decorated with lovely hand-tied bows and delicate looking glass ornaments. There was a dance floor with red and white striped posts around it and beautiful wreaths hanging on them. It looked and smelled like Christmas and the soft sounds of Christmas music piped out of the speakers.
I looked around and spotted the “marketing” table. Max and all the crew I worked with and supervised every day were there. Max had told me they would save me a seat. On my way over to it, I spotted Aaron. He was at the executives table, way in the front. He looked so handsome in a perfectly tailored black suit and red tie with a red swatch in the pocket and stylishly mussed dark hair. I couldn’t help but look at his lips and remember that kiss. The only problem with his look was that as usual, he looked so serious. If he only knew how beautiful his smile was, I think he’d use it more.
CHAPTER TWELVE
~
AARON
I was sitting at my table, talking with Hal and Doug about boring work issues when I looked up and saw an angel walk through the door. Robyn was wearing a dress that was the same color as the one I’d bought her that first day, the one she hadn’t worn to the restaurant. It was shorter and her legs were gorgeous. I loved that color on her though, it was the exact same blue as her eyes and the reason that I’d bought it for her in the first place. I never told her that I’d picked it out myself. I had the poor woman at the boutique show me ten or twelve dresses before the color of one was just right. I wanted to go over and say hello, but she hadn’t seen me yet. I could see her talking and laughing with some of the people from her department. She looked so happy and so festive; I didn’t want to interrupt. Happy and festive, I was not.
She took a seat at the table with the others from marketing. Part of me was happy to see that she hadn’t brought a date. The other part of me told myself that I had a lot of nerve. I’d basically shunned her at every turn. She’d reached out to me so many times. I had no right to expect her to remain single and mooning over me until this blasted holiday was over with no matter how much I hoped that would be the case.
Dinner was served and while I ate and tried to keep up with the conversation at my own table I couldn’t keep from looking over at her. She was surrounded by an aura, I think, that drew people to her. Every time I looked at her she seemed to be making someone else laugh. People were gathered around her and I understood why… I wanted to be there too. I knew if I was I’d be self-conscious and I would find myself believing that people were only being nice to me because they wanted something… everyone except Robyn. I’d never met anyone else like her. I stayed where I was; it was better this way, but my mood only got darker because of it.
Dinner seemed excruciatingly long as I forced myself to make pleasant conversation with those around me. Everyone was raving about how delicious the salmon was and going on about the cheesecake that was served for dessert. I ate along with everyone else, but I barely tasted any of it. My mind was too preoccupied to register something as insignificant as taste.
When dinner was finally over, it was time for me to give my annual speech. I took the stage, determined not to look at Robyn while I was there so that I’d be able to recall the words I’d written to address my employees and colleagues tonight.
“Good evening everyone. Thank you all for coming this evening. I’d like to start out by telling you all how nice you look tonight. This is usually the only time of year I get to see you all out in your formal wear. I have to say, you all wear it well. It’s great to get together like this and see you all with your significant others and having fun instead of working as hard as you normally are when I see you. I’d like to raise a toast to you all and that those smiles I see on your faces last through the upcoming year.”
Everyone raised their glasses and said their “Here here’s” and their “To you too boss’s!” I made the mistake of glancing at Robyn then. She was holding up her glass, smiling at me. I froze for several seconds. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I suddenly realized that an uncomfortable silence had fallen across the room. I snapped back to what I was doing and attempted to cover for myself.
“Forgive me, I was trying to think of the best way to say this next part. The Japanese say that business is war. I think that most days, they’re right. Nothing about establishing and building this business was easy. I do have to say though that it’s a war I couldn’t have fought alone. Every one of us in this room has fought one hell of a battle this past year. It was a battle that we won. It shows in our numbers and our customer satisfaction ratings. I’d love to thank you all individually, but since I’m likely to forget someone I’ll say this: Each and every one of us has done our part and it’s resulted in one of the best years that Winters Incorporated has ever had, so pat yourselves on the back, you deserve it.” Again, I looked at Robyn and she was doing as one may have guessed, patting herself on the back. I tried to keep a straight face, I’m not sure I was doing a very good job… I had to struggle to remember where I’d left off.
“In the past year we have gained three lucrative partnerships. One with Granite Projects in New Zealand, one with Kosovo Ltd. out of Russia, and most recently, Xiong Enterprises in China. I signed the papers and arranged the meetings, but the truth of the matter is that if I didn’t have good people behind me doing the work, there would have been no papers to sign. So again, thank you all.” I had to look and see if Robyn was patting herself again. She wasn’t. This time, she had stood up and taken a bow. This woman was killing me.
I had to refocus again to go on and tell everyone that their Christmas bonuses would be ready for them to pick up either over the weekend or on Monday morning. That got a rise out of them all and as the crowd cheered and applauded I saw Robyn put up her fingers and rub them together. She was making a money sign. I had to tear my eyes from her once again and get back on track. I highlighted the upcoming year and all of the positive things we had to look forward to. At last, I wrapped it up with, “That’s all I want to say for now, other than to tell you that there will be free champagne at the bar for the next hour to help the party go with a swing!” Then I held up my glass and said, “Cheers and happy holidays to you all.” They were clapping again and my eyes cut back to Robyn. She had picked up about five empty glasses and was pretending to jog over to the bar to fill them up. She had her friends laughing and me wishing I were one of them. It was strange that I had such good self-confidence, yet the thought of acting silly in public made me shudder. I thought it was cute when she did it though…
After I got off the stage, I headed over to the bar for some of that champagne myself. This was the part I hated the most about being the boss. As soon as I was spotted, I practically got accosted by every ass-kisser in the place. I understood working hard and being civil to get ahead in your job. I didn’t understand completely cowing down to someone. Rich or not, boss or not, I was only a man. I hated the way these people treated me like I was more than that… mostly for what they hoped would be their own personal gain. I heard things like, “You’re the greatest boss ever!” and “You look great boss, have you lost weight?” No one really saw me; they saw what I represented instead, everyone that was, except for Robyn. I truly believed that when she looked at me, she saw Aaron.
I glanced back over towards the table where she sat. Like I said, she had this aura about her. She still had people flocked around her, men and women alike. Her admirer Gary had brought a date to the party, but it didn’t stop him from being right there where she was, lo
oking at her adoringly. She wasn’t the kind of woman who didn’t have choices. I wondered if I waited until I came back from my trip to make any kind of move, if I would completely blow my only chance with her.
For one night I wished that I wasn’t the CEO of this company. I wished instead that I was one of them, just a regular guy who worked here, so I could go over there and laugh and joke and enjoy the party for a change. Sighing heavily again, I told myself that wishing was a pointless waste of time. I was Aaron Winters, CEO and I had to maintain my professionalism at all times when my company and my employees are involved. I had a reputation to uphold. I was this company and I always had to remember that.