by Eve Langlais
A glance down showed a child-sized body in a robe, perched in the chair I’d have sworn was empty.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” a stern voice said. A turn of my head showed the captain speaking. “Someone’s been playing with his invisibility again. What did I tell you about messing with our guests?”
The little voice piped, “That was Cory you told that to. You only told me no feeding the passengers to the sea monsters. Which is so unfair. They’re hungry.”
“Kelly.” A warning tone emerged with the name. “You know you’re supposed to be at your lessons.”
“I hate school. I’d rather be fighting,” grumbled the tyke. “You’re no fun. I’m going to see Mum.” The little robed figure disappeared.
The captain sighed. “Children…I think I’m beginning to understand why my parents only had one. Good Morning, Miss Davey. And you must be Ozmodeus Alexopolous. Won’t you join us?”
“Ozmodeus,” I snickered.
He leaned close enough to whisper in my ear. “You can keep using Oz. Easier to scream when you come.”
The very idea had me clenching and aroused. So very, very turned on.
I felt up the seat before gingerly taking my place, and Oz helped tuck in my chair, which caused me a second of surprise. Since when did that happen? Chivalry had died right around the time women started showing their ankles, at least according to Grandma.
While I could tuck in my own chair, I had to say there was something courtly in the fact that Oz did it automatically.
He took the spot beside me, and given the size of the seat versus the width of him, his leg pressed against mine. Hard to ignore. But I did my best. Part of my strategy involved keeping my gaze firmly on the captain.
Adexios of no last name that I’d discovered, looked nothing like Charon…then again, no one knew what the boatman looked like. Charon was only ever seen in robes swathing every bit of his features. His son, though, wore a white uniform adorned with gold braid at the shoulders. A hat sat on the table beside his cutlery. A handsome enough guy, I supposed, but married with kids. Which put him off-limits.
Not that I was looking for candidates, but the spell would. That locket could be anywhere. I had to keep my guard up.
“I hear we’re making port shortly,” I said to start a conversation.
“Not exactly,” Adexios explained. “We’re going to drop anchor in Mermaid Bay and lower the floating docks so guests can go for a swim.”
“I thought mermaids were dangerous.” My father used to tell me stories about the mermaids dragging his crew off the ship and drowning them in the deep.
“Not this particular group. They’ve interbred with humans enough that they’re quite tame compared to their counterparts in Hell.”
“I don’t swim,” the lion beside me declared.
“No doubt. Probably don’t want to get that silky mane soggy,” I said, taking a dainty bite of my croissant.
“I don’t mind getting my hair wet. For the right reasons.” His gaze dipped to my lap.
My cheeks burned, and the bite of pastry got stuck. I took a gulp of coffee.
“If you don’t go for a dip, then you won’t get to see Jane in a bikini,” declared my grandma.
I glared. “I don’t have a bikini.”
“If you forgot to shave, I know a spell,” she offered.
Before I could die of mortification, Oz chimed in. “Nothing lovelier than a lady au natural.”
“We have an entire section in the library devoted to poetry on a female’s bush.” Said by Shax as if it were a serious subject.
I gaped. “Poetry?”
Grandma snorted. “You should ask him how large the section of limericks about male prowess is.”
At the dig, Shax grinned. “Still under construction as we keep adding new ones daily.”
“You work in a library?” I asked.
“Used to. I retired.”
“Doubtful,” Grandma muttered. “I remember how much you loved your damned books.”
“I’ve changed.”
“Hmmph.”
I found this exchange fascinating. There was obviously history between the two.
“Did you guys used to date?” I asked.
“No.”
“Yes.”
I blinked. “Which one is it?”
“Shax was too busy with his job at the library to date.”
He pursed his lips. “More like too shy. And then you were a little too married.”
“She’s single now,” I offered.
“I know.” Shax bestowed a look upon Grandma that she did her best to ignore. Unfortunately, she caught the attention of someone else.
Gaston, the pirate, looking as disreputable as before, slid into the chair beside my grandma. “Hello there, my lovely.”
“Hello to you, too,” she purred, batting her lashes.
What was happening here?
It set Shax to scowling and Gaston to leering. “After breakfast, care to swab my deck?” The wink left nothing to the imagination.
And Grandma didn’t slap him.
“Excuse me!” I exclaimed. “That’s my grandma you’re talking dirty to.” I snapped my fingers, and Gaston grimaced as bubbles frothed from his lips. “As for you…” I narrowed my gaze on my grandmother. “Don’t make me recreate that spell that will put you in menopause again.”
“I’m a grown woman, Jane.” Grandma stood and threw her napkin on the table. “You can’t tell me what to do.”
“You heard the lady, she— Arrgh.” The pirate’s chair tipped over, Shax appeared smug, and I just scowled.
“I should have stayed in my room.”
Beside me, Oz snickered. “But then breakfast wouldn’t have been half as entertaining.”
That earned him a stomp on the toes under the table.
The jerk didn’t even wince. Oz did, however, reach for my hand under the tablecloth.
Why? Why was he holding my hand? I stared at our fingers intertwined.
Thankfully, distraction came from a new direction. “I insist on talking to him.” The strident tone broke through the hum of conversation.
“Oh, shit,” muttered Oz. He released my hand as a beautiful woman stalked over to our table and began shrieking at Adexios, something about flowers.
Oz did his best to unobtrusively slide into the next seat over, leaving a gap between us.
It shouldn’t have hurt. I should have ignored it. Instead, I steamed.
I glared at him. “Cad.”
“It’s not what you think.”
I knew what I thought. The gorgeous woman haranguing the captain over wedding preparations must be Oz’s sister. “You’re embarrassed to be seen with me,” I hissed. The humiliation burned hot.
“Am not.”
I only had to flick my gaze at the empty seat between us for his jaw to tighten. “Trust me when I say you don’t want to be caught on my sister’s radar.”
“Ozzie!” The bride-to-be turned from the dazed captain to her brother. “Where have you been hiding? I haven’t seen you since dinner last night.”
Perhaps it was the bitch in me, or maybe I wanted to impress my lord, the devil, but I was the one to reply for Oz. “He was with me.”
“You?” Such disbelief in the one word as the woman eyed me up and down. Then laughed. “Ozzie. Come.” She snapped her fingers.
I made the sound of a whip, and while everyone watched to see what he would do, Oz sighed.
“Really, Jellia. We talked about this. I am not your little harem boy to scurry at your whim.”
“You’re my brother, and it’s my wedding.” Her lower lip stuck out in a pout.
“I’m here. Isn’t that enough?”
Judging by the storm brewing on his sister’s face? No.
“Don’t be a wet pussy. Show your sis some love,” I mocked.
“Love? Gross. Nasty. What’s love got to do with anything? Don’t tell me you invited my boring brother to this cruise.”
One didn’t need the whiff of brimstone to know who’d arrived.
Lucifer, looking younger than I recalled, appeared in a puff of smoke, wearing a blue blazer, a white ascot, a jauntily tilted cap, and flip-flops etched in jellyfish. On anyone else, it might have seemed ridiculous, but the devil knew how to carry off the fashion faux pas with panache.
“My dark lord, you honor us with your presence.” Grandma gave him a small curtsy.
“What can I say? I am the best devil I can be. When I don’t have to deal with my brother. Where is he?” Lucifer spun his head around for a peek.
“I did not invite your brother,” Adexios mumbled. “You know Charlie still has him grounded for getting that woman pregnant and then locking her up in that dark dimension.”
“Who knew he’d one day make me so proud.” Lucifer put a hand to his chest. “You know that’s twice now he’s impregnated a woman and tried to not take responsibility. I, on the other hand, proudly claim all my bastards.”
“Speaking of which, congrats on your new son.” My grandma didn’t miss an opportunity to kiss the dark lord’s ass.
“Ah, yes, the bane of my existence, the impending tool of my doom. The Antichrist is thriving probably because he gets exclusive use of my wife’s tits. Unfair, I tell you. Those beautiful, firm apples are mine.” Lucifer mimed palming a pair and licked his lips. “But I mustn’t think of them. I must be strong, apparently, until they are mine again!” The evil chuckle vibrated, and no one spoke. It ended with the devil rubbing his hands. “Someone point me in the direction of the mimosas and bikinis.”
Thunder cracked outside, and Lucifer glared overhead. “Just because we’re married, wench doesn’t mean I can’t look.”
A crack of lightning followed by a deep rumbling thunder said otherwise. The joys of Lucifer being married to Mother Earth. He never got away with anything anymore.
The devil’s gaze alighted on me, the slitted eyes narrowed, and his grin widened. “Why, if it isn’t my own bitchy witch.” I didn’t know if I should be flattered or annoyed that he knew me by my nickname.
“Dark Lord, you grace me with your presence.” I didn’t feel a need to curtsy or bow. After all, he’d seen me dancing naked in his name.
“I can’t wait for tonight,” he said with a wink. Which caused more thunder to rattle the windows in the dining room. Lucifer rolled his eyes all around his head, which proved to be disturbing. “Oh, stop the drama, wench. You know I won’t be touching them. I’m saving all that horny power for when I defile you after.”
Oz nudged me as he leaned close to whisper. “What’s tonight?”
“Summer solstice and a full moon.” I didn’t say anything more, mostly because Lucifer fixed us with a calculating gaze.
“Why, what do my eyes see but a witch and a lion, getting cozy. Find a wardrobe, and this could get interesting.”
“Don’t you start your matchmaking shenanigans with my granddaughter,” my grandma—who was looking more and more like my aunt with her new face—interjected.
“Me? Encourage the course of true love?” The devil couldn’t sound innocent if he tried.
“More like shoving,” coughed Adexios.
That drew Lucifer’s attention. “Are you complaining?”
“Heck, no,” exclaimed the captain. “If it weren’t for your shoving, I’d have never met Valaska.”
“And people said I didn’t know what I was doing.” Lucifer patted himself on the back with a pair of arms that appeared out of nowhere.
“Well, there was that demoness that killed the five suitors you tried to set her up with,” the demi-demon by my grandma’s side reminded.
“Not my fault,” grumbled the devil. “She should have said something sooner about preferring dryads.”
“And the captain in your legion who cut off his own arm rather than stay with that ghouless?” Shax apparently had an arsenal of examples.
“Turned out he’d said he liked a woman who could cook a mean gruel, not a ghoul. I’m not perfect. Far from it.” Lucifer winked and managed to make it seem utterly lascivious.
“No messing with my passengers,” Adexios warned. “This is not the Love Boat.”
“Gag me with a giant tit, I should hope not,” the devil gasped. “I’d like to see a little violence, blood, maybe a few flying limbs. It wouldn’t be a cruise without some shenanigans.”
Oz snickered.
“Did you say something, pussy cat?” Lucifer’s head spun a full one-eighty.
“Nope. Not me.” The kitty grinned. “And just so you know, I’ll be doing my part to earn my place in your kingdom when I die.”
Because no one wanted to go to Heaven. It was said the souls up there tended to commit crimes out of boredom just to escape. Although, with Charlie now in charge, things might get more interesting…
“Waaaaaaa!” The strident yodel of a baby caused the devil to wince.
“Dammit. He woke already. Why won’t that child sleep?” Lucifer shook his fist before poofing out of sight.
“So it’s true he had a son?” Oz asked.
“Yes, although there is discussion as to whether or not Damian is truly the Antichrist. Because in the legends, nothing ever said the Son of Perdition would be born in wedlock. It’s put the scholars in quite a tizzy,” Shax explained.
“How do you know that?” I asked.
“I told you, Shax is a librarian.” Grandmother sneered. “Loves his books more than anything else.” And with that statement, she stood, dumped her juice on the demon’s head, and walked out.
Rather than appear angry, the man smiled. “I think she’s softening,” Shax claimed before taking his leave.
The captain went next, declaring that he needed to pretend to actually steer the ship but, rest assured, he wouldn’t actually be touching anything. The real sailors would be handling the navigation.
Even Oz’s sister had left, fleeing around the time Lucifer had arrived, leaving me alone with Oz and a quiet woman at the far end of the table who kept staring at the ring on her finger rather than conversing.
“When should we start looking?” Oz asked, pushing aside his now-empty plates.
“How about now?” The sooner we found the locket, the quicker I could get rid of the kitty who shivered me timbers.
Ack. Being at sea had me channeling my dad. Next thing you knew, I’d be trying to strip the guests of their jewels and ravaging the men. A.k.a, Oz.
“We can start as soon as I get a fix on the scent.”
“How can you do that when I don’t have the item?”
“It’s keyed to you, isn’t it?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Then just stand close to me so I can get a sense for you.”
“How close?”
He dragged me from my chair into his lap. I stiffened. So did he. In one spot.
“Is this an excuse to grope me?”
“I don’t need an excuse, Glinda.” His arms draped around me, and his face nuzzled against my neck, my ear, my hair.
I did my best to not tremble in his grasp. Please don’t let him know how much his presence affects me. My mind did its best to deny the knowledge that he could probably smell my arousal.
“Are you done yet?”
Oz moved under me, his erection evident, which in turn made me wet. He growled softly against me, the vibration of it on my skin making me shiver.
How much longer would this take?
His hand stroked up and down my back. The heat of his breath was in my hair. The spot between my legs pulsed with need.
Crazy need.
He stood abruptly, dumping me from his lap, not that he let me fall. He held on to me, his big hands on my waist, holding me steady.
A good thing, too, because my knees were malfunctioning. I glanced up at Oz and saw his eyes glowing. Gold and intent.
I swallowed. “Did you get what you needed?”
“Not quite.” He reeled me closer. “I just have to—"
The s
hip shuddered as it came to a stop, and the intercom announced, “We’ve arrived at Mermaid Bay. Participating guests should gather on the lower deck for a swim.”
A great cue for me to step away from the much-too-sexy Oz.
He grumbled, “Where are you going?”
“To put on my bathing suit.” Because that tugging feeling was back in my chest, and it let me know I’d be getting wet.
Or at least wetter. My poor panties didn’t survive my proximity to Oz, and I could feel his stare on my backside as I hurried away.
But did he sense my disappointment when he didn’t follow?
7
Oz: I finally understand the expression, I can’t always get what I want. But what if I need…?
It took clenching my fists and rooting my feet to keep me from following Jane. My lack of action made my inner feline yowl.
Why aren’t you chasing her?
The scent of her lingered, making me hard. So fucking hard. And yet I couldn’t forget my conversation with the old woman last night—a witch who had turned into a younger one today.
She’s about to get engaged. And it only took a bottle of rum to figure out that the locket Jane’s grandma had spoken of, and the thing that Jane sought were one and the same. A necklace possessed by Jane’s future husband. No wonder she was so eager to find it.
So was I, and I couldn’t figure out why. If I wanted to rid myself of the witch, I simply had to stay out of her way. Hang with my family. Lock myself in my room. Yet, instead, I’d drunk a vile concoction to handle my hangover and made sure to locate her first thing this morning.
Then tortured myself by holding her hand. What kind of dork did that? The same one that used the lamest excuse in the world to get her sitting in my lap. Feeling her. Smelling her.
Wanting her.
Must have her.
Oh, hell no. Witches and shifters didn’t mix. Often, I should add. There were issues with the whole compatibility thing—the creation of babies requiring special intervention—not to mention the stigma from friends and family. Which I never understood. Nothing wrong with Jane, and it wasn’t as if she could use magic to harm me.
Why am I looking for excuses? Because that’s what I was doing. The realization brought a sigh.