by kendra Smith
Adity and Ed would have a ‘proper’ wedding later in the year – Ed had hinted at it being on the beach – once they were both at university. Adity’s family wanted them to have a Hindu blessing too, and they’d paid for their flights already – more for the sake of Adity’s grandparents in Bali, than anything else. Adity’s mother was Australian and her father was Indonesian. They weren’t really particularly religious, but because Adity’s grandparents were religious, they were insisting on a blessing so they wouldn’t ‘lose face’ in the community as she was marrying a Christian – and because Adity’s grandmother, Granny G, was ill. They’d been told she’d never make the flight to the UK for the formal wedding.
Maddie was wearing her hair down and she’d worked hard at her make-up this time, rather than her usual ‘scrubbed clean’ look. She flicked her hair off her shoulders and put some tiny rosebud earrings in her ears; Ed had given them to her when he was ten – she was sure they were from a Christmas cracker, but she didn’t care. They were one of the few personal things she had left after selling up so much to the debt collectors.
She looked in the mirror and saw a woman with hope in her eyes: would he come tonight?
54
By 8.30 p.m. a shadowy dusk had settled on the garden and the breeze from the sea was chilly but Maddie didn’t feel cold at all. Carole and Rachel were deep in conversation and Alan was laughing after Lauren said something to him; Ed was turning the haloumi on the BBQ, filling the air with smoky tomato marinade; Sue was topping up glasses. The cow was tethered in a far part of the garden, offering the occasional ‘moo’.
Taffie was barking excitedly at it and Maddie had to shoo him away a few times.
‘You look stunning, my love!’ Rachel smiled as Maddie wandered up to her. ‘Your hair’s fabulous like that and the sea air seems to agree with you. No more steamy dinner halls!’
‘I am enjoying it here.’ Maddie glanced at the shimmering sea over the wall. ‘But I will need to sell up soon…’ Maddie started to explain, but then, for some reason, found she didn’t really want to dwell on it and changed the subject. ‘Having a good time?’
Rachel and Carole both murmured their delight and held their glasses out as Sue came past them with a refill.
Maddie took a gulp of her wine. Adity was holding Ed’s hand and they were chatting to a group of choir members. They looked so natural, like they’d been together all their lives. Adity was wearing a beaded dress, the colour of hot red chillies, with a gold trim. With her beautiful toffee-coloured skin and dark hair, she looked radiant. She watched as Ed pointed to the cow, and Adity threw her head back and laughed.
Rachel followed her gaze and nodded over to the couple. ‘They look beautiful together.’
Maddie nodded.
‘Isn’t it lovely, to have their engagement party at Maris Cottage.’ Rachel touched Maddie’s forearm. ‘Olive would have loved this.’
Maddie nodded. ‘She would! She’d be up with Lauren right now, having a sing-along! But you know, a part of her is very much alive in this cottage. Her soul’s still here, giving me inspiration.’
‘I’m sure it is.’ Rachel leant over and straightened Maddie’s flower garland.
Maddie rubbed her hands together. It was now getting a bit chilly after all. She glanced at her watch. Nine o’clock; her heart sank a little.
Back in the kitchen, Maddie was rummaging in a drawer for a bottle opener when she heard the familiar click of boots in the hallway. Her stomach did an involuntary somersault as she froze.
‘Maddie.’ He stood motionless in the doorway and cocked his head to one side as she turned around to face him. For a moment time stood still and it was all she could do not to run up and put her arms around him. She squeezed both hands into tight fists instead.
‘Hi.’ It came out shrill, and wrong and awkward. She folded her arms across her chest as the space in the room between them filled with silence.
He was wearing a pale blue linen shirt and a navy jumper over dark jeans. His hair was still wet and slicked back, but the unruly dark curls of his fringe were already springing forward as he brushed them to the side.
‘Thanks for coming,’ she said eventually. ‘You look nice.’
The side of his mouth tugged a little into a smile. ‘And so do you.’ He nodded at her and she could feel a shot of adrenaline rush through her.
‘I owe it to Ed,’ he slowly said, coming further into the kitchen.
Bam! There it was. He wasn’t here because of her, but because of a sense of duty to Ed. She plastered on a smile. ‘Right.’
‘I brought them something, an engagement present. I think you’ll approve.’ She recognised the wrapping from the Shore Café as he placed it on the kitchen counter. Her pottery. What a lovely gesture.
‘Thanks, Greg. I’m sure they’ll love it.’ She smiled, taking a deep breath as his familiar scent of sandalwood filled the air. ‘Drink?’
He nodded and she turned to the fridge to give her something to do, aware that her dress was quite flimsy; she started to feel goose bumps. She poured them both a drink then turned to face him.
‘Cheers!’ she said, feeling a raspberry flame rise up her neck.
‘Cheers,’ he replied, and for a moment the world stood still they searched each other’s eyes. He lifted his glass to his lips and took a huge gulp, then turned his back on her and headed towards the door – just as Ed came through it.
‘What the— What’s he doing here?’ Ed snapped.
‘Ed, don’t spoil things. This is your engagement party.’
‘I know it’s my engagement party. That’s why I want people around me I care about,’ he said, then jerked his head back. ‘Oh, I get it, you think it’s going to be one big happy fam—’
‘Ed! Don’t,’ interrupted Maddie before he could say anything else. ‘Don’t ruin it for Adity.’ That seemed to stop him.
Ed scowled at Greg and Maddie, then barged past them to open the fridge.
*
Outside on the makeshift ‘stage’, Lauren was strumming her guitar, playing covers of some beautiful ballads. She was sitting on a chair, guitar on her knee, her flaxen hair lit up by the fairy lights of the pop-up. As Lauren played some Adele numbers, Maddie looked around the garden; the sea breeze was lifting the bunting on the edges of the pop-up in the wind as the fairy lights glistened on the cherry tree like fireflies dancing to the music. She’d even remembered to save several jam jars over the last few weeks and had put little bunches of wild flowers in them: forget-me-nots and oxeye daisies, each encircled with a blue gingham ribbon.
As Maddie leant on the side of the house, Ed took Adity to the ‘dance floor’ as Lauren began Ed Sheeran’s ‘Shape of You’. He placed his hand on the small of her back as they swayed together to the music, her beaded dress glistening in the dim light. Maddie started to hum to the music, eyes closed. Or maybe it was the wine. Just then, she was aware of someone next to her. She didn’t need to open her eyes to know who it was.
‘When are they getting married?’ Greg muttered. She could smell the wine on his breath.
‘Later in the year, but Ed has to go to Bali tomorrow – Adity’s parents have organised a Hindu blessing. Her grandmother is really ill. They want her to witness this before – well, before it’s too late.’
Greg nodded. As the song finished Ed was staring at her. It will be all right, she told herself and gave him her most winning smile. He frowned and then twirled Adity round to applause from the crowd.
‘She’s a beautiful girl,’ Greg murmured.
As she turned to face him, she felt the breeze brush her shoulders and she was reminded of the time last year when they’d said goodbye by the stone steps at the reunion. She studied the slightly bruised area beneath his eyes – was he tired? – and the way one side of his collar was tucked inside his jumper and the other one was on top. She reached a hand out to tuck the errant one in, then pulled it back again, as he moved away slightly. He smelt of shaving foam.
‘Thank you for bringing the pottery.’
He nodded and held her gaze. She opened her mouth to say something, but she didn’t get a chance to as suddenly there was a loud crash and feedback from the microphone as Lauren toppled off her seat. Maddie looked on horrified as the cow trampled past and Ed rushed over to try to get hold of it, just as she could make out someone in the darkness who had grabbed the microphone. Oh, holy mother of Jesus. What was he doing here?
Tim was rocking back and forth on his heels and started to speak into the microphone, which was making amplified feedback noises.
‘Lashdies and gentlemen, thank you for coming.’ He looked down at the assembled guests, his eyes watery and glistening in the half-dark.
Somebody get that microphone off him. Maddie marched up to Tim, who put his hand out like an air-traffic controller and held her back. ‘No, Maddie, I have a right to be here.’
Oh, sweet mother of all mothers. No you don’t…
‘Thank yoush for coming today. I believe it’s Ed and his fiancée’s engagement party tonight.’ The Welsh lilt was even more pronounced as he was pissed. ‘And it’s usual to say a little something – so – I’d like say a big congrashulations to the lucky couple, but, as it’s customary for the father to say a few words, I’ll just hand the microphone over to him. He seems to know how to fuck things up – in fact he’s the one, along with fucking Maddie here, who—’
But he didn’t have a chance to finish as Greg, swaying slightly, stepped up to him and all Maddie could see was Greg’s right arm swing back and take a punch at Tim’s face with Greg shouting, ‘Don’t talk about her like that!’
With that, Tim wobbled a bit, then collapsed onto the floor as Taffie ran past chasing the cow. Greg looked from Maddie, to Ed, to Rachel (whose jaw was open), to Tim lying on the ground – and marched right past Maddie who closed her eyes tight shut. No, no, no, no, no.
*
Maddie was desperate to speak to Greg. It wasn’t how she’d wanted the party to be at all. Damn Tim.
But just as she looked around the garden to see where he was, there was a scream next to the BBQ. Rachel was yelling to get some water. Flames were licking up at the side of the pop-up from the BBQ and black smoke was billowing from underneath it. A guest had fallen over by the fence; she could make out Lauren putting ice on her ankle. It was a complete mess.
‘Quick, get some towels. Do you have a fire blanket?’ asked Alan, as Maddie rushed into the kitchen to fetch the one by the back door.
The next thing Maddie saw as she raced back to the garden was Ed stumbling backwards towards the flames on the BBQ.
‘Christ, Mum! It’s all going up in flames!’ Ed screamed. She simultaneously yelled, ‘No!’ and hurtled towards him, shoving him out the way and landing next to the flames, trying to cover them up. Only she didn’t. She missed. And the pain she felt in her hands was so excruciating that the next thing she knew was a black veil descended across her vision as she slumped to the ground and passed out.
55
Maddie woke to bright lights and lots of rushing around. She had a cannula piercing the flesh in the crook of her arm, which was attached to a drip. She was lying on a narrow hospital bed. As she tried to say something, the realisation of where she was and the pain hit her in equal measure.
‘Maddie? Mrs Brown? Good. You’re conscious. Right, you’ve had a bad shock and nasty burns on both your hands, but worse on your left. We’ve hooked you up to a morphine drip. Just press here.’ The nurse bustled to the side to show Maddie a device that had a button on the end, like a pen. She told Maddie to push that if the pain got worse. Ed was standing next to her, eyes wide.
‘Mum! Are you OK? No, I know you’re not OK.’ He shook his head. ‘The surgeon, the trauma guy, he says he’s going to take another look. You’ve got second-degree burns.’ His eyes were moist.
Just then a doctor came in. ‘Mrs Brown? Maddie?’ He scanned the room and looked at Ed.
‘I’m Doctor Thornton,’ he said and then extended a hand to Ed.
‘Ed, Maddie’s son.’
‘Right,’ the doctor continued, ‘you’ve got full thickness burns on your left hand, and we’ve bandaged you up. You’ll need to stay in overnight for observation, but I’m hopeful that you’ll be released in a couple of days. Two weeks of bandages and rest – and a review with a consultant.’ He peered up from his notes. ‘OK?’
Maddie just nodded, then looked down at her hands covered in bandages. She felt dizzy.
‘Greg’s outside waiting for news,’ muttered Ed. ‘I’ve texted Da— Tim.’ Even in all her agony Maddie sighed inwardly. What a mess.
‘Mum, I was really worried about you!’
‘I don’t know what happened,’ she managed. ‘One minute I was trying to throw the fire blanket over the BBQ, the next my arms were up in smoke.’
‘It was the tea towel on your shoulder,’ Ed explained, and sat down on her bed. ‘It caught fire as you leant over, and then the whole thing toppled on top of you. God, I’m so sorry for yelling at you earlier, for being angry. I was furious with Dad, I mean Tim. He was incredibly drunk. And Greg—’
‘Ed, I’m sorry. It was never meant to be like this.’
‘Right, young man.’ A young nurse in a pale green uniform was standing in front of them with her hands on her hips. She smiled at Ed and Maddie. ‘Your mother needs some rest. We’re keeping her in overnight and then we’ll take a view tomorrow.’
‘Mum, I’ll be outside. Here all night. I’ll sleep in the corridor, OK? Just ask the nurse for me if you need me.’ Ed left through the green curtain. Her wonderful son. But he was too young to be burdened with this – he had plans. The nurse checked Maddie’s vitals, and then put her hand over Maddie’s shoulder and squeezed it. ‘Get some rest.’ The room went in and out of focus and she blearily caught sight of the nurse as she swished out of her curtained cubicle, until fatigue took hold of Maddie and she fell into a deep sleep.
*
It was 7 a.m. the next day. Maddie had had an awful night’s sleep. The noises of all the hospital machines seemed to amplify the pulsing in her hands. She took a deep breath, noticed Ed slumped in the chair next to her, asleep. So bright. She squinted up at the neon lights and then turned her head towards Ed. About half an hour later, Ed started to wake up.
‘Mum, how you feeling? I’m glad you’re awake. Look, um…’
He seemed very agitated.
‘What’s wrong, Ed?’
He was scratching his chin.
Suddenly she realised what day it was. ‘Ed, your flights are booked for today, aren’t they?’
‘Don’t worry, Mum, they’re on hold. I told Adity I had to be with you. So, er, we’ll change our flights, don’t worry.’
She managed a small smile, and had to use all her willpower to be much braver than she really felt, when all she actually wanted was to have someone she trusted around to help her, to look after her. ‘No. You go, Ed. It’s fine. The doctors have said I should be out tomorrow. It’s not great, I admit, but I’ll survive.’
Ed opened his mouth to say something, but she cut in.
‘Really, Ed, go.’
Maddie, a little voice said, you can do this.
56
The air that filled the hospital room was stifling. Ed stood by the window with his arms folded tightly across his chest. He’d fetched Maddie a cold drink, and, using a straw, she could just about manage. He’d been on his phone, punching out messages. She could hear his muffled voice in the corridor, dozed off for an hour, and had woken to find him pacing the floor. Adity had already left on the flight yesterday but Ed had delayed his for twenty-four hours, against Maddie’s wishes.
‘Mum, look, I’ll change my flight again. We’ll do it another time.’ He turned to face her.
‘We’ve been through this, Ed. All of Adity’s family are expecting you, and her granny’s really ill. Might not make it to your real wedding, you said. Remember? What would Olive had
said?’
Ed tilted his head back and shrugged.
‘She’d say you should go. That I’m a big girl. You’re starting your new life with Adity; you need to do this for her and her family. I’ll be fine. Lauren’s around,’ Maddie said a confidence she didn’t feel.
They were waiting for Maddie to be released. The nurses had changed her bandages and told her to come back a week later as an outpatient. In the meantime, she was to keep them dry and try not to do too much.
‘Will you have someone at home who can look after you for a day or two?’ The nurse placed hand on her arm.
‘Yes,’ she quickly said as Ed opened his mouth then shut it again. She would manage somehow.
*
The ride in the taxi back home was excruciating. Not only because her pain relief had worn off but also because the silence was deafening. Ed’s guilt hung over them like a shroud of unspoken angst.
They bumped along the back roads from the hospital in Newport back to Brightwater Bay village and along the coast road to Maris Cottage. Maddie looked out at the early holidaymakers along the beach, the usual mixture of British bravery in the face of a bit of sunshine in early June. There were children with red and blue body boards, hollering and splashing in the waves, intricate sandcastles being built by absorbed toddlers. The sea glistened like a mermaid’s aquamarine scales. A small black Labrador pup ran up and down the beach. Brightwater Bay was picture-perfect. She glanced back at stony-faced Ed.
‘Where’s Taffie?’ Maddie suddenly said.
‘Lauren took her. She’ll be round later.’